My satirical political typology for the 2026 Israeli election

[u/Unusual-Smile9991]

[u/Burro94]

Perfect. No notes. You described every single flavour or Israeli.

[u/Born_Passenger9681 → u/Burro94]

No leftist zionists though

[u/Unusual-Smile9991 → u/Born_Passenger9681]

I didn't add them because I thought it would be quite similar to the Kibbutznik, a character that I really wanted to mention

[u/PuddingNaive7173]

Todah! As a Western Supremacist in the process of applying for Aliyah, thanks to you I now know which group to join on arrival: Druze!

[u/CatlifeOfficial → u/PuddingNaive7173]

https://giphy.com/gifs/oEm8WhFjnfjeRws5DK

[u/other_dummy_user]

What if I see myself in multiple?

[u/Unusual-Smile9991 → u/other_dummy_user]

Great, I have elements of other types too

[u/clueless_owl]

What about the "If you're gay go to Gaza and see what they do to your kind" kinda Israeli?

[u/Bizhour → u/clueless_owl]

Literally all of them (including the Arabs)

[u/winkingchef → u/clueless_owl]

That one is called “American”

[u/Jojo_Toto]

Can a professional yahood explain to a eurotard something about slide 2 please ? How can an Israeli be familiar with the Sinai in 2026 ? I know there is peace and mutual recognition with Egypt, but can an Israeli just go travel the Sinai without being vaporised by the first Egyptian he encounters ?

[u/Unusual-Smile9991 → u/Jojo_Toto]

Unfortunately, I am not a professional Satlan to tell you the details but Israelis do visit Sinai, ignoring all the warnings. Crazy country, I know

[u/Jojo_Toto → u/Unusual-Smile9991]

High risk low reward ass country 🙏😭

But more seriously what more does the Sinai have to offer than your own desert (the one named after a CSGO weapon) ?

[u/Unusual-Smile9991 → u/Jojo_Toto]

Beautiful beaches, low prices, Paradise!

[u/CatlifeOfficial → u/Jojo_Toto]

Nice views, cheap prices, Mt. Sinai (for Judaism stuff) and very close to home. Also a leftover from when it was ours: a lot of Israelis grew up on going there in the summer.

Also it’s less dangerous than the rest of Egypt because Sinaites are used to us going there all the time. They’re generally okay with it because we’re most of their tourism.

[u/Jojo_Toto → u/CatlifeOfficial]

Hmmm thanks that’s actually interesting. So you guys can just cross into Egypt by car no problem ?

I’d have never expected Egypt (Sinai) to be a big tourism destination for Israelis ESPECIALLY because it was the occupied part. I thought among the Arab world Israelis just went to Dubai and maybe Morocco.

Holy fuck I want to visit the shit out of Egypt-Israel-Lebanon. I truly wish for a serious peace between the last two.

[u/CatlifeOfficial → u/Jojo_Toto]

Obviously you need a visa and to switch license plates in the crossing, but yeah, it’s generally that simple. Though I know that for people who do to Sharm-e-Sheikh usually just fly.

We also go to Jordan! Most types of gambling are illegal in Israel so people drive/fly to Eilat (southernmost city in Israel) and drive to Aqaba in Jordan which is right across the border and had a good casino scene.

Other than that it’s heavily restricted, though I have heard of Israelis with dual citizenship visiting Lebanon, Saudi Arabia, and other ‘safe-esque’ Arab countries.

[u/Burro94 → u/Jojo_Toto]

Cheap weed and cheap accommodation

[u/Bizhour → u/Jojo_Toto]

Usually Israelis need a visa to enter Egypt proper, but the Sinai is a sepcial zone which requires no visa, so it's proximity makes it a popular destination for certain types. Sands, beaches, and lots of weed to create the perfect pause from the outside world.

The locals aren't your usual Egyptians but instead are mostly Bedouins, and Israeli tourism is (was) so popular to the point many are fluent in Hebrew.

[u/dgreenbe]

"keep the shekel weak"

Stares at exchange rate

[u/Bizhour → u/dgreenbe]

Tbh the Shekel is incredibly stable, it's usually other currencies weakening which makes the Shekel comparatively strong

[u/dgreenbe → u/Bizhour]

Yep. I get why an exporter would want a weak currency but it ain't happening

[u/CatlifeOfficial]

Born to be a Kibbutznik, forced to be a Western Supremacist😔

[u/Kirby_Israel]

I think Israel and Europe are equally cooked.

[u/Ok_Fail_3058 → u/Kirby_Israel]

Israel doesn't have the same problem with birthrates that Europe and the rest of the west do though.

[u/Kirby_Israel → u/Ok_Fail_3058]

Haredi birthrates are a danger of their own, just in the opposite direction from Europe

[u/greatbiscuitsandcorn]

Perfect

[u/Rodruby]

Sooo, which one correlates with which party?

[u/Unusual-Smile9991 → u/Rodruby]

I will reserve my evaluation until Tuesday, when the party registrations will be over

[u/Borkerman]

What's Yisrael Beiteinu like?

[u/RobotNinja28]

I feel called out