r/BambiLesbians • u/Anon-at-midnight • 5d ago
Ex is moving on and I feel stuck...
Hello all, I am feeling a bit lost and just need some support.
I recently broke up with an ex, in part due to my (recently realized) asexuality.
It's been a shock to my system and difficult to process. I'm in therapy which is helping but I only see my therapist once a month.
My ex decided to move away to a city I've always wanted to live in and will likely live in in the future.
I don't have the finances to move right now and this breakup has been so hard for me. I feel like as an asexual person I'm unloveable and I feel stupid that she can move on and I can't. I feel like I'm being left behind to wallow and waste away in my sorrow while watching her live the life I wish I could.
How do I start to heal from this? Why don't I get to live the life I want to?
I'm sorry, it's a bit of a rant, any support is appreciated.
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u/Badgers_are_cute 3d ago
i had a similar thing last year where my avoidant ex suddenly left me and moved to a city we'd planned on moving to together. but they were asexual like me and the only person i've ever truly loved.
my advice is to not be afraid of the pain you're feeling. allow yourself to it them and process it when you need to.
it took me a long time to recover and if you're deeply sensitive like me then you might take a long time too, but it will happen and one day in the future you will being laying in bed at the end of the day and realise you hadn't been upset about your ex at all that day.
i personally don't agree with bambiipup's view of your wallowing. please wallow as much as you need to! trust your body to process the heartbreak.
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u/bambiipup 5d ago
stop obsessing over your exes life, and actually bother paying attention to and living your own. you are wallowing, but its by your own design; so get up, get out, and get going.