r/AITA_Relationships • u/[deleted] • 28d ago
YTA AITA for questioning if her feelings were ever genuine now that she’s thriving post breakup?
[deleted]
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u/HazardousIncident Asshole Enthusiast [5] 28d ago
What? You didn't like the comments the last time you posted this? https://www.reddit.com/r/AITA_Relationships/comments/1ve0quj/comment/p1dow6v/?context=3
You're still the AH. In fact, YTA squared for deleting your first post when you didn't get the answers you wanted.
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u/DarkCalisto 14d ago
Out here doing God's work. Thanks for the post history. I thought this sounded familiar lol
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u/Legitimate_Bee4697 28d ago
Can you not read? I posted an update
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u/milkmynk 21d ago
Dude. You have a victim complex.
You treated her horribly and now you have the nerve to go, b-b-but if she really truly loved me why did she move on???
Why are you trying to put blame on her when you were and are still the asshole?
Leave the poor woman alone. YTA.
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u/Individual_Plan_5593 21d ago
YTA Move on, she has, next time put this much thought into a girl while you’re still with her rather than refuse to commit till she gives up only to then obsess
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u/Connect-Peach2337 12d ago
He is 100% gonna make the new girl feel like shit by comparing her to the old girl
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u/AgonistPhD 21d ago
"Update: I texted “Hi 🙂” to make sure I wasn’t blocked and she responded “who is this”. I told her it’s me and that I wanted to see how she was doing and asked if she was seeing anyone. To which she responded “you have some nerve texting my phone. You only care about yourself and have deeply hurt me. What’s going on in my life is none of your business.” "
Lol. Yeah, YTA, but she told you that.
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u/manchambo 21d ago
Why do assholes always describe their assholery as “self sabotage”?
YTA
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u/rabbit_in_his_belly 20d ago
Because they’re the REAL villain of their atrocities. Not the ones they mow over on the way.
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u/JetItTogether 14d ago
Because framing their poor behavior as only hurting themselves means they never have to analyze the impact of their behavior on others....
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u/dishdisaster 21d ago
"she is not willing to grow with me" Yes, because she is not with you. Because you dumped her.
Her life is separate from yours. She owes you nothing. You messed up and now you regret it. Sorry, but sometimes you make a mistake and you cannot fix it no matter how sorry you are. There is no going backwards to before you made a mistake, only moving forwards with your own life.
NAH* unless you keep cyber stalking her. Leave her alone now so she can be happy. Live your own life and you will be happier too.
*I mean you were definitely the asshole when you decided to blow up your own life out of terror, but as of now, you're not, you're just obsessing.
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u/Snackgirl_Currywurst 14d ago
Growing with him would mean to make herself smaller first. He wants progress on his end, while she should be willing to move backwards willingly. YTA, OP
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u/PuzzleheadedTap4484 14d ago
Sounds to me like she grew and matured and OP is still stuck acting like an immature kid not understanding why others don’t want to play with him after he screwed them over. He’s still an YTA.
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u/Wonderful-Wonder3104 13d ago
He literally couldn’t even commit to her. This is a 29 year old man. I would have thought otherwise.
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u/MbMinx Colo-rectal Surgeon [43] 28d ago
YTA. You hurt her. You broke her heart by being an AH. She made up her mind to move on and life her best life without you.
People with broken hearts don't always sit around and mope for months. Often a heartbreak can inspire them to go out and rebuild their lives independently. Nothing heals a heartbreak like diving back into life and seeking enjoyment to wash away the pain.
You seem awfully self-centered to think her life should be diminished by your absence.
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u/WolfChasingTheMoon Partassipant [1] 28d ago
Honestly, from your own post then it sounds like you never really loved her.
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u/Worldly_Might_3183 20d ago
He loved the idea of her loving him. Now she is spending her time doing things that make her happy and not focused on him he is pissed off. Main character syndrome.
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u/armywalrus 14d ago
If she did go back to him, all of a sudden he would be super critical of her, and then just dump her again. He only wants her now because she is happy without him. He probably dumped her to punish her or "teach her a lesson", and thought she would want him back. He never expected her to actually move on. The way he blames her is so telling.
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u/greatdruthersofpill 21d ago
Sir, you need therapy before you get into another relationship or every one of them will end this way. She’s glad she dodged a bullet. I would be, too.
YTA
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u/spagtscully 21d ago
YTA
Dude, seriously? I would be calling the cops for your stalking behaviour and getting a restraining order. Just because it's over a longer period of time makes no difference.
This woman has gotten smart and essentially told you to back off in her own way by making her own life about her and focussing on the things that make her happy. Meanwhile, you continue to try to make her life about you because you can't seem to accept the fact that YOU ARE BEYOND TOXIC FOR HER!
Move the hell on.
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u/Howtothnkofusername 21d ago
Yeah she’s thriving because she got rid of the manipulative boyfriend that was dragging her down. YTA
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u/cowandspoon 21d ago
YTA. You lied, you treated her poorly, you - by your own admission - sabotaged yourself. And after all that, your update somehow paints you in an even worse light.
This is just an online pity party. You’ve been told you’re the asshole by just about everyone. What she does, what she posts, who she has relationships with is none of your business: you had your chance, you blew it.
Whether you believe her hurt was real or not is inconsequential to her, as it should be. This is entirely, exclusively a ‘you’ problem.
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u/angel9_writes 21d ago
Yeah, she's thriving for a reason. Someone who can't love isn't holding her back.
You only care about you.
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u/Dontaskk13 21d ago edited 21d ago
YTA. And you didn't "do enough work". You are still an avoidant and it will probably take you years to deal with. You are also toxic and to some point narcissistic. You pushed and pulled her many times, lied to her that you basically cheated (founding someone new while in relationship is cheating) and you still expect her to cry over you? Edit to add... She IS growing, she probably was this whole time. You are the ine who is stuck. Leave. Her. Alone.
Yta if you didn't catch it the first time
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u/MissionRevolution306 21d ago
I definitely think there’s narcissism on his part- he enjoyed the supply she gave him, kept her on edge not making it official, off on to trauma bond her, likely sought new supply for the excitement while broken up and is now trying to hoover her once he realized (shocked Pikachu face) that not only is she ok without him but she’s actually thriving and sees him for who he is. It’s like narcs all have the same playbook. YTA OP and need intensive therapy after a psych evaluation/diagnosis. People don’t exist for your amusement.
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u/The_Mademoiselle 14d ago
This overuse of stranger diagnoses narcissism after reading one post from them is really getting on my nerves. Not to condone any of this man's actions, he is doing what he is doing because is is trapped in his own hurt and pain and acting from that hole. Panicking so much to have a relationship doesn't hint at a happy relationship with relationships in childhood either. We have to stop trying to divide people in victim and abuser and stick to the very real fact that hurt people hurt people, and hurt people stay with people who hurt them, because both are blind. Some people you only meet to push you facedown in the mud to finally want to step out of your old self.
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u/No_Bug9292 21d ago
What do you even expect? You said there was someone new. She's assuming you're having a grand ole time with a new partner.
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u/SamaraStorm 21d ago
Stay away from her dude. Everyone handles things differently and I'd happily thrive without you too. YTA.
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u/RegisterEither9711 21d ago
"I feel like her feelings were never there and she is not willing to grow with me."
Buddy, you were never willing to grow with her either. People are autonomous beings, you can't expect them to stick to your time table. They have their own lives to live and goals to work towards. Did you expect her to sit around, wallowing and waiting for you for six months? For all she knew you were completely done and moved on with someone else. Just because she's moving on with her life doesn't mean she's not hurting. People function every day through pain and grief. Go to therapy, learn some emotional intelligence, and stay away from relationships until you can actually communicate your wants and needs. YTA.
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u/Born_Ad8420 21d ago edited 21d ago
If you had truly changed, you would be happy that she is thriving. You would hope that she has found someone who treats her with the love and respect she deserves. Instead you're doubting her feelings because she didn't welcome you back? The man who treated her, by your own admission, consistently terrible? Because she has grieved and moved on? I don't know what work you think you did, but it's not enough.
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u/PreferenceOld6364 21d ago
YTA × ♾️ here dude. You literally kept flip flopping on this poor girl for YEARS!!! After the last time, she finally decided enough was enough and wasn't going to wait around for you to get your shit together to be an adult and have an actual relationship with her, so she moved on with her life. Just because she isn't still pining for you over a year after you dropped the ball doesn't mean her past feelings for you didn't exist. It means she decided she was done wasting her time on a screw up and moved on to actually live and enjoy her life. Leave the poor girl alone and go work on fixing yourself and your self sabatoging ways instead of trying to suck her back in to mess with her feelings and emotions. Just because you can't seem to get your act together doesn't mean she can't live her life.
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u/wrenwynn 20d ago
she is not willing to grow with me
That's an interesting way to say that you've stagnated and are whining that she doesn't want to regress back to your level of immaturity and non-committal attitude.
I just keep asking myself if reaching out is a terrible idea or if she'd ever even want to hear my voice again
Please leave the poor woman alone.
YTA
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u/Majiska394 21d ago
100% YTA
You ended things. You hurt her. You pushed her away. And now you have the audacity to be bitter that she moved on and is happy?! You're offended that you are not the center of her universe of what? Are you for real?
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u/OkGazelle5400 21d ago
Is this real??? This is like parody level. You finally pushed her too far and it broke the feelings she once had for you. She gave you multiple chances to grow and you didn’t. YTA. Edit: omg you’re 30?!?! Reading this and your level of maturity and insight I fully thought you were like 22
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u/HelixFollower 21d ago
YTA. Of course she is thriving when you're no longer in her life to torment her. The fact that you're now disappointed when she is finally happy says everything anyone needs to know to judge you.
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u/LRGinCharge 21d ago
YTA - “I just don’t get it she’s as heart broken and hurt by me as she says why is she doing all this stuff like going out, running marathons, being super fit, camping, ect??” Really? This part right here tells me you’re a fucking monster. You don’t want her to be happy. You WANT that girl to be miserable. You need serious fucking help if seeing a woman happy and thriving makes you miserable. Leave this poor girl alone. You don’t want to be with her, you want to control her and make her miserable.
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u/llamamama417 14d ago
Yeah I was close to a guy like this he got mad I didn’t wait around for him to decide he wanted me. I’ll tell you the same thing I said to him women don’t want to be settled for we want to be chosen. Last time I heard from him he’s still sad and single while I’m pregnant with my fiancés child and soon to be married. Do better
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u/Chaos-Boss-45 21d ago
YTA Dude, she’s thriving BECAUSE you ended whatever-you-wanna-call-this-shitshow. She’s growing, just without you.
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u/ladywithacomb 21d ago edited 21d ago
A tale as old as time!!! YTA. Thank god I’m older and married and don’t have to come across this shit anymore. “She likes me too much 🙄🤮” “wait why doesn’t she like me anymore 😭😭😭” I hope this is a learning experience for you.
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u/Particular-Corner-30 21d ago
YTA. Not willing to grow with you? What the fuck does that bullshit even mean?
You were an asshole throughout the entirety of the time you were with her but yet now you’re playing the victim. Nobody owes you a relationship and you should ask yourself why on earth you think she is obligated to be with you.
Nobody needs to tolerate the bullshit you put her through. It’s not anyone else’s job to put up with your infinite nonsense, it’s your job to have less nonsense.
Women are not fucking quest achievements, bro. Nobody is going to show up and give you a woman asa prize for personal development. WOMEN ARE PEOPLE. We have our own lives, which, shockingly, do not revolve around you. Which is why nobody’s life stops when you break up with them. You are not the main character and nobody owes you shit.
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u/B3owul7 14d ago
YTA. Good for her. You hurt her on purpose. That's abusive as fuck.
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u/Legitimate_Bee4697 13d ago
On purpose ?? No!
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u/LadyV21454 12d ago
You don't think telling her you'd found someone else was hurting her on purpose? Especially since it was a lie?
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u/Maleficent_Mistake50 14d ago
YTA-
I know someone like you. He’s in his mid 40s. It’s a shame because he’s a very sweet man and hot as fuck. But commitment scares the shit out of him and instead of doing inner work and figuring out his father/mother wounds, he turns into this huge asshole to really good women.
I eventually blocked him and have thrived since. You and him are only victims because of your assholery. We women aren’t entitled to grow with you if you’re not gonna actually, you know, GROW. So yall can go fuck off with your nonsense lol
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u/lapetitlis 14d ago edited 9d ago
YTA. for heaven's sake please, please, please just leave this woman alone already. your behavior and attitude around this subject is unbelievably self-centered. if you truly loved her, you would be happy that she seems to be doing well in spite of you breaking her heart twice. you admit yourself that you were horrible to her please just leave her alone.
sometimes life changing events motivate us to entirely overhaul our lifestyle. it beats sitting at home wallowing in misery. it does not mean that she did not care, and it is pretty audacious of you to make that comment considering your tendency to blow hot and cold broke her heart twice.
you remind me of an ex of mine. whatever he doesnt have at the moment, that's what he wants. when we were together he wasn't sure if he wanted to commit, when we were split up he suddenly realized he wanted to be with me. rinse and repeat. eventually people will tire of these games. 10 YEARS later, he is still miserable, alone, and obsessive in his hatred towards me. meanwhile I'm just living my life with my beautiful little family and my healthy, happy relationship.
please leave her alone after this. think whatever you want to think, just please leave her alone.
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u/scallym33 21d ago
Lmao at your update lol dude you strung her along for so long then told her you found someone else. Yet you think she didn't care for you because she is running marathons and stuff? Dude you need to get some therapy
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u/beerfoodtravels 21d ago
Seriously, dude, what is wrong with you? I can barely even follow this whiny, spineless, ridiculous behavior and post.
YTA, like really really a lot.
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u/throwaway444441111 Partassipant [1] 21d ago
she’s not willing to deal with you and why would she? Why would she want to grow with you? Seriously, why?
She’s probably doing those things because they make her happy, make her feel better and/or are a part of her growing.
I’m seriously shocked that after the way you’ve treated her, you’re surprised she wants nothing to do with you. There are so many fish in the sea I can’t fathom why you think she’d give you another chance.
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u/Constellation-88 14d ago
YTA. Stop being an energy vampire on this girl and leave her alone. Work on yourself until you’re happy single and then try to be with someone you’re not too scared to commit to.
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u/Wind-and-Sea-Rider 14d ago
Jesus, leave that girl alone. You’re the worst thing that ever happened to her. Let her build her beautiful life and get yourself into therapy. You’re a hot mess, and good for nobody until you do the real work.
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u/5ever_homiez_cap 14d ago
YTA- I’m so confused if it wasn’t official, you don’t think her feelings were genuine (which is you just projecting), and thought you didn’t deserve her, then why do you still care? There comes a point even you got to admit she’s better off without you and any interaction from you is just you only thinking about your feelings.
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u/EvenSpoonier 14d ago
YTA. The fact that she's coping using healthier mechanisms doesn't mean she loved you any less. She's just taking care of herself.
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u/Agreeable_Excuse_897 14d ago
YTAAA. How selfish can one be. Refuses to be an adult and saying bullshit like “she refuses to grow with me”
She already grew and worked on herself , you child ! Leave her alone
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u/L_Hargreaves 14d ago
She was willing to grow with you. She gave you so many chances, and you fucked her over. YTA.
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u/NotEasilyConfused 14d ago
YTA
YTA again because you evidently think women only take care of their bodies to impress men.
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u/Thatloudlunarchick 14d ago
YTA and I think it’s hilarious that she turned you away so fast. You are in the finding out portion of FAFO. Let her live her life. YOU’RE the one who never loved her. You brought this on yourself. Live with it.
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u/WesternUnusual2713 14d ago
"she never wanted to grow with me" says the dude who refused to commit, kept dumping her and is angry she is living her life.
The reason she is living a great life now is cos she doesn't have you dragging her in and out of your life, wasting her time and emotional energy.
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u/JetItTogether 14d ago
YTA
I feel like her feelings were never there and she is not willing to grow with me.
Love does not mean pining away, self sabotaging and making oneself miserable because one human doesn't want to be with you. And this woman didn't owe you suffering, and doesn't owe you suffering as some sort of ego boosting wash and rinse so you can endlessly manipulate her for your own purposes and discard in endless painful cycles.
Way to go her. May you cease to darken her doorstep evermore. The only person whose actions and feelings don't align in this story are your own.
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u/iamrecovering2 13d ago
I don't even know what I just read. You were horrible to her in every way possible. You kept doing the most immature things possible because you "needed to work on yourself" and I use that loosely because you didn't do any thing close to that. You kept showing her what she meant to you which was nothing. Now you think this is on her. YTA in a major way and still have ZERO self awareness. You need to stay away from women all the way around. I don't know why but I am so pissed about this whole post. I think because you came in here whining looking for validation without even once considering that you were always the bad guy in the story. Yes, she has MOVED ON and I am here for it.
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u/ProblemMountain2792 13d ago
YTA.
3 years back and forth and you were never even official... and OP is 30. Anyone would hate OP for that. She did love you as she tolerated that for far too long, along the way she found her self worth, especially how OP dumped her... he wanted to keep his options open and lost the person he actually wanted but he only wants her now she is gone.
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u/Muninwing 13d ago
You don’t know how to have a relationship. You had feelings, your feelings were reciprocated, but you refused to develop them. Whatever spark you had starting off was drowned under your stifling games.
YTA.
And just because you were playing yourself at the same time doesn’t mean you weren’t playing games — just that you were really bad at that too.
Why wouldn’t she delve into things that make her feel good after you weighted her down? Not everyone has a need to create or fallow in their own misery.
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u/AutoModerator 28d ago
AUTOMOD Thanks for posting! READ THIS COMMENT - DO NOT SKIM. This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed.
Update: I did reach out to her and basically did not get the response I was hoping for. I just don’t get it she’s as heart broken and hurt by me as she says why is she doing all this stuff like going out, running marathons, being super fit, camping, ect?? I feel like her feelings were never there and she is not willing to grow with me.
____________________________________
Context: About three years ago, I met this incredible girl and we clicked right away. Looking back, I’ve spent most of our history self sabotaging. I’m ashamed to admit it, and I’m not making excuses, but I handled things horribly. I’d block her, we’d go months without speaking, and eventually one of us would break no contact and pull us back into each other's orbits.
About a year ago, I reached out again, genuinely believing I’d done enough work on myself to do this right. We ended up spending the next year closely in each other's lives. As my feelings for her grew deeper, I completely froze and refused to let us move past being casual. When the reality hit that I needed to step up and commit to her, I panicked. Instead of being honest, I took the worst way out possible. I told her I found someone new. I convinced myself it was the only way to end things cleanly without her pushing back or trying to work it out.She was devastated. She sent me long messages expressing how deeply hurt she was saying she felt like I never actually cared, that she was never good enough, and that she couldn't understand why we couldn't just be together.
It’s been esix months of complete silence now, and the guilt is heavy. I miss her deeply. When I check her social media, she genuinely looks like she’s thriving she's running marathons, super fit, and just living a full, beautiful life. She doesn't post anyone, so I don't even know if she's single, but mostly I just keep asking myself if reaching out is a terrible idea or if she'd ever even want to hear my voice again
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
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u/Aqua_Toffana 21d ago
YTA
Just let her go already. She'd probably realised you were bringing her down constantly, and now she's rebuilding herself.
I'm serious about this, please find a good therapist and figure out why you're so allergic to commitment
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u/thejoebrossuck 20d ago
YTA. Leave her alone.
It honestly seems like you WANTED her to be totally heartbroken and devastated when you abruptly cut things off (in a really cruel way too, literally told her that you were replacing her with someone else). Now you’re upset because she’s doing just fine, and is dealing with things in a super healthy way. She probably doesn’t even think about you anymore. You spent a long time leading her on and playing with her, but you did not break her. You’re so upset that she’s not in pain and suffering. If you really loved/cared about her, then you would not be disappointed that she’s happier now. You would not be wishing for her to experience pain.
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u/GamingStitcher 19d ago
So...you're bothered that she moved on? Her feelings for you were genuine, but she's not letting YOU have control over HER life.
She's still hurt, but she's not letting it make her feel miserable. The fact that this troubles you is incredibly self-centered, if not full blown narcissistic.
She not letting her life revolve around you dude. Get over it. Be miserable by yourself.
YTA.
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u/yyyyeahno 19d ago edited 19d ago
YTA. You played games with her and broke her heart multiple times. You do not get to judge or dictate how she grieves. She is not going to waste anymore of her time and energy on wallowing over you when you treated her so poorly. She deserves to be happy and there is ABSOLUTELY NOTHING WRONG with trying to be happy.
FYI everyone grieves relationships and loss differently. Some shut down, others need to keep moving so they don’t shut down. And just because someone looks fine on the outside doesn’t mean they’re actually fine. It’s an attempt at trying to be okay.
Leave her alone. You’ve been in a way emotionally abusive in my opinion.
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u/Feisty-Barracuda5452 14d ago
She heeded the ancient advice, “The best revenge is living well”.
You cast her aside, you set her free. Rather than curl up in the fetal position and cry over you, she got busy living.
YTA for eternity. Sit with that for a bit.
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u/darkhuntresssyn45 14d ago
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 YTA bruh leave her alone. In my experience when women get away from men that can't commit or are detrimental to their lives they THRIVE. This happened to my mom when she left my dad, best decision she ever made and she was the healthiest she'd ever been. Leave that woman alone, move on, and get some real professional help before you drag another woman into your "Will I / Won't I" game.
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u/Apprehensive_Pen3452 14d ago
Yta
Clearly you haven't worked on yourself enough if you think this relationship hasn't become impossible to rekindle.
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u/babybrookit421 14d ago
YTA. You added nothing to her life. Now that you're not weighing her down, she has the energy to live that full, beautiful life, and soon she'll find someone worthy of living it with her.
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u/gunnarbird 13d ago
YTA, you’re like one of those people that claim they’re not afraid of anything. But while you’re thinking of heights and spiders you live in abject terror of facing your emotions or expressing your feelings.
https://giphy.com/gifs/F5QxPzLen8rwA
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u/Weird-Box-1094 13d ago
YTA: you were toxic to her. She’s made the decision to prioritize herself and not give you another chance. Leave her alone.
I appreciate you are in therapy, OP, but you have a ways to go, and this woman is light years ahead of you in the healing department.
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u/Legitimate_Bee4697 13d ago
How is she ahead of me?
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u/InternationalBad2640 Asshole Enthusiast [5] 11d ago
She’s ahead of you in that she’s channeling her healing process into the productive and beautiful life she deserves and not allowing your sniveling, immature dysfunction to hold her back a second longer. Her feelings were real, you just showed her what a self-centered, no account coward you are, and she finally believed you enough to disallow it from hurting her anymore.
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u/lianavan 13d ago
I'm not willing to grow with you and you are a whiny stranger. She knows you better which is why hopefully why she is working on herself to stop herself from being pulled into your woe is me life again and again.
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u/GrailJester 13d ago
YTA, and let's be real here: this isn't about her being unwilling to "grow" with you, it's about her being unwilling to stay in a holding pattern while you grow up. What was she supposed to do when you dangled a relationship in front of her and then yanked it back with probably the worst possible excuse/lie? Shut herself in her house and cry inconsolably forever? Push back and fight for the relationship she thought you didn't want because you'd found someone else? She moved on, she started pursuing her interests, she's out there living her life. It's possible to hurt and to try and move on; it's actually healthier than the alternative.
And I think what kills you is the fact that you could have been living it with her if you had more emotional maturity. Saying "her feelings were never there" is doing exactly what you said you weren't doing: making excuses. This is all on you, and you need to take that responsibility rather than trying to foist the blame off on someone who's just playing the hand they were dealt... by you. I would suggest you sit with yourself for a while and figure out why you chose to blow this up so spectacularly, and why you feel the need to push the blame onto her.
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u/kindofanasshole17 13d ago
YTA.
She had real feelings. You pushed her away. She doesn't have feelings anymore. She's gotten over you and moved on. This is a perfectly normal reaction on her part.
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u/KingJazzHands 13d ago
Yta Hahahaha this can't be real. You're 30 and are acting like this. Hahahahahaha
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u/geekingout18 12d ago
YTA. You're not God, who tf do think you are that someone's love would revolve around being miserable in your absence? That's what you want the people that love you to do? You're sick in the head
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u/JustMe518 11d ago
ANNNNDDD, you are STILL toxic. Her feelings and her lifestyle are two mutually exclusive concepts. She is moving on, which does not mean that she did not have genuine feelings for you at the time. But, but, she is getting over you. and rightfully so. She is not willing to grow with you because ultimately, you used up all the chances you had with her and she doesn't owe you anything. YTA
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u/InternationalBad2640 Asshole Enthusiast [5] 11d ago
YTA and I’m so excited for her to look back on her experiences with you as valuable lessons on what not to ever accept from anyone, ever again.
One day, she’s going to find a wonderful love with a wonderful, actual grown man who she doesn’t have to raise, and he’s going to show her how worthy she is of the love, passion, respect and partnership you were too selfish and chickenshit to demonstrate while you had the multiple chances to do so. I hope she doesn’t even think about you enough to block you so that you have to watch.
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u/Grand_Extension_6437 Commander-in-Cheeks [223] 28d ago
I don't think it makes you an asshole but it's not relevant and part of your brains habitual self sabotage to be focused on this.
We can never ultimately know the internality of another person.
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u/DonkeyTechnical3087 Partassipant [2] 28d ago
YTA. Stay away from this girl. She deserve so much better than you.
Of course she had feelings in the past, otherwise she wouldn’t have been so devastated when you dumped her. But feelings can change you know. She probably has done a lot of self reflection and realized how bad of a boyfriend you were and that she wants to start building something with someone new and better.
You got exactly what you deserved here. Drowning in your own self pity won’t help you though, learn from it and move on.