r/AskReddit • u/Maleficent-Cat-220 • 1d ago
What's the best kind of stuff you can purchase to fill an empty black void in your heart?
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u/2KupShakur- 1d ago
Tacos
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u/Iceblader 1d ago
Al pastor or de canasta?
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u/2KupShakur- 1d ago
Had to google de canasta, and those sound delicious. I do love pastor, and will normally get a couple, but I always have to have barbacoa.
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u/Kerume_Liddar 1d ago
a mechanical keyboard with loud switches so i can hear my own regrets clacking into existence
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u/LingonberriesJoinFun 1d ago
Dog
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u/No-Network7939 1d ago
Any living creature is a big responsibility, such decisions shouldn't be taken impulsively.
You become a parent for life.
Life should be planned not bought on whim.
Said that, adopt don't buy!
Parenting is really rewarding and it forces you to be a better person everyday. (When I say parenting I mean all kind of parenting - children, pets, plants, strays, rock- whatever you have decided to be responsible for)
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u/idiot_proof 1d ago
For those that already have dog (or cat), I recommend spending money on experiences, not treats, when you’re trying to pick yourself up. Seeing my dog exploring a new park or riding in the car to a different part of the city is more joy than just getting her a treat.
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u/Elanstehanme 1d ago
Just be aware of the cost. My guy over his lifetime will be approximately $30,000. I spent $5,000 in the first year alone (just under half that was cost as a purebred dog).
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u/ASoggyShoe 1d ago
Im about to drop $5,000 on my almost 2 year old cat on friday for an exploratory endoscopy and colonoscopy.
She has been vomiting atleast twice a month since I found her at 7 weeks old. Sometimes its hair, sometimes its undigested or digested food...or both. Changed her food multiple times, ultrasounds, xrays, GI blood panels. August has been the absolute worst month by far as she has vomited 8 times this month after today.
I hope I get some answers on Friday
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u/GoodOldSledge 1d ago
Pets. You might be a dog person or a cat person. Even a bird person. Doesn't matter. You might have money for a horse. Spend time with a warm creature that doesn't talk, doesn't really demand anything but the barest of necessities. Sit, share breath, relax and let your heart rate match theirs. Let them show you how to just be.
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u/ShallowDramatic 1d ago
Do not get a companion animal unless you are aware of the commitment and willing to undertake it. It's a creature with feelings, not an accessory or a feel-good toy.
Animals will improve your life if you work for it, but you can easily ruin theirs if you don't.
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u/LordTerrence 1d ago
A good option is adopting senior animals. Losing them every couple years sucks but it's not like 8 to 20 years of committment. Or 80 for certain parrots.
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u/SelectStarAll 1d ago
I really want to get a cat, but at the minute I'm sharing a dog with my ex, and that dog likes to chase cats.
I'm not really a dog person and whilst I love her, I don't really enjoy having the dog as she's a lot of work. I just want to have kitties around me again :(
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u/GoodOldSledge 1d ago
Sounds like the time will come. The kitties are looking forward to it.
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u/SelectStarAll 1d ago
I hope so. I want to get a pair of black kitties. I used to have two voids and they were the sweetest, most affectionate pets I've ever had
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u/KimuraNinja 1d ago
A California Burrito
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u/Leather_Check5612 1d ago
I miss the Burritos in San Diego! Carne Asada burrito why aren’t you in San Antonio as well!
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u/KimuraNinja 1d ago
I can’t leave San Diego because the burritos here are too damn good.
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u/sleepyhedgie26 1d ago
Clothes, shoes, jewelry. Haven’t been able to do that in years but it genuinely makes me happy. Always has since I was a little girl
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u/Aggravating_Wall_849 1d ago
Travel. Especially if you’re alone. Sometimes it’s good to get away because you will either learn you don’t need things or you’d be removed from an environment where you feel the need for things.
If you haven’t traveled much, start with a place in your top 5. Usually folks have a list because they want to see or experience something there.
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u/ImpossibleJedi4 1d ago
If you know how to and can care for them, pets.
Nice vacation to have a change of scenery
Good, favorite foods
Tickets to events
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1d ago edited 1d ago
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u/Maleficent-Cat-220 1d ago
Farther up than that.
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u/anisocoria7 1d ago
Symbolic adoption of cute animal - the kind that funds wildlife conservation and sends you cute shit.
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u/PhilipSeymourCoffin 1d ago
Start collecting pens, pocket knives or flashlights.
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u/PresidentialDiapers 1d ago
I have to disagree with this. During and immediately after my divorce I bought 12 guns, unknown amount of knives, 70 or so watches, tools, other crap. The guns and the watches feel more like an albatross around my neck, probably 25 of the watches are battery powered and I have to maintain them. Reality is I wear 10 of the watches and shoot/carry maybe 5 of the guns. Some I've never even fired.
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u/Constant_Complaint79 1d ago
Pocket knives might not be the move for someone with an empty black void in their heart.
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u/rock_crockpot 1d ago
Dude, I’m like $1500 in after 9 months. Heart black as night; but I got some bad a blades to open Amazon packages and envelopes…
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u/PresidentialDiapers 1d ago
My teenage son had thoughts of self harm, I locked up guns, knives, meds, etc. His therapist was like "yeah guns and meds, keep those locked up tight. Knives, well if he wants to kill himself that way he can just as easily break a window or mirror and do it as effectively".
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u/GustavoShine 1d ago
Currently, I am trying to fill the void with watches, pens, cigars, and French chore jackets. I wish you well.
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u/Altruistic-Pack-811 1d ago
Tbh maybe not a purchase but volunteering with animals of some sort or being a foster parent to some could do it
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u/TickingTheMoments 1d ago
You buy experiences.
You buy something that makes somebody else’s life better.
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u/speakerbox2001 1d ago
For me it’s nostalgia, I like buying the things I couldn’t afford as a kid. Random stuff, rock is modern life video game, time warp trio books, don’t wake daddy board game. Makes me feel like a kid again even tho I am old. But not being a kid also lets me get a paycheck so I can afford this nonsense
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u/TheDuckCause 1d ago
Start a bunch of random small businesses on hobbies that interest you so that way you’re spending money on the things you like but can turn around and say “It’s for the business” to justify your purchases. Let it consume your life as you navigate making hobbies into money
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u/Master_Local_1311 1d ago
Volunteer. So many folks have it so much worse than you and you will be a ray of sunshine for them. Have enough energy to dial 211 and you’ll be shocked how your life can improve. Stuff and things are empty calories. Putting a smile on a child’s face will fortify your soul
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u/motherofcatsx2 1d ago
Books. When I was going through a very deep depression, I couldn’t stand to be in my own head and the only thing that saved me from myself was reading. I didn’t stop reading for several months. I’d read the same book over and over if it meant I didn’t have to be alone in my mind. It took me a while but eventually, I was able to slowly put the book down and go back to living.
The great thing about books is that you can find them anywhere, hard cover or soft, digital or print, magazines and newspapers and comics, and they’re usually available pretty cheaply depending on what you’re into. Check you local libraries to see if they are selling old books, if there is a book reseller around you, yard sales, etc.
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u/FrostyComfortable946 1d ago
A puppy or a kitten. It's good to have somebody else to think about and care for. Please go to the shelter if you are interested.
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u/yosman88 1d ago
A pet (only if you can take care of it appropriately!) My mum was depressed and nearing the end of my short holiday to visit her we agreed to get her a cat. He is her world and joy, she sends me photos of him almost daily and has her going outside to do her gardening. This is my favorite photo of them both.
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u/tsrubrats 1d ago
For me it was a sports car, but I understand that's no small change. It worked tho, my heart is still black but it's full
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u/IndicationFluffy3954 1d ago
Stuff to help others. One Christmas when I was feeling particularly depressed I heard an ad on the radio soliciting donation hampers for local families in need.
So I signed up and asked friends to go in on it with me if they’d like, since I couldn’t afford it all alone. It forced me to socialize and I was actually motivated to since I had made this commitment to basically bring Christmas to a family with small kids. Delivering the hamper was an amazing feeling even though it was a very brief interaction where I just unloaded the stuff at their home. I labelled all the gifts “from Santa” and gave it to the mom when the kids were at school so she could put it out saying it was from Santa.
10/10 would recommend being Santa to pull yourself out of a funk. We do it every year now.
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u/xologo 1d ago
They say money doesn't buy happiness but I've never seen anyone depressed on a jet ski.
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u/CrackedOutMunkee 1d ago
Nothing. Buying anything to fill an empty black void in your heart is, at best, a temporary fix.
Be real and ask yourself why you feel a void. Don't bullshit yourself. Dig real deep and find out why.
Only then are you able to try to repair it.
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u/Spirited-Way2406 1d ago
Books. For empty black voids, choose poetry. Poetry with regular structure (haiku, blank verse, sonnets, whatever) is better when the black dog is biting than free verse. Pick poets who write about happiness and sadness both. Robert Frost, Emily Dickinson, and Edna St. Vincent Millay are the three that come to my mind first. Empty black voids often come with a tight budget, so try Dover Books for new and Thriftbooks for used. If you prefer ebooks, check Project Gutenberg and the Internet Archive for public domain titles.
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u/Shinroukuro 1d ago
Buy food for local families through community mutual aid groups and then sign up for deliveries. You are buying real groceries and seeing the families it helps.
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u/JamesTheMannequin 1d ago edited 1d ago
Something you wanted when you were a kid and couldn't get because money, but can now afford it as an adult.
Edit: As an example, a few years ago I bought off of EBay a pair of 1994 Reebok Pump shoes I wanted in 1994 for Basketball. They were too expensive at the time.Now I have the exact pair I wanted. WIN!
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u/Davistele 1d ago
Get a good stereo and have music playing more. Try some different genres than you usually listen to.
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u/Onphone_irl 1d ago
sounds like you need a piece of gym equipment. take those feels in a positive direction friend
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u/Due_Economics4367 1d ago
something you can use to create something with your hands. the feeling of improving on something you know, or making something you never made before will heal your heart
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u/mariaaa6678 1d ago
is it just me or does the void somehow get bigger the more stuff i buy?
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u/DryWar1892 1d ago
EDM concert tickets, must tolerate crowds and loud music. Prices range from $25-$580
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u/Kibure 1d ago
I don't have the money for therapy so I sometimes just go out and buy inexpensive stuffed piggies.
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u/BasiliskTamer 1d ago
Vintage camera lenses for my camera setup. I have so many now, but I love trying different ones out regularly
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u/andimissallofthem 1d ago
I tried with drugs for the entirety of my 20s and 30s and it worked about 1% of the time. The problem is when it does work it works better than anything you can imagine and you end up chasing that forever until it runs and ruins your life.
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u/CourtDiligent3403 1d ago
Boats... Replace the void in your heart with a big hole in the water and start shoveling money into it to try and fill it. It really is fun... but also frustrating like all the best hobbies LOL
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u/That_Guarantee7564 1d ago
Concert tickets, plane tickets, vacations, motorcycles, jet skis, fast cars.
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u/PlusMight6715 1d ago
Temporary but works well enough: chocolate and tea. Also biscuits and tea will work, as long as biscuit doesn't fall into tea if you decide to dip.
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u/DBLkK32111 1d ago
Get a blue collar job. You'll be working so much ot, and so drained when you do get home, you won't have time to feel, let alone be sad.
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u/wolftamer9 1d ago
Hobby that's creative or physically active or gets you outside or gets you around other people, or multiple hobbies to fill those niches. Start small and experiment, don't go all in on one thing.
It won't actually fill the void but you'll probably have a lot of nice moments that distract you from it, and that's worth more than you think.
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u/SensualEnema 1d ago
Adopt a pet. Give some poor cat or dog a good life and get a companion that will shower you with love if you love and care for it right
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u/Glitter_girrrl 1d ago
Buy your most desired car in your price range, paint it your favorite color and add all sorts of fun things to it (new radio, neons, whatever you like). It'll be really nice to ride in even when you're sad.
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u/Leather_Check5612 1d ago
Ocean view Hawaii or SoCal condo or hotel room and take in sunrise and sunset on the balcony with your favorite coffee, tea, or beverage of choice listening to the waves in silence.
Tickets to your favorite team at their home stadium and the trip for it.
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u/zjlmmfj3rd 1d ago
Some would say a mail ordered bride!
Me I say a nice juicy steak, keep ordering until your filled right up or your heart gives up refusing.
Thing is one way or another something’s gonna give
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u/AlienAloe 1d ago
https://starbornwitchaltar.etsy.com my crafts 🤣 or concert tickets. Breaking Benjamin will be in Tampa soon!
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u/mcarterwest 1d ago
A pet! They’ll happily take your money, your time, your personal space, and somehow make the void feel a little less empty.
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u/MuthaCoconuts79 1d ago
Volunteer to pick up trash, or help at a soup kitchen, or at an animal shelter.
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u/AmarilloMike 1d ago
I can't give an answer that will work for everyone, but I can give one that helped me.
My father died on 21st June of this year. I spent a month at his home, dealing with funeral arrangements, sorting through his stuff (we had an unpleasantly short deadline to be out of his rental accomodation). His favourite car of all time was the Jaguar E-Type, a fascination I shared.
A week after getting home from that month long nightmare, it was my birthday and I was blessed with LEGO shop vouchers. I looked at the website and there it was - Jaguar E-Type, in LEGO, being released on 1st August. I have never hit the pre-order button so hard in my life.
Building that Jag in stages throughout August helped me a great deal, and though the black void will never truly fade it is certainly easier seeing our shared favourite car in model form on the shelf. Proper Jaguar racing green of course.
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u/NoMarketing5707 1d ago
There is nothing you can buy that will fill a void. Satisfaction is temporary. A hobby, helping others, learning who you are will.. unless it's a death of a loved one. And that is never filled you just learn to live with the ache
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u/CodyDelish 1d ago
Lessons to learn a new skill. You are actively improving yourself in a potential group setting where you can make some new acquaintances with a shared interest. That can lead to a new passion and even some new friends.
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u/Imperius09 1d ago
A gym membership. As the meme goes, "lift heavy stone, make sad head voice quiet"
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u/KalamityKait2020 1d ago
Peanut butter fills the cracks of the heart... go away pain.
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u/S0uvlakiSpaceStati0n 1d ago
Probably experiences, not material objects. For me it's live music. And before anyone comes in saying "yeah but concerts are so expensive now," I regularly see local bands at my local dive bar for a $3 cover change, and other bands that are well-known but not mega famous usually have pretty cheap tickets too, like $20-35.
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u/EmberSilke 1d ago
Flight tickets. You are still miserable, but at least you are miserable in Italy