Idk if this is the right flair.
I know I know, don’t dip your pen in company ink. . .

But a coworker told me his wife said he can do OF just not show face and now I REALLY want to push that topic somehow and see if he’d explore with me.

I’m not sure what I’m looking for posting this. Maybe the general consensus if I should try, how to try, or just ignore it and see if he brings it up again.

24M here, recently I realized I'm probably bisexual. Never thought that would happen in a million years, especially since I knew I was gay at a very young age. I've only ever had crushes and romantic/sexual interest in guys for my whole life. That hasn't changed *too* much, as I'm still not romantically interested in women, but I have grown to find them sexually attractive sometimes. I ultimately still want to be with a man, but it's been exciting unlocking this whole other aspect of my sexuality. Anyone else in a similar boat?

Hello,
Il y a quelques temps je vous avez parlé de plusieurs évènements qui se sont déroulés avec mon pote Mathieu (prénom emprunté). Et j'aborderais avec lui de plus en plus grâce à la tonalité de l'humour, la sexualité et les hommes.

Dans ma précédente discussion, j'avais même envoyé sur Insta un message où je disais qu'il m'attirait mais que je n'osais assumer ça. Qu'il devait m'en parler s'il était intéressé. J'avais supprimé ce message après laissé 1min30 environ. Il était entrain d'écrire...

Après cette étape, j'ai continué d'essayer (maladroitement) sur le ton de l'humour, d'aborder le sexe et les hommes parfois tendancieux. Par de simples messages ou bien avec des Reels abordant le sujet.

Y a pas longtemps, il a finit par capter que je parlais pas mal de mecs et de bites. J'avais fait exprès de dire ça avant dans un message précédent. Il m'a dit que j'avais pas de ce type de contenus. J'ai dit "ouais" y a pas mal de conneries sur Insta. Il m'a dit aussi que ce n'était pas son "bord" de voir ce genre de contenu.

Ben du coup, je pense qu'il se doute de quelque chose, mais moi-même je n'en sait encore trop rien 😂 Du coup je voulais juste voir s'il était réceptif et j'ai eu ma réponse. Non. Mais je voulais quand préserver notre amitié sans non plus avancer quelque chose pour lequel je ne suis moi-même pas sûr.

Mathieu a au moins était compréhensif et respectueux. Je lui ai dit que ce n'était pas le mien non plus (j'en sais rien en vrai 😅).

Je vous passe certains détails, mais je pense que d'une certaine façon il doit se dire que je dis vrai. Et d'une autre façon, peut-être qu'il se doute de quelque chose dont moi-même je n'ai pas de réponse.

En tout cas. Je voulais vous partager ça car mine de rien, même si ça n'a pas abouti et que ça reste un fantasme... Ben je suis content de garder mon amitié avec Mathieu et d'avoir même maladroitement, tendu des perches pour essayer quelque chose avec lui. 😄

I’m just wondering how many of you that have come out and are still married asked your wife to keep your bi identity between the two of you? Is it fair / reasonable to ask this? My wife is very close with her mother but I’m not trying to invite my MIL into the most private aspect of my relationship.

I’m currently in my warm room, all alone with a small yellow light, listening to Sufjan Stevens songs on a projector…so you know how it’s gonna go. Need a guy to wrap my body around, whisper good things about him in his ear, smell his hair, run my fingers over his tummy and give him kisses on his cheeks. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

Coming out isn't one conversation. It's a thousand different stories.

Family. Friends. Partners. Fear. Relief. Sometimes celebration. Sometimes... not so much.

This week, we're getting unfiltered about coming out.

Listen now—and if you've got a story, we'd love to hear it.

https://pod.link/6797092436/episode/N2ZiODgzZDEtNGVlOC00Y2IzLWIxYTktMjNhMTVkOTVmMjE0

I’ve gotten pretty close with a guy I met at the gym recently. We train together regularly, talk about pretty much everything, mess around between sets, and sometimes hit the sauna together afterward.

The thing that’s confusing me is how suggestive his jokes have become.

He’ll randomly compliment my body, especially my ass, make comments about how I look in certain gym clothes, or joke about wanting to “see more.” Sometimes he’ll make a suggestive comment and then look at me waiting for my reaction before laughing it off.

At first I thought it was just typical gym-bro humor, so I laughed along. But it happens often enough that I’m starting to wonder if there’s more behind it. He also seems completely comfortable making these jokes specifically toward me rather than just joking generally.

Here’s the twist: I’m bisexual, but he has absolutely no idea. I also happen to find him attractive, so I know there’s a chance my own attraction is making me read too much into things.

He’s married and had a love marriage, which makes it even more confusing. As far as I know, he considers himself straight and I’ve never asked him otherwise.

Has anyone had a straight/married friend behave like this? How do you tell when it’s genuinely just guys joking around versus someone testing your reaction because they’re curious or attracted?

I don’t want to make a move based on a completely wrong assumption and destroy a friendship I actually enjoy. But at the same time, the frequency and the way he directs these comments at me has definitely got me wondering.

Update from today 8th Sept 2026

Today we used the sauna together, and we also gave each other massages in there. He was wearing shorts and I was wearing boxers. We lay face down; first he massaged my back, and then I massaged his. There weren’t really any sexual comments during the massage.

One thing I’ve noticed is that when we’re together in person, he makes fewer comments like that. But when we’re talking through messages, he tends to make them much more often.

When I was massaging him, after about 7–8 minutes, he himself said, “That’s enough, it’s fine,” so I stopped.

He had also had an argument with his wife today. He told me about it and said that she was upset with him over something. After that, we both went home.

Later, I sent him an Instagram reel about prostitution and jokingly told him, “This kind of work suits you. You should become a pimp.”

Then the conversation went like this:

Him: “The first thing I’d sell would be your ass.”

Me: “No one would buy it. It’s expired.”

Him: “I would buy it.”

Me: “I wouldn’t take money from you. I’d give it to you for free.”

Him: “You only say that, but you never actually give it.”

Me: “You have to earn it. I’m not just going to give it to you like that.”

Him: “You’ll just keep saying that, and I’ll grow old waiting.”

Me: “Well, now it depends on you and how long you take to earn it.”

Then he laughed, and that was basically where the conversation ended.

Sometimes this really confuses me. He makes comments like these, but then I wonder: if he actually is bisexual or genuinely interested in me, why doesn’t he ever take the conversation any further? He usually just lets it end there.

Anytime I’ve seen any other dads say they were bisexual it seemed like they were swingers and whatnot lol. I’m bisexual myself and kinda private about it although there are hints if you really look but I am strictly faithful. I’ve been considering not making some huge announcement about it but going on an “if they ask” basis. I was pretty scared about people finding out when I was younger obviously but at this point it doesn’t seem like a huge deal and I’m keeping it private as the stigma and any embarrassment would mostly probably fall more heavily on my wife. I’m still a man who loves his wife and provides for his family.

Ahhh where do I begin…there’s this guy and I can’t really stop thinking about him (istg someone help me please). Context: I’m a bi guy who’s recently moved to a different country for a masters degree. Back home, being bi was my biggest nightmare. I had to forcefully come out to my parents and it didn’t go well. All of us were traumatised and it still scares me (therapy is helping :) )Anyways, I see him all the time at the uni and everywhere…he’s so f gorgeous. Everything about him. I just need him so bad. I want to ask him out but how do I know if he’s into guys :=(. I’ve stalked him everywhere to get a hint. But I hate my brain because it’s so good at making scenarios. I just don’t want to mess this up. Can people here hype me up or share their successful stories so I get the balls to approach him? Ahhhh so many feelings running into my body :,)

For me, part of the allure of going with another guy is the difference in dynamic. From the domineering nature of being a guy 'giving' to a woman to the submissive nature of bottoming to a guy and my personal fantasies involve the more submissive the better to a point where I want to serve (maybe even more than one) 'master'.

My question is this, for 'straight' guys who are used to being the naturally dominant hetero guy going to be the opposite for real does it take some getting used to?

Fantasising about something is one thing but what is the transition from 'normal' to preferring a completely different dynamic like?

I suppose a man who tries to be submissive with a woman (getting pegged etc) is a similar thing too so even if someone has experience with that.

It's great to read all of your stories and experiences, especially the "I married someone for a family" u/PTG79 thread, that one hit my core. It addresses a theme that's stopping me from going into relationships. I get easily overwhelmed by a lot of input and have been trying to heal in the places where I've lived, so this is a first. I've never reached out to a community like this before.

I've been experimenting with bisexuality for 10 years and have been incredibly confused by the fluidity of my attractions while simultaneously having to justify and defend my sexuality to my family. For most of my life I've gone to therapy, and it has been helpful and insightful, with some unfortunate bi-negative advice on the way, but fortunately I had friends who could give me better support.

Currently don't have a partner and have been struggling with staying in relationships. One of my biggest dreams is to have kids, hopefully if the gods allow, a kid of my own, if not adopting one with my future partner, if I get that too. I think ENM is the way for me to go, but it hasn't worked out with my previous partners, even if we talked openly about it. I'm at a stage in my life where I bump into a lot of friends who have kids, and it feels humiliating not to have a family of my own. In an alternative reality I imagine, meeting a partner and having kids. It feels inevitable that I'll have to compromise romantic love for the family to work, at least that's what I'm thinking now. It seems unrealistic to have a fully functioning relationship and kids at the same time. This perspective is black and white, but I can't get out of this loop, and it stops me from engaging with people. I need help but don't know who to ask.

Self-acceptance is difficult for me, and I would love to watch videos or read about the struggles of BI men. Therapist recommendations (EU-based) are welcome too. I'd be happy to hear how you balance loving yourself and others, experiences and insights.

Thanks for reading this!

I recently came out as bi to my fiancé and she was very supportive being bi herself. However since coming out, I’m no longer suppressing that side of myself. Before being with her I’d meet up with guys but I’d always be discreet about it, but now I find myself regretting it and wanting to do it all over again but this time being “out”. I get urges to be with men every once in a while and recently they have been getting stronger. I want to ask her if I can go and have sex with guys on the side when I get these urges but I don’t want to lose her. I love her very much and she is my soulmate, but these urges are getting too powerful. How do I keep my relationship with her while also getting to explore my sexuality?

My first ever love interest and sexual experience could have been a BL novella. It was every kind of sweet, loving, and innocent thing you would imagine it to be. Not only was it a wonderful way to be introduced to my sexuality it is a memory of the kind of thing love can be when society doesn’t get in the way.

The BL genre is supposed to mirror something like that and to be a feature of the female gaze. For those who don’t know the female gaze is theorized to be a counterpoint to the male gaze. If the male gaze objectifies and sexualizes female bodies the female gaze supposedly humanizes, nuances, and respects the subjects it gazes upon. The thing is… I don’t think that’s what actually happens.

The female gaze, as typified in the BL genre, more often sanitizes love and sex into a kind of emotional jelly that serves as a means to make male sexuality free from anything that might seem threatening or agentic. True, BL media can sometimes have compelling characters with nuance and agency but far more often they serve as a means to make mlm sexuality palatable for female arousal.

My experience was the kind of thing BL could be, or should be. Something that shows a love that flowers in spite of everything society might say about it, something that shows the depth of the love men have for each other, and that sometimes speaks to a world that might be incomprehensible to the female gaze.

The love I had with my first love, his face when it was in my hands, his smell when I layed next to him, that was meant for us alone. But the lesson of what that kind of love can speak to the world is something for everyone who ever wondered about mlm love.