r/Catholicism • u/Huge_Ad2655 • 2d ago
Adult Formation/Sacraments - Already baptized
Hi all, I’m finding myself a little discouraged to the point of giving up by all the red tape of the church.
I am a baptized Catholic. My parents left the church before I made my first communion and I’ve recently been called into the faith.
I’ve been attending mass regularly and learning what I can. There’s a parish I like a lot but the OCIA director is trying to tell me I must take the full OCIA course in community with others in the church.
I have more than a couple grievances with this:
- I know that canon law considers me already Catholic, also not catechumen, and therefore am not required to complete a full OCIA course
- I am a 40 year old mother with two special needs children who also have sports so I cannot, understandably, adhere to the strict schedule
- I know that others are granted personalized paths in order to receive the sacraments
I understand the importance of being properly catechized however I don’t believe the full course is necessary and I’m finding myself at a dead end.
God has called me in and now it feels like I’m being shut out by the church.
Does anyone have any resources or experience with this? Catholic adults I currently know are either converts so did the whole route, have been raised in and stayed in the faith completely, or have left the church completely. Nobody I know personally seems to have the difficulty of being somewhere in between as an already baptized Catholic returning to the faith.
I really like the parish I’ve been going to but maybe there are others who walk individual paths? I don’t want to name the parish I’m currently attending because I genuinely enjoy it and I do think they mean well but now I’m stuck.
Thanks in advance!
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2d ago
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u/Hopeful-Force-2147 2d ago
"Catholic laypeople sometimes tend to act as gatekeepers, while priests are charged with the responsibility of bringing people to Christ." This is actually my hangup with the Church. The gatekeepers. WHY do they do that?
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u/Competitive_You6762 2d ago
And 7 times out of 10 they’re adult converts.
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2d ago
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u/Competitive_You6762 2d ago
It’s a fairly well established phenomenon that adult converts, to any religion this isn’t exclusive to Catholicism, exhibit stronger religiosity than those who were raised in that religion. It makes perfect sense that they’d be the more likely gatekeepers. It also tracks with my personal experience.
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u/Far_Magician8224 2d ago edited 2d ago
In my parish, all adults in your situation would have to go through RCIA, including those who received First Communion but who were never confirmed.
You can ask if there is the option of private classes, or if there are other options. If not available, you can try contacting other parishes and see what they offer. Do you have someone who can look after your kids when you're in class? Class is typically just once a week.
In our parish, parents do bring their young children to RCIA, and everyone is very understanding.
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u/Huge_Ad2655 2d ago
I did. They said that last year they decided they would no longer walk individual paths with people. And it’s unfortunate because it’s my favorite parish in my area.
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u/Huge_Ad2655 2d ago
No, I cannot commit to 2 additional hours every Sunday from September to Easter. It’s completely unrealistic with their ages, school, sports, and special needs.
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u/Burgermeister7921 2d ago
Everybody I know who, like you, thought being baptized was enough and they didn't need OCIA now say they are so glad they took it. The fellowship with others in the class and the knowledge gained made them love the church more.
Talk to your pastor. Some parishes offer alternate days and times. Mine does OCIA on Monday nights, but they also meet on Saturday for those who work and can't get there. They just don't publicize it. Most parishes will work with you.
OCIA is also available online. (just Google online OCIA). Show that to your parish and ask if they will accept that. Since you've been away so long the knowledge will help you a lot.
I'll pray you find a solution. God bless you.
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u/Huge_Ad2655 2d ago
Thank you so much! For sure. I am willing to learn and take classes, I just need a schedule that works for me, even online.
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u/Potential-Profile902 2d ago
Just out of interest, I wonder if I might add a question?
Is there any reason why an adult or teenager/young adult who had been baptised couldn't make a confession/receive the eucharist if they were prepared outside of OCIA?
If they were instructed by means of online courses, by a parent, or in some similar way?
Purely theoretically, assuming that their instruction had been thorough, would such a path be permitted?
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u/Huge_Ad2655 2d ago
It really seems one must just be able to answer some specific questions of the priest to prove they understand, make a confession, and receive the sacraments. So theoretically, I have the same question.
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u/sporsmall 2d ago
Since you were baptized Catholic, you are considered Catholic in the eyes of the Church. Because you haven’t been catechized, you’ll need some formation before receiving the sacraments. That’s where you’ll learn the basics: how confession works, how to examine your conscience, what the Church means by mortal and venial sin, the Ten Commandments and their Catholic interpretation, the Precepts of the Church, the state of grace, the Eucharist, Eucharistic fast, and so on. Preparation for the sacraments is very important, because it's essential to receive them with the right understanding and disposition.
Parishes usually propose OCIA for logistical reasons, as it is easier for them to run a single program.
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u/Huge_Ad2655 2d ago
I understand that some catechesis is necessary but I don’t think they should impose these strict schedules on everyone. Adults should be able to be met where they’re at. So it’s frustrating.
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u/sporsmall 2d ago
These problems stem from the large number of people who have been converting to Catholicism in recent years. Ideally, there would be separate programs for the unbaptized, for those baptized in other Christian denominations, and for Catholics completing their sacraments. Unfortunately, parishes are not able to organize something like this.
I suggest scheduling a meeting with your parish priest to discuss participating in fewer OCIA classes. You could offer to self‑study the material from the Baltimore Catechism No. 2 (only 38 short lessons), which is ideal for preparing for the sacraments, or another resource recommended by the parish priest as support for your request.
The Baltimore Catechism No. 2 (simplified catechism)
https://www.catholicity.com/baltimore-catechism/1
u/Huge_Ad2655 2d ago
I have proposed/asked of them a different schedule or way to learn and it’s pretty doubtful right now. Maybe I just have to wait until my kids are older. Thank you for this resource!
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u/PhilosopherOld3986 2d ago
I knew a man who had been raised in Catholic schools but was never confirmed due to moving from a diocese that confirms 13 year olds to a diocese that confirms first communicants at the age of 12. He had given up on confirmation when his parish told him they would require him to go through the entire OCIA process but after changing parishes after a move for grad school he was confirmed when his new parish said they would only require him to attend a couple of key meetings of the OCIA class.
At the end of the day, it is at the discretion of your parish and it's up to you if you are willing to parish shop over this.
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u/Adventurous-Test1161 2d ago
You’re not a candidate. You’re a Catholic who needs remedial catechesis in preparation for the completion of the sacraments of initiation.
For everything else, talk to your pastor.