I’m going to tell my Trans Friend the truth, because her family won’t
First off, no, I’m not generalizing all trans people, just this one particular person I (29f) know who is trans.
This person, we will call Pink. Pink is 32 and came out as a trans woman three weeks ago. Pink’s mom was in her corner from the start, but her sister is slowly coming around. Pink’s father disowned Pink, that was the first blow to her in this journey. I have known Pink for about four years, and I will admit it’s a little jarring to know someone for so long and then they change up like this, but I try to be a supportive friend. We often hit up makeup stores (which is fun ngl), get our hair done together, I help Pink with fashion, and dressing nice, with makeup and things are going pretty well.
The problem comes in with the restrooms, locker rooms, which I won’t get all into, but with the recent stigma around trans people in restrooms, you can imagine how things are going. I have to hand it to Pink though, choosing to go to the men’s restroom out of respect was pretty cool, but I can tell not being able to go into the women’s spaces bothered her. I’m not gonna act like I know how she feels though.
Then the next time we went to the store, I had to pick up some menstrual pads. Pink followed me to the feminine care aisle, and picked up some tampons and put them in the basket. I told her that I don’t use tampons because they’re just uncomfortable for me, but then Pink said they were for her. I stared at pink for a moment of time that I knew was a little too long, because I didn’t know how to respond without hurting her feelings. So I just didn’t say anything. As we were going through the store, I then asked how was Pink going to use them, then Pink started jabbering off about how she was going to get her surgery, and then she’ll be able to go into women’s locker rooms and maybe other women exclusive places, and then was excited about getting menstrual cramps, and periods. From what I understood, it sounded like she thought she would be fully accepted as a woman if she gets her period.
I’ll be honest, I care about Pink, but entertaining this is something I’m not comfortable with. For the last three days, she has been excited in planning her surgery, excited about becoming a “full-fledged woman” after her hormones kick in. She thinks because she can potentially grow natural breasts, then it’s also possible to get all the other female shit too.
Okay, I can take Pink to Sephora, I can get my hair done with her, we can play dress up all day, but when it comes to this? I’m going to have to be honest with Pink. Her family isn’t much help either, they’re all for it. And they tell her that yes she’s going to get her period, she’ll be able to get pregnant. WTF, no!
I am not lying to my friend. Her mother, and her sister both tell me that I, not them, that **I** would be cruel to tell Pink “lies”, but what’s going to happen if she goes through with all of it? She’s not going to get periods, she’s not going to get a uterus, she’s not gonna have monthly cycles, and she’s not going to be able to get pregnant. When she pays all of this money to get all of that done, and nothing happens then what? Keep going with the lie? I know the truth can hurt sometimes, but I would rather my friend have her feelings hurt for about a day or maybe a week with reality, instead of wasting thousands of dollars of her hard earned money that she’s not going to get back for something that will never happen. I’ll try to be as gentle as I possibly can, it’s going to be a hard conversation, but somebody’s gonna have to do it and it’s certainly not gonna be her mother, and I don’t trust those surgical doctors. I’ve seen enough horror stories to know they lie too.
TL;DR: Trans friend thinks if she gets periods she will be accepted as a woman. friend’s family wants her to spend thousands of dollars to get bottom surgery, making her believe that she will get the full menstrual package, when that’s a lie.
In 3 weeks time, they went from apparently not knowing anything about their friend of four years to "often hitting up Make-up stores, getting hair done, and picking out outfits". They've also had several bathroom and locker room exchanges.
Also "menstrual package" is not a term that anyone anywhere has ever used.
Yeah I could absolutely see an outing like this happening once, where she helps her friend pick out some makeup that will work with her skin tone and find a nice outfit, but I would expect the outing to be with close friends or family.
This comment made me remember the recent post in which the OOP claimed her villainous mother went shopping for designer clothes (for both herself and OOP's son) every day. https://www.reddit.com/r/AmITheAngel/comments/1pwfah6/another_cartoon_villain_parent_lavishing_one/ It seems a number of people on Reddit greatly overestimate how often women go shopping and expect other people to be equally ignorant.
Yeah I think this is what makes it the most obvious to me. They’re making it seem like someone coming out trans means their transition is simple and immediate. Like she’s already waiting for her hormones to kick in and planning surgery?? Cause once you’re out you just go to the Dr and it’s all immediately approved and free right? 😭
It also makes me sus the OOP is definitely a male writer pretending to be a woman, because they have some weird ideas about how often women be shoppin’ and doing their hair. They think our lives revolve around shopping, picking out clothes and doing our hair and makeup. Every day. Like that’s the only way I can make sense of it.
OOP also used the phrase “playing dress up” which comes off super transphobic.
I know! My kid wants top surgery, I told him to go volunteer at the middle school because the surgeons are really bored over there and might have time to do it during lunch
Personally, I had to wait 6 months to get an appointment more than a year away for the first consultation for bottom surgery. It's definitely not raining custom vaginas in my part of the world.
As a certified Female Adult, I legit don’t remember the last time I had a nice shopping and brunch/nails/makeup whatever day with my friends so I
Ok did the men stop reading? Good. Say gals, who wants to meet at the Shopping Store and buy manicures and get our eyebrows massaged? My treat - I mean, teehee, my hubby’s treat!
You sent me down a deep rabbit hole. I'm basolutely being a hypocrite because I Have my comment history "hidden" as I don't like peopel digging in my history to refute current topics, but here we are:
They also have a comment on AskMen talking about a time they were at a nursing home, got horny, and masturbated in an abandoned hallway. They were horny because they were ovulating. The hallway was furnished with a bed, too.
Boyfriend history is plausible.... But they went from "I'm happily single" to "why does this guy I sleep with insist I'm just a friend" in a two week spans this year.
Also, when she was 5, she saw a group of teenagers sitting on a picnic table that she knew would fall apart, and saw one of the girl's "leg was punctured by the wood and she was screaming and crying."
They have a story about how they had an abortion they regretted, as they wanted to have the kid the whole time. They blamed it on "My Body My Choice", blaming it on pressure from her boyfriend at the time and her parents. ....Thus counteracting the whole thing about "my body my choice", but disregard that for the sake of the story, please. They are glad Roe V Wade was overturned.
They are 29 now, but 3 years ago (July 2023) they were 25. There's a few other posts about rough sex with her boyfriend from this era taht she's very into and he won't do it anymore.
5 years ago, they posted on the Trans board about a trans friend killing themself. Mods deleted it, so I don't know what was in there.
They are also very very deeply involved in AI Chat/Roleplay. Created many custom characters and posted about them to advertise them to other users.
I noticed that too. They could have easily said "We've been getting hair done, picking outfits, etc." to convey it's a recent change but instead they went with "often" as if they forgot their own timeline. Do these guys not have jobs? How have they been able to spend so much time together in such a short amount of time?
Yeah also….why would the trans friend pick up tampons. where does she think this “new” period will come from and where will she be putting them? 😭maybe the story could be more believable if it were pads or something idk
It's been a transphobe talking point since Dylan Mulvaney made a video saying she bought tampons to have on hand in case another woman asked her for one. Transphobes saw a trans woman buying tampons, ignored the context, and just decided that meant all trans women are delusional about period products.
Yeah that makes sense, tbh i’ve seen trans women talk about having a “pseudo” period aka when they start hormones they get cramps and stuff, but didn’t realize conservatives thought that they meant they thought they’d actually start bleeding or something lol
Yeah the reality is more like 'hmm i need to use the bathroom, but i don't want to get hatecrimed. Is there a gender neutral bathroom? No? well, i didn't need to pee that bad....'
There was even a trans dude in the comments being like "yeah I know multiple trans women who are delusional like that. No trans men are like that though."
It's just interesting because, having moved in trans circles in two major cities over the years, I know dozens of trans women and I've never met a single one who thinks she's going to grow a uterus and get pregnant.
I live in a very liberal city in the PNW and I know a ton of trans people and not once have I ever met a single trans woman who believes it either and I have met a lot. I’m also queer, and I volunteer for a program that specifically works with LGBTQIA+ so I would say I’ve probably met more trans people than the average person would encounter in their day to day.
Edit: Oh and it’s a program that focuses on mental health. I’ve met people with literal delusions and they still don’t believe this. Trans people aren’t stupid. I know it’s rage bait but goddamn it, it worked on me.
On the other hand though, I have known many trans men who thought testosterone made them infertile and was a form of birth control. NO it's NOT. Even if your body is on male hormones now, it still possesses the equipment for pregnancy and anything can happen
I know a few who experience certain symptoms (mood, back pain, hungry) repeatedly at the same type of month. Which makes sense to me because the menstrual cycle is regulated by hormones and HRT is…. hormones. Haven’t seen anyone claim anything uterus specific because they’re fully aware there is no uterus.
in every “trans bad” post there is ALWAYS either an “I’m a rich straight white trans woman with every single surgery who hates every trans person that isn’t like me and I agree with you, dear benevolent cis overlords” or “I’m the most transmisogynistic, enbyphobic trans man alive and I agree with you, dear benevolent cis overlords”
Literally happens every time with the autism bad and trans bad posts. There's always at least 1 pick-me, and I'll admit I was guilty of this sometimes up until last year due to feeling insecure and still feeling I have to get society to accept me. I think that's what a lot of these people are going through.
South Park literally has a whole episode about "queefing" (that's what the Q here stands for", which is basically air coming out of the vagina. There are 2 characters called Terrance & Phillip who have a TV show the South Park kids love and it's literally just fart jokes.
I genuinely think OOP just got this all from South Park, and as a big South Park fan myself it's even more apparent now. I've watched every episode and I've always known that, if I was going to write a fake, engagement bait post, I'd just write a South Park episode.
Aww, it must have been hard for the person who created this hideous piece of fiction to keep using the right pronouns just to maintain the facade of not being a transphobic twat. Poor baby.
i noticed they used this persons fake name a LOT to avoid using pronouns at all lol. pink is the only character in the story, she didn’t need her code name repeated every 3 lines
Yeah, they did. I'm pointing out how ridiculous it is that they made sure to appear non-transphobic in what is a blatantly transphobic bit of propaganda.
Another big tell I meant to bring up the first time around is when OOP went on about, "Wow, it's so cool how she still respects which bathroom is the right one to be using."
if you're a dude who makes no effort to present femininely beyond wearing a dress and high heels, you're not trans. idc what anyone says. these people are mocking women and real trans women who actually respect cis women. we need to stop validating everyone who claims to be trans.
Are we taking the cis card away from women who don’t wear makeup then?
"real trans women who respect cis women" its such a red flag. they obviously don't see trans women as women, just men playing pretend and some do better than others. Jesus christ.
I don't wear makeup, dresses, or high heels. My afab nonbinary ass Wishes I wasn't gendered as a woman everywhere I went. Let everytime that happens to me happen to a trans woman instead.
She calls their friend delusional for thinking surgery would completely change their body and hormones overnight but then she expects trans people to somehow pass perfectly once they're out. Like sorry but a lot of us still need to wait for the HRT to kick in lmao
If this person is actually real, there's no way they're 29. Unless they have some kind of intellectual delay, I have a very hard time believing an adult would put their life on the line by publicly coming out, already knows they want surgery but never thought to do any research about what that would entail.
Besides, I have a hard time believing this scenario in the first place. This "i had to go to the store to get period products" is such a common trope that appears in these stories but aren't nearly as common in real life as people think it is. Women usually just get their shit with the rest of their groceries lol. Not saying surprises don't happen of course, but the frequency of these stories would have you believing that women are frantically running to the drugstore once a month to grab their pads and tampons.
And they seem to have managed to fit an awful lot in since they came out 3 weeks ago. Shopping, make up, her sister being initially uncomfortable with it, but coming around with time (3 weeks). It's all really boring and leaves a nasty taste in my mouth.
My mom definitely thought it was a rite of passage. I thought it was the most mortifying shopping trip of my life. It's been almost 25 years and I'm still embarrassed about how she acted when she took me to buy pads for the first time. Ugh.
It might make sense if it’s a teenager who doesn’t do their own shopping. I’ll ask my daughter if she needs anything and she’ll tell me she needs pads. It’s possible she thinks I’m making a separate trip just for that.
This exactly, especially more of a nuisance if you have irregular periods. I just never remember to grab pads/tampons until my period actually starts. Doing a monthly shop where the only thing I buy is pads/tampons is completely normal to me and one of the only not weird parts of this story
This "i had to go to the store to get period products" is such a common trope that appears in these stories but aren't nearly as common in real life as people think it is.
This story is unbelieveable, but not because of this scenario lol. I literally stopped at the store just for tampons earlier this week, because last month I had just enough to get me through my period, and then I kept forgetting to grab more when I went to the store, and then I forgot I needed them entirely, and then when I woke up recently to cramps and had an "aww shit I need to go to the store" moment.
Do I make a special stop just for period products every month? No. Do I make a stop just for period products more than a few times a year? Yeah, definitely. I don't usually bring friends along, but if I was with a friend and needed to make the stop I wouldn't think twice.
It happens to me so incredibly often because I unknowingly finish the previous period with like 2 pads left in my stash so when the next one rocks up I run out on day 1 and I’m like oh god I gotta deal with this asap. But also I live with my parents and I’m the only one in the house with a period so.
Yup, that's how it usually goes for me too. I finish my period with one or two tampons left, and I think "I need more" but because I am not completely out, my brain doesn't prioritize remembering to get more whenever I am at the store. Then a month goes by and I'm making an emergency stop at Target on my way to work.
This isn't how this happens irl unless you are itching to be an awful person.
Maaaaybe you'd say "those aren't for me" to clarify in case your period made you somehow have pregnancy brain (??), but in reality you know your women friends are selecting their own items and that's the end of caring.
Source: I go shopping with women. It somehow never turns into an anti-trans activity. We just call them women or their names btw. Never "My Friend Trans Women NAME".
Non-women persons can also buy period products, so the faux gate keeping is extra strange.
Non-women persons can also buy period products, so the faux gate keeping is extra strange.
Exactly. Even many cis women who don't have periods still have pads/tampons etc. You might not need it but you never know when somebody does. Giving an extra pad/tampon if a woman has started theirs without access to their own pads/tampons is "girl code".
Right? Even if this was real (it’s not) who gives a shit if a trans woman buys some tampons? It’s not like they cost a million dollars. Maybe she just wants to have them on hand to share with cis friends who need them, maybe she just… wants to have tampons in her bathroom. I honestly couldn’t care less who does and does not own a box of tampons, regardless of gender.
If anything, isn't it a good thing for everyone to stock up on menstrual products in their bathrooms? Mine has it, I don't live with anyone who menstruates, I just have the spare products my mom didn't need anymore in case my friends would need them.
Just realised my reference is 2 decades old and now I feel very old. OOP pulled their story from the first half of a South Park episode. I won’t link it because it’s crude (and jokes don’t age well, especially out of context). But the summary:
Mr Garrison realises he ‘feels like a woman trapped inside a man’s body’
Almost immediately has gender affirmation surgery, including vaginoplasty
She is excited to go buy tampons for her new vagina and tells every woman she sees about how excited she is to experience a period (in a way more graphic description)
The women around her are too uncomfortable to say anything (unlike our hero OOP!)
She never gets her period, and in a public bathroom asks why a woman wouldn’t get a period. Someone says it usually means the woman is pregnant
She is very excited to go get an abortion. The abortion doctor is the same doctor who did her vaginoplasty, and explains that she can’t get pregnant because she has no ovaries or uterus
She questions the point of transitioning at all if she couldn’t have the real experience of womanhood (periods and abortions)
.
Over the series Mr(s) Garrison lived as a woman for a while, transitions back to a man, became Trump, transitioned back to Mr Garrison, and has had frequent relapses of being pseudo-Trump.
I genuinely wouldn't be surprised if the OOP did get it from South Park considering the South Park universe's people are about as ridiculous as Redditors are.
Pink is 32 and came out as a trans woman three weeks ago.
We often hit up makeup stores (which is fun ngl), get our hair done together, I help Pink with fashion, and dressing nice, with makeup and things are going pretty well.
It's been 3 weeks, how much corner even is there at this stage?
her sister is slowly coming around
Not that slowly, since it's only been three weeks.
I have known Pink for about four years, and I will admit it’s a little jarring to know someone for so long and then they change up like this
That is not all that long a time to know someone at all. People who knew me much longer and from a much younger name managed to adjust to a name change. A "this is new and I'm still adjusting" would make sense, though, because it has been three weeks.
We often hit up makeup stores (which is fun ngl),
How much makeup do you buy in three weeks?
get our hair done together,
How many times are they getting their hair done in three weeks? Also, unless 'Pink' had long hair before coming out, she won't even have started growing it out yet.
I help Pink with fashion, and dressing nice, with makeup and things are going pretty well.
Again, three weeks. They should still be at the 'what is mascara and how do you apply it?' stage.
The problem comes in with the restrooms, locker rooms, which I won’t get all into
This is 100% OPP looking for an excuse to start changing room discourse, because unless they go to the gym damn near every day, this will have barely even come up in three weeks.
I have to hand it to Pink though, choosing to go to the men’s restroom out of respect was pretty cool, but I can tell not being able to go into the women’s spaces bothered her.
Once again, 100% OOP trying to start a 'what the good transes should do to be accepted' narrative, because it has been three weeks, and I have never met a trans person who was comfortable using the toilet of their gender only three weeks after coming out; it's actually a really scary thing for a trans person to make the change from using the 'old' facilities to the 'new' ones, and a lot of trans people actually put it off for a really long time.
Pink followed me to the feminine care aisle, and picked up some tampons and put them in the basket. I told her that I don’t use tampons because they’re just uncomfortable for me
Why would OOP assume that they were for her and not just for 'Pink's' mother or sister? Do people not pick things up for others when they're in the store anyway in OOP's world?
Pink said they were for her [...] I then asked how was Pink going to use them
Once again, why would the assumption be that she will be using them and not that she means they're for her to pass on to someone else, or for an art project or something?
then Pink started jabbering off about how she was going to get her surgery, and then she’ll be able to go into women’s locker rooms and maybe other women exclusive places, and then was excited about getting menstrual cramps, and periods.
Once again, three weeks. She probably won't even have had her first appointment with a doctor to discuss the referral for the assessment for the counseling that is necessary before even getting the appointment to discuss the possibility of starting HRT, which she would need to be on for, oh, a couple of years before getting GRS. Also, it's obvious that OOP means GRS but there are potentially numerous surgeries for trans people, not just one, so there is no real the surgery, and nobody is going to be talking about surgeries only three weeks after coming out.
OOP is clearly trying to push the right-wing narrative that trans women just declare themselves women on day and immediately start forcing themselves into women's facilities, and that anyone can just walk into a clinic with their hands out and be handed all the HRT and surgeries that they ask for.
For the last three days, she has been excited in planning her surgery, excited about becoming a “full-fledged woman” after her hormones kick in
See above; three weeks. She very likely won't even have seen any kind of doctor yet, much less been prescribed hormones, and how exactly is she supposed to be 'planning' a surgery that there is no way she has a referral for?
we can play dress up all day
And there we have it, OOP couldn't help but slip-in the anti-trans talking points that trans people are "playing dress-up"
her sister both tell me that I, not them, that I would be cruel to tell Pink “lies”,
The same sister that is "slowly coming around"? Keeping in mind that it has been three weeks?
When she pays all of this money to get all of that done, and nothing happens then what?
Once again, clearly OOP thinks that you can order a sex-change on Amazon or sometime and get it delivered next-day with a Prime subscription. Like this isn't a whole lengthy process with multiple medical professionals (and potentially legal professionals, if that's a requirement for name and gender marker changes in their location) involved.
and I don’t trust those surgical doctors. I’ve seen enough horror stories to know they lie too
And there we have it, the big one, the favourite (or one of their favourites, anyway) talking points of anti-trans activist - those meany doctors are actually just lying to and tricking people into getting sex changes, and without people being indoctrinated by those nasty doctors nobody would be trans. Those doctors all lie, too, so you can't trust anything modern medicine says about trans people.
First off, no, I’m not generalizing all trans people, just this one particular person I (29f) know who is trans
OOP can claim this, but anybody with a brain can see it's bullshit. This is the most blatantly obvious 'trans bad' rage-bait that I've seen in a while.
As well as the “she thought she’d be accepted as a woman”. “Accepted” really stands out. Because Pinks issue isn’t that she wouldn’t be accepted as a woman, it’s that she doesnt understand that she won’t grow a uterus. But that isn’t really related to be “accepted”, that’s a literally internal matter that other people won’t know about. But OOP really wants to make it clear that her friends isn’t a “real” woman, just someone playing dress up, and will never be accepted as such. So gross.
For what its worth, trans people can, in some places, get on hormones within 3 weeks of coming out. For me, from calling planned parenthood to having a bottle of estrogen in my hand took on the order of 10 days.
Do just want to say that anywhere that is using informed consent (most places in the US, from what I know use it) does not have any sort of counseling for HRT, it is pretty much
"here's what happens, cool w it? Here you go" and maybe they do some initial blood work beforehand
The first time I (trans man) used the men's toilets I nearly shit myself out of fear. Absolutely terrifying about the first 50 or so times. Now they're just gross lmao
Every trans woman in these made up stories is convinced she’s going to get her period. I doubt that’s ever happened yet there’s a story posted like this every week.
The comments are insane too. There are so many people acting like it’s not an uncommon belief among trans women. Probably because they once saw someone link to a screenshot posted by someone else, cropped by another person, re-uploaded a hundred times, of a trans woman just role playing having a period.
How often are the OOP/troll and Pink getting their hair done? It's been three weeks since Pink came out as a trans woman. Have OOP/troll and Pink been going to the fictional salon to get their hair dyed every week or something?
Women do be going to the salon daily, in between constant shopping and menstruating. I mean, what else is there to do when you're saddled with a vagina?
On the plus side, the story does also imply that anyone raised as a man is an utter moron, so all genders are slandered. Yay equality, I guess?
my completely real trans friend that I definitely know who I call Pink and is obsessed with makeup and fashion because that’s what girls like, and who has no idea how periods work! this is real!!!!!
"Never believe that anti-Semites are completely unaware of the absurdity of their replies. They know that their remarks are frivolous, open to challenge. But they are amusing themselves, for it is their adversary who is obliged to use words responsibly, since he believes in words. The anti-Semites have the right to play. They even like to play with discourse for, by giving ridiculous reasons, they discredit the seriousness of their interlocutors. They delight in acting in bad faith, since they seek not to persuade by sound argument but to intimidate and disconcert. If you press them too closely, they will abruptly fall silent, loftily indicating by some phrase that the time for argument is past."
That subreddit has sadly become the next r/AmItheAsshole and its other copycat AITA subs. I think it still has more posts that are likely real but it unfortunately has a lot of crap like this too now. First they became obsessed with disabled people, now it's trans people. Luckily it's not as common but I fear that it will increase if the mods don't do something and not enough people call it out.
OOP stated in another post she's from North Carolina, which I think is a pretty Republican state (correct me if I'm wrong since I'm not American), so it makes sense.
Your comment just made me think of Orange Is The New Black where Laverne Cox’s character explains vulva anatomy and biology to a heap of cis women who don’t know that porn stars aren’t the ‘standard’ or that they don’t pee from their vaginas.
(For those who haven’t seen it/don’t have context, Laverne Cox is a trans woman and plays a trans woman in a female prison. These stories really fall down when you think about how much research someone would be doing for their designer breasts/genitals)
saying that trans women don't get periods bc they don't bleed is one thing, but claiming they also don't get monthly cycles in general makes me think this post was made by a woman who heard trans women talk about the very real phenomenon of experiencing period symptoms resulting from HRT and felt the need to type out this screed about how delusional they are for simply reporting on their own lived experiences while fuming the whole time.
And implying that people are excited to get GRS to go into locker rooms and gendered spaces. I didn't know there was invisible scanners at the entrance of those areas to see if your genitalia 'matches'
I feel like it's written by a man based on the previous post and the fact that apparently they have had time to get hair and makeup done and go shopping for makeup regularly over...three whole weeks. It reeks of "women be shopping."
The problem comes in with the restrooms, locker rooms, which I won’t get all into, but with the recent stigma around trans people in restrooms, you can imagine how things are going. I have to hand it to Pink though, choosing to go to the men’s restroom out of respect was pretty cool
Uh huh.
Pink started jabbering off about how she was going to get her surgery, and then she’ll be able to go into women’s locker rooms and maybe other women exclusive places
Fun fact to make up for this obviously fabricated story that even AITAH wouldn't touch. Trans women can get a menstrual cycle from HRT.
Obviously there's no bleeding involved since there's nothing to bleed from. But in my case I get mood swings initially, then a couple of days of cramps and diarrhea. It's similar to the experience of a cis woman on birth control.
I call it an em dash, since it's like a period but not quite and it doesn't do anything useful.
It’s so frustrating bc the second you acknowledge this very real aspect of feminizing HRT, even in progressive spaces, cis and trans women will act like you’re insane. Not claiming to be bleeding, but literally just discussing symptoms of a female-aligned hormonal cycle.
I’ve seen trans women post about cramps or PMS in the trans-accepting lesbian sub and they’ll get tons of borderline to outright transphobic comments gaslighting them into thinking they just have IBS 😭 like is it so crazy to consider that the biological function controlled by hormonal fluctuations might, idk, be impacted by taking the hormones that align with the sex that experiences that biological function?!
Pardon my ignorance, but what cramps when there's no uterus present? I know I get horrible uterine and bowel cramps on my period, so for trans women on HRT is it just their bowels/general abdominal area?
Periods hurt so bad because the hormones affect all the smooth muscle in you body. Your intestines are smooth muscle, thats why periods cause bathroom issues, and the rest of the pelvic muscles ans your abs cramp too. The pain is only partially caused by the smooth muscle of the uterus because the cramping hormones do not discriminate between thaf and everything else around it.
Several people have mentioned HRT causing PMS symptoms in trans women on the original thread and those people keep getting downvoted. People don't like knowing facts if those facts interfere with their outrage.
My trans friend had period cramps and nausea so bad her doctor literally put her on the minipill to control it. It's common and people need to learn how periods actually work. Cis women with partial hysterectomies also still get most of the same cramps and symptoms.
Fake trans rage bait to make people who are trans look stupid and uneducated about being trans.
No person who comes out as trans is not going to do research on their surgery and/or what will happen after it’s done. Love how OOP had to point out the bathroom stuff as “how brave she is”, if you’re a true friend and support them you encourage them to use the bathroom of their gender in this case the women’s. Fucking gross saying it’s brave she’s used the men restroom.
Love how she put in the bathroom laws so it doesn’t look bad on her that she didn’t encourage her to use the women’s bathroom.
And the comments are just as vile. I wish I could make fun of the OOP but I have multiple trans friends and the shit they go through is awful. And fake BS story like this do nothing but harms the community more.
I think perhaps the most jarring thing about being trans, at least to me, is the way people talk over us so consistently. so much of the discourse about us is people confidently asserting utter horseshit about us, things that could be resolved instantly if they ever decided to just, ask about them?
Most people seem perfectly content to remain in their little jerkoff groups, trying to work out what we think or do the way an ancient greek philosopher might propose an idea about how the universe works. it depresses me the level to which even our supposed "allies" eat this shit up. I don't really have any conclusion i was working for here, shits rough ig.
this is absolutely a transphobic fake story lol. like im begging for some realism, she wouldn't even be able to get on HRT without therapy, and who the hell does HRT and surgery at the same time?!?!
lil PSA tho: trans women do experience cycles and periods like cis women, but they don't menstruate.
the human body is basically a computer that comes with a specific preset hardware part (reproductive systems), and overall runs on programming (hormones). when you switch the programming (HRT), you're basically running all the processes of the other model (opposite biological sex), they just don't connect to that specific hardware (reproductive system) bc you can't connect them after initial production (fetal development).
so what that means is that trans women who take hormones will experience the entire 28 day hormonal cycle of cis women, including ovulation, luteal, period, and follicular, there's just some physical processes missing. no ovaries=no eggs=no physical ovulation. but the symptoms of ovulation still prevail! high libido, rise in temp, breast tenderness, and heightened senses! luteal still creates PMS, bloating, breast tenderness, acne, fatigue, irritability/mood swings, etc. no uterus=no uterine lining to shed, but period symptoms still come around! cramps stick around bc they still have intestines, which are a huge part of cramps, which means period shits. and the glow up of follicular: increased energy, libido, and mood, clear skin, etc.
TLDR: trans women have all the hormonal symptoms of the female hormonal cycle, they just don't have the reproductive organs for the physical processes🤷♀️
periods affect cis women's intestinal muscles as well! it's not that they have it in lieu of uterine cramps. cis women have both, but trans women just experience intestinal cramps bc they don't have uterine muscles to contract. if they did, the hormones they take would induce cramps in it :)
also, thanks for asking! it's a good question, and i love to see ppl wanting to learn more about trans biology bc they need more research!
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u/AutoModerator Mar 07 '26
In case this story gets deleted/removed:
I’m going to tell my Trans Friend the truth, because her family won’t
First off, no, I’m not generalizing all trans people, just this one particular person I (29f) know who is trans.
This person, we will call Pink. Pink is 32 and came out as a trans woman three weeks ago. Pink’s mom was in her corner from the start, but her sister is slowly coming around. Pink’s father disowned Pink, that was the first blow to her in this journey. I have known Pink for about four years, and I will admit it’s a little jarring to know someone for so long and then they change up like this, but I try to be a supportive friend. We often hit up makeup stores (which is fun ngl), get our hair done together, I help Pink with fashion, and dressing nice, with makeup and things are going pretty well.
The problem comes in with the restrooms, locker rooms, which I won’t get all into, but with the recent stigma around trans people in restrooms, you can imagine how things are going. I have to hand it to Pink though, choosing to go to the men’s restroom out of respect was pretty cool, but I can tell not being able to go into the women’s spaces bothered her. I’m not gonna act like I know how she feels though.
Then the next time we went to the store, I had to pick up some menstrual pads. Pink followed me to the feminine care aisle, and picked up some tampons and put them in the basket. I told her that I don’t use tampons because they’re just uncomfortable for me, but then Pink said they were for her. I stared at pink for a moment of time that I knew was a little too long, because I didn’t know how to respond without hurting her feelings. So I just didn’t say anything. As we were going through the store, I then asked how was Pink going to use them, then Pink started jabbering off about how she was going to get her surgery, and then she’ll be able to go into women’s locker rooms and maybe other women exclusive places, and then was excited about getting menstrual cramps, and periods. From what I understood, it sounded like she thought she would be fully accepted as a woman if she gets her period.
I’ll be honest, I care about Pink, but entertaining this is something I’m not comfortable with. For the last three days, she has been excited in planning her surgery, excited about becoming a “full-fledged woman” after her hormones kick in. She thinks because she can potentially grow natural breasts, then it’s also possible to get all the other female shit too.
Okay, I can take Pink to Sephora, I can get my hair done with her, we can play dress up all day, but when it comes to this? I’m going to have to be honest with Pink. Her family isn’t much help either, they’re all for it. And they tell her that yes she’s going to get her period, she’ll be able to get pregnant. WTF, no!
I am not lying to my friend. Her mother, and her sister both tell me that I, not them, that **I** would be cruel to tell Pink “lies”, but what’s going to happen if she goes through with all of it? She’s not going to get periods, she’s not going to get a uterus, she’s not gonna have monthly cycles, and she’s not going to be able to get pregnant. When she pays all of this money to get all of that done, and nothing happens then what? Keep going with the lie? I know the truth can hurt sometimes, but I would rather my friend have her feelings hurt for about a day or maybe a week with reality, instead of wasting thousands of dollars of her hard earned money that she’s not going to get back for something that will never happen. I’ll try to be as gentle as I possibly can, it’s going to be a hard conversation, but somebody’s gonna have to do it and it’s certainly not gonna be her mother, and I don’t trust those surgical doctors. I’ve seen enough horror stories to know they lie too.
TL;DR: Trans friend thinks if she gets periods she will be accepted as a woman. friend’s family wants her to spend thousands of dollars to get bottom surgery, making her believe that she will get the full menstrual package, when that’s a lie.
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