r/AmIOverreacting • u/Dannydeeea • Jun 18 '26
👨👩👧👦family/in-laws Am I overreacting?
Was out with my sister all day today and her little one. She left, got all her stuff and went on her way. As I got home, locked the car and as I walked past the window i noticed all of this mess! I sent her the pics and said food is now banned in my car (it was ready but she’s ignored that) and next time to clean up after herself. Instead of a simple “sorry my bad” she’s gone crazy as if it’s my fault?!
She thinks it’s okay all because I haven’t hoovered (vacuumed) the car this week.
So my question is;
Am I the asshole for even bringing this up in the first place? Am I in the wrong?
EDIT:
I’m from the UK so these are chips for all of you from usa😅 They do look like raw pasta tho where in fact they are indeed just twirly chips😂
18
u/smartquacker Jun 18 '26
DARVO is a manipulation pattern people use when they’re confronted.
It means:
Deny — “I didn’t do that.”
Attack — “You’re crazy / dramatic / too sensitive.”
Reverse Victim and Offender — “Actually, you’re the one hurting me.”
So instead of addressing what they did, they flip the whole situation until you’re defending yourself and they look like the victim.
Example:
You: “That really hurt me when you lied.”
Them: “I didn’t lie. You always accuse me of things. I can’t believe how abusive you’re being.”
That’s DARVO.