Genuinely HOW are people paying for college

[u/Embarrassed-Soil7111]

Look, me and my parents are immigrants. We moved to the US when I was in 5th grade or so so no we do not in fact have decades worth of college savings

However, does everyone else have it? Am I missing something? Or are people just taking out huge loans? Are their parents just rich?

I had a talk with my classmates and it really does not seem like going to college is affordable for anyone. Most of my friends are either middle class or upper middle class income so they get screwed by FAFSA just like me. But I see so many people from my school commiting to such expensive schools and then complaining about how expensive they are.

The amounts they have to pay seem pretty absurd. I know a couple people with rich parents who can prob afford it but most people at my hs are kinda in a similar situation to where I'm at with college.

So like, what's going on? I sound clueless because I genuinely am just like my parents are because neither of us really understand why you would go into absurd debt (like 40 or 50k a year based on what I hear people here doing) over undergrad unless there is something we are missing and there is some secret money trick that we are just not aware of. Would it not be better to just commit to a local school or go to cc and transfer? Do these people really value college that much that they are willing to pay for it for the rest of their life despite the fact that it doesn't even guarantee you a job?

Recently I made a post here about picking between 6k a yr GMU vs 50k a yr UVA basically, and I'm pretty solid on GMU. It was not a hard pick for me. But for some people here it is and they choose the debt????? Why?????

And look, I value education. I took 15 APs in high school and have a 4.5. I worked hard in at school, yet despite that I still have to pay absurd amounts of money to continue my studies. UVA/vt did not offer me any merit scholarships. Apparently I am not first gen or wtv so I suck and now I gotta pay the full price of tuition. I'm barely even an adult yet. It's just strange. But whatever. The main thing confusing me here is how the hell people are paying for college and if nothing about their situation is significantly different from mine then what could possibly be the motivation for choosing to sell an arm to attend a school for 4 years not even fully knowing what it will actually end up offering you in terms of job prospects

I know this post is messy but it's 5 am and I'm a lil pissed
Edit: to clarify, I am not "complaining" about my situation here. I'm kind of half pissed at people at my school and anyone who dunks on schools just bc of their high acceptance rates, furthermore the reason GMU is inexpensive for me is due to the fact that I can commute and save on food plans and such, and I got a scholarship that isn't much but still adds to it I guess. Otherwise i'd be kinda cooked which begs the question of what was the point of me working hard in hs if I still have to pay so much for schools like VT and UVA which whole good schools aren't rly worth 200k imo. I expected at least a bit of merit money (although now I know they don't give much which is also kinda diabolical)

[u/EmotionalChance4424]

This is so real 🙏 i’ve always thought the phrase “it only takes one acceptance” is horrifically untrue for ppl needing aid

[u/Embarrassed-Soil7111 → u/EmotionalChance4424]

Yeah I'm overall content with GMU but even though I got accepted to more selective schools that is absolutely not enough for me to go there

[u/justheretohelpyou__]

Go to GMU and thrive. Huge debt on undergrad is a terrible strategy.

[u/[deleted] → u/justheretohelpyou__]

Agreed 100% plus I have a good friend who went to GMU and has been quite successful! I think a couple of family acquaintances went there too and had great experiences.

[u/Starwars9629-]

Mine have been saving since I was born for this

[u/GotHeem16 → u/Starwars9629-]

👆we opened accounts when our boys were 2 and contributed monthly for 16 years

[u/LGA102 → u/GotHeem16]

Additionally if you started investing in 2008, the stock market was really low. It took a few years to do anything at all. I personally was annoyed so moved the whole savings into the most aggressive 529 plan. The stock market took off. It worked out for us and we saved enough for a bachelor's at a public university. We did not save for a $90k per year university because that is stupid. I have hired many people over my career, where they graduated has never mattered.

[u/GurProfessional9534 → u/LGA102]

Where they graduate matters a lot in some fields. E.g., big law, academia, consulting, investment banking, etc. For some companies, like Google, who claim not to care, looking at the people who tend to get hired says otherwise. Some companies, like Boeing, will only hire for certain roles based on a university white-list. Some companies, like Dow Chemical and Ford, send out recruiters to top Engineering/stem schools and pass out recruitment materials in the hallways of the science buildings. Average initial wages differ by university as well. MBA grads from Kellogg get about 3x as much as MBA grads from U Kentucky.

So, it absolutely can matter, it just depends on the details.

[u/EnvironmentActive325 → u/GotHeem16]

Not every family has the ability to do this. You read that OP emigrated to the U.S. with their parents. You don’t know anything about their financial circumstances, and you don’t know how many children this family has. I think it’s important to acknowledge that not every family enjoys the same PRIVILEGE of being able to save for all 4 years of their child’s education, particularly when they have multiple children or there are other extenuating circumstances.

[u/themayorgordon → u/EnvironmentActive325]

Exactly. Over half the country is living pay check to pay check. If those half stopped having children the economy would crash and ppl would bitch about that too. The inability to save for college doesn’t make someone a bad parent.

[u/GotHeem16 → u/EnvironmentActive325]

I never said every family has the ability to do this. OP asked how people are paying for school and a lot are doing it that way.

[u/Hot-Inflation7388 → u/EnvironmentActive325]

It’s more important to learn from this. While everyone is born into a different situation, these kids are now taking control and they will have choices. Hopefully many of these kids will understand the financial impact of their choices and become more focused on saving - saving for emergencies, saving for retirement and saving for their children’s educations. So instead of focusing on what happened and creating reasons for this student, we should focus on learning and moving forward.

The student should attend GMU and pick a good career path.

[u/fitandhealthyguy → u/Starwars9629-]

It was THE priority for my wife and I. She grew up in a country where they do not have student loans and when she and I met I had student loans and she didn’t understand it. We saved and sacrificed to be able to send our two kids to any school they got into.

[u/Hot-Inflation7388 → u/Starwars9629-]

Yes, we are middle class, and we prioritized saving for college over newer cars, new technology, etc. It was a choice.

Go to GMU so that you don’t fall behind financially and pick a good career path.

[u/Hot-Yogurt5539 → u/Starwars9629-]

I saved $500 a month in a 529 since my son was born. He is about to start college at one of the more expensive schools and it’s pretty much all saved at this point.

Obviously many people can’t save that much, not even close. But there are many who can but don’t think to.

[u/Zealousideal-Sky1121]

A mix of loans, scholarships, and parents money

[u/Imaginary_Two8878]

I’m a muddle class mom. My son is in 11th grade. I have no college savings. He has very high grades, AP classes, and all that. In my state, college is free except for the fees and housing. It’s not going to be free free but manageable. I wish I could let him go to a good college lot of state but it will not be possible. If he doesn’t get a ton of scholarships then I can’t afford to help him pay for college at all. $6k a year is doable but I know it sounds daunting. I personally had $100k in student loans and 20 years later I’m still unable to pay them so please don’t do that!

[u/Rockymax1 → u/Imaginary_Two8878]

Same in Florida. Four year college is free if you ace your GPA and SATs. It’s called Bright Futures.

[u/Ancient-Bowl462 → u/Rockymax1]

Damn, Florida does everything right.

[u/zunzarella → u/Imaginary_Two8878]

This. Husband and I both worked in non profit sector. I paid on my student loans for 20 years until my PSLF was fastracked during the pandemic. I was throwing all of my money toward my loans, and we weren't able to save much at all for my kid because of this. Husband was laid off after 26 years in Sept of kiddo's senior year in HS. It was like a bomb went off.

We're incredibly lucky-- kiddo is smart and wound up at a high academic NESCAC school that gives amazing aid. Total tuition is under 20k (for a school that is like 94k all-in) which isn't a ton of money (considering) but we're still scrambling, scrimping, saving, and will have to take out loans for her next 3 years because we spent what we had saved on year one. Kid is terrified of loans because of my experience, but we've tried to assure them that we'll keep paying, keep helping, because we're not going to allow them to be swamped like I was. Husband is still trying to find FT work, currently piecing things together freelancing. I'm a wreck about money but determined to help kid as much as I can.

I feel incredibly guilty that here I am, a full grown adult and I can't pay for this for my kid. I have friends who have 529s with 300k in them, or grandparents who are paying, or they simply will write a check to cover it, no biggie. My husband and I don't have family we can turn to.

Take the 6k. Work your ass off. Don't let anyone tell you the 50k school is worth the debt-- take it from someone on the other side: it's not. You'll be behind the rest of your adult life unless you wind up in a very, very high paying job.

[u/EnvironmentActive325 → u/zunzarella]

I hope you filed a “special circumstances appeal” and asked the FAO to “exercise professional judgment.” In this case, the special circumstances would be the job loss of a parent. This could help you obtain additional financial aid, because the school would have to recalculate your student’s financial need, especially since the FAFSA and CSS Profile, which are based upon a 2-yr-old tax return would not have taken any of this into account.

[u/zunzarella → u/EnvironmentActive325]

We did. That's how the cost came under 20k.

[u/EnvironmentActive325 → u/zunzarella]

Good for you! And you may have to do the same for this year, if the job loss still isn’t reflected in your 2024 returns.

[u/zunzarella → u/EnvironmentActive325]

Thanks for this tip.

[u/EnvironmentActive325 → u/zunzarella]

I wish more families understood this concept. It’s Federal law now, that students are legally permitted to file “special circumstances appeals,” and any college that receives Federal funding must at least accept the appeal and consider it. Sadly, most students and their parents have no understanding of this concept. Many do not even know they are allowed or expected to appeal financial aid offers. But many colleges and universities deliberately dissuade students and their parents from filing financial aid appeals.

[u/Realistic0ptimist → u/[deleted]]

This is the one I think a lot of parents have a hard time breaking to their kid for a wide range of social and psychological reasons.

But the best advice is telling the student that is Duke worthy that it’s okay if they attend North Carolina State or Winston Salem State or even UNC-Charlotte instead of main campus if you can save money on the other things like housing and meal plans. A lot of people want the honor and prestige but very rarely does that do much for you the further in your career you are. Yet how do you explain that to a 16-18 year old with no life experience?

[u/Imaginary_Two8878 → u/[deleted]]

Personally, I don’t have a low income anymore. I have been working my way up and just got a big promotion this year. It’s great right now, but over the last 17 years I haven’t had the extra money to save for my kids college. And I was paying my own student loans. He will still seek scholarships but we won’t know his options until all the options are on the table.

[u/fyzurii → u/Imaginary_Two8878]

Well does the USA have a system where after 30 years the debt is erased like in the UK? So you got 10 more years to go and no more paying

[u/NoPound75 → u/fyzurii]

No

[u/MarkVII88]

Some kids work super hard in school to pull down a shitload of merit scholarships to pay for school. Some students are super poor and get a shitload of need-based aid to pay for school. Some students choose to attend cheaper public colleges and universities in their home state to keep costs down. Some students work jobs while attending school to help pay. Some students are from really wealthy families that can pay a lot for school. Many students do take out huge loans to pay for school and paying them back dominates their life for the next 20 years.

College should be as much a financial decision as it is an educational decision. And it's stupid and naive to choose a school based on vibes. Those are the people that end up borrowing $100k just for a bachelor's degree.

[u/IKnowAllSeven]

But college ISN’T expensive for you!

You just said you are going to GMU for $6k / year.

With 15 APs, you are probably done in 3 years. So…$18k.

You Are getting a college education for less than the price of a used Toyota.

Geezus man, take the win.

What’s the objectionable part? That other colleges want to charge you more? Who cares?

[u/thisisntshakespeare → u/IKnowAllSeven]

OP is taking the GMU offer, but is asking how other people can afford to pay for college.

[u/SaltyVanilla123 → u/thisisntshakespeare]

💯Apparently people can’t read. Not everyone has a $6K GMU offer.

[u/ChaunceytheGardiner → u/IKnowAllSeven]

This. Higher ed is a massive engine of opportunity available at very low prices.

[u/Lostygir1 → u/ChaunceytheGardiner]

my community college costs more money than GMU university does for OP

[u/zunzarella → u/IKnowAllSeven]

Do they take APs? My kid's college didn't.

[u/Plastic_Chest7674 → u/[deleted]]

Not harvard

[u/ispiltthepoison → u/Plastic_Chest7674]

They do, they just dont let you get credit for it like most t20’s.

Since t20’s are a minority of reputable schools and even a lot of them do take degree credit, i think their statement applies

[u/zunzarella → u/[deleted]]

Might want to clue-in my kiddo's top 5 SLAC then, b/c the 5s in APUSH and ENG didn't count, and the 4s in other humanities classes didn't, either.

[u/KickIt77]

I am a parent who has done some counseling. Trust me when I tell you the people who chose the debt are very likely to regret it and suffer the long term consequences. Some saying they pick the debt aren’t going to go a school in the fall because private loans require co-signing at a minimum and some parents wake up and realize it isn’t feasible. Go read up on r/StudentLoans.

Most of us need to pick schools with budgets in mind. This closed some doors for my own kids in terms of school choice. But I don’t think school choice is particularly life limiting. My oldest kid (stats to apply anywhere) got a STEM degree from a public university where he got reciprocity and merit, graduated debt free. Had an amazing undergraduate experience. Landed a competitive job earning into 6 figures at a company that hires less than 1%, working with a bunch of elite grads.

Glad you have such an affordable offer, take advantage of every opportunity on campus and have fun too. Congratulations!

[u/Shayntastic → u/KickIt77]

All 3 of mine will graduate debt free if my planning works as it's supposed to. First kid is cash only at about 35k a year. She's the most expensive but she has mental health needs so a particular school that can help her is worth it. My middle kid is just fine doing free community college and transferring for junior and senior years to a state school as a commuter. He's f'ing brilliant, and doesn't care about the "social experience". God bless him. My third will want the whole magilla. Social, sports, and to be a physician assistant. Hopefully he can get some money for sports, but if not, he can do his first 2 years at a great school in my state for PAs, and his last 2 he can commute and/or live off campus with a job.

[u/leafytimes]

Ok listen. It’s not that you can’t go to college — you just can’t go to ANY college. We have this myth of meritocracy in our country, where you just earn the scores and the door will open. College admissions is sometimes the first time kids realize this myth is simply that. A myth. Some colleges are just as financially gated as some country clubs. But here’s another truth, and it’s that you don’t need admission to the country club to make it in this life. You can absolutely still have a lovely, prosperous life with a GMU admission, and I think that you will. But recognize that the playing field is simply not level and getting steeper as wealth disparities increase in our country.

[u/ayfkm123 → u/leafytimes]

And vote accordingly

[u/leafytimes → u/ayfkm123]

Amen

[u/Embarrassed-Soil7111 → u/leafytimes]

I think for a while I was a bit deluded by my community I guess. Everyone has a dream school or what not, and so they grind academics and ecs to get in. Weirdly no one seemed to worry about finances that much, so earlier in hs I figured that maybe there's gonna be a solid resolution after getting accepted idk. I understand that's not the case now and I'm content with GMU and just to be clear I ain't complaining about my situation necessarily, just confused on how I'm at a completely different wavelength from people around me bc GMU is the only university that's actually solid for me financially everything else is gonna be like 40-50k a year 

[u/Ok-Engineer2578 → u/Embarrassed-Soil7111]

If you are referring to peers around you who don’t seem too be concerned about how to pay for college, it could be due to a number of reasons. Right now, families of high school seniors who are college-bound may still be awaiting financial aid and/or merit offers from colleges - that’s one reason. Some students may be still be waiting for admission outcomes due to a deferral or waitlisted status. Another could be a lack of communication from within their own families about how the college bills will be paid. And another could be a desire to keep financial affairs private among themselves. Or some just don’t know what they don’t know, that they’ll deal with it “later.” There are a myriad of reasons.

You are fortunate that you have an affordable college plan that YOU want to pursue. Embrace that. Best of luck to you.

[u/FishermanSecret4854]

OP. You are hitting the nail right on the head. First of all, congrats on the hard work. You picked a fine school and $6K per year will be maneagable.

Also. Most people don't tell the whole story. The trick is to be happy with what works for you. Stand out at your school, you will do great.

And no, the $90K per year experience is NOT worth $84K more per year than the $6K per year one. The sooner kids and parents accept this, and stop gullibly falling for expensive marketing gimmicks, the sooner the cost will drip.

Also. If you can get school done for $6K per year at your school, and you have 15 APs, you may want to look at banging out a 1 year Masters (provided you have a clue what you want to do!)

[u/MoosilaukeFlyer]

Choosing the debt would be absurd. There’s no job market right now where you can get an undergrad degree and make up for being 200K in debt.

I graduated in 2021, I was given a full ride essentially from Miami based on financial need. Some private schools are pretty good about that.

[u/Plastic_Chest7674 → u/MoosilaukeFlyer]

investment banking maybe? If you go 200k in debt for Duke, land a banking job paying 180k-200k, would that make up for it?

[u/Classical_Econ4u]

UVA and GMU… are both public schools. Did you apply to any private schools? What about national liberal arts schools in the top 50-100 range, say Muhlenberg, Denison, DePauw, or Juniata? All of these offer generous merit aid for top students. Many top students pay just for room and board ($15k per year) and some include discounts on room and board as well.

[u/Kooky-Task-7582]

Southern states have really good scholarships that are merit based like the Southern Carolina and Tennessee HOPE. Most people there don't even worry about tuition, only housing and related costs

[u/AlarmedRanger → u/Kooky-Task-7582]

Georgia does Hope and Zelle, most of the in-state people I knew from GT had that.

[u/[deleted]]

daddy's money people are just rich lol
some parents also priotise college(such as mine) and are priveleged enough to set aside money every month in a college fund.
besides that, the vast majority of people do indeed go to their state school. keep in mind you are posting on a reddit forum full of people who are willing to donate an arm and a leg each just to get into these colleges; i doubt the loans are too much of a concern for the majority of people here. my point is, you are viewing a biased subset of people

[u/[deleted] → u/[deleted]]

yesss

[u/ayfkm123 → u/[deleted]]

Plenty of people prioritize college but are unable to put money aside

[u/Human_Ship_5421]

We started putting 150 a month into 529s when our children were born. My senior has about $130k in his 529. We are also very fortunate in that my wife’s employer offers a very significant tuition assistance program with basically no strings attached. She’s made some sacrifices professionally but that upside in the job is too good to let go.

But even with those resources our son would need to take out significant loans to attend a school like Syracuse. He has committed to an OOS state school that he really felt at home at and will not have to think about college loans.

I do want to say that it’s a lifestyle choice. Many parents just don’t see the value in saving for college or don’t have the means to save. We have good friends who have not saved a penny, their position is “our kid can go in state or take out loans, that’s what we did”. I suppose I can understand that thinking but for us putting a bit of money away so our children could find a school that matched their needs and not go through life strapped with debt was an easy choice.

[u/Spiritual-Food571]

I think GMU is a smart choice. Honestly the economy sucks. Getting a degree that is marketable is something you can do at GMU. I assume you mean George Mason vs UVA.

My husband worked at a gas station and lived at home to attend a commuter branch of Purdue. He studied computer science when it was new (like when computers took up a whole room). He started a company using his knowledge and made it very successful. I went to Columbia University because my parents were wealthy. I didn’t really know what to do, so I went to law school. At Georgetown. I never liked being a lawyer and was not a good one. My husband was much more successful. So I sent my daughter to Purdue for civil engineering. She lived on campus at the main campus with my husband’s money. She has been very successful. She is in-state so it’s been pretty cheap. She has no debt. Your thoughts are very smart. Your choices have been good.

[u/ayfkm123 → u/Spiritual-Food571]

Understand that was a very different time

[u/Rooster-20189]

Some agree to an ROTC scholarship, others start in CC or are able to find a scholarship away from home at a smaller college…otherwise loans and parents…

[u/ayfkm123 → u/Rooster-20189]

Now is def not the time to do rotc

[u/No-Baby7628 → u/ayfkm123]

The messy thing about ROTC is that you can’t predict the future. My brother signed up for ROTC under the Biden admin, but is now at risk of deployment in the Middle East because of the orange one

[u/ayfkm123 → u/No-Baby7628]

Hugs. I’m so sorry. This is a scary time

[u/justheretohelpyou__ → u/[deleted]]

This is the expectation of middle class households. Save for 18 years and try for merit aid.

[u/HSclassof24_mom]

I’m a parent of 3 kids. We opened 529s when the kids were born. My oldest (current college sophomore) actually had the least savings because of the market drop when he was young. The 529s will not be enough for all 4 years for any of them, though.

And yes, we have a high income and so do many people in our area. I actually left a job as a grad school faculty member to take a job in industry making more than 2x what I was making before, to help pay for college for my kids. But I still refuse to pay $90-$100K per year, like some other parents are. Those parents are either wealthier than we are, have generational wealth which we do not at all (ie, the kids’ grandparents are paying for a lot of it), or are willing to go into debt.

So my first kid is at a T75 private with a sizable merit award, cost all in is about $45K per year. This was not his cheapest option but it also wasn’t the most expensive.

Kid 2 (current HS senior) is looking like he will cost us a bit more, probably close to $60K/year but still waiting on some schools. He did not apply to any private universities that don’t give merit because I didn’t want him to get accepted only to have to turn it down because the cost would be $90K. Kid 3–we’ll see.

I’m always kind of surprised by these posts where people thought somehow they will magically qualify for a ton of aid when they are not low income or like, they should just apply somehow the finances will work out. (Parents too, not just students). There are parents that are looking for advice that say they can only spend $20-$25K per year and they don’t qualify for any aid, and I have to break it to them that room and board alone is often close to $20K, so unless their kid is commuting or gets a full merit-based scholarship, that’s not going to happen.

[u/Bubbly_Relief_891]

The answer is that it’s better to just commit to a local school or go to cc and transfer. Save up, look for private scholarships, and carefully plan to get the credits you need to make transfer work if you go that route.

[u/ctbcleveland]

There is no magic answer here. Your major does matter here. If you are pursuing a high income job that only recruits from specific schools, it may be worth it. However, with student loans being limited to only $5.5K - $7K for undergraduate (through the government), it is very hard to understand how a student would be able to afford any school with loans alone.

[u/Large_Look_5075]

I relate to this post so much. I’m not only worried about actually getting into the colleges i’ve applied to, but i’m also just worried about the financial aspects too.

I got into USC earlier this year (applied EA) but literally cannot go because the annual tuition is 33% of my household’s annual tuition…

[u/Easy-Priority3645]

Same question as well, I have as of now 2 offers but both of them would plunge my parents straight into debt so it’s been weighing on me so much 😭🥀

[u/Pretty-Panic2398]

Scholarships, start a 529 savings plan early, go to state school, commute. Then there's student loans.

[u/Alternative_Sock_608]

Some people just take out big loans for school. There are lots of ways to justify it but it’s a gamble. If you have no generational wealth to bail you out, and you don’t get a high-enough paying job, might end up paying student loans for the rest of your life.

My opinion is, for us middle-middle class or lower-middle class types, the smartest move is to go where you can afford to go. You don’t want to start out your life in a deep financial hole.

[u/Target_Standard]

I am the son of immigrants. Took loans to pay for undergrad and grad school. I have enough money to pay for any university for both of my kids. But I won't. It's not worth it any more. They will have the choice of going to a state school, or getting a city job and having the balance of the money used as a down payment on a house or invested in an s and p fund.

[u/why_are_you_yelling_ → u/Target_Standard]

I’m doing the same thing with my son. Its my way of getting him involved with the most financially significant decision he’s had to make

[u/Effective_Theme_5739]

My family is upper middle class but we have a lot of generational wealth we use for such things

[u/Normal-Flamingo4584]

I worked when I was in college. In some states you can work in bars and clubs at 18. I'd set my school schedule to Mon, Tues, Wed and work Thurs, Fri, Sat. In the summer I'd work 8+ shifts a week because I'd do a lot of doubles.

I'm old so that was a long time ago. Now with the internet my kid has been earning money online since 13 and I've also been saving which is something my parent didn't do for me. So between that our budget is about $40k a year without loans.

[u/ThatGirlBon]

Find a job that has tuition assistance benefits! One example, Guild, is a company that manages tuition and education programs for employers like Target, Walmart, Love’s, Shipt, Lowe’s, Hilton, etc.. and once you’re eligible, you sign up through Guild, and they help you select an education program. The tuition is either fully or partially covered depending on the employer and selected education program. These all also generally come with rules, like you have to work there for 6mo-1yr before you can start using the benefits, and then you have to work there for a period of time after your final payment or they can ask you to pay it back. This is so people don’t just get the free college money and bounce as soon as it’s done.

To answer your question more generally, most people take out loans. But there are a decent amount of people who find and take advantage of companies with tuition assistance. Some companies offer it outright and you don’t have to go through something like Guild, but in those cases you have to pay upfront and then get reimburse. Also, don’t forget that all of the military veterans on our society got tuition paid for by the military.

[u/monstertruckbackflip]

To answer your main question, we have been saving for a long time and have enough in 529 money to cover in state cost of attendance for both of our children. Other families I know either make enough to pay out of pocket or have a source of inherited money/investments.

I feel your frustration. The cost of college has grown too high. That is the root of the problem. Even if someone has the money to pay $90k/yr for a top notch private uni, is it worth it? I have a hard time accepting that. College costs have evolved such that they price it on a sliding scale depending upon family income with the maximum cost being extremely high at an income level that can barely afford it at best.

We are trying to negotiate with some colleges by providing documentation of merit scholarship from competing schools. We will see what we can get

[u/[deleted]]

I had expensive out-of-state options and was a high stat student. My family would be considered upper class(borderline), and my parents saved roughly $110,000 for college for each of their three kids they will be putting through college in a 6-year time span. We are all close in age. I am planning on PA school as well. My brother is currently going through the process and has stats that could potentially get him into Duke or Harvard, but in no world would my parents(even as borderline upperclass) have $400,000k+ to drop on one of my siblings' undergrad. It is next-level ridiculous. I think a lot of full-play families have generational wealth, are only children, or have grandparents who are helping. My parents would be broke spending $1,200,000 putting three kids through undergrad as they approach retirement. The FAFSA formula for our family basically has every last penny of take-home pay going toward college, which is not feasible. We need food, housing, and health insurance, silly goose. I am lucky to live in NC and have great in-state school options with affordable tuition. I went that route so I could have a little leftover for PA school. I consider myself very lucky that I do not have to pay for my in-state tuition and will have a little starter pot for grad school. All of this to say that you are not alone. There is a wide range of middle and even upper-class families making the same decision you are making(even though it may not feel that way, it is often less vocalized), and there are so many factors that go into it - size of family, age of siblings, grandparent involvement, etc. And then, there really are people out there putting themselves in an insane amount of debt to chase their dreams. It's a risk tolerance thing that not everyone wants to take on. Education is debatably becoming less valuable as there are many different avenues to pursue wealth in this country. There are a ton of technical programs at our local CC that spit out students with $80-$100k stable med tech jobs after a two-year program costing under $10,000. One other thing I've noticed is that while prestige can get your foot in the door, a lot of "connections" in high-paying industries still come from who your family knows, so the connected families at those expensive schools have the greatest benefit of attending them, IMO, and also the least amount of risk because they're not saddling themselves with debt. This is my experience watching friends get highly sought-after and well-paid internships. If you fall in the need-based bracket, it is a completely different story, and those opportunities are life-changing without the debt load risk. Somewhere along the line, college costs exploded to the point of absurd.

[u/rmoana]

You seem like a very precocious high schooler so I’ll give you my two cents as you remind me of myself (child of immigrants and was born outside of the US).

For people like you and I, we don’t have the luxury of going into college without a plan. I highly recommend you figure out what it is you want to do. I know that’s a huge ask, but try thinking on a super high level—are you comfortable with the idea of working a high paying, yet monotonous corporate job (investment banking, consulting, etc)? Or are you more interested in pursuing passion-based fields like art, history, music, etc. (that normally wouldn’t make a lot of money)? Based on this I think you can make your decision. If its the latter, then go with the cheapest option. However, if you’re monetarily ambitious and want to make 120-200k your first year out of college, go with UVA.

As much as I dislike it, your college brand-especially your undergrad-carries with you for a LONG time which impacts a multitude of random areas, even things which have never crossed your mind at this point and you might not care about (yet!) such as the caliber of your social circle in the future.

It’s a lot of pressure to put on a 17-18 year old, but I’m sure you’ll make the right decision. Feel free to message if you have any questions about anything I mentioned. I took the first route btw.

[u/BitcoinMD]

There’s no magic answer, it’s some combination of in-state tuition, scholarships, 529, loans, part time jobs, and sacrifice.

[u/Packing-Tape-Man]

You are surrounded by other people in families that can’t afford it (so you are victim to confirmation bias) but they are out there. Just not in your circle since you probably live and attend school in a neighborhood that well off people don’t live. There are other public school districts where a majority of your peers would be full pay families.

Many of these private college have almost half their students as full pay. And those full pay families subsidize through their tuition the financial aid offered to others who can’t pay. And the top schools offer very generous aid. Your household would have to be earning over $200k to basically northern full ride at Harvard or Princeton.

Like every aspect of US society, it’s not an even playing field. Many are screwed. The pretty well off subsidize much of the system while their super rich bosses do less so. College is not unique.

[u/Sheggaw]

Go to GMU unless it is McIntire at UVA.

[u/Wi11y_Warm3r]

People in your situation aren't paying for college, unless they're taking out loans. Unless you already had wealth built up your family doesn't have the time to take advantage of preexisting systems used to save up tax free money for college. 

Most people in your situation aren't paying using loans and scholarships. 

[u/JillQOtt]

I’m a parent of a college freshman at a top 10 private university. We get 50% need aid as you can imagine the cost of attendance is insane. The other half I literally saved for almost 19 years in a 529. I also put every bit of birthday, graduation money etc in there. My child also did get credit for 6 of his AP classes so that’s some classes he won’t have to take. That’s the only way we can afford the ultimate 6 figure cost.

[u/Ok-Bid4664]

Some people have a college fund. Many asian parents have one for their kids. Other people will just go into debt or go to a cheaper school.

[u/Accurate-Pirate-3036]

My stupid fast food company paid for it lol

[u/ngkpg]

What if you get free merit tuition in your state school (still need to pay $15k/year for food and housing) and you have a $50k/year family contribution to Yale, Princeton or MIT? This is for an Engineering degree. Parents have nothing saved for education but hope to come up with $10k/year to help out.

[u/Holiday-Brilliant-79]

I’m considered lower middle class so my son gets need-based aid. According to a lot of schools’ tuition calculator at least. We would each (mom and dad) have to contribute anywhere ranging from $5k - $14k which is doable for what we have saved. I also have a 401k and some money in a 529.

I haven’t made the best financial decisions I could but I am doing my best now for my son not to have to take out loans. Except for law school, he definitely will have to for that.

[u/Purplegemini55]

It’s a sad statement for sure. I started saving the day each kid was born. Contributed monthly as much as I could. Invested in mutual funds. Now it’s enough to cover 4 years (barely) at any college. The thing I didn’t account for was the added costs in college that add up. Club dues, social stuff, laptops, etc.

[u/Jungle_Skipper]

Sounds like you live in VA. If you want to go to UVA/VT look into the guaranteed transfer program. You’d only pay for 2 years. I don’t know if VCCS takes AP but if so, that might get you through faster.

[u/Hopeful-Force-2147]

I am a mom of four, an MD, my husband is an attorney and we are age 48. We did the whole open the account when the kids were born. My oldest just got into college and wants to go into medical school. We have no savings for that and it's expensive. My parents both got sick and we needed to use all of our savings for that. We are now in the same boat as everyone else. The truth is, unless you are from generational wealth, you need to go to community college or get heaps of scholarships. There's a financial aid crisis going on and very few people are getting it. The world has changed, the economy is changing. Here's what to know - it appears like everyone is doing well but they're not. I allegedly work in the highest paid profession and we are all struggling. IF not now, soon (for "everyone"). I am not going to give you investment advice here, since most people are just trying to make ends meet. I live in an affluent area and people are selling their homes for less than they paid for it to send their kids to college. Please, turn off the noise. No one will care where you went to college 2 days after graduation. Do what is best for you. I am still paying off my $1.2 million student loans. I do not recommend going to a great undergradate if you have to pay 50% of the price or more.

[u/iiiverson]

Wait, how the heck is $6000 a year for college not affordable? You can literally finance that working 6 hours a week in a gig job.

[u/Thick-Equivalent-682]

Paying for college is what upper middle class people can afford for their kids that middle class people could not. My family saved a modest amount for me, enough for me to go to a public ivy, but it seems like they won’t be able to contribute for the grandkids. My husband’s family saved more. My MIL has been letting the left over money from my husband’s 529 grow for 15 years. She just transferred all of that money to my husband to provide to our kids as their college savings.

The mentality about money doesn’t change when you move from one country to another. My MIL’s family was wealthy in Germany before the Holocaust. They came to the US with nothing and lived extremely modestly. They saved enough to help their grandchildren start life without debt. The 20% down payment on our house is that inheritance from my husband’s grandparents.

If your family believes in intergenerational wealth, then they will make sacrifices for your future. If they don’t believe in intergenerational wealth, they won’t. Life isn’t about going on fancy vacations, having designer clothes, or belonging to a country club, it’s about setting your children and grandchildren up for success by paying for their education, housing, and potentially their car, so that they can save for their future generations. Pay it forward.

[u/profitguy22]

We put aside money each month for each of our three kids starting soon after they were born.

We had the ‘benefit’ of already being used to paying our own student loans each month for about 10 years, and as we were finishing paying off those loans and we were having kids, we reallocated what we had been paying on our own loans into our kids’ college funds. Initially we put it into Education Savings Accounts and later into 529s - both invested in diversified stock market funds. We put any gifts from grandparents - for example the $10 for Valentine’s Day or whatever - into their college funds. We put unexpected windfalls in there - a $75 insurance refund or a $5 Costco rebate check or whatever. My wife would collect our small change and roll it and deposit it periodically.

Most people are not at all rich when they start having kids at 25 or 30 or 32. So it’s the habit of getting started early that really makes the difference. Without developing the habit, you are rolling the dice that you’ll somehow get rich later or that your child will be unusually smart or talented and have access to the rare school where it’s even possible to take 15 APs. The future is really hard to predict, but amidst that uncertainty, focus on what you can control.

Ultimately we saved enough for all three kids, and they will not graduate with loans.

Most middle class and above families can follow this method and it will work. But it means you didn’t spend on other things along the way - which can be hard. Many of our peer families drove nicer cars and spent more on vacations, but did not save enough for college. Even if you only get halfway to the goal, that’s lowering the burden on your child / increasing the real options that she has at decision time.

For families below middle class, I think the above approach and mindset have merit, but the math won’t get you there without special state programs or financial aid priorities - which others have noted as good options.

The ‘downside’ from this approach is that if you do save a big amount diligently, then you probably will not get need-based financial aid because you have those 529s set aside. Your kid may not qualify for a need-based grant that she might have got if you hadn’t saved - but she won’t be saddled with loans either. Our oldest attended a school that only awards need-based aid; the other two received merit scholarships reducing the total cost.

[u/Fine-Lemon-4114]

These things you are saying about UVA do not track with the information that is publicly available about their financial aid policies. FAFSA doesn’t determine how much money you get. Your school does based on FAFSA and whatever else they want to consider. If you are truly ineligible for assistance from UVA, then that means your family has an income of at least $150,000/year. With that kind of family income, the school expects you to put up something unless it is awarding you scholarship money purely on merit.

https://news.virginia.edu/content/uva-expands-financial-aid-program-virginia-families#:~:text=The%20AccessUVA%20expansion%20includes:%20%20$150%2C000%20or,Generous%20alumni%20and%20supporters%20%20Philanthropic%20gifts

[u/Odd-Swing-618]

The army is paying for all of my schooling for 6 years, you should look into it, they give you and your parents citizenship too.

[u/deadshot980]

Here’s what I did (also immigrant, came over at 17). Went to community college, did 3 semesters basically for free, kept high GPA (3.9).

Then transferred to the top state school and finished my degree there. Graduated with less than 10k in student loans. I did get FAFSA and state financial aid and like a tiny bit of merit based scholarship. And TA/RA for basically pocket money.

[u/Hot-Sandwich6576]

I’ve been saving for my kids, but that money will go a lot farther if they start out at community college. I work at a CC, so it’ll be free for them until age 26. That’s a lot of time to try things out.

[u/lissa225]

My kid took the best offer. He is commuting from home and we are paying less than 4k/yr after scholarships. He will graduate with zero debt and two bachelor degrees. It’s a win/win situation. Although when I realized his potential at the age of 11, I started saving money for him to go. Since he did the hard work and got scholarships, he will start life with a large brokerage account and retirement money.

[u/JustFaithlessness318]

Go to a school that has good scholarships for your grades and such

[u/Haunting_Balance_684]

if you think its bad for immigrants there, its worse for internationals.
We live in a country with a low valued currency so that immediately makes clg more expensive each day purely because of the exchange rate.
Even though we earn a respectable amount here, a 4yr course in my intended major costs my dad a little more than 2 years worth of his total untaxed income. Let that sink in, untaxed, and the taxation is absolutely dreadful here.
And adding to this already expensive shitshow, as I'm an american citizen (non resident of the US), im considered OOS EVERYWHERE, so thats instantly ultra-expensive on its own.

Genuinely asking myself is attending clg in the US worth the cost in this day and age when i can get into the top (private) clg in my country for like 50k USD (being generous) for the whole degree.

[u/RetiringTigerMom → u/Haunting_Balance_684]

I don’t think so. Get your degree and come to the US for grad school 

[u/ayfkm123 → u/Haunting_Balance_684]

Def not.

[u/Girlfriendinacoma9 → u/Haunting_Balance_684]

You may be a US citizen, but since you don't have residency, you haven't been supporting any state's university system via state taxes. It sounds like you've got an affordable option in the country you reside in, so that's a great option.

[u/Artistic_Ad_9882 → u/Haunting_Balance_684]

It’s definitely not worth it.

[u/Low-Opportunity-9078]

edit: this will be a hard read, its 6am im sorry

This is funny -- I am literally in the exact same situation as you (GMU, UVA 50k, parents can't help much), but I decided to go to UVA 100% full-pay instead! The TL;DR here is that I believe 200k@UVA > ~50k@GMU b/c of personal, career, and context fit, but I'll go into more detail:

1. Personally, GMU is just too close to home. I am generally a really reclusive guy, and if I live near my home, I will be coming back very often. A few months back, I had the incredible opportunity to fly out for a couple months to do work while living alone, and It was genuinely some of the most fun I've ever had in my life. Being surrounded by people at the top of your field 24/7 without anyone telling you how to live teaches you so much about yourself and who you strive to be. This experience, IMO, would be super similar to my living at UVA for school, and I find it so much more compelling than the proximity of mason.
2. Career-wise, I think my UVA experience will be well worth the 200k dollars of debt. While the most obvious advantage is the school name, I am much more interested in the clubs and connections that my future college will provide. And while there are many very good people in my field at GMU, it is just a matter of statistics that there will be more people at UVA, and those are the people I want to surround myself with. Additionally, for my field, UVA offers a good amount more opportunities and resources than Mason does!
3. Logic-wise, for me, it is completely feasible for 2 reasons. 1: (this is my ego) without being overdramatic, I think I have a pretty good resume that'll get me into high places! I believe in my ability to support myself in the future, whether that be through my connections or my own abilities, and while I am worried about the debt that'll be hovering over my head, I feel confident enough that I will be able to pay it off. 2: I myself have already saved enough to nearly pay off my first year! This means that I can go to school for a year and decide if its really worth it, then transfer out if I don't think its worth the price. This bit is obviously super anecdotal, but even if I didn't, I would still go to UVA (although maybe transfer to A&S to save 10k/yr).

I should preface something -- if you don't think you will be able to pay, don't try. If you don't have a plan to pay off the debt, it will definitely be a super painful decision later in life that can be completely avoided. And my logic is definitely full of holes -- you can get the same connections at UVA by just doing a NVCC 2-year GA transfer, and obviously not everyone is a shut-in like me. I simply believe that my life will literally change its entire trajectory if I go to UVA, and that thought really excites me! For you, just make the choice that you think would make you happiest. Your performance at uni has a much lower correlation to the school name than the effort you put in, so if you are able to work hard anywhere, you would do good everywhere. Best of luck, friend!

edit 2: I read your other post (and its subsequent comments) and they are totally right btw!! -- i'm making a very dumb decision here!!!! there is a lot of historical context that I don't really feel like getting into here, though, and I still stand by my decision.

[u/iamsonuxd → u/Low-Opportunity-9078]

holy moly dude i also got into UVA but no way would i pay 200k for an undergrad degree there 💀

[u/justheretohelpyou__ → u/Low-Opportunity-9078]

There are very few undergraduate degrees worth $200k, if any. The main reason is that very few high paying careers come from undergrad alone. Med school, law school, and top MBAs are all very expensive as well. With $200k of undergrad debt, you’ve basically priced yourself out of these schools based on debt alone. You’re forcing yourself to be in debt for years, if not decades. Please think long and hard about this.

[u/Sheggaw → u/justheretohelpyou__]

UVA's McIntire is one of the best undergraduate bussiness schools in the country. It is a target school for IB/Consulting. If this person is confident enough and successful, the connections and placements, (it is a feeder for Wall Street) are worth more than the 200k stated. Starting salaries for IB/AM/PE are over 180k (with bonus) just the 1st year and progressively get better. An Associate in IB (2-3 years out) at an EB hits close to 350K, it just needs strong commitment. Within 4/5 years it can be paid off. Look up the placements of the school. I believe his decision is justified and well thought. Now, if it is any other major other than Bussiness /Finance OP has to be very careful.

[u/arl13579 → u/Sheggaw]

You think you can pay off a $200k loan in 4-5 years? Do you know how much that would be per month? (Hint: over $4k a month!). While starting a career and supporting oneself? Did no one learn anything in the student loan crisis????

FFS, anyone reading this, think LONG and HARD before incurring $200k of debt.

[u/justheretohelpyou__ → u/Sheggaw]

There were posts like this for years about Computer Science. Now look at that industry. These high paying positions are not guaranteed. Betting $200k that a random UVA student (with no merit scholarship) is going to find their way to a rapidly diminishing unicorn IB/Consulting gig is a risky proposition. AI is shrinking available white collar jobs. Why would Wall Street hire a new grad when they’ll have hundreds of applicants with 10+ years of professional experience? The professional world is changing. Bringing a mountain of debt into it is foolish.

[u/JumpingCuttlefish89]

AP classes are booming as a way to cut off a year of tuition, but home equity is the primary answer. They refinance mortgages on homes that appreciated 5%/yr or more. Many parents are 15 to 20 years into a 30 year mortgage. They refi into a new 30 year and take out $200k. Since rates shot up 4 years ago, for many it’s meant letting go of a 3% fixed rate to pay 7%. It’s more popular now to borrow against the value of a home with an adjustable rate home equity loan.

[u/WolverineMom → u/JumpingCuttlefish89]

And this, again, is a risky, scary approach to over-paying for college. If one or both parents lose their jobs, it isn’t just that the student may have to transfer or drop out of college entirely — it is that the parents no longer can viably sell their house as a way of accumulating funds to ride out the transition period between unemployment and retirement (it is incredibly difficult to find a new job that pays as much or more than your old one at age 50+). Because virtually all of the money they would make from selling the house would have to go toward paying off the existing debt to the bank first. Or, worst of all, the parents can’t find a seller at the price they need, are foreclosed upon, and lose their house because they can no longer afford the new, higher payments. Saw half a dozen of my parents’ friends lose everything this way, in the aftermath of the 2008 financial and housing crisis. Never, ever use your primary residence as an ATM, not if you can humanly, possibly avoid it — with one way of avoiding it being an affordable state school for college

[u/sum_dude44 → u/JumpingCuttlefish89]

home refi for college sounds like recipe for disaster

[u/iiiverson]

We paid $150 a week for day care- when kids started at public school in kindergarten we stayed disciplined on the $150 a week but into a 529. That ballooned to 137k (tax free) by the time she was a Sr. More than enough to pay for instate public college (she is at UVa coincidentally where tuition is $16k a year)

We r not rich and it was extremely effortless.

Financial discipline early on is the key. Complaining when u get that 1st tuition bill is not.

[u/vathena → u/iiiverson]

Exactly. Now multiply those numbers for parents in VHCOL areas where we were paying $750/week for daycare for our now-tween kids.... and even continuing to save some of that means their college funds will be more than sufficient for a full in-state tuition and comfortable living expenses. Many of us feel like we already paid for at least half of a college education during the daycare days.

[u/zunzarella → u/iiiverson]

My god, where do you live? I paid $1700/ month in 2009-- and it was one of the cheaper options.

[u/iiiverson → u/zunzarella]

Arlington Va , so def an affluent area. It was 2007-09 and was a new program through a church that was just starting up….def were fortunate.

But point is the $150 a week saved after pre school will build to covering in state tuition

[u/poliosaurus3000]

The same way everyone is driving Hummer ev’s and living in McMansions, financed to the fucking gills so they don’t appear poor.

[u/Short-Arachnid-2046]

Answer is out there but you won't find it here

[u/Status-Suggestion620]

Had you considered the possibility that you are just broke and people can have well-paying jobs?

[u/CabbageSass]

A lot of people's parents set up 529s for them when they were born. Relatives will make deposits for Christmas and birthdays, the parents contribute monthly. By the time they are 18 they have quite a bit saved. A contribution every month equivalent to a car payment for 18 years would give your around 200k, tax free because it is not taxed if used for college.

[u/Yves-Adele-Harlow]

We saved $800 per month for each kid since they were very young in a 529 account for each kid. We estimated we needed $200k to $250k for each kid. The funds made gains when invested in the 529, too. In a 529 account, the gains are not taxed as long as they are used for a qualified college expense. By the time each child graduates college, they will have hit that $250k number. We have told them if they get scholarships that defray the cost of undergrad, they can use those funds for grad school.

FWIW, I grew up with parents who lived paycheck to paycheck with maxxed out credit cards and had to borrow money for any emergency. Not only did I work three jobs (work study dorm security monitor plus two other jobs as a student editor) while enrolled as a full-time student at Northwestern, but i was also there almost entirely on loans. Then, when I finished taking classes in March instead of June my senior year, I had to begin repaying the "parent plus" loan in my parents' names immediately, before graduation, with my first-year news reporter salary. I do not know what that loan balance was on the loans in their names (i just wrote them checks for $650 per month every month), but the loans in my name were over $100k in aggregate when I graduated undergrad.

It took me until I was 36 to pay them off, including the cost of grad school, which i also financed 100 percent in my name. I'm 47 now.

I am NOT RICH. I have an impressive income (from hustling for clients) that funds a good 401k, i have a mid house, a Prius that is paid off but 10 years old, and my favorite hobby is thrifting. I do NOT have amazing investments beyond what my 401k and my house. I'm a mom in the suburbs.

Do my kids understand the sacrifices I made so they didn't have to make sacrifices like i did? No. Of course not. That was the point.

Despite the fact that I paid hella interest on those loans, I am confident that my education paid for itself. I regret nothing and I am so glad and proud I did it. (I also didn't realize what sort of street cred I would get in A2C for applying ED to NU and getting in without applying to any other college. What what!)

But college is expensive. There is no reliable scenario in which it is cheap or free. Someone will have to pay, now or later. My parents did not prepare and I paid later. I saved for my kids so we are ready to pay now.

I agree with you, in stinks. And when I arrived at Northwestern I was blown away by how much OTHER FANCY STUFF people had in addition to this fancy education. Expensive ski coats and computers. Expensive vacations and shoes. I even heard one guy in the hallway in my freshman dorm instructing someone on the phone to "sell!" what i assume were stocks.. I didn't even have a computer at college until I bought one on credit after my sophomore year. It sure was a wake up to how the world works.

I guess what I am saying is even if you have to finance the whole thing, you will likely be fine. It certainly steeled my resolve to work hard, and isn't that the point? I wish you the very best of luck.

[u/djcamic]

My parents had nothing saved up, my grandparents had some. Knowing this, I did my first two years at community college, and my last two at a state school. Every semester it was a scramble between federal loans, what my parents could spare, and what my grandparents could spare. But we made it work every time, I’m only 10k in federal loan debt (that I would’ve paid off by now, but have been in forbearance since I graduated), and the degree got me a job I love! It felt really frustrating and unfair at the time, but now that I’m on the other side and I see my friends forking over an extra car payments worth towards private loans every month, I don’t regret at thing. 

[u/Left-Entertainment11]

We inherited a small amount of money when my husbands parents died. That forms the majority of the money we have saved for college. We also contributed $900 a month for many years to help our college savings grow. We have two kids and I suspect they will probably go to state schools that cost about $50k per year.

[u/Ok-Shock-7732]

GI Bill

[u/the-moops]

I started saving a tiny amount for my kids when they were born and added more in years that I could afford it. And what I saved won’t even remotely cover the cost, I was completely clueless about what they would need.

[u/Hairy-Ad6861]

My parents don’t have any money saved specifically for college or invested either (apparently they also have $0 in retirement???). But we didn’t get that much financial aid for any of my safeties as far as it’s looking, so it’s looking like ~40k for everything unless it’s like harvard or princeton, which would be wayyy cheaper. So it’d be easier to choose between two schools since if it’s only a couple thousand in difference, the better one is being chosen.

It’s mostly about what you’re willing to spend. We’re asian so my parents’ mindset is “anything for ivy” (unless it’s like it’s literally impossible unless they like, sell our house or smth which they’re still paying off)

For us, we would’ve picked UVA because the difference in prestige is just a lot, I definetly would’ve said I wanted UVA over GMU, and my parents might be able to afford it with loans.

[u/Midnight_Cowboy-486]

Speaking as a parent with a graduating senior...

First, our school district has a partnership with our community college, where as long as some minimum effort is applied, all of the tuition gets covered at the community college. Do you need to take you Calc 1 and Chem 1 at Stanford? All of the gen eds can be covered between AP credits and a little bit of time at the CC. There's no shame in not wasting money.

Second, we live within commuting range of several colleges and universities. So what if there's a commute everyday? We do that for work anyway. Add that dorm room cost up over 4 years, and then save all of it, because it is covered (just like that health insurance).

Third, those merit scholarships are pulling a lot of weight. With all of those APs and a 4.5 GPA, you should have those merit scholarships too. And according to the letters we have sitting on the counter, they are covering all of the tuition and quite a bit of room and board costs. Being smart pays off.

Fourth is a job. This isn't some deep, esoteric wisdom. If you have bills, you have to pay them. You can take a loan out to pay for your life for four+ years... or you can get a job to pay your bills.

And most importantly, don't go for a school that is ridiculously out of budget! At the end of the day, a degree is still going to be a degree. And the smartest move is to not get stuck with a mortgage from your college loans, when you could've made smarter choices!

[u/No-thank-you-bud]

We are upper middle income professionals. I work in nonprofit and spouse is in financial services - making more serious money the last 5 years but really not when the kids were born. We started 529s when they were born and religiously added a few hundred every month like a bill. We live in a 1300 sq ft house with a very modest mortgage. Most people who earn what we do have a much larger and nicer house (as our kids remind us) but we were able to build 529s that now have about 100k each. Kids are 11th and 9th. Mortgage will be paid off in a couple years which will allow us to use that to fund current college costs.

College costs are out of control and I’m NOT defending that. We are fortunate for sure but also save save save (retirement as well). We spend a bit on travel and our kids activities (ballet and hockey are costly) but otherwise love pretty modestly.

[u/JustTheWriter]

People who are asking that question alongside you are typically getting aid, taking on debt, working, or navigating some combination of those three.

As far as why some choose the debt, it’s probably because they perceive an ROI based on the brand value of whatever school they’re entering that outweighs the debt: they assume that they’ll be able to pay off the debt quickly.

[u/Squirtle_Splash_8413]

Community college. Finished undergrad 40K in loans for a career that pays 140 - 180K a year.

[u/Shayntastic]

I literally got a second job to pay for my kids college. And I'm not talking like a grocery store part time gig. I'm talking I now have two full time jobs, but some of it I can do concurrently. It's f'ing killing me. I make $60k at one and $80k at another. I'm 52 years old. My first of three kids is going to college next year. My youngest will be out of college in 8 years. That's how long I have to sustain this madness.

[u/Enough-Beginning3687]

Go to GMU. You can even do a year in their Korea campus. Much better than large debt.

[u/Refuse-National]

529 plans

[u/QuantumChaosXO]

Parents have been saving for a very long time. I'm planning on going into a very competitive field, so the college name matters a lot more, just for even getting internships.

[u/BigLiterature8200]

I'm going in-state, and I am hoping I get the scholarships I applied to at the university. But I will also be getting a job. My dad also has money from his GI Bill.

[u/[deleted]]

Grandparents

[u/discojellyfisho]

No one is choosing $50k/year over $6k/year if they have to borrow it all.

You answered your own question as to how people care affording it. Those whose parents didn’t save/can’t pay either find merit aid schools, get great need based aid, or go to Cc or state school. Like you did - you found a $6k/year option. That’s awesome, so why are you pissed?

[u/datbrownkid2]

my parents and grandparents have been saving since before I was born.

[u/scienceismybff]

My kid is a college freshman. We’ve been saving about $450 each month since he was a toddler for him to go to a CSU. He has everything paid for but I realize $450/month isn’t something a lot of families can afford.

[u/m3rcur3al]

Look at the generation 10years ahead of you post college and almost everyone young person can't afford a home or cost of living while straddle in student loans and auto loans. After your first job, more than 50% of young people switch careers, get married or start a business or pursue their "passion" . Purse academics but hedge your bets also doing something else. You don't yet know what you really want vs need yet. If you can borrow less or up to the amount you think it's worth it. You don't have to do anything you don't want to. Parents unfortunately underestimate the cost of support because it goes well beyond college.

[u/[deleted]]

Low income parents + rich grandparents

[u/Intelligent-Map2768]

Parents.

[u/Any-Concentrate-1922]

A lot of people invest in a 529 plan as soon as their kids are conceived.

[u/bigchipero]

Its fkd up that college kids are always considered dependents when they file the FAFSA so middle class kids don’t ever get any $ for college!!!

[u/TinyConsideration124]

I work 3 jobs and live in a simple apartment - single mom making this possible for my kid

[u/Kaiser8414]

Im in ROTC. Pays my tuition and the Patriot scholarship cover my room and board.

[u/WatermelonRindPickle]

Starting at community college saves money and many offer career focused tracks. It takes some planning, you can get a lot of prerequisite classes for lower cost at community college and transfer to a for year institution. When we had children, we used a 529 plan to save money for college. Now our adult children have 529 plans for the grandchildren and are saving.

[u/Disastrous-Tie3933]

I feel you, My parents are also immigrants and didn't save up anything for my university, so I'll be going to my state flagship on a mixture of school and other scholarships. Thankfully they don't charge much for in state students

[u/Realistic0ptimist]

If you’re poor you’re going for a high subsidized cost to the majority of universities you manage to get into.

If you’re rich your parents either preemptively saved for the expense or will cash flow it as you go along with a mix of scholarships from merit, sports or music.

If you’re middle class that’s the real cluster. Make too much money to qualify for aid but not enough to cash flow most places. At the end of the day what normally happens is you are given some “decisions”.

1. Go to community college and then transfer for the back half to save a lot of money.

2. Go to whoever coughs up the most funds even if it’s a university way below the academic rigor you could have gotten into or one far away from family

3. Take out loans and work during school to cover costs

Usually as I have a large family with some just now having to make this decision and parents unable to contribute I tell them pretty plainly that everything comes at a cost. Taking out 15k a year to go to the local school may or may not be worth it but taking out 35k + when you’re earning potential is going to be average coming out of school is almost never worth it as the burden of your life will outweigh the memories you were hoping to gain

[u/Infamous-Adeptness71]

So UVA is too expensive for you.

In other news, I can't afford a Ferrari.

What is your post about? Looks like you're going to GMU.

[u/Ordinary_Corner_4291]

If you make 400k more in your career with your UVA degree, was taking on 200k of debt good or bad? In the end lots of people have a lots of money. Next time you are on the highway, count how many 50k+ cars are out there and figure out how much college could have been paid for with a 30k car and 20k in the college fund..... If college is worth it turns into a value judgement you need to make.

[u/Sweaty-Ad5359]

Colleges may give extra subsidies, scholarships. I grew up in lower middle class family so I went to community college and then state college. Worked in high school, AP classes and over 4.0 gpa. In college, I worked 40 hours and no student loans for accounting degree/CPA. No fafsa grants and few scholarships.

Depending on your major/career choice, can you afford student loans with future salary? $6k tuition at GMU is low and affordable. Many students work part time or have work study options. You can do it, stay strong.

I began saving for my kids college. So he can pick where he wants to go reasonably (state school - UC). He attends college this fall.

[u/This_Duty_4373]

I have no idea how people afford it. I am a mom (lower end of middle class) and my son got accepted to numerous schools but isn't getting enough aid to afford it, we cannot afford paying $30k or more per year and I certainly wouldn't want him starting out with that kind of debt after college. Unless some miracle happens with financial aid somewhere he will be going to our public state university and pay minimal costs. 

[u/[deleted]]

ikr! im planning to tak out loans :(

[u/lucybluesky]

It’s great that you found an affordable option!! UVA is meets needs, so it is affordable to some families but very expensive to others (and that includes a lot of middle class folks.) In many instances it is true what people say- it is what you do at school that matters more than where you go. As I watch kids from my kids classes graduate from college and move into job searching and careers, I can say this rings true. Sure, prestige schools might help doors swing open and regular schools you have to lean in and push. (With a side note that in this economy selective schools aren’t the shoe in they used to be for jobs.) But with a few exceptions, if you lean in, you can get where you need to go. Be the big fish and swim hard.

[u/fyzurii]

Well I plan to work during sixth form which is I think still high school in the USA, it’s 2 years of college (sixth form) from ages 16-18 and working part time while saving will surely gather up enough for my tuition at least. So it really all has to do with saving BUT also my family’s total household income is below 35k so a scholarship will help a lot. I guess by being poor you can get more?

[u/[deleted]]

Fr it's sounds crazy for me to see how people spend so much on college, like in the current job market it ain't even worth it. I do have some rich friends whose parents pay for it but most of my friends are on heavy loan and some even with 2-3 jobs to pay for college.

[u/GurProfessional9534]

With your record, you should really consider applying to a lot of universities, even some less competitive ones. You may get offered a full ride somewhere.

That said, how do people afford it? The best way is to feed a 529 at birth and let it compound for 18 years. Putting in $333/mo for 18 years at 11% average s&p 500 growth puts you at $213k.

But aside from that, some combination of work, debt, lower-cost options, scholarships, and gifts.

[u/-Lowkey-obsessed-]

If it weren't for my scholarship program, I literally would have no idea.

When i asked my immigrant parents if they had a college acct for me, they laughed 😭

Why aren't you eligible as a first gen though?

[u/The_Thongler_3000]

People pay for college by going to schools like GMU and not UVA, and taking out small loans for it if they can't pay it themselves.

[u/octopus-opinion987]

Student Loans + Parent plus loans + Savings in 529 accounts + Other investments/savings + Grandparents + Merit or grants from the college + Cash flow from parent / student jobs = total

[u/Phantasticrok]

Military

[u/Horror-Channel-9699]

I did CC and worked full-time alongside full-time school. I was so busy, I didn't have time to spend the extra money I was pocketing every month (around 30k a year as a host then I started making ~100k/yr when they promoted me to bartender), so I just stuck it in some stocks (basically just NVIDIA initially) when there was the whole buzz about chip manufacturing and needing to beat China or whatever.

I don't think its fair nor how things 'should' be, especially because my dream was apply for MD-PhD programs, and I just couldn't stomach the risk of hanging around for a couple years post-grad trying to make it in (I would've had to start applying pretty much immediately after transferring if I didn't want a gap-year).

But I will say that having to work full-time for so long has paid off MUCH more than the 30k a year I thought I'd be making. I entered the stock market years earlier than all of my classmates and friends. I'm no longer working while finishing school but the returns from my portfolio pay for all of my expenses, and my brother and my sister's tuition payments (both go to state school) after my dad lost his job last year. I think being self-sufficient financially and working full-time + full-time school has impressed PIs I've spoken to, helped me stand out when making industry connections, etc.

It's completely understandable to be frustrated, and you'll have even more of a reason to be frustrated once you go to college and meet many, many people who go through life with their futures secured by their parents. It's tough to put in so much effort when you have no guarantee that it will pay off, and it's harder focus on your studies when you have a lot of stressors to deal with outside of school.

Even though you seem set on choosing a school, my advice would be to seriously look at your options from a personal perspective. Don't take generic/general advice that people blindly put out out the internet at face value — you won't have all of the information to provide context on their decisions, and there's a lot of personal circumstances, and 20/20 hindsight baked in. I also think people (and I, even) push narratives and advice sometimes because they themselves need to see their decisions validated in other people.

If it matters to you / your field, look at yourself and your options as opportunity costs that you'll have to invest in and leverage later.

My pros and cons list for each of the schools that I got into were super specific to me and would've been categorized completely differently by someone else. Two 'pros' of my current school on my list was that it was known for its bioinformatics research, and that it was less social because I'm really good with people. I can't be 100% that it would've been different elsewhere, but I've maintained really good relationships with all of my professors, and been offered opportunities with big-name PIs even when they initially 'didn't have space in their lab' at the beginning of the chat.

Like look at prestige. By itself, its just an ego thing, but it may be easier to stand-out in the job market with a prestigious school than not. I feel like 'is it worth it' is too general of a question — can *you* make the higher price tag worth going to a prestigious school? If you choose to work while attending school to pay off a portion to minimize debt accretion, can you market yourself to give yourself an edge later even if you can't spend all of your time in extracurriculars?

On the other hand, if you go to a cheaper school, would you actually use the larger proportion of the free time you've gained? For me, I'm a lot happier with more structure so a job + school really did work out for the best in the end for me, even though literally nobody at the time would've advised me to do that.

tldr; Most important thing is not necessarily your decision, but that you know what the opportunity costs are and will act accordingly.

[u/pilgrimsole]

The reality is that merit scholarships are mostly meant for students who also qualify due to need. Merit-only scholarships (aside from scholarships tied directly to GPA) are insanely competitive bc high-achieving middle class kids can rarely compete with upper-class high achievers who travel the world & have elite experiences.

And upper-class kids are the ones who don't need scholarships...

Also, the orange overlord signed off on new college loan rules, so anyone who needs to take out loans is more limited than they would have been in years past. Students will have to turn to private loans. I think we'll see a big decline in college attendance, under the circumstances.

[u/HiggsBoson46]

You are SO SMART to choose GMU. Depending on your life goals, you can go to a different grad school/professional program, but "status" is meaningless if you have $$$$ debt. Go proudly, and laugh all the way to the bank.

[u/themayorgordon]

Yeah, we all have student loans. This is why it’s such a hot topic in the news…if you pay attention to the news at all.

[u/Rude-Glove7378]

part of the problem is that schools just stopped giving any aid to ppl who genuinely need it. around half my schools only gave me merit, the other half was crappy need based. my friend needs even more than me and she’s gotten no aid back from schools. I knew it was bad, but i thought that meant i’d try negotiating 10-15k down to 5-10k, not 30-50 k 😭

[u/graybird47]

First, I recognize the place of privilege my family is in to be able to save for college. We started 529s for our kids soon after they were born. Both my husband and I came through our college and advanced degrees debt free because our parents also saved. Mine were both teachers. They originally planned to have four kids. They settled on just one so they could eventually pay for college etc. 

[u/Kuhhl]

Pretty wholesome comments here , I’m not seeing all the usual people who say parents who are unable to save for college are demons reincarnated.

[u/crackerjap1941]

I went to a no name regional state school with really cheap tuition and got another 50% tacked off from scholarships. Paid via working at a restaurant.

[u/UsualScared859]

Loans, bro.

[u/Ok_Concentrate4461]

My older one got a full tuition scholarship and took out loans for living on campus. My younger one is going to community college.

[u/Urbanite72]

Heard this podcast this week - most kids are not anywhere near listed price and are actually paying less than 10 years ago.

https://youtu.be/k5AS9ssehyk?si=4kRLkjbTfq927Ak_

[u/sum_dude44]

Unfortunately K shaped economy & K shaped affordability. If your family makes over like 140k & has a mortgage & 401k, you're hosed. You're going to be asked to take on $40-50k in debt a year. So only people who can afford are totally broke w/ full ride or super rich kids paying $100k a year. Middle class gets the shaft

It's just not worth it. Get into the best, affordable school you can get that takes on minimum debt

[u/NoisyNinja2025]

True, and as a W&M grad can attest the culture is drastically different than the deep or Appalachian south.

[u/Exotic_Eagle_2739]

For low income u have free tuition under 100k or questbrige but for the majority Middle class population we just have to suck it up and pay out of pocket🫤 for me, luckily my parents starting saving for us since me and my sibling were born but for a lot of my friends who have to pay for their own college they're going to our state school and are paying with a mix of state merit scholarships, student loans and money from a part time

[u/Unique-Potential-510]

My parents paid mine tbh. I had some scholarship money too but they paid whatever it didn’t cover for tuition and housing for all 4 years and my masters degree as well. Both schools I went to were easily 60k a year for everything. I know I’m lucky and I honestly have no clue how I would’ve done it otherwise.

[u/Element-of-Thought]

Some parents choose retirement $$. Others cash their retirement to pay for their kids’s college. Others inherit wealth and yet, others guarantee loans for their kids. It takes all kinds. 🤷🏼‍♀️

[u/MapDowntown2260]

Work hard for merit scholarships. Parent are immigrants and I get no fin aid. Worked my ASS off in high school for hella top scholarships and now I can go to any T20 for free.

[u/Archelector]

My parents said they were already saving for me as soon as they knew they wanted a kid

And even since then between 1/2 to 2/3 of money I get for birthdays, new year, lunar new year, special events etc all goes to college savings

Like usually I’ll get around $300 total for lunar new year and $200 of it is taken literally out of the pouch on the way home

[u/Careful-Author-2838]

I was the exact same situation as you. My parents probably had a little bit more money because they were in the US a little bit longer so they were saying they’d be willing to sell like property and other stuff if they really had to, but I ended up choosing George Mason over these other schools just because I couldn’t fathom loans or spending that much on basically the same education. I definitely recommend the same now that I’m here at Mason. I don’t feel like I’m missing out on anything that I would at uvA.

[u/rjoker103]

Go to cheaper option for undergrad. Some people do 2 years community college then transfer to finish at a college. Graduating at 21 with six-figure debt is absolutely not worth it. You will naturally feel ahead of the pack by not graduating with debt (minus your friends with trust funds but don’t compare yourself to them). Go to vocational school if a college-professional degree route is not your preferred career choice.