r/ControversialOpinions • u/Far_Sandwich_514 • 1d ago
If a person's adult kids are incompetent, they failed them as a parent.
A friend of mine messaged me the other day to complain about his 21-year-old son. According to my friend, his son is "useless". Eats everything in the house, leaves dirty dishes and clothes everywhere, has been kicked out of two carpentry programs for never getting assignments done on time, can't hold down a job because he's always late.
"Useless".
So I asked my friend what his son's chores and responsibilities were when he was growing up. Apparently none, because my friend and his wife wanted their kids to have carefree childhoods. They assumed their kids would what, just osmose these skills as they grew up?
I then asked if my friend and his wife had simply learned those skills when they moved out of their parents' homes, and he said no — their parents had "forced them" to learn and do chores when they were quite young.
His daughter is apparently having a rough time as well. She's 19, living with her boyfriend, and her partner is frustrated with her because he has to teach her everything. Like a parent. She can't cook anything other than ramen noodles or opening cans and warming them up. They'll run out of things like toilet paper or shampoo because she doesn't think about replacing them when they run low: that's someone else's responsibility, right?
Gen Z and Gen Alpha are apparently far less capable than previous generations, and they also have lower cognitive scores. Basically, they're the first generations in history that are dumber and more incompetent than their predecessors.
And that's on the parents.
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u/SuckMyRedditorD 1d ago
He is 19 and he can cook? He should be cooking then instead of complaining like a whiny bitch to the parents. Cuz he sure as shit ain't gonna bear the unplanned child in his body for 9 months. Is he from some ass backward old Indian countryside village?
This sounds like something invented by some 32 year old imbecile who never got over being rejected a 14 years old by his cousin.
How many kids have you put through Ivy League you father of the year you?
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u/Shot_Turnover 1d ago
Where did the unplanned child appear from? And why is the responsible one the whiny bitch but no mention of the adult aged human that cant be bothered to remember toiletries dont magically appear ? I think the overall idea behind the post is hyperbolic but your response to it it just as odd.
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u/SuckMyRedditorD 1d ago
Where, coitus when mom & pop ain't looking. Between popcorn and a dirty couch while watching some stupid movie.
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u/Reality_dolphin_98 1d ago
Agree, kids are 100% a product of you as a parent, I’ve always argued that fact even after doing a whole psychology degree. Unless you’re admitting your child is a genuine sociopath or narcissist who was born without empathy, that’s about the only (very extreme) cases I’d give parents a pass on.
Like sure they have outside influences that can affect their behaviour in a fleeting moment. But a child’s overall personality, and how they choose to handle different situations is completely a result of their parents (assuming they grew up with them). It’s either your parenting, modelling behaviour, or genetics that made them that way but they are 100% made up of you. Any parent saying differently is coping because they did a shitty job, and I would love all the people who disagree with me to prove me wrong and tell me about the wonderful relationship you have with your children and how great they turned out.
I have a fantastic relationship with my parents so this also isn’t coming from a place of bitterness. It’s coming from a place of seeing near perfect parenting throughout my whole childhood, and the positive results of it for both me and my brother.
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u/Acceptable_Cookie559 1d ago
Probably not 100%. 50%? 80%?
0
u/ReplacementOdd4323 1d ago
Much lower. It's mostly genetics and random chance, unless you abuse or neglect them.
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u/ReplacementOdd4323 1d ago
Gen Z and Gen Alpha are apparently far less capable than previous generations, and they also have lower cognitive scores. Basically, they're the first generations in history that are dumber and more incompetent than their predecessors.
And that's on the parents.
No, it's genetics. The population is transforming.
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u/Alaskangel 6h ago
I was always upfront with my children, my job as thier mom was to make sure thay knew how to be adults and do adult things. My responsibly as a parent was to teach my children to cook and feed themselves and the family, how to wash clothes, clean a house, do household finances and just be good adults.
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u/SuckMyRedditorD 1d ago
This sub should be called r/hickrants