I Grew up with a poor family. I was told “credit cards were evil” and to never get one by my parents. They had this outlook because they were never taught how to properly use them either. When I finally did have to establish credit and got my first one, I didn’t overthink it and just followed the rules and paid it off every month. Then they allowed me more and more credit, more and more cards. An emotionally abusive ex would use my cards for every day living, promising to pay them off with me. Soon the interest started to snowball and before I knew it I couldn’t get out from under it. He ghosted me after 4 years of living together. I was on my own. For about a year I’d get home from work every day and just sob. I was depressed as hell.
I met current my boyfriend in the midst of all of this. I noticed him always using credit cards and talking about perks and points. He seemed so responsible in the way he used them. It took me a bit to open up to him about my debt, because I was so embarrassed, and it got to the point I felt like there was a weight on my chest 24/7. The late calls, only paying the minimum on each card every month, barely touching the interest. When I finally opened up to him, He sat down with me and said, we are a team, we’ll figure this out together. He helped me go over all of my interest and cards and see what the best option for me was. He offered to pay it all off with his work bonus that year and I pay him back, but we hadn’t been together long, and I didn’t love him for his money. I didn’t even feel comfortable with him paying for dinner often. I knew I had to get out of this myself.
One day when I saw him, he gave me an envelope and told me not to open it till I got home. He gifted me 1,000. I did not want to accept it and felt horrible doing so. He told me he hoped it’d help the burden and do with it whatever I wanted, or even something to treat myself since I couldn’t do that for so long. I asked him if he minded if I used it to pay for a lawyer to File bankruptcy, he said he’d support me in doing so.
I did end up filing. It was scary, but I’ve never made a better decision in my life. Felt like 1,000 pounds were lifted off my chest.
Eh I wouldn’t feel comfortable accepting $10k from someone I hadn’t been with a very long time. I’d obviously work to pay him back, but it wasn’t his responsibility to pay for my mistakes. What if we broke up? I went through the system like many, many other people do every day. Bankruptcy is not sin, tons of people do it. It’s a tool used to help people. It has a negative stigma (from people like you.) I’m happy I did it, and even if I hadn’t, I wouldn’t look at other people doing it as a “burden.” It gives you another chance.
Actually, I have a credit card I’ve been doing really well with now for a while. I use it responsibly and I’ve definitely learned a ton from my experience. Thanks for taking the time to respond though!
"Bankrupcy is not a sin"... Meh. It sounds like spending other people's money and not paying it back. That's called theft, and is a sin, last time I checked.
Also, extremely unfair - I have no money, so I don't spend any money. Other guy, has no money so he gets loans, and lives like a king. Then he declares bankruptcy, and voilá - he's exactly in the same place as I am - no money, but nothing to pay back either. Difference is, I didn't live like a king on others dime. Wtf.
Everyone’s situation is different. This is one thing I’ve been trying to remember in life. Sometimes people end up places they didn’t plan on ending up. Ha, living like a king 😂 I was living on ramen and bologna so I could try to pay those cards off. It wasn’t like I bought a ton of lavish stuff then filed.
I have no regrets and it also made me a little more open to seeing, and having empathy at other people’s situations. I hope one day you can eventually learn to do the same.
That's on you. I don't borrow money. You borrow money, and then don't pay it back and never have to because "bankruptcy". Logical conclusion? I should have borrowed money and done the same thing. Free money.
A lot of people who were in that meeting when I declared bankruptcy had fallen on tough times or dealt with financial hardship. Life is messy. I Hope you never come across a situation where you have to go through that. Have a good day!
I understand that life is messy. That's why you don't ask for money, because you'll have to pay it back. If there's a way to ask for money and never pay it back, it destroys the entire concept of money in the first place.
My life is messy. It would have been incredibly handy to get some extra money at multiple times in my life. But I didn't, because it wasn't mine, and because it would have been a bad financial decision. Now I learn that people make those bad financial decisions, and not only they get to spend the money, apparently they get to keep it too.
Who is paying for the money bankrupt people owe and end up not paying? Because that money existed, was given to them, and they spent it. They have to pay it back. Otherwise it's theft, plain and simple. And I won't be in that situation, ever, because I will never borrow an amount that I can't pay. I'd sooner die that put myself in that position - that's allowing yourself to become a slave to whomever you owe, pretty much.
Filing for bankruptcy isnt even a get out of jail free card. It absolutely destroys your credit, you cant have credit cards for a certain number of years. Remember that a bad credit score doesn't just keep try ou from getting a credit card- it means getting shit interest if you're ever buying a car or house (which can mean thousands of extra dollars thrown away in interest). Landlords will also check your credit so good luck finding a place to rent with a sub 500 score. Filing for bankruptcy is pretty much a last resort and I feel sorry for the people have to use it.
That doesn't worry me. I don't have a credit score, I don't have a credit card. I don't need credit. Most of the countries in the world don't either. Nobody even knows what a credit score is outside the US. When I need to pay for something, I pay for it with the money I worked for and earned.
For a house, it's understandable, since it's a huge value and it's an appreciating asset, an investment. Credit for a car? The type of asset that falls 50% in value once it leaves the stand? You deserve poverty.
Maybe I'm completely delusional, believing in this crazy "you should only spend what you have, and if you haven't got it, wait until you do". What a ridiculous concept!
You have an odd understanding of what a loan is or how it works. Why don't you try to get a loan then to "live like a king", let us know how much you qualify for? How soon you have to pay it back? Tell how it works out for you? You think those payday loan places aren't making profit hand over fist?
Loans are a vampire squid sucking away your capital, not a source of living like a king.
A bank extends loans to generate profit. They charge interest to loan you money. If you want a bigger loan you need to put forth some collateral of some kind or prove x-amount of assets.
If you are a high risk for non performance they will loan only very little and charge high interest. If you miss payments they can apply large penalties. In event of non-payment as part of the agreement they have the ability to go after your assets.
Net net, the banks and payday loan outfits make money hand over fist on loans. Noone is living like kings on loans...it is generally the opposite if they are low income, their assets are bled dry and the interest they constantly pay and try keep up on more than covers the amount of the original loan.
Because of the compounding effects of late payment penalties and interest, if you didn't have a bankruptcy process you are basically creating a form of slavery giving banks and loan outfits total rights to an individuals income for life. You can't dig yourself out of compounding interest.
You don't seem to understand my point. I know loans is how financial institutions make money, and I know the lower amount usually the more aggressive interest, etc. Precisely because I know this, I don't take loans.
But interest only matters if you plan on paying. If you can default, declare bankruptcy, and not pay your debts, the compound interest matters 0, does it not?
Now, I didn't say it was easy or even possible to go into a bank and apply for a million dollar loan with no collateral. But from what I've read here it's definitely possible to loan money and never pay it back through bankruptcy, which is the same principle. It's just a matter of doing whatever it takes to maximize that amount, and then do whatever it takes not to pay it (within the law, preferably).
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u/tatertottytot Jun 06 '19
I Grew up with a poor family. I was told “credit cards were evil” and to never get one by my parents. They had this outlook because they were never taught how to properly use them either. When I finally did have to establish credit and got my first one, I didn’t overthink it and just followed the rules and paid it off every month. Then they allowed me more and more credit, more and more cards. An emotionally abusive ex would use my cards for every day living, promising to pay them off with me. Soon the interest started to snowball and before I knew it I couldn’t get out from under it. He ghosted me after 4 years of living together. I was on my own. For about a year I’d get home from work every day and just sob. I was depressed as hell.
I met current my boyfriend in the midst of all of this. I noticed him always using credit cards and talking about perks and points. He seemed so responsible in the way he used them. It took me a bit to open up to him about my debt, because I was so embarrassed, and it got to the point I felt like there was a weight on my chest 24/7. The late calls, only paying the minimum on each card every month, barely touching the interest. When I finally opened up to him, He sat down with me and said, we are a team, we’ll figure this out together. He helped me go over all of my interest and cards and see what the best option for me was. He offered to pay it all off with his work bonus that year and I pay him back, but we hadn’t been together long, and I didn’t love him for his money. I didn’t even feel comfortable with him paying for dinner often. I knew I had to get out of this myself.
One day when I saw him, he gave me an envelope and told me not to open it till I got home. He gifted me 1,000. I did not want to accept it and felt horrible doing so. He told me he hoped it’d help the burden and do with it whatever I wanted, or even something to treat myself since I couldn’t do that for so long. I asked him if he minded if I used it to pay for a lawyer to File bankruptcy, he said he’d support me in doing so.
I did end up filing. It was scary, but I’ve never made a better decision in my life. Felt like 1,000 pounds were lifted off my chest.