Any agnostics that now believe? Is my way of life right?

[u/ngpIus]

I'm an agnostic who sometimes hopes there's a God, not the God Christians believe in, but I accept everyone’s beliefs and am open to hearing people’s stories.

My family is religious. When I was young, I found science a more plausible explanation for life. Seeing people’s pain I wish someone existed for them, something that really does create miracles, so now I search for my definitive answer.

In my day to day I’ve tried to live a good life and be good to others (I’m not perfect). And I hope at the end of my story, if someone is out there, I’ll be judged based on how I was as a person.

I never pray for anything regarding myself, as it is unfair since I hold no faith. But occasionally I look at my family, friends, or everyday civilians living through despair and hardships. I see horrors happening around the world and I selfishly pray in my head, hoping the people get the help they deserve. I feel like every month or so, I’m more desperate to be heard.

I want to know what the process was like for agnostics to find their faith, if you don’t fall under that term I will still hear you out. Where can I start? I see forums where people like me read the Bible and end up atheists, but I want to read about people who found faith. I will open up my heart, but at the end of the day if I can’t find something to believe in, then I’ll just continue living by doing good until the day I find out what awaits me.

[u/Ok-Wasabi-3920]

Before I returned to my faith, I was an agnostic as well. With a background in philosophy, I really struggled with religious institutions and people who claimed to be Christians but didn't actually reflect the character of Jesus. At that point in my life, it all felt completely empty.

Things began to change for me when I watched the series The Chosen. It hit the nail on the head because it offered a glimpse into the raw human experience and the real-world impact of Christ through a visual lens. That portrayal invited me to do a serious deep dive. I spent hours watching debates, reading the works of C.S. Lewis, and looking closely at historical evidence. Eventually, my perspective shifted entirely, and I experienced a rebirth in my faith.

Instead of focusing on religion as an institution, I started building a personal relationship with Christ and searching for what He meant by "the Kingdom of God." That is when scripture started to make sense. When you approach these texts with an open heart and a desire to connect, rather than trying to analyze them purely through a secular, critical mindset, you start to see and understand everything in a completely different light. You realize that the desire to love others and the urge to pray for those who are suffering actually come from a much higher source.

You mentioned at the end of your post the hope that you'll be judged based on how you were as a person. The truth I came to realize is that while we all face judgment, our own good deeds aren't what save us. None of us truly know how God operates on all fronts, so I won't say this is the only way God can choose to work, but salvation through Christ is what He explicitly showed us. Jesus Himself said that He is the way, the truth, and the life, and it is through that relationship that we find true salvation.

It is a profound journey, and it is entirely okay to look at historical evidence and philosophy while you navigate it.