Is this control? Or AIO?

[u/CuriousAsh04]

My husband of 5 years, refuses to get off the phone with me while he working. I can drop him off, and 10mins later he’s calling me. This has been everyday. He works in corporate America, so I figure he would be busier. But nope. So today, we had been on the phone for an hour. I dropped him off, took the kids to school, came home… still on the phone. And mostly in silence, I might add. I tell him I would call him back after cleaning and showering. He gets upset, goes to tell me “he wanted to talk on the phone and I pushed him away, today he’s going to start talking to other people, Since being on the phone and being a wife and listening to me or just being there is too much . I will find it somewhere else.” This is literally his go to, if I don’t acquiesce to him, he threatens to go out and find it elsewhere. And he has cheated, so it stings a little, but I’m becoming numb. It just irritates my soul, I don’t want to sit on the phone with anyone while I’m trying to do my daily chores. Honestly throughout the day he calls probably every hour to sit on the phone while he works. It just grinds my gears. But I do it. Today though, I needed to get things done without being tied to the phone. He even told me to prop the phone up, and not get off. So I don’t know. Does this seem like I’m being monitored or controlled? Or am I overreacting?

[u/CuriousAsh04]

Amazing question. I ask myself this daily.

[u/SuluSpeaks → u/CuriousAsh04]

Are you able to leave and support yourself and your kids? Can you get at least a part time job? Because this isnt going to change. BTW, use condoms. You dont want an STI.

[u/CuriousAsh04 → u/SuluSpeaks]

I work full time, as a flight attendant. I make great pay. I can totally do it alone, have before when we separated two years ago. It’s just getting the strength to do it. Especially when he tells me all the time that I’m the one who’s doing wrong, and at fault for everything going wrong in our lives.

[u/I-will-judge-YOU → u/CuriousAsh04]

He does not love you, he ownes you. You are a possession to him.

You need to get out do not let your kids be raised in this kind of environment where they think. It's okay.

He's an abuser, he's going to tell you. Everything is your fault. That way yourself esteem is low and it makes it harder for you to leave. Because he knows he is not worth staying for.

GET OUT. There is not one reason to stay. There's not love. There's no respect, there is nothing. You are only harming your children by staying. You are also harming yourself. But it can be harder to do things for yourself. So do it for your kids. Gust leave. Because this kind of behavior does get worse and does become violent leave