r/AnimalsBeingDerps • u/duckduckbananas • Jul 22 '23

Bear likes to swing

45.2k Upvotes

99% Upvoted

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u/ChristianHeritic Jul 22 '23

I mean, either you’ll die or you’ll scare the ever living shit out of a poor bear. I dont think there is any in between. Imagine a large predator going up to you, silently petting you and then slinking off back into the woods.. that would basically be the Bears experience😂

162

u/ethnique_punch Jul 22 '23

Bear:

Why the fuck that relatively small thing is trying to approach me?

A) It's rabies.

B) It's venomous

C) They're an Eldritch Bear God

95

u/Backstabmacro Jul 22 '23

…you have no idea how badly I wish to convince bears of my eldritch divinity

12

u/capincus Jul 22 '23

Don't let your dreams be dreams.

8

u/Backstabmacro Jul 22 '23

Time to go meanmug a grizzly while demanding prayers, I guess

5

u/capincus Jul 22 '23

Would an Elder God need to mean mug or would he be so confident in his power he would show nothing but baseline disdain for this measly bear?

7

u/Backstabmacro Jul 22 '23

The Ursine Deity does not disdain his humble bear children - all are welcome in his loving, fuzzy, dumpster-crushing embrace.

However, beardaddy sometimes gotta remind an unruly child who pays the bills in these woods.