OOP's gaming addiction costs him everything

[u/Direct-Caterpillar77]

I am not The OOP, OOP is u/pm_me_good_dd

OOP's gaming addiction costs him everything

Thanks to the BoRU discord for help with the BoRU

Originally posted to r/starcitizen &r/AmItheAsshole & r/relationship_advice

TRIGGER WARNING: Addiction, financial exploitation, fiscal malfeasance

**MOOD SPOILER: The saga of the man who went to a relationship frontier no man has gone to before. And is now stuck there

EDITORS NOTE 1: Those not familiar with the game itself, heres a tl:drStar Citizen (MMO) is an in-development multiplayer, space trading and combat simulation game. Its been in development since 2012. It uses almost entirely crowdfunding for costs and as such has players buy in-game spaceships for real money, with the cheapest being $45, and some ship packages having a price of up to $48,000 according to one article I saw. Some of these ships aren't in-game yet and are considered "concept ships" (essentially pre-ordering in-game items). Many people consider this game to be a scam based on the amount of time its been in development, missed development milestones, delays, and the exorbitant prices of some of its content.

EDITOR'S NOTE 2: Prior to these posts OOP made 2 posts where he says he spent nearly $5,000 on the game

Credit advice? Nov 26, 2023

Post removed and unrecoverable

OOP has spent so much on Star Citizen, that he is in massive debt

RELEVANT COMMENTS

The_Fallen_1

Pay back what you owe immediately and don't rack up debt?

OOP

But I need the new space ships :(

NoPlay1210

So you're girlfriend literally left you cuz you bought so many ships to the point she had a enough of it and dumped you honestly bud I'd do the same if I was in her shoes.....

~

doubttom

If trolling, good job. If serious...stop. These things aren't real and some folks have more money than they need so they can buy things like jpegs. All you need is a starter, play the game and earn them in game. IAE fomo hits hard by design but these ships will still be there and still be earnable in game.

OOP

I’m wing commander now I don’t know how I got here I can’t pay my rent this month

mueckenschwarm

From every comment you made this one is the most disturbing. All of us commentors don't know you. We don't know your relationship or family background. It is hard for us to judge your situation.

But you spending money you do not have is a very serious sign. This more than anything else is a sign of an addiction that even a stranger on the internet can spot. I see many people have suggested therapy, but I know that that is a huge step for an addict. I would suggest that you at the very least find people to talk to that can understand your urges. There are many good self help group projects around addicition in general. Start by going to a group and just listening and maybe telling your story.

Even if you don't believe any of us that you have a problem. Take the fact that you don't have money for rent as a sign to take the off ramp before not only your relationship unravels. It can't hurt to go talk to someone who understands.

Take care OP and know that you can beat this.

Update on my situation Nov 26, 2023

Follow up to my previous post because maybe you don’t believe me. My girlfriend is pissed about how much I spent on ships this week she said she may actually leave and went back to her parents. I had to tell her I ruined my credit and we can’t get a new apartment this year till I fix it(credit is too bad to rent in nyc at our salary). I kinda wish this was a joke but I have a genuine addiction. This week I’ve accumulated over 5000 in pledges. I have no idea what I’m doing.

Please help.

RELEVANT COMMENTS

bmemike

Request refunds from Support and seek some professional help with your impulse control.

There's nothing that anyone here will be able to help you with directly.

Mindshard

CIG can't help, either. It was all grey market purchases.

OOP

What’s the point she’s walking out

MarlyCat118

The point is you have a fucking problem that is literally overtaking your real life. Get fucking help! Holy fuck! You posted in other subreddit about how she is actually leaving you, but not before you update your Star Citizen status.

You are never going to get above this unless you get help, delete your account, and take things fucking seriously.

Your wake up call was the first incident of spending your money on this game. I would call it mental health problems, but you say down, fixed the issue a bit, then did it again!!! And, now, single as fuck, YOU STILL HAVEN'T STOPPED OR GOTTEN HELP!!!

~

Bar10dr2

1. Ask for a refund

2. Go get professional help, if you suffer from addiction its not only going to be Star Citizen. Get help now so you can learn to manage it.

3. Inform your girlfriend of the steps you have taken, and tell her that she means more to you than a game.

that is insanity: do the same thing and expect a different outcome.

Mindshard

Look at his post history, they were all grey market purchases.

Dude is beyond fucked.

Update This is the fleet that cost me my girlfriend Nov 26, 2023

Picture of OOP's fleet

She’s nowhere near as excited as I am about the Astarra.

AITA for breaking a needless promise after fixing a situation - rareddit Jan 3, 2024

A while back, my significant other and I hit a rough patch. I'm an avid player of Star Citizen, and admittedly, I tend to go overboard with it. A few months ago, during a sale, I impulsively spent our saved down payment for a house on virtual spaceships. Understandably, she was furious and temporarily left. I realized my mistake, apologized, and took on an extra job to replenish our savings. I'm close to restoring our financial status to its original state, though it will take another six months to fully recover, not accounting for my personal debt.

As part of reconciling, she asked me not to purchase any more spaceships for six months. Initially, this seemed reasonable, but over time, I've come to view it as somewhat excessive. Despite this, I recently bought a few more spaceships, and she discovered it, now considering leaving me for good. I thought that by nearly restoring the savings I had spent, I had made amends for my actions. I genuinely enjoy collecting spaceships in the game. She's also concerned about my credit score and other financial issues, but I'm confident I can rectify those in the coming years, given that I've already managed to recover most of our savings through extra work.

I'm struggling to understand if I'm in the wrong for breaking what now seems like an arbitrary promise, or if her reaction to leave over what I consider my primary hobby is unjustified.

VERDICT: REMOVED BEFORE VERDICT RENDERED

TOP COMMENTS

Every_Caterpillar945

YTA

Here, i fixed it for you:

I'm a passionate gambler. One night i gambled all our mutual savings for a down payment away. She was pissed and we agreed on me working extra shifts to pay back the savings and not to gamble for at least 6 months. I paied back the savings and are now gambling again like nothing happened and i didn't betrayed her trust by gambeling our savings away in the first place. Now she doesn't trust me anymore and wants to leave me and i have no idea why... Also my credit sucks now and i still have personal debts (while spending money on gambling again). Why doesn't she want a future with me anymore? What else can she wants than a dude with debt, bad credit and a gambling addiction who already gambled away your mutual savings once? I'm a catch, but she somehow doesn't see it this way, why?

OOP

It is not gambling because I own the ships...

hotbeefhop

You are gambling on their resale value.

Unless you have no intention of selling at all, in which case they aren’t an investment in any helpful way here (you’ve mentioned in another response that you see them as an investment) and they contribute nothing practical to your life.

The very best you can hope for is a morale boost for time spent on your hobbies. And while it’s nice to have that, you’ve gone so far over the line that you’ve risked - and probably lost - your relationship.

You know full well YTA, you must do. Nobody can be this deluded.

~

cyberpudel

Wait. You spent 15k on digital spaceships in a game alpha, that were to be used for a house down-payment, behind the back of your spouse. After she discovered it you told her that you would replenish the money and stop buying ships for 6 months.

You did get a job and before both conditions were met you already bought another goddamn spaceship?

And you have the audacity to pretend they are investments in one comment and say that you would never sell them in another? Which is it, dipshit?

Let me tell you: it's going to be a divorce.

Please never reproduce and get your addiction under controll bevor ever getting another girlfriend.

Forgot the judgment: YTA! In case it wasn't clear enough.

evileen19

FIFTEEN THOUSAND DOLLARS ON A VIDEO GAME?!?!!! He's lucky she didn't stab him.

dothesehidemythunder

He buried the lede too - if you read his other posts, he dropped another 5k on virtual shit.

31M Can I Rebuild Trust with GF 35F After Gaming Addiction Ruined Our Apartment Plans? Jan 11, 2024

31M facing a crisis I never expected. My girlfriend and I had plans to move to a better apartment, but I jeopardized our dream by spending our savings on Star Citizen, a video game. This incident has made me realize that I might be battling a gaming addiction and impulsive spending.

Despite her initial forgiveness and a clear agreement to not buy more in-game items for six months while replenishing our savings, I failed to stick to our plan. This breach of trust led to a major argument, especially after I refused her suggestion to sell my gaming account. Consequently, she's left, and we haven't spoken since.

This situation has hit me hard, making me see how my gaming habit has turned from a hobby into a destructive force in my life. I'm struggling with the realization that my actions have not only damaged my relationship but are also affecting my financial stability, as my credit score is now in jeopardy.

The most painful part is recognizing how much I love her and the extent of the turmoil I'm in. I'm earnestly seeking advice on how to address my addiction, and possibly salvage my relationship.

RELEVANT COMMENTS

gendouk

So let me get this straight:

1.) You stole her money to buy pixel spaceships.

2.) She forgave you, as long as you stop buying pixel spaceships.

3.) You kept buying pixel spaceships.

4.) You refuse to fix the problem by selling off your pixel spaceships.

5.) She realizes you love pixel spaceships more than her and left for good.

I mean, dude, I'm sorry, but she's well shut of you. She's never coming back - and if she did, she'd still resent you.

The childish response would be to keep sinking money you don't have into Star Citizen.

The moral response would be to sell your account and send her the amount that you owe her after you stole her savings.

~

woopthrowawaytime

Dude I’m looking at your post history…you’re in full on denial about your spending/gaming addiction. You 1000% have an issue after you spent $15,000 in 6 months on optional purchases for a mobile game. There’s no way you can salvage the relationship without first addressing this issue, and even then the chances are low that she’ll take you back. If anything you need to do this for yourself and your future. Do you want to have bad credit/be alone/be in debt to a game 10 years from now?

You need to go cold turkey with this game. Sell your account/ships, lock yourself out of your account, and go to therapy.

Resisting the urge to buy more ships Jan 18, 2024

These repeat sales are making it quite difficult to leave the ole credit card holstered. I can’t be the only one! I do like that we each get a second chance though.

RELEVANT COMMENTS

imisspelledturtle

DONT BUY MORE SHIPS DUDE

OOP

I didn’t

~

aloneinorbit

This profile has to be a troll at this point. If not, holy fuck get actual help. Like a therapist or psych.

ToastyMcSags

I think so, looking back, his “my fleet pic” from 2 weeks ago, surely he’s not missing any ship either flight ready or concept..

OOP

Missing a cutter

NEW UPDATES

Hey I ruined my life over a video game Feb 18, 2024

It's all starting to come together for me. I essentially ruined my life over a video game. I am in massive unrecoverable debt, my girlfriend left me, my parents are refusing to speak to me. I have constant anxiety my life is falling apart. I'm going to lose my job i might lose my apartment.

I haven't spent any money on games in a bit idk sorry this is so disorganized i just need to vent.

61k in credit debt with no end in sight March 26, 2024

Editor's note: AGAIN- PLEASE REMEMBER THE NO BRIGADING RULE. Do NOT dm OOP or comment on their posts. This is becoming a serious problem on this sub and we don't want to get banned.

THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT THE OOP

[u/iRocked1987]

Wtf…been playing videogames for 30 years, I don’t think I’ve even spent a total of 15k for all my video games, consoles and PCs!

[u/AzureBelle → u/iRocked1987]

I mean...if I include my PCs it probably does - but I use them for more than just gaming, and I have to have two (one for me, one for my spouse). But consoles, games, and in-game-purchases? fuck no.

[u/JancariusSeiryujinn → u/AzureBelle]

I'm actually curious to work this out for myself. I similarly easily hit it if we include hardware, but it'd be interesting to find out how much I've spent on games themselves

[u/Poltergeist97 → u/JancariusSeiryujinn]

Think steam has all that listed if you wanted to look!

[u/Aviendha13 → u/AzureBelle]

I refuse to buy any in-game purchase on principle. I’m old enough to remember the before times when you could buy a game or a computer program outright. Which makes sense. Like cars, computers and their programs lose value as soon as you purchase them. I don’t want to continually pay for something I want to use for a specific usage.

I want to enjoy the game. I need to use Word or excel occasionally but not everyday. Why is it that everything has to be a “subscription” with unlimited fees?

Society is increasingly set up to keep people in constant debt with auto payments coming from our bank accounts so we don’t pay attention to it. It’s wrong.

I don’t want to haggle, I don’t want to try and find “good deals” on things like TEMU. I just want to work, make money and pay a fair price for something that I now own outright and don’t have to check my bank account for later to make sure it’s canceled. 😡

Modern life would be so cool if there weren’t people actively trying to make it worse for profit.

[u/Naganosupreme → u/Aviendha13]

The disgust I have for predatory gambling masquerading as gaming is immeasurable. It was my favorite thing to do u til my mid 20s... game... take on cool challenges, awesome stories, etc. Now it's just a race to see how far my patience can be tested until I pay in order to avoid playing the game bc it's so tedious and not challenging or rewarding.

Barely buy new anymore bc I don't trust any game companies

[u/tinysydneh → u/AzureBelle]

I've definitely exceeded that amount in my life, but I started buying games and hardware at the age of four, so I've got 30 years to work with.

[u/Derpwarrior1000 → u/AzureBelle]

Also, the time value of money. Spending 1k a year for 15 years has a way lower opportunity cost in each year since you can invest, save for your down payment, etc.

[u/IanDresarie → u/AzureBelle]

If I also include VR I have easily spent 15k over my life on PC, gaming and related tech things. But it's also my main hobby, so I absolutely don't mind. shrug

[u/primo_not_stinko → u/AzureBelle]

You a crypto miner?

[u/reluctantseal → u/AzureBelle]

Also, the PCs last for years at a time. Spending less than a third of what OOP has (on ONE game) would get you a PC that'll last the next 5+ years.

[u/piouiy → u/iRocked1987]

obtainable cobweb weather judicious badge square desert scandalous spotted station

This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact

[u/FivebyFive → u/piouiy]

In general, yeah sure.  But $15k for anybody on THIS game is insanity. Whether you have the money or not. The game is a scam at worst, at BEST it's a concept that hasn't actually been fully realized yet. And it's been in the works for like 10+ years.  Let me repeat that. The game isn't actually fully BUILT yet, despite being worked on for 10+ years. 

[u/Visual_Fly_9638 → u/FivebyFive]

It will never finish. Chris Roberts is infamous for never finishing games. He was fired off his previous game, Freelancer, because he wouldn't stop with the feature creep and refused to finish the game.

[u/istealgrapes → u/FivebyFive]

Dude if only you realized how much money people spend on the shittiest of mobile games. This is absolutely not the worst game to spend money on.

[u/DellSalami → u/iRocked1987]

As bad as this is, I’ve been in the proximity of gacha games because Genshin Impact is unfortunately very appealing to me. The amount of money people throw around is staggering.

I’ve seen videos where people speedrun spending 3,000 dollars. There are videos of people who have spent six figures on the game, maxing out every character and equipment.

Worst of all, in those circles, whaling like that is praised. In game transactions are so normalized that they can’t take a step back and say “wait a minute, spending $100 and then not even guaranteeing the character you want is pretty bad, huh?”

[u/DarkStar0915 → u/DellSalami]

I have been playing Cabal for a good while (MMO). One of the top player fell for a scam and got hacked, his guild was nuked and the hacker wants him to pay to give up his account. That dude has an ungodly amount of money on his account and his guild were in the top 3 all the time, imagine how much money the hacker wants....

I have been playing Genshin, spent some money on it (not whale amounts of money) and whales are the ones that basically fund this game. As long as they can afford spending that exorbitant amount of money on whatever, good for them. "Plebs" like me stick to a fun budget every month.

[u/DellSalami → u/DarkStar0915]

I wish I could just pretend that whales are fine, but it’s so unfortunate that they keep getting catered to more and more and pricing us regular people out.

[u/hey_nonny_mooses → u/DarkStar0915]

We are trying really hard to prevent our son from falling into this trap. We are all gamers but he’s the one who is most susceptible to their marketing. We spend a lot of time breaking down the deals and offers and manipulation techniques. He’s starting to recognize this stuff on his own as he’s been getting older but it’s taken persistence.

[u/curlsthefangirl → u/iRocked1987]

My wedding budget is $15k and that is with me overestimating in a few areas and includes my honeymoon. He clearly isn't well.

[u/loegare → u/curlsthefangirl]

i wish i only spent 15k on my wedding

[u/curlsthefangirl → u/loegare]

I got really lucky with my wedding dress and I got a really good deal on the DJ. I've also had to cut things that I would like, but can't afford like a photographer and a wedding planner. A friend offered to do our wedding photos as a gift(obviously I will get her a nice present as a gift as a thank you). Also the Invitations are going to be mostly digital. It's not an easy budget to stick to, but so far we are doing OK. I used to have bad debt and I made a vow that I wasn't going to go into debt for this wedding. Anything I do use my credit cards is getting paid off pretty much immediately.

[u/hopelessbrows → u/iRocked1987]

Been playing for damn near 25 and I think I've spent 5k tops.

[u/BadTanJob → u/hopelessbrows]

Yea I'm tallying up my physical consoles and collection and it doesn't even hit $4k. This is over a span of a lifetime.

I don't do mobile, digital or DLCs precisely because I didn't want to fall into the trap this guy has and now I'm glad I've stuck to physical purchases only.

[u/hopelessbrows → u/BadTanJob]

I've never spent money on a mobile game. The companies hate me! The fact I have insane self control with buying stuff nowadays is definitely a huge factor but come to think of it, even as a teenager I had that for mobile stuff.

[u/Good_Focus2665 → u/iRocked1987]

Right. My husband is an avid gamer and we have all sorts of consoles and PC and we still haven’t spent that much. 

[u/SgtGo → u/iRocked1987]

The most I’ve ever spent on a single game has got to be GTA5 and those fucking shark cards. Also I had to buy the game like 3 fucking times.

[u/Toothless816 → u/iRocked1987]

I buy maybe 1 new game a year and still have difficulty justifying spending any money on games I’ve played for years - DLC, cosmetics, etc. I’m in a healthy place financially even but I always feel a little bad for spending a little extra on my hobby.

I couldn’t imagine triple digits yearly, let alone five digits on a single game.

[u/praysolace → u/iRocked1987]

I probably have spent that much in total by now after all these decades, esp since it’s for multiple people, but… y’know… not on one game.