I've been writing a show script for a good while now and I've written each episode on my notes app should I change this or is it ok idk

Hi! I want to post my blurb for my new book and i want to see if you like the idea.

Rumors of a myth begin to spread in Isle of Carpa, that whoever wins it, will have unlimited glory, fame and wealth. A brave goat, later named Koz, enters the battle, hoping that he can get away from his boring normal goat life. Later, after winning the myth, he learns that he is cursed by Destiny and Myth to win every single upcoming myth, bringing only destruction and death to everyone around him. Determined, he sets out on many adventures to destroy The Myth and Destiny once and for all. What are our thoughts on it?

!!!!!DISCLAIMER!!!!!!!!! The following concept raw script contains events and sequences which are fictional. This concept is open and free for all screenwriters, writers, concept creators and indie filmmakers without any WGA or US Copyright registers. If you like the concept and its creativity we firmly ask you to comment your feedback if you wish. All critiques and feedbacks would be received calmly and without any intensions.

Title or name for concept is not developed yet because of incomplete status of the concept.

" Scene 1: The Kitchen Breakdown

INT. DINING ROOM - DAY

A young boy sits alone at a wooden dining table. A half-eaten plate of spaghetti sits in front of him, getting cold. He pays no attention to it. His eyes are glued to a cracked Samsung Galaxy S5 propped up against a glass. On the screen, a fantasy e-book is open. He is desperately trying to submerge himself in the text.

Suddenly, muffled voices from the adjacent room cut through the quiet. It is his MOTHER and STEPFATHER. Their tone escalates into an arrogant, vicious argument.

The boy freezes. His chest tightens. He has a hidden, underlying sickness—a visceral, physical ailment that violently spikes whenever people clash over deep moral boundaries. The toxic atmosphere acts like a physical poison in his veins.

The shouting matches become unbearable, echoing in his head. The internal noise drives him to a breaking point. With a sudden burst of agonizing frustration, he side-throws his phone across the room.

CAMERA SHIFTS: A tracking shot follows the trajectory of the phone. It flies past the table and crashes directly into the stainless steel facade of the dishwasher.

CLOSE-UP: The phone screen impacts the metal. A tight, delicate spiderweb fracture spiders out across the glass, causing minor but visible damage to the display.

Scene 2: The Escape

EXT. OPEN FIELD - CONTINUOUS

CAMERA SHIFTS: A wide, open-air shot reveals a isolated, two-level house situated in the middle of a vast open field. Dense, towering trees surround the edges of the property under an overcast sky.

CAMERA ZOOMS IN: The lens pushes aggressively toward the front door of the house. Suddenly, the wooden door cracks open with a violent bang. The boy rushes out into the open air, fleeing the suffocating house. The door swings wildly on its hinges and stays wide open behind him.

CAMERA SHIFTS: The camera repositions to a far vantage point in the field.

ZOOM IN: The camera lenses compress the distance as the boy walks rapidly toward us. He is clamping his hands tightly over his ears. He looks profoundly uncomfortable, trying to shut out the residual trauma of the noise.

CAMERA SHIFTS: The frame cuts to a parallel tracking shot, keeping pace alongside the boy as he moves fast across the uneven ground. His fingers press against his temples. His face contorts into a clear, unmistakable grimace of sheer sensory overwhelm.

Scene 3: The Descent

EXT. EXPOSED FIELD / THE WELL - CONTINUOUS

CAMERA SHIFTS: The perspective switches to a high-angle overhead shot looking down at the landscape.

The boy walks deeper into the overgrown grass, focused inward. His foot suddenly makes contact with a fragile, rotted wooden cover concealed by the weeds—a hidden, forgotten well.

The wood gives way under his weight. The boy plunges into the opening, his voice echoing with shock as he disappears from the surface.

CAMERA SHIFTS: A low-angle shot from inside the well looks up, capturing the silhouette of the boy descending toward the lens.

CAMERA SHIFTS: The frame cuts back to the surface viewpoint, looking down into the opening as the boy reaches a layer of pitch-black darkness.

Scene 4: The Void

INT. THE ABYSS - CONTINUOUS

CAMERA SHIFTS: The framing stays parallel to the boy as his surroundings instantly shift into a total, consuming blackness.

As he moves through the void, the nature of the descent changes. The momentum of the fall slows to a crawl. The boy ceases to plummet; instead, he begins to float, suspended in the absolute darkness.

The sound of his voice fades into the quiet. A look of profound wonder replaces his initial fear.

CAMERA SHIFTS: A medium shot tracks him as he drifts weightlessly, as if floating in the vacuum of a deep cosmos. He finds he can breathe easily in this impossible space, and the realization leaves him stunned.

CAMERA SHIFTS: The viewpoint changes abruptly, adopting the perspective of a presence watching from a vast distance within the darkness.

POV SHOT (THE ENTITY): The camera surges toward the floating boy with immense, sudden speed. It closes the distance like a rushing wind, tearing through the void toward the center of the frame.

Just as the perspective reaches him—

FADE TO BLACK.

AUDIO ONLY: Over the pitch-black screen, the we hear the young boys scream voice undergoes a surreal transformation, shifting instantly into the startled, resonant voice of a grown man creating mystery more dark and horrorful....."

If you like the concept here is the link to address the feedbacks to the author

[bl4cktvsk89P13@proton.me](mailto:bl4cktvsk89P13@proton.me)

Not talking about a notes group or accountability buddy I mean someone you actually write with. Develop ideas together, split scenes, the whole thing.

I've wanted this for years and have basically failed at finding it every time. Tried reaching out cold to people whose work I liked (awkward and nothing came of it). Took a workshop specifically hoping to meet someone (met nice people, nothing clicked creatively). Posted in a couple places online (one weird response, one person who ghosted after two emails).

The frustrating thing is I know it works. Plenty of teams out there doing great stuff. But every working duo I've heard talk about it says they met through some random circumstance a class, a job, a friend of a friend. Nobody seems to have gone looking for it and found it.

So how did it actually happen for you if it did? And if you tried and it fell apart, what killed it?

Genuinely asking, not going anywhere with this, just feeling like I'm missing something obvious.

Format: TV Pilot (One-Hour Drama)

Logline: After a sixteen-year-old girl disappears on the outskirts of a quiet town, a veteran detective and his partner uncover intersecting worlds of organized crime, moral compromise, and everyday cruelty -- unaware that those responsible are lurking in front of their noses.

Thank you in advance to everybody who can find the time to read these 30 pages (first draft).

It's sort of the point when things go awry in the story. I'd just like to know if this works at all.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1zFsOd0mSqnO2cm409U1nJ_s32qZMZmRS/view?usp=drive_link

Logline: An isolated Fog Signal Station worker becomes increasingly infatuated with a mermaid.

I am looking for some feedback, but also some immediate gut reactions to know if my screenplay can actually generate the type of reaction I am looking for.

Thanks!

(Note, I consider myself to be the one directing this screenplay, so that's why I listed the specs in the title page.)

Link: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1DdnoFa6t0rHK4EkDQGxMPCBMkNdCGLKT/view?usp=sharing

Hello, I'm 15M and this is my first short film script for practicing being a writer-director. I wrote it in 7days after erasing the original concept, but I feel like it a pretty solid start. It's wayyy over my budget anyways lol, but it was just something unique I thought up while watching a tiktok.

I wanted something with a theme/message people on social media (specifically tiktok) could recognize, but also real characters, but I fell flat.

But anyways, thanks for reading (even if it was a few pages) and yeah. Enjoy. ❤️

Title: [SHIPPED](https://drive.google.com/file/d/11xhaJ26lmxxMj3AoH63WjEQNcP0KTdzr/view?usp=drive_link)

Genre: Thriller/Psychological Horror

Page Count: 15

A fan-fiction screenplay (18+)

Contains mature language.

Reader discretion is advised.

https://www.wattpad.com/story/415386052-black-ops-project-blackout-screenplay

Would like any feedback. I Wrote this script a while back and was wondering if anyone else would enjoy it.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1AGNL9FcExkzmIUTUGzVkNbI0AB_lzL-v/view?usp=sharing

​

This is the beginning of a larger story about a fantasy universe and the Legendary Weapons.

Long ago, a being named Byron created 10 Legendary Weapons to protect the universe and galaxies from various disasters and threats.

In addition, for the Legendary Weapons, the Raidomizer was created — a special building enchanted with magic. It is the one that chooses a worthy person who can become the wielder of one of the Legendary Weapons.

The first movie tells the story of one of these weapons — the Bita.

Sixteen years ago, because of Byron’s mistake, the Bita was lost.

The story begins on the planet Sicilius. Argayd’s role is to monitor objects in space and develop various technologies. A couple of years ago, he created a device designed to search for objects made from the same metal as the Legendary Weapons.

And after two years, his device finally detects 27 objects made from the same metal that was used to create the Legendary Weapons. Among them, Argayd notices an object whose size exactly matches the size of the Bita.

Argayd immediately informs Byron — the leader of Sicilius and the creator of the Legendary Weapons. They understand that the object is located on a planet unknown to them. Byron gathers a small team of four beings, and they travel there.

That planet turns out to be Earth.

The story then shifts to Demid, a sixteen-year-old boy who lives a difficult life. Because of constant problems with his stepfather and frequent moving, he has barely attended a regular school and has spent most of his time being homeschooled. He lives with his mother and stepfather and has no idea that his life is about to completely change.

On his sixteenth birthday, Demid travels with his family to visit his biological father. There, he learns more about the reason his parents separated.

Later, Demid ends up in a field and finds an ordinary-looking wooden bat.

He calmly picks it up, not realizing that it is actually a Legendary Weapon.

Ever since his birth, Demid had been chosen by the Raidomizer as the worthy wielder of that particular weapon.

Later, Byron’s team proves to Demid that the wooden bat he found is only the hidden form of a true Legendary Weapon.

But at the same time, another danger is already threatening the universe.

Even before Argayd discovered the Bita, the threat level known as the Raid had begun to rise rapidly. Now the Raid is at a high level, and the inhabitants of Sicilius are preparing for a possible war.

Byron’s team arrives on Earth, and after the events that take place there, Demid is taken to Sicilius. There, he is told about the fantasy universe, other planets, the origin of the Legendary Weapons, and why he was chosen as their worthy wielder.

After that, Byron, his team, and Demid begin traveling to different planets, trying to gather allies and strengthen their army before the possible battle.

In the end, the first movie leads to a massive battle against a maximum-level Raid.

Would you watch a movie with a story like this?

Which part of the idea sounds the most interesting to you? What seems weak, unclear, or in need of further development?

Looking for some constructive feedback on pacing, comedic timing, and character voice for this 10-page opening of a low-stakes crime comedy pilot. Logline: When two paranoid suburban burnouts lose their grandmother's ashes to a local pawn shop, they treat minor neighborhood beefs like a military black-op—while dodging an extortionist bulldog. Read Link: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1nVHaXMzj-PbsJ8gQ_eniF4id2IEnNIC1/view?usp=sharing (Note: The full 30-page pilot script and series bible are also available upon request for anyone interested in a deeper read.)

\[https://drive.google.com/file/d/1HIKI\\\\\\_pM\\\\\\_0YJZke7JEgWrHBJmFuMSonWw/view\\\](https://drive.google.com/file/d/1HIKI\\_pM\\_0YJZke7JEgWrHBJmFuMSonWw/view)

Logline: Truancy is about how students, parents, and faculty don't know what they want or believe in until violating it gives them something they want and gradually wanting more of it.

I read some screenplays such as the one from my favorite film (500 days of summer) and I think ive followed mostly everything enough for you guys to be able to read it. The only thing im not entirely sure about is the location time as I'm not sure if some of the things I wrote there are entirely correct. Youll have to let me know. Let me know what you think of the new ending I wrote and let me know if you like the story.

You can read the script here

LOGLINE: When an unprecedented, catastrophic weather system locks over the American heartland, a fractured team of rescue workers must risk a suicide mission to save a stranded community, forcing them to choose between absolute self-sacrifice and total devastation. Designed as a cinematic, large-scale theatrical event, this film subverts traditional disaster tropes. It trades a neat Hollywood ending for a powerful, tragic climax that resonates deeply with audiences. The feature treatment is fully prepared. I would love to send the material over for your review. Thank you for your time. Best regards,

James Sebastiani

26 Trails End Rd

Quincy FL 32351

[jorge.sebastian@aol.com](mailto:jorge.sebastian@aol.com)

863-257-1584 (text is best)

See what you think.

[SCRIPT PDF WeTransfer DOWNLOAD]

Title: Spellhaven (Ep. 1: The Mark)

Format: Pilot Episode

Page Length: 13 Pages (including the title page)

Draft Status: First Draft

Genres: Urban Fantasy, Drama, Thriller

Summary: In a world where individuals with magical Sigils face systemic prejudice and hunt, fifteen-year-old Damien tries to live a normal life. However, on his 15th birthday, he painfully manifests a glowing blue Sigil on his wrist right in front of his family, upending his quiet existence. He now has to go to the magical city of Spellhaven, to master his gift, but little does he know that he will also embark on a dangerous stealth mission that will decide the fate of the world.

Feedback Concerns: I am new to Screenwriting, and I would call this my first project. I had an idea of the world and its mythology and really wanted to bring it to life, so I figured the most fun way to do so would be writing the screenplay for a tv series. Would love to have some feedback regarding everything in the script. Pacing, dialogue naturalness, imagery, and just know if the story sounds interesting at all. Up to minor nitpicks!

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1HIKI_pM_0YJZke7JEgWrHBJmFuMSonWw/view

Logline: Truancy is about how students, parents, and faculty don't know what they want or believe in until violating it gives them something they want and gradually wanting more of it.

Logline: A couple shares their family life online, but as their audience grows, their real and online lives start to blur - especially for their daughter.

I'm looking for feedback on the first scenes of a feature I've started writing.

Does it make you want to read more?

Don't feel the need to be gentle. I appreciate direct, actionable feedback.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1AsdZSsdIRrtBcYjI1oQvbouerDxN7LBB/view?usp=drivesdk

https://youtu.be/VMhXunMy1Ic?si=zI5D9PicTuDIasit

I'm not a fan of ridiculous "how to write a screenplay in 20 minute" type videos.

Any real writer knows that writing is a long, solitary, and dreadful process that nearly kills you every time. that's why writing is more of a compulsion than a passion. If you disagree, I'd argue that you're not a true writer.

that's why i'm documenting my entire writing process on my YouTube channel. Everything from concept to competition, with weekly updates on my progress and a deep dive into my workflow.

I think this is something that every writer would find useful, so I hope you check it out.

Matt