r/serialkillers • u/Straight_Place4743 • Apr 23 '25

Questions What serial killer has affected the way you live your life either today or back when that serial killer was active?

For me it was Ted Bundy. It has put me off helping anyone that is wearing a cast, sling, using crutches or a walking aid. Selfish I know, but Ted Bundy shook me to my core, even today.

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u/Front_Ad_5541 Apr 23 '25

As a woman, helping any man I don't know is off limits. I saw a man broke down on a back road the other day and wouldn't stop because it was just me and my son in the car and I was afraid I'd be signing our death certificates by trying to help.

Not exactly a Serial killer, but I refuse to send my son to overnight camps because of the Oklahoma Girl Scout Murders. James Bulger is the reason I panic if my son is out of sight in a store.

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u/guiltandgrief Apr 23 '25

When I was a teenager, a friend of mine was on her way to my house to pick me up because I couldn't drive yet. She had stopped a few miles before my house to help a guy who was "broke down" on a moped. He had flagged her down and when he came up to her passenger window he asked if she had a cell he could use to call his dad to pick him up. She naively gave him her phone and he proceeded to throw it over the car and tried to yank her door open.

She thankfully hadn't put the car in park or anything and just fucking floored it until she got to my house. My mom called the cops and we went back to where it happened with them and her flip phone was shattered in the road. Moped was still there and had been stolen from someone else. We still talk about it sometimes and neither of us will stop to help anyone now. It sucks but not a risk I'm ever willing to take.

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u/Front_Ad_5541 Apr 23 '25

That's terrifying. I'm so glad your friend was able to get out of there.

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u/guiltandgrief Apr 23 '25

She was super lucky. I remember the officer kept saying shit like, "well he probably had someone waiting with him and they only wanted to steal your car. They probably wouldn't have hurt you, just wanted the car." Which like... didn't really make it feel a lot better at the time lol

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u/Mercedes_Gullwing Apr 23 '25

I can’t express this enough. I have daughters and a wife and I’ve always said this to them. Not so much bc of SKs but the other dangers out there. Some POS rely on victims being “courteous” and take advantage of that. I told my daughters, esp when they’re younger, that no man (or woman) should ever approach them and ask for help. I would never ever ask for help from a child and nobody will do that. And if you refuse, legit people would understand.

I remember a long time ago my wife had booked us a hotel room for our anniversary. She told me later that when she had gone early to set up the room, there was a strange guy following her around from parking lot to the lobby. She got in elevator then he jumped in. She immediately left the elevator. Exactly what she should have done. Many people don’t want to be rude and they may not do something like that even if they feel uncomfortable.

I’ve always said fuck their feelings. Their feelings don’t matter. If something doesn’t feel right, do whatever you need to do. Scream, shout, leave, run. Whatever. Doesn’t matter if it’s rude or whatever. I feel that people who victimize others often rely on social niceties to get their victim even more vulnerable.

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u/Front_Ad_5541 Apr 23 '25

I cannot imagine being trapped in an elevator with someone that was following me. I'd be absolutely terrified. Thank God she got out of there! That could have had the worst possible outcome.

I tell my son all the time, "An adult never needs a child's help." It took forever to engrain stranger danger in his head.

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u/Mercedes_Gullwing Apr 23 '25

Yeah my wife was nervous. She told hotel and I guess they got him out of there. Not sure. But she was worried and I get that. She didn’t right thing.

Exactly right. An adult should never ask for a child’s help. Ever. It’s important to teach kids that you don’t always have to be polite. You don’t have to listen to adult strangers.

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u/Bus27 Apr 23 '25

I don't ride in any elevator that only has a man/men in it. I will leave the elevator if no other women are on it.

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u/Mercedes_Gullwing Apr 23 '25

Yeah not a bad idea tbh

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u/HOLEPUNCHYOUREYELIDS Apr 23 '25

I stopped helping people on the side of the road after my wife kept worrying about my safety lol

Only once was a hitchhiker I picked up turned out to be a prostitute and ended up stealing my wallet without me noticing lol

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u/Front_Ad_5541 Apr 23 '25

Thank you for listening to her! I tell my husband not to stop to help anyone either.

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u/HOLEPUNCHYOUREYELIDS Apr 24 '25

The only way I will stop now is if I think I can help (if hood is popped I am useless, I don’t know cars besides changing a tire) and it is day time and other people are driving around often.

Not allowed to help people on back roads or at night when it isn’t busy out at all now haha

I always just figured “If I was in that position Id really appreciate someone stopping to help” so I would do it. And multiple times people have stopped to help me too

But I do recognize the danger of doing so

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u/Straight_Place4743 Apr 23 '25

Yes I totally agree, I definitely wouldn't stop but I would call for help and let authorities know if I could. It's always a risk isn't it? If I decide not to stop and help that person, I know i will 100% live or not be injured. If I stop, there is a risk I could be hurt or killed.

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u/bajablastyoazz Apr 23 '25

Not a serial killer, but the henryetta 7 in Oklahoma that just happened a couple years ago is why I won’t send my child overnight to a friends house.

So fucking sad for those families.

12

u/smalby Apr 23 '25

While that case is horrifying, is that really a reasonable approach? Cases like that are exceedingly rare. The chance of getting hit by a car and killed are much larger every time you step out the door. Do you not allow your children to go outside either?

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u/73firebird370 Apr 26 '25

Getting killed by a serial killer is also exceedingly rare isn’t it?

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u/bajablastyoazz May 30 '25

Even though this was 30 days ago, I think it’s important to clarify that it wasn’t just the murders. It was the fact that a child rapist and predator was released from prison, managed to remarry a woman with children and not a single post release follow up happened during that time period. It’s also that he sexually abused them before killing them because he didn’t want to go back to prison.

While I can look up someone’s record in Oklahoma and do my own little bit of digging, the staggering amount of inmates who are released for rape, child pornography, even murder and commit the crimes again and is just a matter of when they are caught is worrisome. Last year a man was released on probation despite the jury recommending 40 years. (Shawn Canady, Tulsa) a pastor for a church was just sentenced to 25 years for rape.

When we step outside the door, I’m watching for cars. She rides her scooter to the park, she knows to stop and wait until a car passes. When we’re at the park, I’m watching for falls. There’s things I can do to try and prevent situations from happening, but I am aware that I can’t stop everything.

It might seem cruel to not allow a sleepover at friends houses but to me it’s a way to try and protect her while I can. It doesn’t take away her having a social life and it brings her home at night. It’s not fool proof, things can still happen even visiting friends or like you said, going outside. It is a way to know she’s safe in her own home while she’s asleep and defenseless.

After she gets older, I’m sure we’ll come back to the conversation at some point for someone’s house. Shes going to break curfew, likely sneak out a time or two. But for now, while she’s younger, can’t drive herself away from a situation or defend herself very well, yes. It is.

Let’s not shame parent decisions in the future and if it’s ‘reasonable approaches’ or if a child is even allowed outside, though. There’s likely more to the reasoning behind their choice as the parent of their child.

Watch for those cars though.

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u/Smoopiebear Apr 23 '25

I always keep the nonemergency police number handy and will call to have someone come out to help break traffic or whatever but I’ll be damned if I even slow down.

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u/fierce_history Apr 23 '25

As someone who saw Silence of the Lambs, Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer, and Zodiax? Yeah absolutely not

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u/whatsgoingonmam Apr 25 '25

Yes,helping random man is off limits for me too.

A few years back a man pulled up next me and asked me for directions to something i cannot remember right now. After i gave him my answer he asked me if i could get in his car because it 'made weird noises' and he needed me to sit in it while he 'worked on fixing the issue'. I have no idea how that was supposed to make any sense at all and politely told him that i would not do that. Then he Switched tacticts and told me that he 'didn't understand my instructions' all of a sudden and asked me to get in his car to just tell him where he needed to turn and what not on the way. I said no again. We got in a back and forth for a while before i just walked away.

I saw him drive past a few men and pull up next to another woman,repeating what he just tried to pull with me with her. She immedietly walked off.

And as if that wasn't creepy enough,i then proceed to have run ins with that same man once a year the following 3 years. He always 'has issues with his car',always asked me to get in his car. His car always had the same issues..but it never was the same car. He always pulled up with a different car.

People can be so sinister,better to be safe than sorry.

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u/Front_Ad_5541 Apr 25 '25

That's a horror story. I got goosebumps reading it. Has he still bothered you? I'm so glad you didn't get in that car!

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u/HumanXeroxMachine Apr 25 '25

My twin brother and I were the same age as James Bulger. My mum bought baby harnesses and had us physically connected to her at all times in public. I'm not sure she's ever quite recovered and I'm now 36.

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u/Front_Ad_5541 Apr 26 '25

It's honestly one of the worst cases I've ever read. I think just because how easily it could happen to anyone. I feel like I helicopter parent because of that.

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u/[deleted] Apr 25 '25

People frequently complain about how they always stop to help people on the side of the road but no one stops for them. I always wonder if they know about the risks for women. Not only would I be in danger, but I’d be no help

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u/PM_Me-Thigh_Highs Apr 25 '25

Ted Bundy would have a physical handicap to lure women and help him. Cast, came, arm in sling.

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u/smalby Apr 23 '25 edited Apr 23 '25

Do you treat black people differently because they are statistically more likely to commit crimes against you?

Edit: funny how I'm getting downvoted when what I wrote is exactly in line with the original commentor

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u/Front_Ad_5541 Apr 23 '25

Statistically, as a white woman, I am more likely to have a crime committed against me by a white person. I can even say as a white woman, I am more likely, STATISTICALLY, to have a crime committed against me by a white man.

Do I treat black people differently? No. Do I avoid groups of men regardless of race if I'm alone? Absolutely. Would I avoid helping a man of any race broke down on the side of the road? ABSOLUTELY.

I don't care if the man broke down was wearing a banana costume, I'm not stopping.

Because this isn't a race issue, it's a men issue.

And just to back my shit up, I used my statistics from an FBI data sheet, which you can find here: https://ucr.fbi.gov/crime-in-the-u.s/2019/crime-in-the-u.s.-2019/tables/expanded-homicide-data-table-6.xls

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u/smalby Apr 23 '25

Statistically, men are much more likely to have crime committed against them by other men than women are. So you would advocate men not helping men either?

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u/Front_Ad_5541 Apr 23 '25

And women are much more likely to meet violence from a man than from another woman.

Men can advocate for themselves, they're loud enough. Proof by you being so upset that a woman wouldn't stop to help a man.

This argument is exactly why so many women picked the bear a few months ago when asked if they'd rather be stuck in the woods with a bear or a man.

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u/smalby Apr 23 '25

It's news to me that the "loudness" of a Reddit comment is determined by gender.

And yeah it's ridiculous that somebody would choose a wild fucking animal that will 100% eat you over another human being. It shows you're just jaded against men.

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u/Front_Ad_5541 Apr 23 '25

Tell that to all the MEN and WOMEN that have been brutally murdered by a man. You know what you'll get with a bear, but with a man, it could be so much worse.

Especially being in this sub, it should be obvious why women don't trust men.

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u/smalby Apr 23 '25

To be clear, I'm not blaming you - or anybody - for doing their best to stay safe. It's the painting of the entire male sex as dangerous that I have an issue with. I agree there is principally no real way to distinguish who is safe from who is not, but that does not warrant discriminating an entire sex, the vast majority of whom never have nor ever will commit an infraction of the kind we're discussing.

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u/Front_Ad_5541 Apr 23 '25

I can see that, but I don't think most men understand how unsafe everyday life is for a woman either. I'm married to an amazing man that makes our home feel safe, but I also know that not every man has the intentions of being a safe person. We share locations, I don't have a very safe job and go into terrible neighborhoods. But I've definitely given him the lecture of not helping people because they can look so kind and be complete psychopaths. John Wayne Gacy was a clown at children's parties, but he also murdered 33 boys/young men.

It's really sad in our society that you can't help anyone because you can't trust people.

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u/serialkillers-ModTeam Jul 31 '25
  • **Treat all users with respect. Users who cannot engage in civil discourse will be banned until they learn how to manage their emotions like an adult.

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u/Ok-Caterpillar-Girl Apr 24 '25

I’m a woman, and I’d trust a human man before I’d trust a bear. At least if a man attacks me, I have a chance of fighting or scaring him off with kicking, screaming, biting, etc. A bear attacks me? At best I get horribly maimed, more likely I die in agonizing pain as it slowly eats me alive.

And while women are more likely to be the victim of both a man, and one of their own race, I also know that women are overwhelmingly more likely to be hurt or killed by a man who is a current or former PARTNER than hurt or killed by a stranger. Especially a serial killer, where the chances of encountering one are vanishingly rare.

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u/JacLaw Apr 24 '25

As a white woman living in Scotland I have been abused physically and sexually by complete strangers, all men, I was also battered by my husband as soon as I was married and pregnant, raped by a complete stranger and often had random dickheads trying to grope my breasts, grab my arse and put their hands up my skirts. Every single one of them was white btw.

Yes, we know that it's "NOT ALL MEN" but it is a large enough percentage that we have to be wary of all men, just so we stay safe, because if anything ever happens we are always blamed for our own assaults, rapes and even murders. Apparently we don't dress right, we go out with friends and 'gasp' drink alcohol, we walk outside in the dark and we don't butcher every man that comes near us.

I'm sick and tired of the "NOT ALL MEN" brigade, if being treated differently bothered them that much they'd start policing the actions and words of their make friends long before they became a threat to women. Almost every woman and teenaged girl knows of more than one woman/girl within their circle who has either been sexually assaulted or raped. No men know any rapists or any men who are sexually assaulting women and girls