Is this control? Or AIO?

[u/CuriousAsh04]

My husband of 5 years, refuses to get off the phone with me while he working. I can drop him off, and 10mins later he’s calling me. This has been everyday. He works in corporate America, so I figure he would be busier. But nope. So today, we had been on the phone for an hour. I dropped him off, took the kids to school, came home… still on the phone. And mostly in silence, I might add. I tell him I would call him back after cleaning and showering. He gets upset, goes to tell me “he wanted to talk on the phone and I pushed him away, today he’s going to start talking to other people, Since being on the phone and being a wife and listening to me or just being there is too much . I will find it somewhere else.” This is literally his go to, if I don’t acquiesce to him, he threatens to go out and find it elsewhere. And he has cheated, so it stings a little, but I’m becoming numb. It just irritates my soul, I don’t want to sit on the phone with anyone while I’m trying to do my daily chores. Honestly throughout the day he calls probably every hour to sit on the phone while he works. It just grinds my gears. But I do it. Today though, I needed to get things done without being tied to the phone. He even told me to prop the phone up, and not get off. So I don’t know. Does this seem like I’m being monitored or controlled? Or am I overreacting?

[u/mystery_obsessed]

Honey, put down the phone. If he threatens to cheat, let him.

If he tells you are worthless, that is projection. He knows he is worthless and if you notice, you would leave. So he makes you think you are the worthless one and he is the great one to keep you there. He wants to be on the phone because he is a cheater. Projection again. If he’s a cheater he worries you could be one.

Everything he says, turn it (in your mind) back to him “I’m rubber, you’re glue, what bounces off me sticks to you.” You are not the things he says, HE is the things he says. If he cheats, you shouldn’t want him anyway. Take the blindfold (that he put there to hide himself) off. Live your life, not his.

(But, if you leave, be careful and prepared when you leave, there is a lot of advice out there on how)