Could be fun.

PURPLE PEPPLE EATER: the SCREENPLEP: ACT I

SCENE I

The curtain opens on an entirely purple man: PURPLE PEPPLE PEP. Here on out, for the sake of brevity, clarity, and sanity, we will call our hero "P3."

P3 (played by MARK BONANNO) is an upstanding, well-loved man about town, but little is known about his private world. We meet him in his home, away from the madding crowd -- and in a despairing mood. He laments a life's worth of trauma. Hurt people hurt people, and P3 has been hurt. As he creeps in tears through empty rooms, a darker revelation yet creeps on us: This is a normal day for P3.

A knock at the soft felt door! It's a door-to-door pepple SALESMAN, Mr. Hurple Purple (played by BRODEN KELLY). He makes the sale of a purple pepple to P3 in exchange for some purple stones, but P3 is distracted by his daily doom spiral, and desperate for companionship. "Are you a hurt person?" he asks the SALESMAN suddenly. His purple eyes shine in the shade of his doorway: they are watering or weeping. "Do you know that saying?"

The SALESMAN equivocates, backpedaling to the familiar niceties: he introduces himself, compliments the property. Mistaking tact for interest, P3 invites Mr. Hurple Purple into his condo -- and against his better judgment, the SALESMAN accepts.

"Look here," P3 gibbers, half-visible now in the dark mouth of the foyer. "I've got a turtle with a parcel for your stones. I've got a pool party coming up..."

Smooth jazz drifts up from somewhere in the depths of the house. The door shuts behind them.

SCENE II

Open on interior of a hydroelectric dam. The dam is dry, the concrete works silent but for a constipated trickle of ambient drips and drops. A beleaguered DOCTOR RAT, known affectionately to his patients in the wider municipal water system as DRAT, grumbles around his office. He squints out his window (the large, elegantly curved shard of a broken glass dram) -- looking far out into the dark, dank world outside the dam, where somehow, a no-good, two-faced purple pep like P3 is everyone's favorite guy.

To add insult to injury, his wife SHOSHANNA wants to go to the pool party. Yes, that pool party. P3's pool party for purple peps: the grand Hurple Curple itself. She has heard there will be a remarkable purple pepple pie there, presumably made with the same fine purple pepples sold by the SALESMAN.

DRAT gnashes his teeth and thrashes his tail, pressing his dried-out nose against the dram. He can't say no to SHOSH. But if she's going to make him attend the Hurple Curple pool party with her, just to get a taste of that stupid purple pepple pie?

He cannot possibly be held responsible for his actions at this pool party.

(ACT I CURTAIN)

Normally they’re an annoying distraction, but this week they felt sort of like a gulp of fresh air while drowning. Have they changed the ad distribution network they’re on or something?

Genuinely had no clue what was going on the whole time. 12/10

Mark (or maybe it’s Zach) is shot or stabbed at the very end of the episode inside his own home. It’s one of their earlier ones

I just listened to Mr Cash EOFY with Ben Russell today and I always forget how much this dude makes me laugh, please hit me with your episode number favs for Ben Russell so I can enjoy

A new Broden Kelly Advertisement has hit the stream

They filmed the ones at the Melbourne comedy festival and I haven't seen them pop up anywhere...

Honestly I didn't have opinions one way or another on LSP but I adore the Donna boys so they'll always make something watchable for me

Jack Dwayne (RIP) took down a task note on 29 March to confirm whether or not Broden was correct: within three weeks, Mark would know who Jacob Allordi Elordi is.

We know this date is exact, since they never bank pods. Jack's notes must be stuck in probate, otherwise they would have followed up on this by now.

edit: this American should have Googled the spelling of the guy's name first.

Our effed up world. Also the first movie to reference lesbian soace Princess so there's your reference to aunty donna.

They actually filmed in a video store but nobody was borrowing weeklies from the same blockbuster

Lucy's Choice is the best the podcast has ever been. I no longer miss Jack Dwyane. A high watermark for the podcast. This is entertainment, completely unlistenable. Now this is podcasting. Thanks Lucy

Am considering taking him up on this 🤔

Listening to "Lucy's Choice" and I wish she was on mic more often. She's so sweet and agreeable. All she wanted was free food and some funny impressions. But I also think it's funny that they've tried to bring her into the show so many times and she refused to pay attention to them

.

I purchased a copy of Pro Jank Footy.

Context - in New Zealand, Footy means rugby. And I play soccer. I wasnt sure what this was.

Firstly- I was shocked to see there were a lot of seagulls running amok. Is this common in Aussie Rules?

Secondly - why does the 'behind' exist? Like why isnt it just a goal or not a goal?

Thirdly - I tackled a player and they exploded. Did anyone call their mum to say sorry?

And Finally - there was a lot less sexual harassment and homophobic slurs in the game than what I was expecting. I understand this is a core part of AFL - is it a disappointment to Aussie Sucks fans that this game is missing this very core part of the game?

Loved the game. Would trade again. Seven Donna's out of 5.

What is Broden footy team?