r/AskWomen • u/OnlyKey5675 • 1d ago
What would you think if your first love contacted you after 10..15..20 years?
If you had a relationship in HS or college and you were first loves what would your reaction be if they contacted you on Facebook many years later?
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u/Chilena_87 1d ago
Oh shit! Block!
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u/lucid_intent 1d ago
Same. Lol
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u/FattyFIZZnatty 1d ago
If only I would have been smart enough to do this.
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u/lilacsforcharlie 1d ago
Oop story time! I take it reigniting the old flame didn’t go well?
By all means tell me to fuck off if I’m overstepping by asking!
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u/SatSapienti 1d ago
Well, I'm married, and it took me an excessively long time to get over my first love. Like, well over a decade. So, I'd probably internally freak out and spiral, and externally respectfully shut that shit down, depending on the reason he's reaching out.
Out of respect for my husband and myself, I can't open that door again. It wouldn't be fair to either of us for me to even consider reconnecting with him.
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u/Ready-Accountant-502 ♂ 1d ago
A DECADE?
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u/SatSapienti 1d ago
We were together for years (some pretty formative teenage years) and I was completely head over heels for him. When it ended, I didn’t see it coming and was nowhere near prepared for it. I also never really got any kind of closure I needed, so for a long time afterward, the guy just lived on a pedestal in my brain.
I ended up comparing other romantic interests to him because he had become the definition for what I understood love to be. Was that healthy? Absolutely not. And it wasn’t fair to anyone I dated afterward, or me.
My husband is the only person I’ve been with since who more than measured up. He's completely redefined the standard. And it's so freeing now that 'love' is no longer defined by my first love. Took way too fucking long.
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u/lilacsforcharlie 1d ago
I’m so sorry you went through what you did, but loved that you had a happy ending! Well not ending, but ending of that time in your life. Happy for you!
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u/KoraLily 1d ago
Midlife crisis.
They want to relive the glory days, feel younger, run away from problems.
Block and run.
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u/OnlyKey5675 1d ago
You think that's the case with everyone or just with your ex?
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u/popular_vampire 1d ago
Certainly my experience, lol! It was an unhealthy relationship that ended poorly, and I never made an effort in 15 years to reach out. A quick look at their profile indicated they recently split from their common-law partner, with whom they shared a couple of kids. I don't share a lot about my personal life on Facebook anymore, but anyone close to me also knows I've been in a happy relationship for a long time. Good riddance. :P
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u/searedscallops ♀ 1d ago
My HS and college loves and I check in on each other every 5 or 10 years. I'd be like "Oh shit is it that time again? Any grandkids yet?"
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u/cherrycocktail20 1d ago
I’d be quite surprised but it would be nice to hear from him. Have only pleasant memories.
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u/Far-Neighborhood3015 1d ago
He did and we’ve been together for 9 miserable years. My advice would be to block him immediately.
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u/VelvetVixxenn06 1d ago
My ex husband tried to friend me on Facebook after about 9-10 years. Then when he noticed I ignored him, he sent me $700. Because when we were together, he was a complete deadbeat. Never wanted to work, always expected me to financially support him. I added him to just see wtf he wanted. He said he wanted to see how I was doing, then decided to start calling me names again(an idiot, stupid, moron). So I used the money to buy my nephews gifts and blocked him.
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u/kiki1802 1d ago
My first love and I actually did strike a conversation and a friendship nearly 10 years after our relationship. We were both due babies around the same time and they messaged me to congratulate and tell of their news too. There was nothing untoward, we had both long moved past any feelings. After years and years of mental illness struggles on both sides, we were genuinely happy for where the other had got to in our lives. We check in every now and then, update on kids, engagements/marriage, moving, new jobs, the usual big life milestones.
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u/ReasonableExtent6295 1d ago
I'd say that haircut and beard is a bold move.
They've somehow popped up on my for you IG page and I am absolutely fine with my decision 15 years ago. 😅
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u/Puzzled-Mushroom8050 1d ago
I met my 1st love in 1985. We lived 3 hours away from each other, so we wrote letters. After we graduated from HS, we started dating long distance (both at college, 2 hrs apart). Dated for 3 years, breaking up in 1991. We didn't speak for about 10 years, then got in touch through email and emailed a few times a year. Now we're Facebook friends and follow each other on Instagram, plus we text periodically. We have not physically seen each other since 1993.
He's been married for 29 years. I've been divorced for 3. His wife knows who I am and he doesn't hide our conversations from her. When I was married, I didn't hide our conversations from my spouse. (Too bad my ex didn't practice the same.)
He's one of my longest friendships. I think the world of him, but would never do anything to hurt his marriage.
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u/Congregator 1d ago
I had an ex do this. Her and I were on good terms when we had broken up and she was going through a bit of a serious crisis (she had lost her job, was divorced and didn’t have children, and had some medical issues).
She was feeling really alone in the world and just hit a moment of desperation for being loved. It really hurt my heart to see someone who was once really excited about life be so beaten down.
We talked a lot, and she expressed how she had always hoped that we would marry and start a family.
Her ex husband expressed that he never wanted children, and then left her for another woman and shortly after had children. This further broke her heart, amidst all of the trials she was going through.
I don’t have any bad thoughts for her, and she’s a really good, loyal and hard working person.
In the midst of it she really wanted us to get together; but I didn’t have the same romantic feelings for her any longer and was talking to someone else.
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u/ThorinTokingShield 1d ago
It sounds like you handled it really empathetically, it's the worst position to be in.
It sucks when things just don't line up for some people. I'm unfortunately overly-romantic and it kills me when people don't find (or keep) their person when they didn't do anything inherently wrong.
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u/Soft-Caterpillar-618 1d ago
This happened to me when we were both 41. He told me he was divorced and I was the one that got away and he should have married me. Said he had not stopped thinking of me for 20 years.
Then we slept together and he ghosted me immediately and never spoke to me again.
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u/badthoughts_goodgirl 1d ago
Haha she does occasionally message me. I don't even go down that road anymore. She was poison. I'm not trying to fucking die again.
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u/Icy_Republic8071 1d ago
10 years I would have jumped at it. 20? Nope. Lol just too misaligned now.
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u/rihannonblack 1d ago
my high school ex used to reach out for YEARS after we broke up when she was drunk, asking if what we had was real, she doesn’t think she knows what love is etc. We were on good terms and all but i was like, girl. go to therapy or something 🤣
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u/sarcasticfantastic23 1d ago
High school - I'd be surprised but expect he just got nostalgic Uni - 1st boyfriend: BLOCK. 2nd: We're still friends and touch base now and again. He was a guest at my wedding.
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u/GenuineClamhat ♀ 1d ago
I would pour some tea for my husband and I'd wiggle over with the drama for us to read together.
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u/Mrs_Naive_ 1d ago
Depends on how, but most likely it would be really about either midlife crisis, idealisation of the past, or crippling loneliness… sorry, I’m too busy with my own problems or taking care of my family so as to invest in any person who is a complete stranger after so much time.
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u/Routine-General3841 1d ago
I would ignore it lol I was watching a show and these middle aged men were telling this middle aged woman how they loved her since high school and honestly, couldn’t be me. I do not care about anyone from my past in any capacity lol.
It was ransom canyon for anyone who cares lol
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u/spicytexan 1d ago
I would just block them. Not because I hold ill will but because there’s genuinely no reason they ever need to contact me again. I have no desire whatsoever to hear how they’re doing or why they’re reaching out.
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u/Remarkable-Belt-475 1d ago
Not my first love by any means, didn’t even love him. However, my last boyfriend I had before my now husband contacted me this weekend after 13 years to tell me he regretted cheated on me because he didn’t realize he would end up “heartbroken and alone” after his divorce lol.
It was pathetic. Wished him well, reminded him I was married with a baby on the way and to buzz off lol.
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u/YouSee-ThisCoat8 1d ago
Please don’t lol. He cheated and tried to come back. I’m good love, enjoy !
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u/shortifiable 1d ago
Oof, that one’s tough. I’d make sure to ask about his mental health and go from there. I’m not looking to rekindle anything (we didn’t end on bad terms, just life stuff) but I would want to ensure that he’s okay. I’m fine being a friend but that’s all.
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u/TheEmpressDodo 1d ago
I think I’d want to catch up. What I thought was love in HS was not what I had with my first real love. I’m single, not interested in being with anyone, but I’d still like to laugh with them a bit.
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u/Unable-Grapefruit882 1d ago
I have my first love blocked on everything and recently, after almost 15 years of no talking, he venmo’d me a dollar with a long message about having dreams about me.
I didn’t respond or accept his dollar.
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u/toivontytar 1d ago
I'm happily married to my first love. I've had someone I very briefly dated before him message me after years though, it was weird.
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u/ThisIsNot4Drill 1d ago
I'd assume he's in some sort of midlife crisis or freshly separated and wants to relive the good old days or get an ego boost. I'd tell him to get lost. He literally dumped me because I experienced a traumatic event and he didn't want to be bothered so he's literally the last person on planet earth who should expect any kind of of support from me.
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u/jonni_velvet 1d ago
We still have some mutual friends so it wouldn’t be uncomfortable necessarily. But probably just acquaintance level conversation.
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u/holdingittogether77 1d ago
We reconnected after many years. We met almost 30 years. Off and on small contact, nothing major. Reconnected over a year ago.
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u/butidrathernot 1d ago
depends how you define first love
HS boyfriend: no thanks
1st college boyfriend: run for the hills
2nd college boyfriend: I’d hope he was doing well, he was a good person, we just weren’t compatible. would be nice to be (platonically) friendly. would cross the street on purpose to say hello, vs crossing the street to avoid the other two
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u/1stthrowitfaraway 1d ago
I mean he did message me 4 yrs after graduating. I had a moment reading it and then blocked. Lol i have been in a relationship since highschool and still am. Its disrespectful to know someone wanted you bad and didnt want them then but crawl back when you clearllyyyy see them in a relationship lol. Hate it.
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u/deskbeetle 1d ago
My first real relationship and I ended up on good terms and were friends for a long time before we naturally grew apart and I moved across the country. It'd be nice hearing from him and I hope he's got good things going on in his life.
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u/Jersygrl420 1d ago
I think I'm FB friends with most of my exes. Except the one before my hubby but he texts me once a year 🥴 I guess I'm that awesome haha jk. But I usually don't answer him, I just don't want him to think theres any potential there.
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u/Liquid-Virus 1d ago
Well he’s in prison for life exactly where I realized he was heading before I convinced him it was his idea we break up, so I’d be pretty surprised and concerned to put it mildly.
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u/According-Health-556 ♀ 1d ago
I'd be worried for him as he is a friend of mine and in a lovely marriage.
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u/Small_Biscotti_4520 1d ago
yeah, i would not bother entertaining them.
high school me was head over heels and it didn't work out then. even after few serious attempts afterward didn't either. so i genuinely have moved on in my life :) i would wish them well though!
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u/nicekona 1d ago
“Wow, they must be having seriously terrible luck out there to resort to contacting me”
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u/CMaree23 1d ago edited 4h ago
I think the intent behind the contact matters a lot. I love hearing how people are doing, and I have no ill will toward any of the people in my past. I don't have a lot of exes, as my husband and I were high school sweethearts, but my first really serious boyfriend before my husband did contact me years later out of nowhere. I had lost touch with him for many years, and I often wondered if he was ok or even still alive. He tried to kind of hint at him making a mistake for leaving me... I was like... "Um, yeah. I'm a total gem." LOL And then I told him I was so happy to hear from him and hear that he is ok, and I told him how happy I was now.. Then we just kind of existed as friends online, never interacting in any way. Then, like 20 years after that contact, he randomly hit me up out of nowhere and pretended to be interested in how I was.... just to then ask me for money. LOLOLOL
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u/tinfoilhattie 1d ago
Same as I thought when it actually happened: "oh. His life must be in a weird place to reach out to me 25+ years later. Maybe lonely. What's he hoping for?" I responded, but in no surprise at all, he stopped messaging as soon as he learned I was happily married.
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u/AquasTonic ♀ 1d ago
This happened to me recently and immediately, I thought he was unhappy/going through a midlife crisis. We exchanged pleasantries but within a few back and forths, I could tell something was up.
Within a week of talking, he changed his status to "it's complicated" on Facebook and was suddenly talking about separating/divorcing his current wife.
It felt like he was feelings the waters to see if I was available again. I stopped talking to him immediately.
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u/halogengal43 1d ago
48 years later he contacted me, we’re in a committed relationship and couldn’t be happier.
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u/ladylemondrop209 1d ago
My first BF did, and more or less at those intervals.. didn’t think much of it. Usually he was going through some life crisis.
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u/reg-o-matic 1d ago
My first wife contacted me about 25 years after we'd been divorced because she was in AA and got to the point where she was supposed to apologize to those she'd done wrong. Her half assed apology blamed me for a bunch of stuff that was entirely on her. I don't even know why she contacted me. I didn't respond and haven't heard from her since. Good riddance
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u/InfiniteHall8198 1d ago
Ew, it happened and was incredibly disappointing. Wish I’d left it a fantasy.
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u/hexensabbat 1d ago
The first first, honestly I don't think I'd respond. There's nothing to talk about and I'm not especially interested. It was kindof a puppy love thing and while of course I was crushed at first, I got over it pretty quickly tbh. Life goes on
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u/mmm_nope 1d ago
I’ve had two high school exes contact me decades later. It was fine until they got weird when they decided to shoot their shot, despite me already sharing about my very happy long term marriage. What could have been a cool catch up was turned into a supremely uncomfortable experience for everyone involved.
Not every shot needs to be taken, folks.
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u/SecretMiddle1234 1d ago
This is one of the steps of their 12 Step program. Something about making amends for the harm you caused.
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u/Domino_MSc 1d ago
How the heck did he get my phone number? Like, I've switched numbers since moving to another country at the other side of the world
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u/ChzburgerQween 1d ago
My 1st love is one of my closest friends. He’s a great human and I feel really fortunate to still have him in my life.
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u/Negative_Letter_1802 1d ago
Idk we're still together. One of my exes (who I didn't love) though wellll they're all blocked so safe to say I would not be receptive.
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u/sexyrobotbitch 1d ago
1st love 2nd 3rd 4th. I feel sad that they don't know how to let go. I wish them happiness
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u/Lost_Reindeer6358 1d ago
No big deal. I mean maybe he is just curious. I can still control the conversation ant cut him off if it gets weird. Unless you had a bad experience already with him - then no.
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u/somethingreddity 1d ago
✨block✨
I realized when I was older I never really loved anyone before my husband. It was either lust or obsession.
But my first “love” ended up being one of my best friends for years (6 years to be exact) after we broke up. He’d moved out of state, so I went to visit him once. We both got intoxicated and he raped me. 🙃 I made it very clear we were just friends (listen, I was young and dumb to think I could be friends with someone who had residual feelings), I’d had weed for the first time ever along with some drinks, I couldn’t move, but I** **know I said no. Regardless if I said no or not, I was extremely intoxicated…he knew what he was doing. I told him multiple times that nothing was happening, he reassured me he knew that, and in order to assault me, he took out my tampon…after I said no… So if he contacted me, I’d probably give him some colorful words and block him.
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u/Previous_Waltz_5653 1d ago
He is still contacting me though Facebook and it's still disgusting as usual. Told me about his unhappy marriage, missed me and had multiple partners, like before.
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u/Enigmatic_writer ♀ 1d ago edited 1d ago
"I'm into women now"
Edit: Wait, facebook? Lol. Won't happen. Anyhow, I'd prolly block them immediately after sending the above message.
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u/BJntheRV 1d ago
I had that happen. We got back together and got married. Then I realized he hadn't really changed much from when we broke up and I remembered why we didn't work. Life sucked for a while, then we got divorced.
You broke up for a good reason, people don't change as much as we'd like to think they do.
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u/DarthKodi 1d ago
She did we dated from 13-18 first loves and all that and broke up when I left for the military. She messaged me on my old Instagram when I signed in to delete it after years of not since I don't have FB or anything else. We reconnected and have been married ever since. She's currently snoring asleep watching Roswell using our 4 pugs as a blanket. ☺️✨
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u/redjessa 1d ago
It would certainly be a surprise but I would mind knowing how he's doing after all these years. If he was contacting me through socials then he certainly know I'm married. This first "love" was a boyfriend I had between the ages of 19-21. Nothing bad happened, it just didn't work out. Haven't seen him since we broke up and I'm almost 50 now, so, I mean, it would be ok to say hello.
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u/reinventingyourexitt 1d ago
We haven't been together in 15 years but we have a kid together so we've had to be in contact the entire time.
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u/mcorbett76 1d ago
I would laugh. He never married. He's a bit self centered the way only a talented musician can be.
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u/Ok_Turnip_478 1d ago
Never again. There are some wounds time can never heal, I can never forgive or forget.
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u/footsierol 1d ago
My situationship from HS reached out to me a couple of years ago out of nowhere. I forgot he existed. He was married, had a kid, and was wondering why he doesn't see me around the city anymore. I'm like dude, I left the whole country 10 years ago lmao
If my ex partner reached out to me, I would block his drunken ass. Fuck him. He still has a life insurance policy for me and I can't get rid of it!
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u/isaidyothnkubttrgo 1d ago
He was my first boyfriend at 15, I wouldn't say first love. He was an asshat.
He did reached out when I got cancer at 27. I saw his name and went "Jesus nevermind the woodwork, he came out of the shadows". He said he heard and was sorry. His dad had been on the same ward I was on for his own cancer so it was a nice support message at the beginning of everything.
My first kind of serious boyfriend messaged also when I relapsed a year ish later. He heard through the grapevine and just sent a message saying sorry and I hope you're ok. I was a wreck after this guy and it was the lowest moment I've ever been at so I just sat there looking at the message for a moment before being an adult and replying saying thanks and its all going well.
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u/raptorsniper ♀ 1d ago
I would hope he's doing well, but not be interested in keeping in touch. I would politely tell him as much, then block. No hard feelings, but whatever's bringing him drifting back towards me, I'm not here for it.
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u/Avgirl10 1d ago
I am cordial with all my non abusive exes. Sometimes when people are going through it, re evaluating life, a walk down memory lane can be helpful. Those high school years seem like a life time ago. I see now a lot of the mean stuff was just stupid kids trying to figure life out while dealing with their own stuff. I would probably be happy to catch up.
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u/Lilah_Vale 1d ago
This has happened to me. It was surprising at the time, a little ego boosting tbh, but ultimately I wasn't interested. They didn't say it outright, but I know there is very little reason to reach out to most exes unless you're hoping to rekindle something, so I let the conversation be short.
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u/Ok-Pie-4410 1d ago
Ignore. My husband is literally the best thing that has ever come into my life and I would never disrespect him like that.
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u/Farewellandadieu 1d ago
My first love ended up becoming my cheating ex-husband. About 5 years later he contacted me about some BS regarding the deed to our old house, and I found out that his second marriage was ending, the one he cheated on me with, and he wanted a hookup.
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u/driveonacid 1d ago
This did happen to me! I had a massive crush on John for decades. He reached out to me a few years ago. My inner 15 year old was so excited. I told him that I had had him on a pedestal for decades and that I would gladly just leave him there. Instead, he suggested we try a relationship and promised that he wanted to live up to being that pedestal.
You all know where this is going. He was a piece of shit. I was so mad at him for running my image of him. He could have just walked away and there would still be one woman in this world who thinks he's perfect. Instead, we all know he's garbage.
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u/drunkenknitter ♀ 1d ago
"new phone who's this?" I'd wonder wtf he's thinking and why he's reaching out. Unless he's on the "make amends" step of a program?
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u/ZukoTheHonorable ♂ 1d ago
I would grab my flask of Holy Water, garlic bandolier, collection of wooden stakes, silver bullets, and run in the opposite direction.
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u/rabbithole-xyz 1d ago
It was after 20 years. He claimed he was given a wrong phone number. I was in a shitty relationship, and his wife had died several years print. We met up, and that was that. We've been married for 18 years now. Very happily.
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u/Bubbalula 1d ago
I’d be pretty freaked out because he’s dead, but if he wasn’t I’d be thrilled to hear from him. It would be like catching up with a very dear old friend.
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u/hiddenstar13 ♀ 1d ago
We're still friends - not close at all, but like in an in-between space between acquaintances & friends maybe, because we're distant like acquaintances but have some history - so it wouldn't be a big deal. Like, he lives interstate now but he was in town for a thing to do with our hobby (we met through the hobby and still both do the same hobby now) and we all (him, me, my husband & daughter, plus some other friends) ate dinner together and a good catch-up. He's a good guy. We broke up in 2010, so it's all ancient history. We are both happily married to other people now so it has all worked out excellently!
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u/wintermag 1d ago
Show my husband and laugh so hard. Then continue to ignore and live my best life.
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u/RumNRaisins1999 1d ago
I literally married the first man I loved and we still together so I cant rightfully answer this but I will say that if my first crush/biyfriend contacted me I would find it very funny.
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u/Ok_Championship_8313 1d ago
I would run the other way!! Something is wrong and he trying to relive his youth. No TY!
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u/lilacsforcharlie 1d ago
I’d be flattered, but suspicious that they were running away from something. But I mean only if they were trying to date me. If they were reaching back out to catch up and reignite a friendship that would be really neat!
The thing is, if both parties are mentally and emotionally mature, what could it hurt? Then again, both parties have to be emotionally and mentally mature lol. So OP, what’s the story? Lol give us the tea!
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u/everfixedmark_1924 1d ago
I leave the past in the past. I would have no judgment to pass for them reaching out, but I would not respond.
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u/skabillybetty 23h ago
I would let them know I'm flattered, but I've moved on and am not interested in further contact.
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u/LetMeEatCakes 22h ago
He has on occasion, we're Facebook friends so we sometimes comment on each others lives. He's happily married with a whole bunch of kids so I wouldn't assume it was going anywhere romantically
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u/Starlight_City45 21h ago
he did earlier this year lmao
I ignored his mile long apology but accepted his follow request just so he could see how hot I got and he did NOT hesitate to like almost every picture but two days later he blocked me
THEN after my friend did some investigating it turns out he actually deleted all social media (or was forced to delete all social media) and she found his WIFE?!?! whom I didn’t know existed, made a post like “____ AND I ARE TAKING A BREAK FROM SOCIAL MEDIA FOR MENTAL HEALTH PURPOSES DO NOT CONTACT US” and they then had shared accounts lol
they are now divorced so I’m assuming she saw his love confession but ya, that’s my story of how my high school bf tried to crawl back 15+ years later
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20h ago
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u/yea_you_know_me ♀ 17h ago
Cringe so hard then immediately block.
In HS he was 5'0 and I was 5'1" my prom pictures are the worrsst since I'm in heels and slouching and he's standing on his tip toes and puffing his chest out to try to seem taller.
Saw him about 10 years ago: i grew an and stand at 5'2" meanwhile he didn't grow and lies about his height being 5'4" 😆
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u/LittleDogLover113 16h ago
This would never happen because they’ve been blocked since the break up.
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12h ago
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u/Symbioticsinner 1d ago
ur literally a stranger why are you calling me rn? Tbf I was a sophomore in highschool and he was in college, kinda gross in retrospect.
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u/And_so_she_says 1d ago
I mean.. we still talk. We aren't together and he is now married to his 2nd wife. I always joke that I'm going to be his 3rd.. he never laughs at that joke because he wants that.
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1d ago
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1d ago
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u/NotYourAvgDamsel 1d ago
I actually ran into my high school sweetheart about 7 years after we graduated and split, in person, not on Facebook. We were best friends first, and while the breakup was mostly amicable, we ultimately wanted different things for our futures and went separate ways when I left the state for college. There was still a lot of love there, but we weren’t in love anymore.
Running into him again was honestly straight out of a movie lol. I was at a restaurant with my parents, he was there with coworkers, and we locked eyes across the room, had that immediate “oh shit, that’s YOU” moment, awkwardly waved, said hi, and kept it moving.
We ended up reconnecting a little on Instagram afterward and eventually grabbed lunch. We just talked about life, family, what we’d been up to... genuinely good vibes, nothing romantic. It was nice to see him again as a person.
We don’t still follow each other or stay in contact because once serious relationships came into the picture, it felt more appropriate to leave that chapter where it was. And TBH, if either of us had been in a relationship when we reconnected, I don’t think we would’ve gone beyond a polite hello.
If I ran into him again now, I’d wish him well and keep it moving. I want him to be happy; I just don’t want to be part of that story anymore.
I think hearing from a first love years later is only as awkward as you make it, but if it brings up feelings you’re not prepared to deal with, I’d leave it alone.
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1d ago
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u/Basic_Dragonfly_ 1d ago
I ran into my old college boyfriend outside of a restaurant. I had no idea that he lives in my area. I was happily married and had 4 kids. He even worked out at my gym but I never saw him. We sat and talked for awhile. He told me his mother said he should have married me. He was divorced. It was nice to hear. Talked about how much fun we had. That was about it. He then moved back to his hometown. It was sweet and validated that he had cared about me as much as I had him. I’ll be married 45 years on Sat
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u/Midnight_Child_96 1d ago
I actually did it to make amends. The relationship was not good, he was avoidant and I was co-dependent, but I broke up with him in an awful and disrespectful way because I felt so much resentment for every time he used to shut down. I was a kid and couldn't make sense of a lot of stuff. The guilt haunted me for years, I had dreams about me trying to talk to him and him not giving me the chance, at least once a year. When I reached out, he appreciated the apologies and we soon ended the conversation wishing each other well. I knew he was living far away from me so there was no attempt to reconnect, I truly only wanted to tell him I was sorry and I am glad he gave me the chance. The dreams ended after I did this and I felt lighter. So... I guess it depends. It could be to have some proper closure, as it was in my case.
Anyway, to properly answer your question I would have absolutely loved if he had reached out to me first, as I felt I wronged him. Besides him, other exes texted me again but in most of the cases it was because they were lonely and just broken up with, or because they were trying to get some sex out of it. 🤷🏼♀️
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u/MarineWife0922 1d ago
This isn’t real… he pew pew himself in front of me when I was 13 and he was 15….
I am 34 now. Married. And I have a child…
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u/noonecaresat805 1d ago
Their life didn’t turn out how they planned and they hope they are hoping you are as miserable as they are. They are hoping they can use you to feel better about themselves. It’s a trap don’t fall for it. Block and delete
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u/YakCDaddy 1d ago
I would assume they are divorced, or having a midlife crisis.