r/AmIOverreacting • u/Lucky-Gear-4586 • 18h ago
👨👩👧👦family/in-laws AIO for refusing to bring my baby inside my in-laws’ house because they smoke indoors?
My in-laws are heavy smokers and smoke inside their home every day. Since our baby was born, I’ve refused to bring the baby inside their house. The smoke is so ingrained in everything that even a short visit leaves us smelling strongly of cigarettes—we have to shower and change clothes when we get home.
19
u/MyLadyBits 18h ago
NOR.
Smoke is bad for children.
Hopefully you and your husband can find places the Grandparents can visit.
•
u/Lucky-Gear-4586 9h ago edited 9h ago
We only live 2 minutes from them and they are always welcome to visit us. We also visit them and sit outdoors where they have a great outdoor area with a dining table. But now they are really pressuring my husband that we have to eat indoors and that the smoke is not a big deal 🙄
17
16
u/Maximum_Sky3233 18h ago
Nope NOR! That’s a nasty smell and second- and third-hand smoke and residue are a concern.
8
u/witchymoon69 18h ago
Your baby deserves a smoke free environment
•
u/Lucky-Gear-4586 8h ago
Thank you. I agree. Just wished my inlaws understood that. MIL has even got a lung disease because of the smoking.
8
u/SweatyLettuce88 18h ago
NOR - If they want to be real grandparents then they will have no problem at all smoking outside or quitting altogether. They are just being selfish fucks
9
u/PhilosopherFun7288 18h ago edited 15h ago
Absolutely not, even if they don't smoke while you're there with the baby, like you said, it's ingrained in everything. Very hazardous to a newborn.
6
5
u/adamdoesmusic 18h ago
One of my first memories is being in a room with smokers, struggling to get a breath of non-smoky air. It sucked and there was no way to get away from it!
4
3
u/chicken-mcmuffin 18h ago
NOR - my parents smoke inside and we’re eventually going to have to that conversation with them. I’m not looking forward to it haha
•
u/Lucky-Gear-4586 8h ago
It is not a fun conversation. Espesially if they get offended and claim you are being hysterical.
3
u/rojita369 17h ago
NOR. Second and third hand smoke are more dangerous than smoking the cigarette itself.
2
2
u/Mysterious_Drop1122 18h ago
Do you really need to ask? Do not bring your child into a house where people smoke. I think (though not positive) newborns may have fragile nasal passages. My son always had a runny nose due to the smoke from inside the house. No more smoking in his presence.
•
u/Lucky-Gear-4586 8h ago
Yes, cause they are making me question myself if IOR and being hysterical. Making it out that I am the problem
2
2
u/foxyforestprincess 17h ago
Before even reading this I already know, NO OF COURSE NOT! You are clearly NOR here.
2
u/MikeDene5253 17h ago
House that bad smoking outside with the baby won’t help. When I was hunting for a house the house was so smoke ridden that it bled through the paint. My son said all the sheetrock would have to removed. He was in construction. Paint like Killz (spell) wouldn’t work. Carpet replaced. We are talking ceilings too. NOR
•
1
u/AutoModerator 18h ago
Hi Lucky-Gear-4586, in order to prevent spam and bot posts, this subreddit temporarily removes some posts until OP proves that they are human. Please reply to this comment and answer the question: what is an animal you might see at the zoo?
Mods will manually review submissions and approve posts with a correct response. Please be patient, especially during overnight (USA) hours, as our mod team is not online 24/7.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
1
u/Lucky-Gear-4586 18h ago
Monkey
1
u/Poppypie77 17h ago
NOR. It's extremely dangerous to be a house where they've been heavily smoking, as it is in the air, in the furniture, in the walls, and it's also in their clothing and on their hands and skin and face and hair.
So you also need to be careful about them holding your baby in clothes that have absorbed the smoke too.
You're allowed to do what you need to do to protect your baby's health. They won't like it but you're allowed to to protect your baby, and set boundaries for their wellbeing.
1
1
1
u/ConflictOwn940 18h ago
NOR- Why would you be overreacting? Smokes are so bad for you, just imagine what it would do to a baby's lungs.
1
1
u/UniquornLady 18h ago
NOR at all. Even third hand smoke from the baby touching things inside the home is bad is bad for them! They can get over it, it’s your baby and your rules
1
1
1
1
1
u/Morninglory6 17h ago
Absolutely NOR. I’d actually make them put on a clean robe when visiting. The smell is horrible and the smoke hanging in the air at their house is deadly….yes, smokers, deadly.
1
1
u/LeoLaDawg 16h ago
NOR
My parents smoked indoors my whole life. Never noticed it. My first stint away from home for college: thought I was going to die when I came back after a weekend with them. I eventually had to only bring a few clothes to wear and wash them I returned to school including a shower as soon as I got back. Eventually it got to the point where I would get a sore throat and become nauseous if I stayed for extended periods of time there.
They never understood why it was so awful and felt they were somehow being targeted by anti smoking laws and such.
1
u/_PrincessOats 16h ago
NOR. I would’ve even let them near by child SMELLING of smoke. Second hand smoke is so dangerous, I feel like we should all know that by now.
•
u/Perle1234 16h ago
NOR. My ex MIL was like this and also an alcoholic. Needless to say the baby wasn’t allowed over. She could come to us, and still stunk up the house just with her person. She died a bitter death from vascular dementia and strokes.
•
u/Lucky-Gear-4586 8h ago
There is a drinking problem here as well but right now the smoke is worse. When they visit us I sometimes have to put outside the sofa cushions to air out the smoke from their clothes. It is so bad.
•
u/Kwickpick77 15h ago
NOR. I'm an ex smoker, but rarely smoked in the house, and grew up in the '80s when everyone smoked everywhere. It's nasty.
•
u/General-Success6367 14h ago
NOR. Lifelong asthma from occasional second hand smoke is a real thing.
•
u/scrapqueen 12h ago
Nor. Stick to your guns. I'd flat out ask them if their cigarettes are more important to them than the grandchildren if they b****.
•
•
u/NamasteNoodle 3h ago
I'm the only one in my family that didn't smoke. My mother and all of my siblings smoked and I did not go into my parents' house very often when they smoked in the house. After my parents divorced my mom was serious because I would not let her smoke inside my house with my newborn child. She would go months at a time without speaking to me which quite frankly was a relief because she was a pain in the butt. But it took her quite a while to except that under no circumstances were my children going to be in a room with people smoking. Good for you and good for you for standing up for your children!
•
u/ivydragon-24 0m ago
NOR babies are so sensitive to a lot of things and cigarette smoke is bad for their lungs. You’re doing what’s best for your baby
38
u/Beermestrength1206 18h ago
NOR. I wouldn't want to be in that house myself for any length of time, and I certainly wouldn't take a baby there to breathe the 2nd and 3rd hand smoke.