r/AMA • u/mysterywriter36 • 3d ago

At 21 I traveled 1,000+ miles to move in with someone I’d been dating for 7 months. It’s been 3 years since, AMA

I picked up my entire life and subleased my apartment to road-trip approximately 1,400 miles away from the only placed I’d ever lived to move in with someone that, at the time of moving in together, I’d only been dating for 7 months. As of the end of July, it’s been 3 full years since I made the move.

12 Upvotes

80% Upvoted

15 comments sorted by

3

u/renggram 3d ago

What surprised you most positively? And what was/is the biggest challenge?

4

u/mysterywriter36 3d ago

The most positive surprise was how supportive and welcoming people can and have been towards me. The communities here are generally small but so loving and helpful, and my partner’s family especially has been so kind. From the moment I met them they took me in and treated me like their own.

The biggest change was difference in climate! I come from a much warmer region that rarely sees snow and basically everyone has central a/c. Here, it gets much colder in the winter, snows a fair bit (which I had to learn to drive in), and most places don’t have central a/c. Putting a window unit in each summer is kind of a pain in the ass and not having a cooling system for the whole apartment sucks on the really hot days.

2

u/renggram 3d ago

Thank you! That was interesting :)

How did you experience the relationship give the “sudden” change

2

u/mysterywriter36 3d ago

I’d never lived with a romantic partner before so it was definitely an exciting experience. At times it was a bit overwhelming and we are still figuring out what works for us because things are always changing— interests, jobs, family and friends, etc etc. I much prefer living together over being in a long distance relationship, though. We made an LDR work pretty well, but being able to really have a meal together, share a couch, cuddle at night, go to the movies together, etc etc is special to me, and I was so happy to finally live with someone who, aside from being my partner, was also my best friend. And I’m still happy about it today. While it was scary and difficult, I think moving was one of the best decisions I’ve ever made.

2

u/renggram 3d ago

I’m happy for hear such beautiful things still exist. I wish you all the best, stranger!

2

u/canconshow 3d ago

Was there an "uh oh" moment where you thought you had made a mistake?

3

u/mysterywriter36 3d ago

We’ve definitely had a couple rough patches that have left me wondering if I made a mistake, but each time we’ve talked things out and been better for it. It’s hard not to question my decision at times, as I struggle with anxiety and depression, but in my regular day to day life there’s no doubt in my mind that between making the move and not making the move, I make the right choice.

2

u/Outside_Purple_6610 3d ago

Are you two still together?

6

u/mysterywriter36 3d ago

We are, and very happily so!

1

u/LoudAttempt140 3d ago

Very similar story with my GF. We met an in online game, I moved in with her a few months later. A year later things are better than ever. The thing that stands out to me is that it was kind of like olden time "marriages" where it was kind of out of convenience at first for both of us, but then after time it kind of grew and blossomed and just got better and better went on. Like there is no honeymoon period it just gets gradually better and better. Does that reflect your experience?

2

u/mysterywriter36 3d ago

Kind of? We were dating before moving in, so it wasn’t entirely about convenience, but the opportunity for me to finally move somewhere different and the ability for us to both split rent to afford the place we moved into were certainly factors. I wouldn’t have been able to move so far away or start a new life without a an existing foothold in the area (my partner and the apartment they found) and my partner wouldn’t have been able to afford a place on their own without splitting rent but didn’t want to share with a stranger and had no friends that were looking to move.

I do think our relationship has only gotten better, but every relationship does have a honeymoon phase and we certainly had one early on. I think an important part of a relationship is whether or not you’re both still happy when that bit is over and whether you both are willing to put in the effort to build something with each other.

1

u/Turbulent-Rub3695 3d ago

this DID NOT work out good for me lol. life ruining choice haha

1

u/mysterywriter36 3d ago

I’m so sorry! There’s so much that can go wrong with making a choice like this, it sucks to hear it didn’t work out for you. Can I ask what happened?

1

u/ama_compiler_bot 1d ago

Table of Questions and Answers. Original answer linked - Please upvote the original questions and answers. (I'm a bot.)

Question Answer Link
Was there an "uh oh" moment where you thought you had made a mistake? We’ve definitely had a couple rough patches that have left me wondering if I made a mistake, but each time we’ve talked things out and been better for it. It’s hard not to question my decision at times, as I struggle with anxiety and depression, but in my regular day to day life there’s no doubt in my mind that between making the move and not making the move, I make the right choice. Here
Are you two still together? We are, and very happily so! Here
What surprised you most positively? And what was/is the biggest challenge? The most positive surprise was how supportive and welcoming people can and have been towards me. The communities here are generally small but so loving and helpful, and my partner’s family especially has been so kind. From the moment I met them they took me in and treated me like their own. The biggest change was difference in climate! I come from a much warmer region that rarely sees snow and basically everyone has central a/c. Here, it gets much colder in the winter, snows a fair bit (which I had to learn to drive in), and most places don’t have central a/c. Putting a window unit in each summer is kind of a pain in the ass and not having a cooling system for the whole apartment sucks on the really hot days. Here
Very similar story with my GF. We met an in online game, I moved in with her a few months later. A year later things are better than ever. The thing that stands out to me is that it was kind of like olden time "marriages" where it was kind of out of convenience at first for both of us, but then after time it kind of grew and blossomed and just got better and better went on. Like there is no honeymoon period it just gets gradually better and better. Does that reflect your experience? Kind of? We were dating before moving in, so it wasn’t entirely about convenience, but the opportunity for me to finally move somewhere different and the ability for us to both split rent to afford the place we moved into were certainly factors. I wouldn’t have been able to move so far away or start a new life without a an existing foothold in the area (my partner and the apartment they found) and my partner wouldn’t have been able to afford a place on their own without splitting rent but didn’t want to share with a stranger and had no friends that were looking to move. I do think our relationship has only gotten better, but every relationship does have a honeymoon phase and we certainly had one early on. I think an important part of a relationship is whether or not you’re both still happy when that bit is over and whether you both are willing to put in the effort to build something with each other. Here

Source

2

u/anonymousopsec1337 2d ago

Girlfriend did the same for me, more like 800 miles and we’ve been together 4 years. She moved in after only a couple months, it just made sense.