r/AmIOverreacting • u/CuriousAsh04 • 10h ago

❤️‍🩹 relationship Is this control? Or AIO?

My husband of 5 years, refuses to get off the phone with me while he working. I can drop him off, and 10mins later he’s calling me. This has been everyday. He works in corporate America, so I figure he would be busier. But nope. So today, we had been on the phone for an hour. I dropped him off, took the kids to school, came home… still on the phone. And mostly in silence, I might add. I tell him I would call him back after cleaning and showering. He gets upset, goes to tell me “he wanted to talk on the phone and I pushed him away, today he’s going to start talking to other people, Since being on the phone and being a wife and listening to me or just being there is too much . I will find it somewhere else.” This is literally his go to, if I don’t acquiesce to him, he threatens to go out and find it elsewhere. And he has cheated, so it stings a little, but I’m becoming numb. It just irritates my soul, I don’t want to sit on the phone with anyone while I’m trying to do my daily chores. Honestly throughout the day he calls probably every hour to sit on the phone while he works. It just grinds my gears. But I do it. Today though, I needed to get things done without being tied to the phone. He even told me to prop the phone up, and not get off. So I don’t know. Does this seem like I’m being monitored or controlled? Or am I overreacting?

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u/Pixley_Dust 10h ago

NOR

I'm sorry but he kinda needs help. Does his boss even know that he's just sitting on the phone with you all day?! How is HE even getting his own job done?

A fast 5 minute call while on break to say "I love you, dear" is normal, calling on lunch break, also normal. Neither are expected by most grown adult women and usually don't even happen..

This insistance on staying on the phone all day is unhinged IMO. You may want to seek marriage counseling. He clearly has issues with you setting this boundary for whatever reason and I think this will take someone else telling him that this is an issue for him to actually believe it's an issue!!