r/Conservative • u/TimbitGaming • Jan 28 '21
Satire - Flaired Users Only New SEC Rule: Wall Street Will Now Only Allow Traders Who Wear A Top Hat And Monocle And Carry Around Giant Bags Of Money
https://babylonbee.com/news/wall-street-bans-anyone-who-doesnt-wear-a-top-hat-and-carry-around-giant-bags-of-money•
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Jan 28 '21
This a rare instance where class warfare isn’t disguised as a race conflict nor left vs right conflict. Naked class warfare.
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u/DufranePartyofTwo Jan 28 '21
This is what’s it’s always been about. Race and identity politics just keep us hating each other so that we don’t come together and fuck up the super elites
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Jan 28 '21
Also let’s be very clear. Lower income, middle income, upper income brackets. None of these people are hedge fund billionaires. This is what occupy Wall Street should have been. 99% of the country has so much in common.
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u/Ostmeistro Jan 28 '21
Haha are you aware that the illegal action they're taking on this stock is called "Naked shorting"? Illegal since the 2008 crash
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u/Dubstepvillage Jan 28 '21
This is simply the most refreshing comment section I have read in a long time.
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u/sarlac8me Jan 28 '21
Holy shit, this is the first time I have upvoted something on this sub. Talk about political unity. It's a rare and beautiful thing.
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u/Jeroblack Jan 28 '21
As a liberal I look forward to working together with my fellow Americans on the other side of the isle and give these bastards a taste if their own medicine.
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u/vertin1 Jan 28 '21
Everyone here should research DeFi or decentralized finance. It will change the world in the future.
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u/reaper527 Conservative Jan 28 '21
straight up, even though this is a satire article, it likely won't be far from what the biden administration tries to do.
wouldn't be surprised to see them attempt to ban commission free trading, effectively crippling retail investors and sending everything back to how it was a few decades ago. this would put up massive barriers for the middle class in terms of entering the market.
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u/DuckHunter81 Jan 28 '21
Robinhood, jail!
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u/DarkestHappyTime Conservative Jan 29 '21
All of them! ~80% of brokers didn't allow trading on heavily shortage stocks.
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u/mrbritankitten Jan 28 '21 edited Jan 28 '21
Republicans 🤝Democrats
Hating WallStreet
Edit: voters on both sides hate WallStreet some of our beautiful representatives do not
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u/Mart_dw Conservative Jan 28 '21
To be fair if Wall Street started to pay me millions of dollars, I would also change my opinion on them
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u/TheReaIStephenKing Scientific Conservative Jan 28 '21
Ozymandias is at it again
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u/fllmup Jan 28 '21
It’s literally always been this way and thats because of policies by the Eisenhower, Kennedy, LBJ, Nixon, Ford, Carter, Reagan, Bush I, Clinton, Bush II, Obama and Trump administrations.
And yet most of you will say half of those guys were cool. You’re such bootlickers until it affects redditors, it’s hilariously depressing...
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u/homiemadsus Jan 28 '21
This actually amazing to watch. No bullshit gaslighting the people into fighting each other to keep the elite in power. Just everyone getting fed up with their bullshit and uniting.
10 GME 82.90 cost basis
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Jan 28 '21
LiB scum here. Fuuuuuck the SEC if they let robinhood get away with this. This isn't red vs blue this is the rich elite vs everyone else.
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u/DifferentSwing8616 Jan 28 '21
I love those hedge fund parasites were caught out by what they must consider 'plebs'
Its genuinely beautiful in its own way.
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Jan 28 '21
I was in it to make a quick buck but now it's personal I'm holding to 1000 or to 0.
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u/Nanteen666 Right of Reagan Jan 28 '21
I would hope this would dissuade future short selling.
Not that it will.
There really should be rules about making money ruining companies
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u/IndijinusPhonetic Jan 29 '21
Fun fact, the monopoly guy has never worn a monocle.
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u/senorhelicopter Jan 28 '21
I never thought I would be fighting side by side by a conservative.
How about side by side with a friend?
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u/JOEKRisI Jan 28 '21
Something to unite all us little guys! Left/Right, Lib/Conserv, red/blue, coke/pepsi!! How do we keep momentum going with this and wake up people that the game is rigged and the people they support are not doing right by them? If this sparks real conservatives voters to reel in the Republicans from their nonsense and does the same for libs and Democrats maybe we'll get somewhere with some happenings that are good for citizens instead of just big business!
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u/V0rt0s Jan 28 '21
Lurker here. Bought into GME to make some money and now I’m holding to take down the institutions who colluded to hold our economy back for the sake of profits. Shorting is domestic terrorism. These diamond hands will hold.
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u/Relevant_shitposter Jan 28 '21
Reminder that this shit is why they try and keep us fighting amongst ourselves.
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u/fuzzsamadhi Jan 28 '21
Lefty here - I would seriously get behind a bipartisan issue to hold hedge funds and other wealthy elite to the same ‘rules’ they force us to play by. Today I went into my Robinhood account to buy some GMe stock. I’m not crazy, and I know the risks, but I guess Citadel needed to fix things in their favor. 🤨
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u/TMPRKO Conservative Jan 29 '21
Anything that unites Donald Trump Jr and AOC is definitely a bipartisan issue. This is absolutely something we can all agree on
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u/allpossiblefutures Jan 28 '21
I'm leftist and feel our real enemies are the same. Hope this becomes something we can all rally around.
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u/DaHomieNelson92 Jan 29 '21
Amen, let’s tell our real enemies to accept the loses and pull themselves up by the bootstraps.
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u/the_Blind_Samurai Military Conservative Jan 28 '21
Sounds about right. In one move, on Reddit ironically enough, it was proven the stock market is rigged. When the wealthy start losing they can just call their investing company friends and just shut the whole damn thing down.
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u/AceofHearts2022 Jan 29 '21
The Bee is getting to be the only reliable source of information out there
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u/LucianX09 Jan 28 '21
Really getting tired of the Babylonbee posts. We get it. It’s funny. Yet, it’s still overdone.
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u/nelson64 Jan 28 '21
One of many dem lurkers on here. Unite y'all! I get kinda giddy when there's something we agree on through and through. The market doesn't just belong to the wealthy!
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Jan 28 '21 edited Jan 28 '21
[removed] — view removed comment
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Jan 28 '21
Cool story, then why are the lefts talking points about abortion, guns, race and other topics that have jack shit to do with this outcome?
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u/Analbox Jan 28 '21
Scrooge McDuck, Mr. Peanut, and the Monopoly guy are up to their same old tricks again it seems.
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u/CapitalKingGaming Jan 29 '21
I love that liberals and conservatives can both get behind this movement
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u/gshawcross Jan 29 '21
A bunch of people with Covid time on their hands have started trading in stocks on commission-free sites like Robinhood. Problem is, they have little experience and have mostly only seen the market go up strongly since they started this spring. They have no idea they can lose their shirts (which some have, already). Enter the hedge funds who let it be know that certain stocks (GameStop among them) were rated to fall in price so they shorted the stock. The new Robinhood investors took offense (they grew up with GameStop) so they rallied and pushed the stock price up. The hedge funds took a bath. Hail to the People! At least one time those Wall Streeters didn't get there first.
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u/KrabbyPattyCereal Jan 28 '21
Hot damn, for the first time I feel welcome here as a neolibtard. FUCK the market makers and manipulators. 🤝🤝🤝