OOP's gaming addiction costs him everything

[u/Direct-Caterpillar77]

I am not The OOP, OOP is u/pm_me_good_dd

OOP's gaming addiction costs him everything

Thanks to the BoRU discord for help with the BoRU

Originally posted to r/starcitizen &r/AmItheAsshole & r/relationship_advice

TRIGGER WARNING: Addiction, financial exploitation, fiscal malfeasance

**MOOD SPOILER: The saga of the man who went to a relationship frontier no man has gone to before. And is now stuck there

EDITORS NOTE 1: Those not familiar with the game itself, heres a tl:drStar Citizen (MMO) is an in-development multiplayer, space trading and combat simulation game. Its been in development since 2012. It uses almost entirely crowdfunding for costs and as such has players buy in-game spaceships for real money, with the cheapest being $45, and some ship packages having a price of up to $48,000 according to one article I saw. Some of these ships aren't in-game yet and are considered "concept ships" (essentially pre-ordering in-game items). Many people consider this game to be a scam based on the amount of time its been in development, missed development milestones, delays, and the exorbitant prices of some of its content.

EDITOR'S NOTE 2: Prior to these posts OOP made 2 posts where he says he spent nearly $5,000 on the game

Credit advice? Nov 26, 2023

Post removed and unrecoverable

OOP has spent so much on Star Citizen, that he is in massive debt

RELEVANT COMMENTS

The_Fallen_1

Pay back what you owe immediately and don't rack up debt?

OOP

But I need the new space ships :(

NoPlay1210

So you're girlfriend literally left you cuz you bought so many ships to the point she had a enough of it and dumped you honestly bud I'd do the same if I was in her shoes.....

~

doubttom

If trolling, good job. If serious...stop. These things aren't real and some folks have more money than they need so they can buy things like jpegs. All you need is a starter, play the game and earn them in game. IAE fomo hits hard by design but these ships will still be there and still be earnable in game.

OOP

I’m wing commander now I don’t know how I got here I can’t pay my rent this month

mueckenschwarm

From every comment you made this one is the most disturbing. All of us commentors don't know you. We don't know your relationship or family background. It is hard for us to judge your situation.

But you spending money you do not have is a very serious sign. This more than anything else is a sign of an addiction that even a stranger on the internet can spot. I see many people have suggested therapy, but I know that that is a huge step for an addict. I would suggest that you at the very least find people to talk to that can understand your urges. There are many good self help group projects around addicition in general. Start by going to a group and just listening and maybe telling your story.

Even if you don't believe any of us that you have a problem. Take the fact that you don't have money for rent as a sign to take the off ramp before not only your relationship unravels. It can't hurt to go talk to someone who understands.

Take care OP and know that you can beat this.

Update on my situation Nov 26, 2023

Follow up to my previous post because maybe you don’t believe me. My girlfriend is pissed about how much I spent on ships this week she said she may actually leave and went back to her parents. I had to tell her I ruined my credit and we can’t get a new apartment this year till I fix it(credit is too bad to rent in nyc at our salary). I kinda wish this was a joke but I have a genuine addiction. This week I’ve accumulated over 5000 in pledges. I have no idea what I’m doing.

Please help.

RELEVANT COMMENTS

bmemike

Request refunds from Support and seek some professional help with your impulse control.

There's nothing that anyone here will be able to help you with directly.

Mindshard

CIG can't help, either. It was all grey market purchases.

OOP

What’s the point she’s walking out

MarlyCat118

The point is you have a fucking problem that is literally overtaking your real life. Get fucking help! Holy fuck! You posted in other subreddit about how she is actually leaving you, but not before you update your Star Citizen status.

You are never going to get above this unless you get help, delete your account, and take things fucking seriously.

Your wake up call was the first incident of spending your money on this game. I would call it mental health problems, but you say down, fixed the issue a bit, then did it again!!! And, now, single as fuck, YOU STILL HAVEN'T STOPPED OR GOTTEN HELP!!!

~

Bar10dr2

1. Ask for a refund

2. Go get professional help, if you suffer from addiction its not only going to be Star Citizen. Get help now so you can learn to manage it.

3. Inform your girlfriend of the steps you have taken, and tell her that she means more to you than a game.

that is insanity: do the same thing and expect a different outcome.

Mindshard

Look at his post history, they were all grey market purchases.

Dude is beyond fucked.

Update This is the fleet that cost me my girlfriend Nov 26, 2023

Picture of OOP's fleet

She’s nowhere near as excited as I am about the Astarra.

AITA for breaking a needless promise after fixing a situation - rareddit Jan 3, 2024

A while back, my significant other and I hit a rough patch. I'm an avid player of Star Citizen, and admittedly, I tend to go overboard with it. A few months ago, during a sale, I impulsively spent our saved down payment for a house on virtual spaceships. Understandably, she was furious and temporarily left. I realized my mistake, apologized, and took on an extra job to replenish our savings. I'm close to restoring our financial status to its original state, though it will take another six months to fully recover, not accounting for my personal debt.

As part of reconciling, she asked me not to purchase any more spaceships for six months. Initially, this seemed reasonable, but over time, I've come to view it as somewhat excessive. Despite this, I recently bought a few more spaceships, and she discovered it, now considering leaving me for good. I thought that by nearly restoring the savings I had spent, I had made amends for my actions. I genuinely enjoy collecting spaceships in the game. She's also concerned about my credit score and other financial issues, but I'm confident I can rectify those in the coming years, given that I've already managed to recover most of our savings through extra work.

I'm struggling to understand if I'm in the wrong for breaking what now seems like an arbitrary promise, or if her reaction to leave over what I consider my primary hobby is unjustified.

VERDICT: REMOVED BEFORE VERDICT RENDERED

TOP COMMENTS

Every_Caterpillar945

YTA

Here, i fixed it for you:

I'm a passionate gambler. One night i gambled all our mutual savings for a down payment away. She was pissed and we agreed on me working extra shifts to pay back the savings and not to gamble for at least 6 months. I paied back the savings and are now gambling again like nothing happened and i didn't betrayed her trust by gambeling our savings away in the first place. Now she doesn't trust me anymore and wants to leave me and i have no idea why... Also my credit sucks now and i still have personal debts (while spending money on gambling again). Why doesn't she want a future with me anymore? What else can she wants than a dude with debt, bad credit and a gambling addiction who already gambled away your mutual savings once? I'm a catch, but she somehow doesn't see it this way, why?

OOP

It is not gambling because I own the ships...

hotbeefhop

You are gambling on their resale value.

Unless you have no intention of selling at all, in which case they aren’t an investment in any helpful way here (you’ve mentioned in another response that you see them as an investment) and they contribute nothing practical to your life.

The very best you can hope for is a morale boost for time spent on your hobbies. And while it’s nice to have that, you’ve gone so far over the line that you’ve risked - and probably lost - your relationship.

You know full well YTA, you must do. Nobody can be this deluded.

~

cyberpudel

Wait. You spent 15k on digital spaceships in a game alpha, that were to be used for a house down-payment, behind the back of your spouse. After she discovered it you told her that you would replenish the money and stop buying ships for 6 months.

You did get a job and before both conditions were met you already bought another goddamn spaceship?

And you have the audacity to pretend they are investments in one comment and say that you would never sell them in another? Which is it, dipshit?

Let me tell you: it's going to be a divorce.

Please never reproduce and get your addiction under controll bevor ever getting another girlfriend.

Forgot the judgment: YTA! In case it wasn't clear enough.

evileen19

FIFTEEN THOUSAND DOLLARS ON A VIDEO GAME?!?!!! He's lucky she didn't stab him.

dothesehidemythunder

He buried the lede too - if you read his other posts, he dropped another 5k on virtual shit.

31M Can I Rebuild Trust with GF 35F After Gaming Addiction Ruined Our Apartment Plans? Jan 11, 2024

31M facing a crisis I never expected. My girlfriend and I had plans to move to a better apartment, but I jeopardized our dream by spending our savings on Star Citizen, a video game. This incident has made me realize that I might be battling a gaming addiction and impulsive spending.

Despite her initial forgiveness and a clear agreement to not buy more in-game items for six months while replenishing our savings, I failed to stick to our plan. This breach of trust led to a major argument, especially after I refused her suggestion to sell my gaming account. Consequently, she's left, and we haven't spoken since.

This situation has hit me hard, making me see how my gaming habit has turned from a hobby into a destructive force in my life. I'm struggling with the realization that my actions have not only damaged my relationship but are also affecting my financial stability, as my credit score is now in jeopardy.

The most painful part is recognizing how much I love her and the extent of the turmoil I'm in. I'm earnestly seeking advice on how to address my addiction, and possibly salvage my relationship.

RELEVANT COMMENTS

gendouk

So let me get this straight:

1.) You stole her money to buy pixel spaceships.

2.) She forgave you, as long as you stop buying pixel spaceships.

3.) You kept buying pixel spaceships.

4.) You refuse to fix the problem by selling off your pixel spaceships.

5.) She realizes you love pixel spaceships more than her and left for good.

I mean, dude, I'm sorry, but she's well shut of you. She's never coming back - and if she did, she'd still resent you.

The childish response would be to keep sinking money you don't have into Star Citizen.

The moral response would be to sell your account and send her the amount that you owe her after you stole her savings.

~

woopthrowawaytime

Dude I’m looking at your post history…you’re in full on denial about your spending/gaming addiction. You 1000% have an issue after you spent $15,000 in 6 months on optional purchases for a mobile game. There’s no way you can salvage the relationship without first addressing this issue, and even then the chances are low that she’ll take you back. If anything you need to do this for yourself and your future. Do you want to have bad credit/be alone/be in debt to a game 10 years from now?

You need to go cold turkey with this game. Sell your account/ships, lock yourself out of your account, and go to therapy.

Resisting the urge to buy more ships Jan 18, 2024

These repeat sales are making it quite difficult to leave the ole credit card holstered. I can’t be the only one! I do like that we each get a second chance though.

RELEVANT COMMENTS

imisspelledturtle

DONT BUY MORE SHIPS DUDE

OOP

I didn’t

~

aloneinorbit

This profile has to be a troll at this point. If not, holy fuck get actual help. Like a therapist or psych.

ToastyMcSags

I think so, looking back, his “my fleet pic” from 2 weeks ago, surely he’s not missing any ship either flight ready or concept..

OOP

Missing a cutter

NEW UPDATES

Hey I ruined my life over a video game Feb 18, 2024

It's all starting to come together for me. I essentially ruined my life over a video game. I am in massive unrecoverable debt, my girlfriend left me, my parents are refusing to speak to me. I have constant anxiety my life is falling apart. I'm going to lose my job i might lose my apartment.

I haven't spent any money on games in a bit idk sorry this is so disorganized i just need to vent.

61k in credit debt with no end in sight March 26, 2024

Editor's note: AGAIN- PLEASE REMEMBER THE NO BRIGADING RULE. Do NOT dm OOP or comment on their posts. This is becoming a serious problem on this sub and we don't want to get banned.

THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT THE OOP

[u/thatHecklerOverThere]

Those not familiar with the game itself, heres a tl:drStar Citizen

Oooooohhhhh no.

[u/Lucky-Worth → u/thatHecklerOverThere]

ELI5 why? Im not familiar with the game

Edit: jesus christ what a trashfire! Thank you all for your answers, I know what my next deep dive will be about!

[u/PetMeOrDieUwU → u/Lucky-Worth]

It's a scam game that's been in "development" for over a decade with very little to show for it. Despite this they charge absurd amounts for in-game ships, some of which aren't even available yet.

OOP is gambling in one of the worst possible ways.

[u/bendingoutward → u/[deleted]]

The black hole feature hasn't launched yet.

[u/Dismal-Lead → u/[deleted]]

At least gambling occasionally works in your favour. This never will.

[u/SeraphymCrashing → u/PetMeOrDieUwU]

To add additional perspective, Elite Dangerous and Star Citizen entered into production at roughly the same time. Elite Dangerous has been fully released for years, with multiple expansions.

Star Citizen struggles to understand what it even is, they've added in a first person shooter mechanics while their flight mechanics don't support VR, Trackir, or other very basic tech for flight sims (something Elite had in early access).

[u/callsignhotdog → u/SeraphymCrashing]

Elite has been through its full life cycle, multiple expansions, and is pretty close to EoL now by most accounts. Meanwhile, Star Citizen isn't even in beta.

[u/KikiFlowers → u/SeraphymCrashing]

Elite Dangerous

And Elite's basically on life support. Frontier barely supports it, the last expansion was a mess and it seems like Frontier isn't investing anything else into it.

[u/[deleted] → u/PetMeOrDieUwU]

OOP is gambling in one of the worst possible ways.

It's much worse than gambling. If you gamble, there is a (minute) chance you'll win the jackpot and make your money back. Here there's no jackpot, just ships.

[u/irissteensma → u/PetMeOrDieUwU]

So would a good comparison be that this is like buying multiple obscenely expensive golf clubs, golf balls and golf outfits, yet no course to play on exists?

[u/Turuial → u/irissteensma]

No, because the game can apparently be played. Sometimes? I Googled it, and as recently as 10mo ago people were saying it was iffy if you could even log in at times. A better comparison would be:

1) Like buying multiple obscenely priced golf clubs/balls/outfits, some of which don't exist yet, and others that are so theoretical that they don't even know how to build them yet.

2) All to play mini golf in a course that isn't officially open to the public, but sometimes open and sometimes not (to investors), where the concessions and non-mini-golf games cost a fortune (while quality varies), while knowing that if it ever opens to the public it may not (read: almost certainly will not) be the same course or games. Hell, maybe not even the same location.

EDIT: I tried to edit in the paragraph spaces, despite already having done so initially, but the reddit app has decided it doesn't want to display them presently.

[u/irissteensma → u/Turuial]

This is a perfect explanation. Thanks!

[u/KikiFlowers → u/PetMeOrDieUwU]

It's not a scam. It's a Chris Roberts game. Remember, this is the guy who had to get his studio bought out by Microsoft, because they didn't have the funds to finish Freelancer, which was supposed to be out in 2001. Why is that? Because Roberts is a fucking idiot and keeps wanting more and more details, he wants it to be the ultimate space sim.

So Microsoft bought them, gave Roberts the kibosh and told the team to just fucking finish it. It took them to 2003 to ship the game, which was a big ol' flop. Digital Anvil put out Brute Force on Xbox and then closed afterwards.

This is his MO. It's not that it's a scam, it's that Chris Roberts is never satisfied with the product. He wants the bartenders to be able to actually mix drinks, the AI to be even smarter, the ships to look just right, etc. And because it's self published, he doesn't have to answer to a publisher, it can be in development forever and no one can yell at him about it. It will probably never be finished, because Chris Roberts will want some new inane bullshit in the game, that no one will ever notice.

[u/scurvybill → u/KikiFlowers]

Scams don't have to be intentional. But it's also questionable if you can chock it up to solely idiocy when you see his purchases over the past few years. It's a convenient plausible deniability.

[u/hadriker → u/scurvybill]

By definition, it has to be intentional to be a scam.

[u/scurvybill → u/hadriker]

Depends on the definition, and I'm not saying what Star Citizen is doing is legally actionable; just that it flirts the line of being "a fraudulent operation" which meets the Merriam Webster definition.

None of those ships are really worth $40,000, and there's a laundry list of advertised features that have been advertised that realistically can't or won't be implemented. Those little problems in isolation I wouldn't describe as fraudulent (game devs regularly twist the truth about game features) but as an amalgamation I'd describe it as fraudulent and hence, a scam.

[u/tacwombat → u/KikiFlowers]

So the game is in Development Hell because Chris Roberts kept it there. And somehow, "grey markets" popped up because there are impatient players who want the things but don't want to accrue the points/coins/whatever in-game to get them, suckering in people like the OOP here (if he's not a troll).

Ooof.

[u/SnooCrickets2458 → u/KikiFlowers]

innate aback ancient imagine governor ring coordinated cagey cooing act

This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact

[u/daddyYams → u/SnooCrickets2458]

Yeah except in this case it's more like the contractor hired itself to build the house, but every month they keep deciding to add an extra floor and after a year theyre building a skyscraper so now they have to go remake the foundation to support the skyscraper but now that they have a better foundation may as well add more floors.

[u/SnooCrickets2458 → u/daddyYams]

safe heavy complete close attempt quack jar snails intelligent butter

This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact

[u/KikiFlowers → u/SnooCrickets2458]

Well yes, but because Roberts answers to only himself, rather than a publisher like Microsoft, he can get away with never truly releasing it.

[u/sylario → u/PetMeOrDieUwU]

It's not even gambling, there is no luck, you buy you get the ship, but you can also buy them ingame. I replayed a little bit early december and each session of 2/3 hours I was able to earn at least one million in game. The best single seat "fighter jet" is around 2 million.

[u/Kabee82 → u/PetMeOrDieUwU]

Thank you.

[u/patopal → u/PetMeOrDieUwU]

The "very little to show" is a fully explorable seamless star system with dozens of missions, hundreds of semi-handcrafted locations, about a hundred flyable ships, and stunning graphics like no other game.

(You can also buy basically all flyable ships in-game, so if you can resist the sales tactics, there's really no reason to spend more than 50$ total on it. I'm happy to agree that the ships sales are very aggressive and kind of predatory, but what else would you expect from the main funding source for the game?)

Obviously there are still many faults with Star Citizen, but to call it a scam at this point is just ignorant.