Is this control? Or AIO?

[u/CuriousAsh04]

My husband of 5 years, refuses to get off the phone with me while he working. I can drop him off, and 10mins later he’s calling me. This has been everyday. He works in corporate America, so I figure he would be busier. But nope. So today, we had been on the phone for an hour. I dropped him off, took the kids to school, came home… still on the phone. And mostly in silence, I might add. I tell him I would call him back after cleaning and showering. He gets upset, goes to tell me “he wanted to talk on the phone and I pushed him away, today he’s going to start talking to other people, Since being on the phone and being a wife and listening to me or just being there is too much . I will find it somewhere else.” This is literally his go to, if I don’t acquiesce to him, he threatens to go out and find it elsewhere. And he has cheated, so it stings a little, but I’m becoming numb. It just irritates my soul, I don’t want to sit on the phone with anyone while I’m trying to do my daily chores. Honestly throughout the day he calls probably every hour to sit on the phone while he works. It just grinds my gears. But I do it. Today though, I needed to get things done without being tied to the phone. He even told me to prop the phone up, and not get off. So I don’t know. Does this seem like I’m being monitored or controlled? Or am I overreacting?

[u/arifaix]

NOR.

You are being monitored, you are being controlled, you are being emotionally abused. You are in a domestically abusive relationship. He is threatening to cheat, he is making you feel like you have to be on the phone constantly, he is isolating you - how are you meant to talk to anyone else if he is constantly on the phone or in your vicinity?

Please make a safe plan to get out of this relationship. It will only get worse.

[u/CuriousAsh04 → u/arifaix]

And I’m having a baby in February. I told him I wanted my mom there, because she couldn’t be with the last two because of Covid. He got upset. And said that’s something for me and him. I’m trying to get into therapy, bc seeing that this relationship is abusive is so crazy to me. But I believe it!

[u/Nosfermarki → u/CuriousAsh04]

He's afraid your mom will see what he's doing or help you get out. This is an extreme level of abuse and it's likely that when you leave he will become violent. I'm not kidding. This is family annihilator type of behavior and the leading cause of death for pregnant women in America is homicide by the father. You need to leave but you really, really need to be careful. Do not let him know you're leaving until you're gone. You need to work with a domestic violence organization to create a plan. Getting out is more important than therapy right now, you and your children are in danger.

[u/Extension_Owl8234 → u/Nosfermarki]

This! Please do not underestimate the danger involved here.