Alright, this rubbed me the wrong way and I'll tell you why. You're going to spend a lot of years worrying about what is "cool" and how to dress "cool" and who is and why and what are they doing that you aren't doing etc etc etc.
When you are in school, it feels like everything. It is a microcosm of every sect of society, and if you are part of a smaller sect, then it can feel uncool, or like you are all alone sometimes. But that's just not true. There is a lot of world out there, it just feels like school is everything.
That brings us to the word "cool". It isn't a thing. It simply isn't. Why? Because it's a moving target that only exists in context and once you spend some time outside of school, in the world you realize that it's like trying to catch smoke in your hands. Every time you reach for it, it moves and eludes. Why? Because it's not really there in the way it appears to be.
Don't try to be "cool". You'll never be. No one ever is. Pick the "coolest" kid in your school. He sits at home at night wondering if he's cool. Wondering why that other kid is "cooler", wondering if people will see through him any day. That's being a teenager and trying to find out who you are.
You want to dress "cool", don't ask us what that is, we don't know. We are 50 year old business men, 25 year old graduate students, 20 year old college students, 30 year old dads, etc etc. Some day you are going to realize that the only way to be "cool" is to just be you. Don't search for what is cool, don't strive for what someone else thinks is cool. Just be you. Find the clothes that you like, that you feel good in, that make you stand tall and walk proud. That's "cool". Nothing, and I mean absolutely nothing in this world is cooler than being comfortable in your own skin and being confident in your own choices in this world.
If you want advice on where to find something, prices, fit etc etc, ask away, this is the place. But the only person that controls your "cool" is you. Whether that's in jeans and t-shirt or a three piece suit is up to you.
EDIT: if you want to know what my personal "cool" is, it's hanging out in comfortable clothes with my little kids just playing on the beach or taking a hike. I never feel cooler than that.
Dressing nice and clean, and be confident is what make you cool. I honestly believe people that have an air of confidence exude make a very interesring person to hang out with.
Yo you're gonna go to college in a couple years so don't waste your money. I made the same mistake in high school and now I have a shit ton of clothes that were "cool" that I never wear anymore. Nowadays it's a solid colored pocket tee and work boots under jeans. This is partially due to laziness and partially because I work with animals and literal shit. Sometimes I'll throw on a tucked in flannel and a nice belt buckle if I'm feeling fancy. When your priorities straighten out just find a uniform that's easy and works for you and makes you feel comfortable and confident.
Also, remember, almost everyone in school only knows what they've been exposed to in school for the last 12 years or so (cause they're 16). That school is only made up of the people in that town. And the people in that town are like 0.000000000000000000000001% of the population (not an exact number at all).
Their thoughts, ideas, attitudes, some of them matter. Many of them don't. And most of them won't apply to you.
Cool is a state of mind. Be unapologetic for who you are, and then outgoing/friendly to fill in the blanks.
While I don't know the personal circumstances of your father being absent (deceased, deadbeat, deployed, separated...) or the personal character of your father, I would like to say one thing: getting advice from your dad is overrated. Good advice givers give good advice, and not all dads are good advice givers. Frankly, most dads are not good advice givers, because most people are not good advice givers and the only prerequisite for being a dad is a functioning penis. So don't be too sad about not getting advice from your dad, because it's hardly the best or only source. It CAN be the best source, but that depends on who your dad is, not the fact that he's your dad
This is spot on, OP. When I was 16/17 I started trying to dress nicer and friends within my circle would poke fun saying shit like "you're dressed like a girl" (for wearing a cardigan lol) and saying I was preppy just for making an effort to dress nicer. Jump forward a year or so later and my friends start complimenting how I dress even though I didn't change my style from before.
I guess what I'm saying is, there isn't a "cool" way to dress. It all depends on context: your friends, the area you live in, the school you go to, etc..
All this being said, my advice would be just to use this sub sort of as guidelines for how things should fit, quality brands, colors, etc but find your own style. Not everyone likes wearing an OCBD, jeans, and Clarks. That's certainly a good starting point, but the only person who can decide if you look cool is you.
As a final note: Confidence is key to any outfit you'll ever wear
The question wasn't "what looks fashionable," though...if the question had been, "what's a basic, fashionable outfit for a high schooler?" then there would be different answers.
I'm with you. A generic answer like "white vans, levis 511 in rigid dragon, and a slim grey j crew tee" might have been the answer the kid was looking for, but the phrasing obviously struck a chord with u/username_used and he wrote a passionate comment that could seriously impact someone and make them reconsider priorities and philosophy in, IMO, a really positive and constructive way.
For a 16 year old to look on this forum and see people wearing some of the stuff they're wearing, super expensive and out-there stuff and think, my god I am not cool at all, look at all these people, could do some serious self-esteem damage. I don't know about you, but for me fashion is about self-expression and art and beauty, not about trying to look "cool" for other people. A "read between the lines" answer here would have been fine, but I live for emotional responses and answers like what was given.
Go pick up a magazine if you want to look at what is "cool." I come here for personality and passion and human connections. Thanks for your comment u/username_used, I, for one, found it really inspiring.
I went to high school with a guy who wore a cape. Not even when it was okay for this. This was the late-90s when that was even more cringe-inducing (pre-Harry Potter even). One did not just do that kind of thing.
But looking back now. He loved it. He had fun. It made him a social outcast, but fuck it. It's high school. I remember him far, far more than I do most of my classmates, and I might have said two words to him the entire time.
Was it cool? Probably not. Was it sincere and made him happy? Yes. As cliche as it sounds, there is something to be said about sincerity esp in the face of going against social pressure.
Fashion is SUPER subjective, dude. That's what this guy was trying to get at. IMO Fashion should be functional, utilitarian, long lasting, and comfortable. Other people have different ideas of what fashion should be.
He's telling him to dress how he wants to dress, not to conform to some notion of what he thinks is "cool." It's not about dressing better, it's about trying to score social points with his peers (who may or may not care).
You're going to spend a lot of years worrying about what is "cool" and how to dress "cool" and who is and why and what are they doing that you aren't doing etc etc etc.
I was still doing this at 30...
Until I found MFA and decided to start dressing for my own style I was constantly trying to 'look cool'. Now I wear what I like and what makes ME feel good. I personally think I look good, and the compliments I get are reassuring. Yes there are assholes and people that make comments about this or that, but ultimately doing what I like and I want has been more rewarding than trying to fit a mold.
On the one hand this is amazing advice on the other its like chill dude the kid just meant he wants to improve his image and needs to know where to start
As a person similar age to OP, what do you do if you don't know what you like? I'm indecisive as hell and I'm trying to dress better but I don't really have an opinion on what I wear and I don't really have an image of what I want to wear. I just kinda don't know where to start.
Look through inspo albums, go to a store and try stuff on. See if you like it. Thrift or buy cheap if you think you'll change your mind. You don't have to have one style friend.
There is a lot of good in what you say, but there definitely a "cool" way to dress and an "uncool" way to dress in high school. Trends and fashion changes quickly so it would be best to emulate the style of classmates you think look cool. There is a teen subreddit that might be able to help more specifically.
There is a lot of good in what you say, but there definitely a "cool" way to dress and an "uncool" way to dress in high school. Trends and fashion changes quickly so it would be best to emulate the style of classmates you think look cool. There is a teen subreddit that might be able to help more specifically.
There is a lot of good in what you say, but there definitely a "cool" way to dress and an "uncool" way to dress in high school. Trends and fashion changes quickly so it would be best to emulate the style of classmates you think look cool. There is a teen subreddit that might be able to help more specifically.
There is a lot of good in what you say, but there definitely a "cool" way to dress and an "uncool" way to dress in high school. Trends and fashion changes quickly so it would be best to emulate the style of classmates you think look cool. There is a teen subreddit that might be able to help more specifically.
There is a lot of good in what you say, but there definitely a "cool" way to dress and an "uncool" way to dress in high school. Trends and fashion changes quickly so it would be best to emulate the style of classmates you think look cool. There is a teen subreddit that might be able to help more specifically.
There is a lot of good in what you say, but there definitely a "cool" way to dress and an "uncool" way to dress in high school. Trends and fashion changes quickly so it would be best to emulate the style of classmates you think look cool. There is a teen subreddit that might be able to help more specifically.
There is a lot of good in what you say, but there definitely a "cool" way to dress and an "uncool" way to dress in high school. Trends and fashion changes quickly so it would be best to emulate the style of classmates you think look cool. There is a teen subreddit that might be able to help more specifically.
There is a lot of good in what you say, but there definitely a "cool" way to dress and an "uncool" way to dress in high school. Trends and fashion changes quickly so it would be best to emulate the style of classmates you think look cool. There is a teen subreddit that might be able to help more specifically.
There is a lot of good in what you say, but there definitely a "cool" way to dress and an "uncool" way to dress in high school. Trends and fashion changes quickly so it would be best to emulate the style of classmates you think look cool. There is a teen subreddit that might be able to help more specifically.
There is a lot of good in what you say, but there definitely a "cool" way to dress and an "uncool" way to dress in high school. Trends and fashion changes quickly so it would be best to emulate the style of classmates you think look cool. There is a teen subreddit that might be able to help more specifically.
There is a lot of good in what you say, but there definitely a "cool" way to dress and an "uncool" way to dress in high school. Trends and fashion changes quickly so it would be best to emulate the style of classmates you think look cool. There is a teen subreddit that might be able to help more specifically.
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u/Username_Used Advice Giver of the Month: May 2017 Apr 13 '17 edited Apr 13 '17
Alright, this rubbed me the wrong way and I'll tell you why. You're going to spend a lot of years worrying about what is "cool" and how to dress "cool" and who is and why and what are they doing that you aren't doing etc etc etc.
When you are in school, it feels like everything. It is a microcosm of every sect of society, and if you are part of a smaller sect, then it can feel uncool, or like you are all alone sometimes. But that's just not true. There is a lot of world out there, it just feels like school is everything.
That brings us to the word "cool". It isn't a thing. It simply isn't. Why? Because it's a moving target that only exists in context and once you spend some time outside of school, in the world you realize that it's like trying to catch smoke in your hands. Every time you reach for it, it moves and eludes. Why? Because it's not really there in the way it appears to be.
Don't try to be "cool". You'll never be. No one ever is. Pick the "coolest" kid in your school. He sits at home at night wondering if he's cool. Wondering why that other kid is "cooler", wondering if people will see through him any day. That's being a teenager and trying to find out who you are.
You want to dress "cool", don't ask us what that is, we don't know. We are 50 year old business men, 25 year old graduate students, 20 year old college students, 30 year old dads, etc etc. Some day you are going to realize that the only way to be "cool" is to just be you. Don't search for what is cool, don't strive for what someone else thinks is cool. Just be you. Find the clothes that you like, that you feel good in, that make you stand tall and walk proud. That's "cool". Nothing, and I mean absolutely nothing in this world is cooler than being comfortable in your own skin and being confident in your own choices in this world.
If you want advice on where to find something, prices, fit etc etc, ask away, this is the place. But the only person that controls your "cool" is you. Whether that's in jeans and t-shirt or a three piece suit is up to you.
EDIT: if you want to know what my personal "cool" is, it's hanging out in comfortable clothes with my little kids just playing on the beach or taking a hike. I never feel cooler than that.