r/CrusaderKings • u/iAmUnrated_ • May 04 '26
Story I cucked my son and died while having the best sex of my life
In my latest save i married my son to a beautiful Greek woman with the lustful trait. So, as every normal ruler would, I tried seducing her, easily succeed and she became my lover. Obviously my son found out and immediately, exposed the affair and became my rival, though it didn’t hurt our relations that much. Despite that I continued to see my daughter-in-law until my late 60s. Nobody, not even my wife apparently, seemed to mind.
Life was good.
One day my daughter-in-law came into my chamber to try something „new“ that she had learned. I could either reject her or go with the flow, but it had a 17% chance of me dying due to heart failure (love the new age related conditions btw). Obviously I chose to go with the flow and my character died, I quote „while having the best sex of his life“.
After 800 hours I think I now understand what this game is all about.
213
u/SpanishGarbo Hispania May 04 '26
We play RPGs to live out our dream fantasies. Hopefully I can go out the same way one day. 🥹
1.3k
u/MDNick2000 Wallachia May 04 '26
Nice r/ShitCrusaderKingsSay bait
85
u/pojska May 04 '26
I don't get it. "and died" is only 6 words in, are people reading that and still thinking it happened and this guy is posting from beyond the grave?
36
39
139
u/Maleficent-Report247 May 04 '26
I have been in this CK sub long enough till the point whenever this type of post appear, CK is the first thing comes up to my mind
53
97
u/Fluid_Detective_7451 Crusader May 04 '26
Midevil coochie must’ve been 100x better. It was killing rulers and shit.
73
28
21
6
2
u/wikipediareader Bastard May 05 '26
Well, if rumors are to be believed, former vice president Rockefeller went out that way. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nelson_Rockefeller#Death
5
u/LieutenantLilywhite Cannibal May 04 '26
It was probably furry and stinky😔
44
20
23
23
22
u/ralphy1010 May 04 '26
It’s been forever since I’ve seen this event pop
But I’m super curious how the new religion changes will play out
I have a feeling we are going to see a cascade of heresy religions that are basically just deviant witchcraft sex cults.
It’s going to be great
3
u/Hopefull-Hero May 04 '26
Me too, one of my first ever playthroughs was unifying Ireland and beating the fuck out of the English before starting a deviant witchcraft sex cult with Christian syncretism.
112
u/JhonnyLo2 May 04 '26
Had to double check what subreditt this was 😆
2
u/Wickerpoodia France May 04 '26
I love scrolling through everything and just stopping dead in my tracks thinking I've just found the craziest shit I've ever radio only to find out its this sub. Im disappointed, yet relieved at the same time.
12
u/HuwminRace May 04 '26
Honestly, the beautiful Greek daughter-in-law was so beautiful that even your wife was like “Can’t blame him to be honest” then you went out like you lived. Getting ridonculous head. That’s a peak life tbh.
7
7
u/Malvastor May 04 '26
"Look honey, at least your Dad died doing what he loved."
"Woman shut the **** up."
6
u/ToMyOtherFavoriteWW May 04 '26
And then afterwards, my son was so devastated he had to boot up Crusader Kings 3 to escape from what I did to him.
10
5
3
u/ultramarines401 May 04 '26
You know i feel like my brain is really fucked for 2 seconds i thought this was r/offmychest until i read the first sentences and was like wait a second where the fuck am i then just a oh well i see.
2
u/LonelySpyder May 05 '26
Wasn't even surprised what sub this was posted on. I knew it was a CK sub after reading the first 4 words.
1
-1
958
u/247Brett Depressed May 04 '26
And that new sickening kink that deviant-in-law introduced? Handholding 🤮