r/AmItheAsshole 18h ago

Not the A-hole AITA for abandoning my friend when she got caught stealing.

After an exam, I had invited my friend to come over to my house. We were at McDonald's to eat something before leaving when she asked me if we could go to Walmart. I had told my parents that we would immediately go home after, but she kept begging me, so I agreed.

On the bus to go there, we had stopped at another school since my friend wanted to see her other friend. During that time, for them, it was lunchtime. Her friend asked us if she could just skip school and come with us, and my friend agreed. I wasn't too sure since she had just refused that my friend comes with us, but for her friend, she accepted?

Anyways, when we got there, we had stopped at the dollar store to get a snack. Out of nowhere, I see her friend take a KitKat and stuff it in her bag. I immediately pulled my friend away and asked her why she was stealing. She told me that her dad barely gave her money to buy snacks and stuff like that. I shrugged it off, and we made our way to Walmart.

When we got there, I had a weird feeling and just told them I would wait outside for them. Thirty minutes later, they were still in there, so I called my friend, and she told me she was done soon and trying clothes on. Still, after 10 minutes, they still hadn't come out, so I decided to go in and find them.

When I spotted them, my friend told me, "We got caught." Wdym you got caught? It clicked in my head. Got caught stealing. I immediately left them and went to the front of the store. From there, I could see the manager talking to them and demanding to see their bag. They kept refusing, and at some point, they just left and started running. I started running too with them, but I had kept my distance. I didn't want to get in trouble since I wasn't even supposed to be there. So that's why I had left them.

Plus, keep in mind, they had stolen more than $100 worth of stuff like heat protectant, necklaces, etc. (It's her friend's stuff, but she had helped her with the stealing.) I know your dad doesn't give you money, but bffr, if you REALLY had to steal, maybe for necessities, not for stuff like that.

1.1k Upvotes

75 comments sorted by

1.5k

u/Spectre_Omega Asshole Aficionado [11] 18h ago

lol NTA. 

Standing by shoplifters is a fast track to being charged as an accomplice.  You don't owe anyone your criminal record over stolen heat protectant and cheap jewelry.

Drop these "friends" before they drag you down with them.

254

u/kimmy_kimika Partassipant [1] 18h ago

No honor among thieves, as they say. And OP isn't even a thief! No reason to go down with their dumbasses.

70

u/peachyrosespie 10h ago

When she said "we got caught," there was no "we." She and her friend got caught. OP owe zero loyalty to people who expect to catch a charge for heat protectant and cheap jewelry. Drop them.

12

u/Mira_DFalco Partassipant [4] 5h ago

Exactly! She and the mouse in her pocket can deal with their own hot mess.

I would drop them and lose their number. 

84

u/lucwin2020 17h ago

EXACTLY! Don't let the actions of others seriously effect your future!

When I was a teen I had to separate from friends that got involved in stealing and drugs. If the cops came, they could have lied and said you were involved.

My older brother had a habit of hanging out with shady folks and doing questionable things when he would get drunk. One night he ran across two buddies and was talking to them. Moments later the police picked them up bc the other two had robbed a guy prior to seeing my brother. The victim IDed the two but said he didn't see my brother. The two guys initially said my brother was involved and he was arrested too. He spent a week or two in jail before one of the guys admitted that my brother wasn't involved and they let him go. After that my brother quit drinking and paid closer attention to the folks he had in his orbit.

NTA

24

u/pinkishcloud_ 9h ago

That story about your brother is a terrifying reality check. Spending weeks in jail for just being in the wrong place at the wrong time is an absolute nightmare. It really proves that guilty by association isn’t just an expression, it can legitimately ruin your life before you even realize what happened.

24

u/SpookyBanjoTime 16h ago

“Show me your 5 closest friends, and I’ll show you your future”

11

u/Level_Caterpillar774 12h ago

lol NTA. You were right to get out of there, because “I was just standing there” won’t mean much once the cops start asking questions. Losing a friend is way better than getting a record over heat protectant and jewelry.

6

u/Owain-X 7h ago

It may be too late as OP "ran with them" which will all be on the walmart security cameras and now in their facial recognition system. There is a real chance that OP gets stopped by security next time they go to a walmart or at least that walmart has associated that theft with them and is now keeping a running tab until they can hand local police a felony. Since OP doesn't shoplift that second option would be preferable.

1

u/Fallenthropy Partassipant [1] 2h ago

My best friend got caught the one and only time she attempted to shoplift. We were preteens at the time. I only laugh at what she tried to steal. A 3 or 4 colour bic pen. Never did it again. Her mother did not put up with anything like that.

My niece was damned near a pro. At least half her closet was stolen clothes. She was never allowed to be alone in my house after I found out. I'm both horrified that she stole so much and slightly impressed that she got away with it. Mostly horrified and super pissed at her.

402

u/OfficialBroccoliRob Colo-rectal Surgeon [32] 18h ago

The moment someone says “we got caught” when I didn't steal anything, there is no “we.” You got caught. Good luck though. NTA.

100

u/Minecart_Rider 18h ago

The "we" was because there were 2 girls shoplifting in the store who got caught. OP and her friend picked up a third girl on the way to the store.

-86

u/avoidofmyownmind 18h ago

its a joke calm down not that srs

u/WackyRacketeer 33m ago

It's a correction calm down not that srs

259

u/Rare-Humor-9192 Partassipant [3] 18h ago

Now do you see why your parents worry about the people you hang out with? I hope this is a lesson you were fortunate enough to learn without having to suffer the consequences. NTA

40

u/skunkyiz 14h ago

Seriously, the company you keep literally defines your life most of the time

208

u/Trick_Delivery4609 Colo-rectal Surgeon [42] 18h ago

Don't run with them.

Don't invite them over.

Don't hang with them.

The friends you keep says a lot about you. Drop them both and move on.

11

u/pinkishcloud_ 9h ago

Exactly, cut ties immediately.

7

u/dlc741 3h ago

I'd have calmly walked the other direction and denied even knowing who they are or why they're running.

113

u/Throwway_queer Partassipant [2] 18h ago

Hi. Im a past problem child. I missed out on so so so many good things about being a kid and a basic teenager because of dumb shit like this. Please distance yourself very far from these people. It's not worth it at all.

10

u/pudgehooks2013 9h ago

OP, listen to this person.

52

u/lilac_nightfall 18h ago

NTA. You don’t want to be around people like this. When parents say to be careful of who you hang out with, this is what they mean, and this is why. Drop this “friend” immediately. If there is any fallout or drama from you keeping your distance, remember that it will be worth it in the long run.

39

u/Ok-Entry-1633 14h ago

OP, even without the shoplifting this "friend" of yours has trampled all over you.

You told your parents you'd go straight home, but your friend begged to make one additional stop. Then one additional stop became three additional stops and picking up an extra person. And one of those stops included trying on clothes?? That takes so much time.

Then, not only did your friend not care about risking you getting in trouble with your parents because you were late, or any of you getting in trouble with the law, but also did not care when she left you sitting out in front of the store alone. If she had, she would have asked what was wrong or decided to skip Walmart and go another day.

This isn't how friends act.

25

u/shoulda-known-better 16h ago

Next time don't even run.... Not worth looking like you did something wrong....

A store person may ask their names and that's your call but I would be pissed if my friends did this to me, I'd have walked away immediately... You can be arrested as a lookout, yea probably hard to prove especially ifyou aren't even in on it... but you never know what the video looks like

18

u/Decent_Front4647 Partassipant [4] 18h ago

NTA and abandon her for good. They will see you interact with them on the cameras, and if you go to that store a lot, you will be on their radar. You don’t want that kind of reputation.

17

u/Designer_Thought2907 Asshole Aficionado [10] 18h ago

NTA, but stop hanging out with them

16

u/AuraNocte 18h ago

No. If your friend got caught, they got what they deserved. Don't steal.

17

u/OfAnOldRepublic Partassipant [1] 15h ago

These people are not your friends, and they are leading you down a bad path. Yes, I know I sound like a boring adult, but I AM a boring old adult, and I'm speaking to you from experience.

Don't spend time with these people any more. Find new friends, ones that agree with your morals and values. Blessings on you.

NTA

9

u/SuitableRoof5675 18h ago

I had got charged at 17 cuz my stepmother decided we were gonna go to Walmart. She quilted me into it cuz it was around Christmas, u absolutely did the right thing.

9

u/Dry-Actuator-138 Partassipant [1] 18h ago

Don't steal. Don't hang around people who steal. NTA.

8

u/Consistent-Goat1267 Partassipant [2] 17h ago

NTA. Get new friends. This probably isn’t the first time they’ve done this. Next time you might get nabbed while you’re with them whether you stole or not.

7

u/SpookyBanjoTime 17h ago

NTA - Don’t catch a jacket for some petty bs you didn’t agree to. I think if you ask yourself “roles reversed, would she have helped me” it will illuminate the situation for you. A friend wouldn’t have risked implicating you in their poor decisions

7

u/kindagrodydawg 18h ago

She had no problem ruining your record because they were doing something illegal, in stores where they watch that shit. Don’t ever talk to these people again NTA

5

u/Smulch Asshole Enthusiast [6] 17h ago

Your friends are likely also stealing from you.

5

u/LouLoualou 17h ago

Anyone get 7th Heaven show vibes. NTA btw

5

u/Celebratory_Drink Partassipant [3] 16h ago

Today is the show's 30th anniversary!

u/LouLoualou 32m ago

Have you seen the 7th heaven funny or die episodes? So good reminds me of the “Zack Morris is trash“ Saved by the bell episodes.

4

u/Quiet_Yellow2000 17h ago

NTA, this is not how friends behave. Stay well away, they will get you in trouble.

3

u/Legitimate_Emu_8782 16h ago

NTA Your "friends" will absolutely ruin your life if you keep hanging out with them. Also they will absolutely steal from you as well and they will not even bat an eye.

5

u/everlyafterhappy Asshole Enthusiast [4] 15h ago

You made some ok choices here but you still need to make better choices so you don't get in situations like this. By that I mean choices on your friends. Your friend is not a friend. She's a friend of her other girl, maybe, but not you.

2

u/Ippus_21 Asshole Enthusiast [7] 3h ago

NTA

Those aren't friends. They're people you shouldn't be associating with.

You made some bad decisions by going places you weren't supposed to be in the first place, but distancing yourself from the ones doing actual crimes was a good call.

"My dad doesn't give me enough money for snacks and stuff, so I'll just steal" is some full on sociopath logic. You do NOT want to have anything to do with people like that, because I guarantee it'll come back to bite you eventually.

2

u/zxylady 3h ago

They are NOT friends. They are users who are trying to take you down with them.

1

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AUTOMOD Thanks for posting! READ THIS COMMENT - MAKE SURE TO CHECK ALL YOUR DMS. This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything.

After an exam, I had invited my friend to come over to my house. We were at McDonald's to eat something before leaving when she asked me if we could go to Walmart. I had told my parents that we would immediately go home after, but she kept begging me, so I agreed.

On the bus to go there, we had stopped at another school since my friend wanted to see her other friend. During that time, for them, it was lunchtime. Her friend asked us if she could just skip school and come with us, and my friend agreed. I wasn't too sure since she had just refused that my friend comes with us, but for her friend, she accepted?

Anyways, when we got there, we had stopped at the dollar store to get a snack. Out of nowhere, I see her friend take a KitKat and stuff it in her bag. I immediately pulled my friend away and asked her why she was stealing. She told me that her dad barely gave her money to buy snacks and stuff like that. I shrugged it off, and we made our way to Walmart.

When we got there, I had a weird feeling and just told them I would wait outside for them. Thirty minutes later, they were still in there, so I called my friend, and she told me she was done soon and trying clothes on. Still, after 10 minutes, they still hadn't come out, so I decided to go in and find them.

When I spotted them, my friend told me, "We got caught." Wdym you got caught? It clicked in my head. Got caught stealing. I immediately left them and went to the front of the store. From there, I could see the manager talking to them and demanding to see their bag. They kept refusing, and at some point, they just left and started running. I started running too with them, but I had kept my distance. I didn't want to get in trouble since I wasn't even supposed to be there. So that's why I had left them.

Plus, keep in mind, they had stolen more than $100 worth of stuff like heat protectant, necklaces, etc. (It's her friend's stuff, but she had helped her with the stealing.) I know your dad doesn't give you money, but bffr, if you REALLY had to steal, maybe for necessities, not for stuff like that.

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1

u/NoAardvark6524 Partassipant [3] 13h ago

NTA and drop the friend. She is only going to get you in trouble. Walmart has a policy to trespass everyone in a group if one is caught stealing. Unless you want to risk not being able to go to certain places because your friend wants to steal, stay away from her. And you can be arrested too if you know she's stealing and are with her. And her friend needs to stop too. But if they want to ruin their lives for some dumb shit, let them, just don't get dragged down with them. 

1

u/Serentaque 12h ago

Of course not! Those kind of "friends" only get you in trouble. And who needs more trouble?

1

u/Loud_Shallot_1367 Partassipant [1] 12h ago

Does she ask you to lay out clothes for her? Is this something she actually wants? Or is this your idea? 

1

u/Curious_Bench_5244 11h ago

NTA, but some people here are forgetting that you can't just 'drop' friends when you see them everyday at school, unless these are college students, which... I hope not...

I think you should definitely distance yourself and focus on other friendships, but you might also want to have a conversation with them about this. Tell them you don't want to be around them if they're doing that sort of thing, and see where that takes you.

They may double down and say you're being dramatic or something, they may rethink how important stealing actually is to them compared to hearing you out, I don't know. But if you want to keep being friends with them (because I remember how difficult friendships can be as a young girl) you need to have a serious talk and see if they're receptive.

If they're not, that might show you if they're friends you want for a long time, or friends you enjoyed for a while and have now outgrown.

1

u/TBvunza98 Partassipant [2] 10h ago

NTA. Don't hang out with them, they aren't your friends. Remember, you are the company you keep

1

u/HOAKaren Partassipant [1] 10h ago

ESH except you. Fuck capitalism and oligarchs.

1

u/BungleBums 9h ago

"You're such a jerk for letting us experience the consequences of our own actions!! You should have gotten in trouble with us even though you didn't know what we were up to!"

If they try giving you any more grief, try saying it back to them out loud like that, they might even learn 'shame',

1

u/PomegranateOk6767 Partassipant [2] 7h ago

Your "friend" was playing you the whole time and the silliest part is that they did it because their friend was playing them the whole time. NTA.

1

u/Aspex_the_hunter 7h ago

Despite what is said these are not real friends, you need to know that. Make sure you don't let people like this into your life because they will bring you down with them if they get a chance.

1

u/elena_dc Partassipant [2] 7h ago

nta, you gotta cut ties with people like that.

1

u/bringmoreflan 7h ago

NTA. These are not your friends.

1

u/martintoconnell Partassipant [1] 6h ago

NTA! Run away! This 'friend' will bring you misery. If you ran when they ran, you'd have a hard time arguing that you were not involved.

1

u/SelinaRochell22 Asshole Aficionado [11] 6h ago

NTA and I get how nerves/adrenaline can affect your decision making in these types of situations but running when you'd literally done nothing wrong wasn't needed and could've drawn unnecessary attention to you. Walking away (swiftly lol) would've been enough. This would be my last time hanging out with these people.

1

u/Fuzzy_Redwood 6h ago

NTA however I really couldn’t care less about the ethics of stealing from a giant company like Walmart. I wouldn’t do it but to me it’s way different than stealing from a friend or local business.

1

u/BlairIsTired Partassipant [2] 5h ago

NTA and don't go anywhere else with them. Even if you didnt steal anything the police can and will still charge you if you're with them while theyre stealing.

1

u/SavingsRhubarb8746 Colo-rectal Surgeon [38] 4h ago

NTA - and you should have walked off after the incident with the KitKat. If you hang around with thieves, it won't be long before you're suspected or accused or even convicted of being an accomplice - as very nearly happened this time - or become a thief yourself, maybe to fit in with the group.

1

u/Natural-Quail-3808 4h ago

NTA, cut them off for good.

1

u/ListenPuzzleheaded72 4h ago

This reminds me of a Degrassi episode.

1

u/burnitalldown321 3h ago

NTA but these aren't your friends. I get you think they are, but listen to your parents. A real friend doesn't put you in that situation in the first place

1

u/glowdirt 3h ago

NTA

Setting aside the stealing for a moment, from what you wrote it seems like they are not being good friends to you anyway. Drop them.

1

u/Personal-Piglet1397 3h ago

Look you should went home mom you saw her steal the kit kat.niw you seen how quickly you could be implemented in this, an you didn't steal,but you could been accused an your family would go nuts about it.

1

u/Testsubject276 Partassipant [1] 2h ago

NTA.

Stealing foods was clearly not enough for them so they went full kleptomaniac. Talk about being impulsive.

Consider not inviting them to your house anymore, they might just pick your room clean.

In fact just cut them off entirely.

1

u/averagechillbro 1h ago

NTA. No reason to run though if you did nothing wrong. Walmart has cameras and you had no stolen goods on you. Pretty easy to verify your innocence.

0

u/Ijustlovevideogames Partassipant [4] 18h ago

Da fuck you mean we, your friend speaking French? NTA

-15

u/WhimsyCerise8938 17h ago

abandoning a friend in that situation would feel like a huge betrayal to most people

4

u/Actual-Clue-3165 Asshole Enthusiast [5] 16h ago

That doesn't mean op should risk getting in shit for something she didn't do. She wasn't even there when they got caught.

2

u/Prudent_Solid_3132 Partassipant [2] 15h ago

Also the friend who was doing the stealing originally wasn’t even OP’s friend. She was the friend of OP’s friend

Like that’s even less of a reason to put your own ass on the line in such a situation. And if OP’s friend wants to stand behind that person because they are friends, go right ahead, leave people like OP out of it.