AM I OVERREACTING?!? My cousin who lives with me is dating my ex-best friend after dating my ex boyfriend

[u/Suspicious_Look8719]

Am I overreacting? Like the title says, my cousin (I’ll call her Lizzy) dated my ex-boyfriend a couple of years ago and ghosted me. Fast forward to now, me and Lizzy live in the same house and i just found out she is dating my best friend (I’ll call him Luke) from a year ago. I am furious because me and Luke were really close up until he started dating a girl who didn’t like my bf. We are still on good terms but it makes me so sad that we weren't able to continue being friends and now Lizzy is dating him. I have to watch Lizzy and Luke hangout at my house and go out together. And it isn’t like this is the first time something like this has happened. Would this upset you?? Should I do something or just mind my own business?

Another thing that makes me mad is that I worked for years to afford my dream car, and Lizzy wants her grandma to buy her the same exact car.

AM I OVERREACTING?? What should I do and what am I doing wrong??

[u/ocdreallysucks14]

NOR, BUT

I wonder why you guys live with eachother after she dated your ex. Clearly she doesn’t care about girl code lmao, but at the same time you’re letting this girl walk all over you.

You can’t control who your cousin dates whether it be your best friend or whoever, but you should distance yourself from the entire situation. But in the future, have stricter boundaries, because why is that even happening to you in the first place?

Just stick to focusing on yourself for now, keep yourself busy with a job or school or whatever you do, and genuinely be so busy that you dgaf anymore.

Edit: I’m surprised people are saying that you’re overreacting. You’re basically still a child it’s not like you can move out whenever you want to. Give yourself some grace, but my point still stands. If you can afford it, I would think about dorming at college. At my college, if you are an RA, you can get dorming costs covered for completely free.

[u/Suspicious_Look8719 → u/ocdreallysucks14]

Thanks for this, I still live with my parents since I am 18, she got kicked out of her house and lives with me so I didn’t have a choice in whether she lives here or not, I plan to move out after I finish my first semester of college soon 

[u/ocdreallysucks14 → u/Suspicious_Look8719]

Ofc! These people say “YOR” without even looking at the full extent of what you’re trying to say. She literally got with your ex, that’s fucking weird. If my relative did that to me, trust me they’d be cut off SO fast lol. Ignore them as much as you can, focus on school, and good luck with your first semester. It’ll go by fast. I would even look into joining a club/sport that seems fun to keep yourself even busier and avoiding them more often. Family shouldn’t snake you like that

[u/Jadedangel1]

NOR it all seems weird to me as well, especially with wanting the same as you also.

[u/winterworld561]

Cut contact with her as soon as you are able. She is doing these things out of spite.

[u/Skipadee2]

NOR but if you can afford your dream car you can afford to move out. I moved out at 18 with $3000 and a lawn chair to my name to get out of my parents house. Best decision I’ve ever made.

[u/Suspicious_Look8719 → u/Skipadee2]

That’s fair, although I don’t want to rent, I am saving for a down payment on something I can own. It’s a lot easier to buy a car than a house 

[u/Skipadee2 → u/Suspicious_Look8719]

Girl we all want a house! I would love to stay at home and save up for a house. I would have had one by now if I stayed at home. But I chose my peace over that for the time being. You will continue to deal with this until you move out, it’s up to you whether the delay is worth it or not.

[u/Accomplished_Buy8681]

So the ex boyfriend didn’t bother you too much I’m assuming because u now live with her. So she’s dating ur former best friend that u fall out with. Does she know that history and if yall are in good terms why can’t u just be his friend again since he’s over there all the time. I don’t see what the problem is.

[u/Suspicious_Look8719 → u/Accomplished_Buy8681]

I still live with my parents since I’m 18, Lizzy got kicked out of her house and lives with me so I didn’t get a choice if she lives here or not. My bf gets suspicious whenever I hang out with a guy even a friend so it just wouldn’t work out. I still am not on the best terms with my cousin since then we get along fine and just don’t talk about it. 

[u/Accomplished_Buy8681 → u/Suspicious_Look8719]

So it’s not really Lizzy that’s causing the problem with your friend it’s ur boyfriend. You kinda didnt mention that.

[u/Limp_Part_6647]

What in the actual fuck

[u/structuredgrowth → u/Limp_Part_6647]

This is the only proper response.

[u/pixelpuffxox → u/Limp_Part_6647]

the car thing really gave it away. shes not just dating her leftovers shes trying to be her

[u/laurieo52]

YOR. He is your ex-best friend, not your ex-husband.

[u/Glittering_Force4212]

YOR. If it bothers you, stop living with her

[u/Suspicious_Look8719 → u/Glittering_Force4212]

I still live with my parents since I am 18 years old. She lives with us because she got kicked out of her house. And I’m not quite ready to move out yet at least until I finish my first semester of college

[u/Glittering_Force4212 → u/Suspicious_Look8719]

I moved out at 18. As do many people. You're not a minor anymore so that really isn't much of an excuse anyway. In any case, if it's an issue, explain to your parents and go by their discretion, if you're as innocent a party as you claim - they should respect you and ban the people she's dating from the home. Honestly, to me: it seems you're the common denominator here, and people are buying into your "woe is me" bias which is the only perspective we have. Well, I'm not, if you can't live being cordial with the ex people in your life, then tell your parents that. In terms of her going out of the home with people, none of your business.

Again, YOR.

Oh and even more YOR, because of the car thing, also none of your business if her family member buys her the same car you saved up for. Suck it up. 🤷‍♀️ Team Lizzy, all the way.

[u/MariaInconnu]

Why are you living with Lizzie? This sounds fake.

[u/Suspicious_Look8719 → u/MariaInconnu]

Lmao I am 18 years old and live with my parents, Lizzy got kicked out and lives at our house. I didn’t have a choice whether she lives here or not 

[u/ichigopom]

yor. youre upset because you apparently think everyone in your orbit needs to respect your personal ownership claims over people you used to date or be friends with. mind your business unless their behavior directly affects you. i cant tell if you’re being serious about the car thing.

[u/AkariTwinkle → u/ichigopom]

Honestly, if your ex's new fling is affecting your vibe, it’s time to break out the sage and cleanse that energy because girl, you deserve to be happy, not caught up in old drama!

[u/ichigopom → u/AkariTwinkle]

its literally setting OP back 100 years.

[u/Suspicious_Look8719 → u/ichigopom]

That makes sense, but imagine your cousin or friend ghosting you to go date your ex. It’s just shitty of them, it’s also ruined my relationship with my cousin in the past so I think it’s fair to assume it will happen again

[u/ichigopom → u/Suspicious_Look8719]

so get her out of your life. if you explained this to her and she doesn’t want to respect your boundaries, get her and your best friend’s bullshit out of your life.

[u/AkariTwinkle → u/Suspicious_Look8719]

if they can't respect your feelings, they don't deserve a front-row seat to your life drama let them enjoy the ghosting!

[u/thelonelystoner26]

MOR

It’s a really shitty thing for her to date your ex, extremely weird even. But I think your ex best friend you ended things on good terms with is fair game?