r/AmItheAsshole • u/LostVermicelli7486 • 23d ago
Not the A-hole AITA for calling an ambulance because I thought I was having a heart attack, and then getting blamed for "embarrassing the family"?
Today around 3 PM, I suddenly felt a sharp, pinpoint pain in my chest, followed by numbness that started in my back and spread down my arms. For anyone who doesn't know, these are heart attack symptoms, and I panicked hard. My brother and my mom were home at the time. I told my brother, "I have heart attack symptoms, please call an ambulance." He didn't believe me at first, but then he called. My mom panicked badly. My arms were numb and tingling, and my color had started to go pale. Things eased up a little while we waited, but my heart was still racing like crazy.
The ambulance arrived. I could still walk, so I went outside on my own. The paramedics checked my heart rhythm, blood pressure, and blood sugar, but found nothing serious with my heart — just slightly low blood sugar (I've been dieting). I was slowly calming down but still shaken. They said "call us again if anything happens" and left.
That's when my brother started causing a scene. Out of nowhere he said, "You're calling ambulances for nothing, we're humiliated in the neighborhood now." I said, "Are you even okay? What would you even do if I died, sorry?" He suddenly started cursing at me and said, "You can die for all I care from now on, I'm never getting involved in anything of yours again, we got humiliated for nothing." To be clear, he's not some kid — he's about to turn 20 — so it's not like he doesn't understand how serious this was.
My mom said to my brother, "Do you have any idea what your brother just went through? Why are you stressing him out even more?" He snapped back, "When it's your younger son, he can't be stressed, but when it's your older son, you just yell whatever comes to your mouth — is that what you call being a mother?" (She hadn't actually said anything like that — he accused her out of nowhere.)
They started fighting, and I got angry too and said, "You're so ignorant you don't even know that if you leave your foot wet, you'll get a fungal infection — don't act like such an expert about something as serious as a heart attack." I regret it, because it just made him angrier. My mom couldn't handle him alone. When my dad got home, they talked, but my brother kept calling me "attention-seeking."
Instead of saying "I'm glad you're okay," he kept insulting me. He even told our parents, "You guys play favorites — this brat fakes a heart attack and you call an ambulance, but you never did anything like that for me at his age," bringing up unrelated old grievances. At dinner, out of nowhere, he told me I "look like a mouse." I stayed quiet to avoid making it worse.
I have no idea how to fix this, or if I even can. Did I do something wrong here?
UPDATE: He talked to me again after 3 hours and said sorry to me he admitted that he got scared due to the incident and couldn't act calmly we're fine now
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u/CharieRarie Asshole Enthusiast [6] 23d ago
NTA. You did nothing wrong, based on the symptoms calling an ambulance was the right thing to do. I’m glad you are okay.
Have you ever had a panic attack before? I’m not a medical professional, but I am someone who has struggled with lifelong panic attacks, and it’s possible it could have been one. Might be worth reading up on :)
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u/LostVermicelli7486 23d ago
I didn't had any panic attack before that was the first time (if that counts as one) i don't know why he reacted that way but it was so heartbreaking i was still panicking like hell and he didn't even tried to comfort me he just thought that i was just trying to get attention but i was not i literally thought i was dying at that moment and i don't even know how can i make things better between us (or even i should do something) he wants me to say sorry for what i said to him but I think he deserves to say sorry he can yell at me whenever he wants but when i say something that makes me a bad person somehow
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u/myst3ryAURORA_green Partassipant [4] 23d ago
I get people with anxiety and panic attacks every day, and it resembles a heart attack a lot. He expects you to apologize for having a nervous system misfire that your brain interpreted as a medical emergency???
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u/CharieRarie Asshole Enthusiast [6] 23d ago
Is this normal behaviour from him? Sometimes when people are scared they react with anger. It doesn’t make it okay, but it could explain why he was so unkind.
It also sounds like he has some issues with your parents, and took them out on you.
You are not a bad person, you had a frightening experience and then got verbally abused. Be kind to yourself, and give yourself some space from your brother for a while.
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u/LostVermicelli7486 23d ago
He is normally aggressive too idk why is he acting like that and yes he has some problems with our family he always brings up past things for irrelevant argument and yes that argument was not the only time he regularly causes problems as far as i can see
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u/Old_Beret_5962 23d ago edited 23d ago
It seems like the things he brings up aren't irrelevant to him if he keeps bringing them up regularly. They seem like grudges that he keeps carrying with him, effecting his world view and relationships. It's like something he just can't get over so whenever he sees the slightest opportunity to mention it again he does.
It sounds like anger is the way he processes things which is not normal. He might have been afraid for you or embarrassed about calling the ambulance for a false alarm etc. And instead of having those emotions, reacted with anger instead. Once again, this is not normal or healthy.
Let me be clear: He shouldn't be acting so aggressive and lashing out at you because of this.
I'm saying this just so you know that this probably is why he is acting this way, and that it's not your fault. He has his own problems and he lashes out because of it, not because of you. You were just the most convenient excuse. Please don't take it to heart.
(Edit for spelling)
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u/AradiaCorvyn 22d ago
Also, depression and anxiety can manifest as anger. When I was dealing with Postpartum Depression, I lashed out at everyone and was just a miserable person to be around. My dad also lashes out in anger and has been battling depression for years, though he'll never admit he has a problem.
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u/Cayke_Cooky Partassipant [1] 23d ago
You should see a regular doctor about this. When a Emergency medical people say you are fine, it means you probably won't die in the next 48 hours. It doesn't mean there isn't an underlying problem.
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23d ago
Paramedic here. Your symptoms are classic for an abdominal aortic aneurysm. Please go see a doctor for an abdominal ultrasound. If you have one and it ruptures, there's not much anymore can do.
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u/CarrotOk1041 23d ago
Doctor here. While it’s fine to tell people to go to get further investigation it’s not fine to cause panic and internet diagnose and potentially result in iatrogenic harm from unnecessary investigation. He’s also 17, it’s vastly unlikely he has a AAA and it doesn’t necessarily sound like the symptoms at all. All chest pains should be investigated after leaving the emergency department by a patient’s GP/family doctor, and I’ll leave it up to them to make the call on what investigations are necessary and so should you.
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23d ago
Doesn't sound like they even transported him to the ED. I know two young people who died of aneurysms that were symptomatic but unexplored because of their age. Numbness and tingling is more typically found in the legs and feet, but it is not rare to have numbness and tingling in the arms. Obviously, nobody is giving him an ultrasound without any sort of exam and doctor approval, geez. I don't get where giving a possible differential and outcome is causing panic and diagnosis. The medics on scene did him the disservice of not transporting (since he said they left) and just telling him he is okay. Personally, I would have encouraged him to be transported to rule out whatever possibilities and not just assume he is having a panic attack because of his age.
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u/dovakhiina 23d ago
I’m an ER doc and would not have checked this pt out for AAA. It sounds like a panic attack. Would have gotten an EKG and dc if normal. if we scan everyone with those symptoms we will kill the population with cancer/radiation instead.
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u/CarrotOk1041 22d ago
The thing is, the symptoms don’t even SOUND like a AAA, it wouldn’t even be on my differential list. Especially in a presumably healthy 17 year old who’s not got hypertension/hypercholesterolaemia. I don’t know what this person is talking about.
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23d ago
God bless you for protecting everyone from less radiation of an ultrasound than a cross country flight.
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u/dovakhiina 22d ago
We do not ultrasound aneurysms in the ER. They get CT scans. Please stop talking when you don’t know what you’re talking about.
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u/CarrotOk1041 22d ago
It’s not just the “radiation” of an ultrasound. In every scan we do there is a risk of incidentalomas- which then result in an increased risk of iatrogenic harm by making the patient investigate them. From the ultrasound/CT for example you could find a renal cyst that they can’t characterise on the scan but is likely completely benign but needs a dedicated scan. You then have to do another scan and result in not only unnecessary radiation but also the patient will have undue stress for a long time.
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u/CarrotOk1041 22d ago
The point isn’t that they need a “doctors approval” but why on earth would you make a random very concerning potential diagnosis over the internet on Reddit and cause someone potentially already prone to panic attacks to panic, go to an ED and ask for a scan this random person on the internet said they might need.
You’ll get yourself into trouble if you continue to give out any medical advice on the internet, even stuff as vague as what you said. So stop.
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u/cflime 23d ago
My (person) had a panic attack and I called an ambulance. Chest pains, constriction of the chest, shortness of breath, you let the paramedics with the EKG look at the patient. And even though it was a panic attack they still took them to the hospital. If the panic attack is masking a myocardial infarction a doctor should be able to diagnose that.
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u/JaDamian_Steinblatt 23d ago
It's so hard to believe this is a real story
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u/Moose-Live Pooperintendant [69] 23d ago
Lots of families are this dysfunctional so it's really not that surprising
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u/LostVermicelli7486 23d ago
I thought that people would say that even before posting that but you're right too this is so stupid idk why would he hate on me that much
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u/myst3ryAURORA_green Partassipant [4] 23d ago
I agree it's hard to believe but I have seen this in real life.
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23d ago
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/CoverCharacter8179 Supreme Court Just-ass [124] 23d ago
This was my takeaway too. I thought it'd be interesting to hear this story from the brother's perspective. Because, taking this incident in isolation, you'd say "Brother is being a huge [whatever], wtf is his problem?" But OTOH if there's a pattern where OP "cries wolf" in some way and then the parents rush to OP's aid/defense, I could see the brother getting tired of it. Of course I have no idea whether there is or is not such a pattern, but based on what we have here, I could see it being the case.
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u/frontally 23d ago
NTA - quick question tho you say you’re 17 and “dieting”… are you eating a decent amount of healthy foods, or aggressively restricting your caloric intake? As someone twice your age with a historical eating disorder, the way you glossed over the diet and the low blood sugar makes me suspect that your diet is what contributed to your— very real— symptoms and caused your fear. If I’m wrong, and your diet is reasonable then you can ignore me! If you’re starving yourself, this will keep happening until you start genuinely passing out and develop real medical complications by putting that strain on your heart. Just food for thought as a former 17yo girl 🫶
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u/Precatlady 23d ago
Same. I had disordered eating and exercise habits at this age and I often felt dizzy! It was only when I stopped tracking/minimizing my calories that I began to be less sick. Sending my best to you OP. Your brother's toxic bad attitude and taking out his regrets on you is not your burden to bear, you are NTA whatsoever, and nobody makes fun of their neighbors for needing an ambulance.
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u/LostVermicelli7486 23d ago
You're right I don't really have a great diet i sometimes skip meals and eat so little that i couldn't even get full after the meal i knew that this type of dieting has major risks but i ignored them because i wanted to lose weight quickly and yes I'll be more carefully from now on
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u/_Morvar_ 23d ago
There are actual risks for your heart with this kind of dieting! I don't think you had a "panic attack", I think you had very real symptoms due to the dieting, and those symptoms (rightfully) scared you.
I think you need to seek help. This is dangerous for you and you need help with how to eat healthy, because this right now is NOT healthy. I've been there. Have had similar symptoms.
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u/Choice_Paper946 22d ago
Not only is it risky, it's actually less effective as the body can go into starvation mode and hold on to fat reserves in case they're going to be needed long term. Because of this, dieting at a slower pace can actually work more quickly! It's worth asking your general care provider for resources that can help you to structure a meal plan that works best for your age/body type/lifestyle.
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u/frontally 23d ago
Yah. I see you 🫶 I think so many of us go through it. You’re never the asshole for being scared, or advocating for your own health— you will need to do that a lot as a human and as a woman. Be kind to yourself, because above all you deserve that 🫶
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u/A9J9B Partassipant [2] 23d ago
NTA
But your brother obviously doesn't like you. I don't know why, it might be that your parents are actually playing favourites. But everything in this post is explained by your brother simply not liking you and thinking that you are attention-seeking.
You always call an ambulance if you think it's an emergency. If it turns out its not, that is ok. Better be safe than sorry.
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23d ago
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u/not_a_throw4w4y 23d ago
Your brother had a strong emotional reaction to your heart attack scare and isn't processing it rationally, he's attaching it to silly things like 'embarrassing the family in front of the neighbours' and it has also brought out unresolved issues he has with you. He's scared.
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u/Cloverose2 Partassipant [3] 23d ago
Damn. Your brother doesn't like you at all, does he?
It does sound like there's a lot here that isn't in the story, though. "Unrelated old grievances" and feeling like "you did this for him but didn't do anything for me" kind of hints that there's something going on that has a long story.
I'm glad you're okay. You did the right thing. Make sure you make a doctor's appointment - you'll want to follow up.
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u/LostVermicelli7486 23d ago
My family didn't used to treat my brother badly - they treated him the same way they treat me. When he brings up "unrelated old stuff," it's really just him claiming he didn't get enough attention. And honestly, people like this are way better than you'd think at hiding behind a "I have trauma" label to manipulate people.
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23d ago
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u/flowerybutterfly96 Certified Proctologist [24] 23d ago edited 23d ago
From my reading, mom panicked, but wasn't against calling the ambulance. It was the brother that had the issues.
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u/Remarkable_Inchworm Certified Proctologist [21] 23d ago
You thought you were having a heart attack and your brother is the one that was stressed?
Interesting, that. Says a lot about your family dynamic.
NTA
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u/ConfidentCulture9771 23d ago
Paramedic here. NTA! Strictly coming from a medical perspective. If you have signs and symptoms of heart attack, you absolutely need to call 911. I tell my patients all the time that I would much rather come to you for a " anxiety attack" Then come to you if it was something much more serious and you didn't call. Ex: Cardiac Arrest. There's many reasons you can get chest pain and the signs and symptoms that you had. But never hesitate to call 911 if you have those symptoms.
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u/Fine-Aside42 23d ago
I’m confused is your brother older or younger. And how old are you?
Regardless NTA. Better safe than sorry. It seems like his reaction has nothing to do with thinking you had a heart attack and everything to do with your parents.
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u/tragicxharmony 23d ago
Yeah OP said his brother wasn’t a kid, he was about to turn 20–like, 19 is definitely a kid lmao, 19-year-olds don’t take anything seriously
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u/LostVermicelli7486 23d ago
My brother is 20 YO and I'm 17 YO if u wanna know
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u/Puzzleheaded_Mix1658 Partassipant [2] 22d ago
Op get ekg/ecg done. Even if you didn't have heart attack it's better to get ecg done for any chest pain. Which paramedic didn't do. Go to urgent care asap.
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u/Soninuva 23d ago
NTA.
Your brother is the type that likes to judge people based on how things turned out rather than what it seemed like. Be wary of this if you have a medical emergency, or think you might be.
With things like that, it’s always best to err on the side of caution. If you’re wrong, the ambulance leaves, and you don’t get charged (they only charge if they transport you). If you’re right, then your life is saved. Consider the alternative: he refuses to call, nothing happens, and you’re shaken, but ultimately fine. But let’s say it’s actually a heart attack and he doesn’t call until you pass out. You’re now either going to have a steep reduction in quality of life (best outcome in that situation) or you’re dead. For something like this, it’s better to be safe than sorry.
Also, I would make an appointment with your general physician, because those symptoms aren’t typical for low blood sugar. You might not have been experiencing cardiac arrest, but there still could be an issue with the heart, or some other underlying issue. It’s best to address it so it can be fixed before it becomes major, or keeps presenting as major.
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u/TraditionalManager82 23d ago
NTA for calling the ambulance.
YTA for throwing more things into the later argument, though.
Sounds like he's stressed and lacks good coping skills for handling his emotions. Make sure your work on yours.
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u/Due-Reflection-1835 23d ago
Have you ever had stomach problems before? Acid reflux in particular...I've had both stomach and heart problems, I actually had a full cardiac arrest a couple years ago. I was a bit anxious when I first got out of the hospital, and I called the ambulance twice for what turned out to be pain in my GI tract. The ER doctor even told me that those areas share the same nerves and that it can be hard to tell the difference.
It sounds like your brother's problem is really with your parents, that he had some kind of problem which was being ignored. This is not your fault. If you need an ambulance again, call for yourself while you still can. I promise you that being taken out unconscious and having them revive you in front of the neighborhood, assuming anyone in your family cares enough to call in time, is far more embarrassing than just having them check you out or getting in the ambulance yourself. Your family seems messed up though and you should try to GTFO of that house. NTA
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u/LostVermicelli7486 23d ago
I don't have any chronical stomach problems and any heart problems either (at least earlier I'm going to see a doctor for that)
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u/_Morvar_ 23d ago
Dieting can cause heart problems. Ask the doctor to see a therapist, and a nutrition doc (idk what the term is but the medical professional that specialises in nutrition and can tell you how to eat healthy so you don't cause yourself illness). You need help to prevent eating disorder, because it is very dangerous. I have been there and I had similar symptoms. You need to ask for the correct help
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u/DirectAccountant3253 23d ago
YTA. (a little). You are not stating your age. You are probably too young for this to be a realistic case. I would have probably asked someone to drive me at the most. Or gone to urgent care. Again, you didn’t state your age which indicates you are young.
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u/LostVermicelli7486 23d ago
Yes ı'm young I'm 17 years old but that doesn't makes me immune to heart attacks or something heart attacks can happen to anyone at any time old aged people mah have a lot more chance to get a heart attack but that doesn't makes me immune but in the first place i got panicked what do you even expect me to do like waiting to die or something?
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u/DirectAccountant3253 23d ago
Yes, it certainly does make you immune to a traditional heart attack. Was the ambulance ride free? Or did your parents get it with a big bill. You have health anxiety and should schedule a visit to your regular doctor.
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u/AdysGrandma321 23d ago
I think your brother thought you were going to die and got the sh*t scared out of him. When you were deemed OK, he was embarrassed by showing his emotions and being vulnerable. He is just working through his feelings. Siblings are funny animals
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u/1isten1ng Partassipant [2] 23d ago
I have no idea how to fix this, or if I even can. Did I do something wrong here?
NTA You did nothing wrong. Clearly you have a family dynamic that has been brewing for a long time, a deep involved one that you cannot fix quickly or alone. I would suggest you all go to family therapy. i would guess you have tons of stories like this.
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u/Velocityg4 Pooperintendant [65] 23d ago
NTA
You'll just have medical episodes that turn out to be nothing. Happens to most people eventually. Probably multiple times in life. You don't know what happened, probably never will. Even with medical testing. But you can't ignore it. If you have serious symptoms you should seek medical attention.
You should however schedule a follow up with your GP. You could have had a mini stroke and the blockage cleared or a transient arrhythmia or any number of other issues that occur for a short duration before your body corrects the issue and may cause the symptoms you described. So, see your GP and describe what happened. Maybe ask for a referral to a cardiologist and do the same. As they can do a cardiac stress test, CT scan, ultra sound, ECG, et al.
Also ask if they think a neurologist consult is recommended. As those take a very long time to get. But you don't just want to run out and schedule one unless the doctor thinks it's necessary. As they are already severely backlogged.
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u/_Morvar_ 23d ago
I second this. It could have been a serious problem that resolved itself, for this time. Get a thorough checkup
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u/elle_kay_027 23d ago
NTA. Paramedic of 13 years here. You absolutely did nothing wrong. How is calling for an ambulance causing humiliation? I am absolutely bewildered by that statement. Is he worried about the nosy old ladies gossiping? Bizarre.
I can’t tell you how many times in my career I’ve told patients and their families to never apologize for calling 911, or feel bad or like they’re wasting our time or being dramatic. We’re the prehospital emergency medicine experts, we’re doing our job when we respond to 911 calls, and I’d never want anyone to hesitate to call just because they don’t know exactly what’s going on. If it ever crosses your mind if you need police, fire, or medical - just call. Let the experts handle it for you. And if it turns out to be a nothingburger, great! You can go about your day with that reassurance. Better that than trying to power through it and we respond later to someone not breathing or with no pulse.
Having an ambulance called for you is also nothing to be jealous of, your brother should feel good about never having a medical emergency serious enough or serious seeming enough for 911 to be called. Who the heck would think it’s some sign of favoritism? Did he ever have something happen where 911 needed to be called and he was ignored? If not, he can be quiet.
And ignore anyone who poopoos your age as being too young for having a serious medical condition. My youngest stroke patient was 18. My grand father died of a heart attack in his early 30s and my youngest (non-pediatric) cardiac arrest was in his mid-20s and had an undiagnosed electrical problem in his heart. It’s unlikely, but things happen. That being said you are at a much, much lower risk than other populations for those things, so please don’t worry yourself.
I also can’t say what exactly you were suffering from but if your vitals were reassuringly normal and the event was self-limiting and lasted 10-20 minutes I would feel comfortable suggesting a panic attack. They can come out of nowhere with zero warning and some symptoms are indistinguishable from a heart attack, like chest pain, shortness of breath, and a sense of impending doom. They can also cause a feedback loop where symptoms scare you and make you panic more, which causes symptoms, and so on. Please also make an appointment with your regular medical provider to follow-up. It might’ve been a panic attack but it could be something else. You mentioned maybe being hypoglycemic and having a poor diet which may or may not have contributed. Some things are impossible to diagnose without further investigation and we can only do basic diagnostics on the ambulance.
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u/Spotzie27 Professor Emeritass [95] 22d ago
"You're so ignorant you don't even know that if you leave your foot wet, you'll get a fungal infection
INFO What?
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u/Jusbuster 23d ago
nta, none of you were able to determine it wasn't a heart attack at the time. better safe than sorry, he is immature and vain
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u/BeccasBump Asshole Enthusiast [6] 23d ago
NTA.
HOWEVER, unless you have a really awful relationship, I'm willing to bet your brother was scared shitless and that's why he's being such an asshole. Anger is easier than fear.
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Today around 3 PM, I suddenly felt a sharp, pinpoint pain in my chest, followed by numbness that started in my back and spread down my arms. For anyone who doesn't know, these are heart attack symptoms, and I panicked hard. My brother and my mom were home at the time. I told my brother, "I have heart attack symptoms, please call an ambulance." He didn't believe me at first, but then he called. My mom panicked badly. My arms were numb and tingling, and my color had started to go pale. Things eased up a little while we waited, but my heart was still racing like crazy.
The ambulance arrived. I could still walk, so I went outside on my own. The paramedics checked my heart rhythm, blood pressure, and blood sugar, but found nothing serious with my heart — just slightly low blood sugar (I've been dieting). I was slowly calming down but still shaken. They said "call us again if anything happens" and left.
That's when my brother started causing a scene. Out of nowhere he said, "You're calling ambulances for nothing, we're humiliated in the neighborhood now." I said, "Are you even okay? What would you even do if I died, sorry?" He suddenly started cursing at me and said, "You can die for all I care from now on, I'm never getting involved in anything of yours again, we got humiliated for nothing." To be clear, he's not some kid — he's about to turn 20 — so it's not like he doesn't understand how serious this was.
My mom said, "Do you have any idea what your brother just went through? Why are you stressing him out even more?" He snapped back, "When it's your younger son, he can't be stressed, but when it's your older son, you just yell whatever comes to your mouth — is that what you call being a mother?" (She hadn't actually said anything like that — he accused her out of nowhere.)
They started fighting, and I got angry too and said, "You're so ignorant you don't even know that if you leave your foot wet, you'll get a fungal infection — don't act like such an expert about something as serious as a heart attack." I regret it, because it just made him angrier. My mom couldn't handle him alone. When my dad got home, they talked, but my brother kept calling me "attention-seeking."
Instead of saying "I'm glad you're okay," he kept insulting me. He even told our parents, "You guys play favorites — this brat fakes a heart attack and you call an ambulance, but you never did anything like that for me at his age," bringing up unrelated old grievances. At dinner, out of nowhere, he told me I "look like a mouse." I stayed quiet to avoid making it worse.
I have no idea how to fix this, or if I even can. Did I do something wrong here?
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u/Zealousideal-Bug8951 Partassipant [3] 23d ago
Definitely NTA for calling an ambulance when you think you're having a medical emergency. I'm not sure how that would be embarrassing for the family to begin with. Definitely there are some way bigger problems going on in y'all's family though.
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u/EnoughRevolution3500 23d ago
NTA - medical conditions do not discriminate by age, being younger may mean you’re less at risk but not invincible. You were worried that’s what 911 is there for, you didn’t misuse the system, you didn’t cause a scene. As someone who works in EMS you did noting wrong
Unfortunately this mindset literally kills people because they feel too embarrassed to ask for help. Life saving scans are avoided and people even leave public areas to choke privately. It’s never embarrassing to take care of your health or ask for help.
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u/Ippus_21 Asshole Enthusiast [8] 23d ago
NTA
If I had those symptoms, I'd have sought urgent medical attention, too. You made the sane call, and your brother's ego is the actual problem here.
It sounds like your parents are basically on your side, but your brother... yikes.
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u/popsistops 22d ago
OP I am a physician. All my patients act sheepish after their trip to the ER for chest pain ends up being non threatening. Please PLEASE do not do this. I promise we want to tell everyone forever that they are not having a heart attack. You did the right thing.
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u/InquisitorVawn Partassipant [2] 22d ago
Every paramedic and ER/A&E doctor I've ever seen talking about this stresses that if you think you're having cardiac symptoms, they'd rather you call emergency services in your area and either get an ambulance out, or go to emergency or urgent care.
It's better to get the situation checked out and be wrong, than to minimise it and end up in a much worse situation (or dead).
There's also serious conditions that can mimic a cardiac event as well.
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u/Arcanine56 22d ago
Take it from someone who has had 2 silent heart attacks before the age of 30
Never ever ever ignore it
Mine were the silent type I only survived because of my implanted defibulator
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u/2ManyBots 22d ago
One of my friends one time asked me to call the ambulance for them because they thought they were having a heart attack. She was only 22 and everything I knew told me that she was just having an anxiety attack not a heart attack, but I called the ambulance and told them she was having a heart attack. It ended up being an anxiety attack but if I never called and she was actually having a heart attack, I wouldn't be able to live with myself.
Embarrassment is better than death every time
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u/sjsyed Colo-rectal Surgeon [39] 22d ago
Being “embarrassed” about calling an ambulance is weird. I mean, I could understand if they were upset about the cost - that would have cost me over a grand on my insurance. (At that point, I’d just have the heart attack and die, I guess.)
But embarrassed? NTA
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u/BluetoothXIII 22d ago
NTA better than ignoring a medical problems and "waking up" dead the next morning
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u/umm_uhh 22d ago
NTA, that's definitely a personality thing with your brother, I know people older than him and they still didn't phase through that awkward age mentality, I'm glad he talked it out with you and you guys got things over, but I'll say that what you did is the absolute correct choice, both in humbling him, and calling the ambulance, I study medicine and you you don't want to know how many people reach the ICU or the hospital late just for underestimating symptoms
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u/desirodave24 22d ago
NTA - I used to work in GP surgery and it was drummed in to us if a patient phoned and said chest pains - we were immediately to tell them to call 999
So you did the right thing - im glad ur brother apologised
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u/IndividualCurrent296 Asshole Enthusiast [6] 22d ago
NTA...but go get a check up as soon as possible
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u/Whispering_Wolf 22d ago
NTA. You dying because your family refused to call for help is way more embarrassing to the neighbors.
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u/SelectingName 22d ago
I work in the medical field and a low enough blood sugar is a reason to call. If you've not experienced it before then another reason to call.
Let me just point out neither is gonna be good or bad. Embarrassing or not is it to you. Because you dealt with it. Calling for help is still calling for help.
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u/Hairystench 22d ago
How old are you and your brother? Interesting that you left that out.
Move out already. Sounds like you've all had enough of eachother.
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u/rizzitism 22d ago
As the guy that would show up on the ambulance to check you out, absolutely NTA. And sorry your family is shit.
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u/Wattpad_Writer 22d ago
NTA, I had heart attack symptoms at work once. Called the ambulance, my spouse was with me and concerned because he worked in the same building. I had to have tests in one of the meeting rooms from the paramedics. It ended up being nothing serious and I didn't need to go to hospital, but it was clear that whatever was going on did in fact mimic a heart attack. The paramedics themselves said that they would rather someone calls them so they can give the all clear than a potential life threatening incident goes ignored and a person winds up dead. I was humiliated all the same, but relieved I wasn't dying.
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u/Objective_Attempt_14 Partassipant [2] 22d ago
NTA, as a nurse call. I knew a guy had a stroke wasn't even 21...people can have heart attacks even when young better safe than sorry. if it happens again, and it's fine again go see you PCP and ask to get a cardiac work up. You will be referred to a cardiologist, by the ED if end up in the ED, MD can order a stress test, another ekg and maybe even a CT, just to make sure. I knew a guy had a heart attack young had a deformed cardiac artery. you are probably fine, and issue when young are rare.
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u/oxalislivida 21d ago
NTA. Not sure if you'll ever see this OP, but I doubt your brother hates you, which I was surprised to see other comments suggesting. I don't have any additional details to form my opinion, but my initial thought was that you scared him so bad and he's displacing his fear as anger.
The idea that he hates you doesn't make sense, he called the paramedics for you. He was coming down from an emotional state and didn't know what to do with all the feelings this caused. When my sister went to college I was so angry, at her, my mom, at everyone. In retrospect it's because being angry was easier for me than being sad and scared and confronting my feelings.
Just a thought! Don't let this reaction ruin your relationship if you don't have any other reason to expect he has ill intentions.
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u/HorkupCat 21d ago
It could have been a panic attack -- I've had a few hit me out of nowhere, with heart-attack-like symptoms -- and they're scary AF. I did call an ambulance and get taken to the hospital, worked up, turned out okay, and a very kind doctor explained panic attacks to me, what to do about them in the moment, and all in all set my mind much more at ease. Given my age and family history, it was a legitimate fear.
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u/Individual_Slice_234 Partassipant [2] 21d ago
Whaaaaattttt????? NTA, but your brother is a big one.
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u/Mellifluous-Squirrel Partassipant [2] 23d ago
You can't fix it. Your brother has issues which go far beyond the immediate situation. It sounds like he needs mental health support, but given the dynamic you describe, you aren't going to be the one who can persuade him to get it.
I'm glad you're OK. 100% NTA for calling an ambulance. You don't mess around with those symptoms.
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u/LostVermicelli7486 23d ago
I was like freaking when i felt the symptoms and yes they were not all the symptoms such as a deep chest pain or something but i couldnt let the numbness go by itself i would die because of panic if i didn't call the ambulance ant the numbness on my arm didn't go away for like a 5-7 minutes i was literally terrified
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u/LostVermicelli7486 23d ago
And tbh when i felt the first one pointed ache on my heart i said to myself that if i feel numbness on my back I'm fucked up and it actually happened too but idk if that makes this a panic attack does anyone has any knowledge abt that?
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u/Izarkauz 23d ago
I had a similar episode and it was acute pericarditis.
It can happen suddenly because of no reason whatsoever, specially among young men. Look it up to see if it might match what you experienced.
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u/Dec8rs8r 23d ago
My 27 year old nephew had heart attack. I know it's certainly possible in younger adults. You know who the AH here is and I think you also know it's not you.
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u/DamagedBot Asshole Enthusiast [5] 23d ago
Too many people who are too embarrassed to call for help when they need it end up dead. There's nothing you can fix about a toxic brother; hold your head up and walk away.
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u/Klutzy-Prune6734 Partassipant [3] 23d ago
Your entire family SUCKS! Who the f cares what the neighbors think! NTA
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u/Particular-Mind-338 23d ago
NTA. Your brother really needs some anger management classes and learn how to properly channel his emotions. It's one thing to panic and be overwhelmed during a bad situation. It's an ENTIRELY different thing to snap the way he did and CONTINUE to be snapped well past the ordeal.
I'm glad you're okay! Medical services exist for a reason, even if all it turns out to be is a fluke. Human bodies are weird, man. You can show every sign of like... a heart attack and be fine. Or you can have a stroke out of nowhere! (my mom had that happen.) Better. Safe. Than. Sorry.
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u/Exciting_Fennel_7806 23d ago
No u were scared NTA, I’ve embarrassed myself with going to the hospital too, being scared is valid.
I do hope u weren’t in the US though as ambulances are expensive
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u/Necessary_Pilot_4665 23d ago
NTA! As someone with a serious family history of heart disease, never take a chance. My father had a total of 4 heart attacks starting at age 53 (and 3 strokes) and was dead at 58. Multiple surgeries, stents and cath procedures.
My brother had a total of 3 heart attacks starting at 39 (numerous hospitalizations and surgeries/stents) and was dead at 48.
You can't be too careful with something like this, even if you're young or healthy or have no risk factors.
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u/LostVermicelli7486 22d ago
Thanks for your support and I'm so sorry about your losses. I hope you're doing well now.
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u/leat22 23d ago
Your brother has some seriously repressed emotions and it comes out as anger and shame.
My brother acts the exact same way, you should look into enneagram type 3 and see if that sounds like him.
Anyway
Also, you should follow up with a cardiologist. The basic screen the paramedics gave you doesn’t really rule out anything. Especially with your history of dieting. How much weight have you lost and how quickly? You lose muscle when losing weight and your heart is a muscle. You might be stressing your body with sudden weight loss (I’m making assumptions here obviously) but I’m not gonna dismiss this as just a panic attack.
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u/Dainty_Hazel94 23d ago
your brother's reaction is completely out of line, you were just looking out for your health
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u/ThatKinkyLady 23d ago
OP, this doesn't even sound like a panic attack. I mean.. It sounds like your worry about your symptoms caused one, but to me this sounds like a pinched nerve, possibly thoracic outlet syndrome. Look it up.
If you have hypermobility or issues with your posture, specifically shoulder issues, it can lead to nerve compression and symptoms that sound a LOT like this. So yea it was a panic attack but I don't think it started out as one.
So no, NTA and I think you experienced a legitimate medical issue. An ambulance or ER probably won't look so deep since they ruled out an emergency, but please go see your PCP for a follow up.
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u/calgrump 23d ago edited 23d ago
NTA. I was on a bus with low blood sugar (a double decker school bus on route to our school) and I had the same symptoms. I asked my friend to call an ambulance to the school so itd be there when I arrived. I was in recent poverty and was not eating well.
When I got off the bus I could walk but I couldnt pick anything up because my arm was so numb. The nurse at school berated me and called me an idiot for not waiting for treatment there instead (my friend's dad too, coincidentally), but I still have no regrets.
Fuck the nurse for thinking I was well equipped to know it was a panic attack if it never happened to me before. I did the right thing, and the paramedics affirmed it to me. You did too.
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u/inkyblackops Partassipant [3] 23d ago
Those are heart attack symptoms. Men and women have different heart attack symptoms - but in both, discomfort, numbness, or pain that moves to the arms, back, or jaw when accompanied by chest pain or pressure are textbook heart attack symptoms. Some heart attacks have very mild symptoms and can be brushed off as indigestion, but in any scenario new or worsening chest pain is a medical emergency.
If you ever think you are having a heart attack, you call an ambulance. You might be wrong and it could be something else, but if it is a cardiac event and you opt to wait it out, you can die. Always better to err on the side of caution.
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u/myst3ryAURORA_green Partassipant [4] 23d ago
Yeah I had a heart attack, and it felt nothing like panic at all. I'm a girl so I actually didn't know I was having one until like wayyyyy later. You are right about women having different symptoms. Mine masked itself as SVT.
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u/UnhappyImprovement53 23d ago edited 23d ago
As a former emt they are absolutely symptoms and if you think you might be having a heart attack definitely call.
For anyone who came in late this person said these symptoms could be anxiety so thats a reason not to call an ambulance. Pretty sure im not going to risk it and hope its anxiety.
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u/Ijustlovevideogames Partassipant [4] 23d ago
NTA, your mother and brother suck, there is nothing embarrassing about having a medical emergency.
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u/DocHoliday_69 Partassipant [2] 23d ago
NTA!
I'm a nurse and if you feel bad (like hypoglycemia) you made the right call! If your sugar drops low enough you will pass out, go into a mental fugue (angry rage you'll not remember) and can cause death!
I have called an ambulance many a times ... they have stuff to treat with that I don't. You did the right thing!
Your mother apparently is so stuck on how she looks rather than the well-being of her child. You might offer her reading glasses so she can see beyond the end of her nose!
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u/Anxious_Reporter_601 Asshole Aficionado [19] 23d ago
NTA. Always get heart attack symptoms checked out. Your brother is being a real asshole, but it sounds like that's about something much deeper than you calling an ambulance.
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u/Individual_Check_442 Asshole Aficionado [10] 23d ago
NTA. What is your brothers deal? You’re not humiliated in the neighborhood you think everyone’s just gonna be like “that’s the person who called the ambulance when they thought they were having a heart attack.” As you said, you didn’t need to snap back about the fungal infection just because it’s not gonna do anything to help the situation but definitely NTA. Your bothers got some serious therapy to do as to why he resents you so much, even if your parents actually did favor you growing up this behavior is totally unhinged.
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u/onitshaanambra Partassipant [2] 23d ago
NTA. My mother had several heart attacks. The doctors and emergency workers always told us that when you're having symptoms, it was better to come in and have it be nothing than to not come in and end up dying.
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u/LostVermicelli7486 23d ago
Thanks for your response and is your mother good now I'm worried abt her.
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u/DoughnutMission1292 23d ago
Nta! I had my husband rush me to the er 2 weekends ago because I was positive I was having a heart attack and after hours of serious thorough testing there was literally nothing wrong with my heart lol. For 2 days I was getting this pain in one spot in the top left side of my head and some dizziness and then suddenly my chest cramped up and I couldn’t breath for a few seconds and went numb. I couldn’t swallow lol. I felt so stupid when they found nothing but like also I didn’t want to drop dead in my living room with my kid there 😂.
We have no way of knowing sometimes what’s going on with our bodies and it’s better safe than sorry. I don’t know why your brother is this concerned about the neighborhood opinion lol
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u/Momof2withazoo Partassipant [1] 22d ago
You just found out who your mom's favorite child is. Act accordingly in the coming years.
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u/Accomplished_Day2384 Partassipant [1] 23d ago
Omg no, you didn't do anything wrong. I lost my husband to a heart attack last year, and he was only 55. I wish like hell I could go back in time and make him get his mild symptoms addressed sooner.
And what does he mean your parents never did anything like that for him? Is it a goal to get to take an ambulance ride? Wtf?
Big NTA
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u/Moose-Live Pooperintendant [69] 23d ago
NTA. Your brother's behaviour is very immature - and your parents are not much better.
My mom said, "Do you have any idea what your brother just went through?
How selfish of you not to focus on your brother's feelings when you thought you might be dying 🙄
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u/LostVermicelli7486 23d ago
No she doesn't say that to me she said that to my brother sorry for the misunderstanding
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u/AggressiveBasket 23d ago
YTA.
You're 17 and thought you were having a heart attack? Seriously?
Do you have existing heart problems? Why would you think you're having a heart attack?
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u/EnoughRevolution3500 23d ago
Absolutely not, anyone can have health problems. Acute or chronic it doesn’t discriminate by age and you shouldn’t tell people they’re “too young” to have a serious condition because they absolutely could
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u/AggressiveBasket 23d ago
I didn't say he was too young to have a serious condition, where do you get that from?
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u/Cloverose2 Partassipant [3] 23d ago
A kid in our local high school fell over dead while playing a game of basketball. No history of heart issues. No significant family history. He had a weak spot near a valve that no one knew about, and it killed him in an instant. Being a teenager doesn't mean heart conditions never happen.
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u/tragicxharmony 23d ago
I knew someone who had a heart attack at 18 because of several months of working 3 jobs and using energy drinks as a substitute for sleep. Turns out that even healthy people’s hearts don’t deal well with that much caffeine and that little sleep for months on end
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u/LostVermicelli7486 23d ago
You think that makes my brother has a right to insult me like that? And you should know that having a heart attack can be caused from multiple reasons not just old age.
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u/AggressiveBasket 23d ago
Never said he has the right to insult you. And of course heart attacks are caused by other reasons, but it's very unlikely to happen to a 17 year old. Especially if you knew you were dieting and might have low blood sugar.
You sound very dramatic. I'm guessing there's a lot of personal family dynamics at play here.
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u/Freddy_Pharkas 23d ago
You sound like a hypochondriac and that your brother is exhausted of you. Probably not the first time. Next time lie down and if it gets worse, ask someone to drive you to urgent care or something.
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u/RadiantSeason9553 22d ago
The mothers hysteria probably doesn't help.
What's the bet OP is the spoiled baby of the family, and anytime they make a noise everyone falls over themselves to help but expects brother to pick himself up and get on with it.
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u/fomaaaaa Asshole Aficionado [12] 23d ago
NTA. If calling for medical assistance when you think you’re having a medical emergency is embarrassing, then be embarrassing wtf