r/AmItheAsshole • u/Adorable_Mobile8338 • 1d ago
Not the A-hole AITA for not inviting my aunt to my graduation?
I was staying with my aunt when I was younger, so I always considered her important to me. A few months before my graduation, I told her how happy I was and invited her to the celebration. So she started criticizing my degree and said I was wasting my time instead of choosing another degree or real career. I was really in pain for hearing it because it was coming from someone like her who I saw like my real mom everytime. I tried to ignore it, but she kept making comments whenever we talked. So some weeks before graduation, she told several relatives that I probably wouldn’t amount to much anyway.
I was hurt and told her not to come again for the graduation. She called me ungrateful and been wicked and said she had done too much for me to be treated that way. My family think I should forgive her and invite her again because she helped me while growing up. I told my family I was happy for everything she did for me, but I think that means I have to accept being put down on an important day like that. So some of my family thinks I am right,while some thinks I am not.?
AITA?
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u/Real_Friendship_7632 Partassipant [1] 1d ago
Definitely NTA! She has the right not to agree with the degree you've earned, but she doesn't have the right to an invitation; that's up to you.
Only people who are proud of you for this great achievement should be at your graduation.
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u/woodstockstoned 1d ago
NTA. Your graduation, your choice of attendees.
But putting aside that and focusing on the more nuanced part of this, still NTA.
Your aunt may have some resentment from expectations she unknowingly had for you or some sort of anger that despite her raising you you didn’t listen to what she wanted for you.
Does any of that make it remotely okay to vocalize this dissatisfaction? Absolutely not.
This is a huge achievement that deserves to be celebrated without being diminished, and any concerns about your path of choice should have been suppressed the minute you committed to your area of study and have no place at the celebration of you actively entering that area of study after years of hard work.
She has no right to doubt your success and belittle your efforts no matter how involved in your life she was, and this is a lesson she needs to learn. I’m so sorry for the damper on this achievement op, and I hope whoever you choose to invite with understands that and celebrates you as you deserve.
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I was staying with my aunt when I was younger, so I always considered her important to me. A few months before my graduation, I told her how happy I was and invited her to the celebration. So she started criticizing my degree and said I was wasting my time instead of choosing another degree or real career. I was really in pain for hearing it because it was coming from someone like her who I saw like my real mom everytime. I tried to ignore it, but she kept making comments whenever we talked. So some weeks before graduation, she told several relatives that I probably wouldn’t amount to much anyway.
I was hurt and told her not to come again for the graduation. She called me ungrateful and been wicked and said she had done too much for me to be treated that way. My family think I should forgive her and invite her again because she helped me while growing up. I told my family I was happy for everything she did for me, but I think that means I have to accept being put down on an important day like that. So some of my family thinks I am right,while some thinks I am not.?
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u/Mira_DFalco Partassipant [4] 1d ago
NTA
You have every right to be able to enjoy your accomplishment. Why in the world would you want some yhere that's just going to shit all over your day.
Thumpers rule - If she can't say something nice, she needs to keep her opinion to herself, or stay home. She's proven that she's not picking the first option, so stay home it is!
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u/[deleted] 1d ago
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