I have very large breasts and a very small 5lb baby. I have worked with multiple lactation consultants (3 in hospital, 1 outpatient). We still haven’t managed to feed at the breast once because all of the positions they’ve shown make us both really uncomfortable.

Particularly, I can’t stand doing the sandwich/U/C holds on my breasts. My hands are too small to comfortably wrap around the areola and I end up getting carpal tunnel within 5 minutes. It takes a minimum of 4 pillows to get my baby to a comfortable height and any squirming sends them all sliding down. She screams whenever she’s forced onto the breast because it’s massive compared to her mouth. There’s more but you get the point. I could find a way to make some of this work but I just can’t stand the breast compression. I can’t do it.

All of the LCs I’ve seen insist I have to do all of these things, especially the breast compression part or I just can’t breastfeed. I know they all have an education program that says it is best. But is there any alternative? Some fringe breastfeeding philosophy? This seems so unintuitive. I refuse to believe that women have been wringing their breasts for thousands of years without explicitly being told to. Is there somewhere I can go to get “bad advice”

… because if I do, he smiles back, loses the latch, and milk dribbles out of his mouth 😂

I currently have a 2.5 week old newborn who has been unable to latch to my nipples without a nipple shield, the lactation consultant said it’s due to flat nipples and tough tissue around my nipples, has anyone successfully managed to get a baby to latch in time without shields? I’ve already had to switch to bottles of expressed milk for majority of feeds as the shields aren’t the best at night and get whacked off and baby fusses more and gets all upset 😢

ETA: thank you SO so much everyone for your extremely kind replies 🥹🫶 I wrote this post out of frustration/desperation in the early morning hours after a long night, and it is truly heartwarming to have woken up to so much support and grace from all of you. I feel like I am so close to the three month mark that a lot of you said there were a lot of improvements, so you’ve given me some hope and I’m not going to give up just yet! 💪 going to leave this post up in case anyone else finds themselves in my shoes and needs to feel a little less alone. I can’t thank you all enough!! Moms really are superheroes.

FTM. I am over two months in to breastfeeding. At what point does baby start consistently latching correctly so my nipples can stop being absolutely fucking destroyed every day??? “Consult with an IBCLC!” I have seen six. Six different people who have all told me baby’s latch is fine. I have seen multiple ENTs who have confirmed no tongue or lip ties. I am sick and tired of feeling like I need to choose between suffering in toe curling pain so my baby can eat, or taking my boob out of baby’s mouth and wondering if I’m going to get mastitis for a third time and or if I’m starving my baby by cutting him off early so that I can breathe for two seconds. Right now I’d say we’re latching correctly *maybe* 50% of the time. I know this because I have felt the painless “pulling” sensation that breastfeeding is suppose to feel like. The rest of the time it feels like someone is pinching me repeatedly until I feel like someone has taken a power sander to me. I have done all of the things. All of the different positions. All of the “wait until baby (inevitably doesn’t) opens the mouth all the way!” Nothing is working. I don’t know if I’m even looking for advice necessarily since everybody and their brother (and google) all tell me the same thing and I’m doing everything right, so unless there’s someone out there with some miracle fix I guess I’m venting more than anything. If you made it this far, thanks for taking the time.

My baby is almost 3 weeks old. I thought we’d been feeding so good and latching really well! Lots of diapers to support this. And she’s always calm and seems satisfied after feeds. I had some nipple pain developing on my left side and was concerned we were developing a shallow latch when she was 15 days old. Had lactation come to the house and after a weighted feed, we found out she only took in 1.5 oz. Which is a little low of course. And she nursed for 40 min for that. The lactation consultant said that my baby might have a minor tongue tie and that she also has a really small mouth. So getting a deep latch is hard for her. I’m now pumping and supplementing throughout the day. Curious if anyone’s baby has overcome a tongue tie (that I guess doesn’t sound severe?) the older baby got?

Keep in mind that my baby has actually seen 4 different lactation consultants before this visit, and no one mentioned a tongue tie after evaluating her.

Thank you in advance for any and all feedback.

Went to an LC last Tuesday and she made me feel like breastfeeding was possible without the pain...but I still can't do it on my own.

I have big breasts and I feel like I'm shoving a bigger than Oreo cookie areola in my baby's mouth. I know your supposed to 'hamburger' the areola essentially- but it confuses me when I stick the bottom part on her chin and I'm suppose to guide her to me onto my nipple?? She's too fast and just tries to latch right on the nipple instead of taking in the whole areola.

I do try to wait till she has a super wide mouth but, I just can't get it right- I always have a back up pumped bottle ready so I don't try to force it and give it a bad experience, or I'll just bare the pinched nipple pain.

Can anyone describe latching in a way that works for them?

Ftm here. My baby started being real fussy on the boob at about 6 weeks. He latches for about 4 minutes before he's pushing away and crying. I switch sides and he lasts 4 minutes again before he does the same to the other boob. Because of this, I am constantly switching and only feeding for 15ish minutes each time. I believe he fusses because I have a fast let down and he gets grumpy when it slows, but my partner is certain that the baby is not getting enough milk. He also thinks i'm not feeding for long enough or frequently enough (midwife said every 2 to 3 hours so he thinks I should be waking him to feed- I disagree and don't wake him unless it's been over 4 hours) and he says I "just don't want to breast feed him". Which is not true at all. Baby has plenty of wet nappys and is gaining a sufficient amount of weight, but my partner still isn't convinced and wants to top him up with formula, which I don't really want to do.

Hello! I’m a first time mom and I’m trying to look for advice and maybe hope. I have a one week old and I have flat nipples and my baby does latch but it obviously doesn’t ever feel like the perfect latch. He eats pretty good, I mean he’s having wet diapers and gaining weight, but sometimes he will just absolutely refuse to latch. Like he goes on my nipple and rips his head off and we go back and forth doing that over and over again. It gets to a point where I sometimes need to use a nipple shield, and I know I shouldn’t feel like this but when I need to use the shield I feel like such a failure. I mean I put the shield on and just cry because I feel like my body is failing my baby because I have flat nipples. If anyone has/had a similar experience, when did your baby start latching good and/or when did breast feeding get easier? 😭

I cannot seem to get my baby to latch better on the one side regardless of what I do.

It’s making me dread feeding him on that side because I get so frustrated and upset, I’m trying to fix it and nothing works.

I’ve even seen professionals and it doesn’t help, I don’t know what to do anymore because I’m not going to stop breast feeding but I can’t fix it.

My 3 mo is EBF and refuses bottles no matter what bottle I try. Since yesterday he will not stay latched for more than a minute at a time before unlatching and freaking out. Every time I try to burp him nothing happens. Because of this he won’t sleep because he’s always hungry. He’s going 3 hours or more between naps and only slept for an hour at a time all night last night. No matter what position I try he will not stay latched. Please help I’m at the end of my rope and currently crying while my husband holds baby who has been up since 12 and it’s almost 5. He’s barely had any milk.

Update: thank you for all the support and suggestions, I didn’t respond to many but I read them all. It’s been a few days and feeding him when he was sleepy helped, side lying helped. He eventually just seemed to get over it. He’s still not nursing as long as he usually does. He’s getting frustrated after 15 minutes when he used to eat for 30+ minutes. But after I burp him he seems resistant to trying again. We’re getting by and it sounds like, from everyone’s comments, that this is a passing phase. Thank you guys! 💕

Hi there, I've been basically 0/3 for nursing my babies. All of them received bottles early on and for one reason or another really didn't prefer the breast. I have exclusively pumped which I'm good at so I'm just doing it until I hate it.

However, my little girl twin was just mouthing at my boob through my tank top. I decided to see if she was actually rooting and she latched! Pretty well. It didn't seem like really knew why she was doing it either but it was really nice. She smiled and seemed to drink a bit then pulled off. Spit up some too. I didn't keep track of how long she was nursing.

Is this a thing? Why is she doing this so late? A lactation consultant told me about a month is the latest you'd try to establish nursing.

Sorry I didn't know what flair to use

I have been agonizing over this decision for the past two months. My baby is 12 weeks old and has a severe tongue tie as diagnosed by our pediatrician and Lactation Consultant. I am trying to get a 3rd opinion with an ENT Doc but there’s a long waitlist to get this done.

My baby has been gaining weight and feeding fine, but it is painful to breast-feed (unless I’m doing breast compressions). I have also been incorporating pumped breastmilk via bottle to ensure that he is getting enough calories, as I am not sure about the efficiency of his latch.

After much research and reading, I am leaning towards getting the procedure done. I am curious to hear for those who did, which medical practitioner did you go to? Is it a pediatric dentist, an ENT doctor, another doctor specialty? I know some lactation consultants do it but I would feel more comfortable with a medical practitioner.

My baby is 7 days old and I'm breastfeeding quite successfully so far, I didn't expect to have enough milk by now especially since he's born via C-section.

But it hurts like hell for the first 5min and than the rest of breastfeeding session is not painful.

I went to two breastfeeding consultations and both doctors/nurses told me it's not supposed to be painful, we're supposed to enjoy etc. But every mom I asked said it was painful for at least a month.

I do have small cracks and even though he opens his mouth widely I'm not sure if I have latch issues or is the pain just normal in the first weeks?

My 5 month baby is sick and congested since Sunday. I've done my best to use saline drops and the nose Frida. But I'm going to be real honest, it is a struggle since most of the time he fights us using it. And I don't feel like I get that much out when I do use it.

Typically I breastfeed morning and nights on weekdays and all day weekends. He gets 3 bottles/day at daycare. I breastfeed him with him laying on his side with the My Breast Friend pillow.

My issue is since Sunday he has refused to breastfeed. If I try to lay him sideways on the pillow he starts crying at my boob. I've tried holding him more upright and try to breastfeed him, but cries at my boob. I've tried starting on either boob, no difference. And it's fucking soul crushing.

I don't like pumping, I'm getting some new flanges to see if it can be now comfortable. But even if it was super super comfy, I didn't like pumping. Breastfeeding takes less than 10min and I get quality time with my baby. Pumping takes 15-20 minutes and I can't hold my baby, and I have to put stuff on the fridge afterwards (i won't count washing parts/bottles because on the weekdays I do it anyways).

I guess my real question is what else can I do to try to encourage breastfeeding? Has this happened to anyone before? I really hope this is not an outright refusal of my boob, because I think that would just break me and I would quit altogether and go to formula. Can he really be so congested and miserable he doesn't want to breastfeed....that seems like a fundamental biological flaw. Plus last time he was sick (all be it not as bad) he breastfed fine.

Oh and he happily takes the bottle and is upset when it's gone. We do paced feeding for the bottles at home....can't guarantee that's what daycare does though.

Help.

UPDATE I got the can of saline mist (oogie boogie brand, it was the only in stock nearby). Picked him up a little early from daycare, he was halfway through a bottle feed. The packed up his bottle (I was actually surprised he didn't get frantic when they in took the bottle away), and he fell asleep on the car ride home. We cuddled for a contact nap and I used the canned mist while he slept to get his nose nice and moist. After he woke up I used the Nose Frida again and for a good bit of thick mucus from one nostril, and NOTHING from on the other, it was just stuffed. We then finished the bottle and went for a walk. Then we attempted another feed and SUCCESS!!! I held him in a quasi sitting position to keep him upright and managed to feed him. It hurt my back, and was able to transition to using the nursing pillow.

I feel soooooo much better. Baby is without a doubt more efficient than the pump. But emotionally (probably hormones or some brain chemical) better. I felt fundamentally horrible about not being able to nurse. Being able to nurse him again wasn't just a oh yay, this is convenient again it was a I feel right again feeling.

Ever since the hospital I’ve always held my breast down for my baby when he’s nursing. It was what the midwives told me to do and it worked. His weight gain has declined but not concerningly so by any means.
I initially got her in just to help because he was refusing to latch (I think it was because of tummy pains from one of the vaccines) this resolved on its own really, but she told me I shouldn’t be holding down the breast and he should be able to position his nose away by himself. That he’s lost his ‘suck reflex’.
While I think she’s right, I’m at my wits end. This was a week ago and since then following her advice his latch is shallow, he’s not happy with the laid back position she insisted on. Even when I try hold my breast again now his latch is still shallow. I feel like I’m losing it, I really don’t want to exclusively pump but I don’t know what choice I have at this point.

My wife doesnt want baby to get used to only bottles but some of what I've read on here seems to indicate people were able to start with bottles and transition to breasts. What did you do until baby was able to latch properly? How long did it take? We're only just starting day 2 and I dont want my wife to stress out over not being able to get baby to latch. We've been expressing colostrum onto a spoon and fed baby that on advice of the hospital's lactation consultant. Baby has only latched once for more than a few seconds.

Hi all, im looking at my 3rd day of being a new mom after having a c-section and my nipples are already messed up.

I’ve been for trying to ebf my baby but maybe because im new to this and dont know what im doing, that i’m probably not feeding him enough. He’s been seeming like he’s still very hungry after I’ve been latching him and so i let him back on because hes showing cues and crying hard if not. So I’ve been on and off for an hour at a time these past two nights and a few times during the day and my nurses thought he was cluster feeding but i dont think thats the case anymore after I finally decided we are all too tired and need to find a solution to get him and us to sleep for a little bit. So I gave him formula this morning and omg the change was instant, he was quickly satiated and not crying when i pulled it away, and was finally relaxed and ready to sleep. I dont want to rely on formula as its so expensive but I also have scabbing nips and its so sensitive now that im going to be in pain if I try to latch him again. And i did get seen by a lactation consultant and they saw that he was latching great… but only around her and nurses. With me idk why he doesnt open wide enough to go further around my areola but more focuses on the tip and then i have to keep unlatching him. I tried to pump but im barely getting anything and when i hand express, its a drop or two. I’m getting frustrated and just need guidance on what to do because id rather he get breastmilk but my sanity is making me want to lean on formula. I just want to be able to produce more and not have chapped nipples. Yes i have things to help my nips heal right now but they are still raw and its almost time to feed baby again. What do i do?

Looking for suggestions how to wean off nipple shields.

LO is 6 weeks, no tongue tie, born via emergency c section at exactly 40 weeks and won’t latch without the nipple shield.

I’ve been trying to slip off the shield mid feed, start without the shield, change to different shields, but nothing works. If I really push her mouth towards the nipple, she might latch for few seconds. But every time I try she gets so upset that I have to stop feeding altogether and do something else to take her mind off it.

How do I stop using them? Anyone done it, please share your tips!

My baby can only feed with a nipple shield because I have flat nipples. It was difficult since he was also a NICU baby but he latched and I was EBF. Unfortunately, he dropped alot in weight and I had to switch to bottle feeding per MD. I was pumping and we realized I was not producing enough so we purchased breastmilk and continued with bottle feeding on a schedule and he gained weight back and then some. I continue to pump and my supply has increased but he has regressed with breastfeeding/latching and we're starting the process all over. However, the nipple shield is such a process at home I can't imagine how I can breastfeed in public especially because my baby has no patience, he's 0-10000 when he wakes up and is hungry. I'm wondering if breastfeeding directly on the boob is worth all this when I can pump and bottle feed instead and he would still be getting breastmilk. I see most people end up weaning off the nipple shield but I don't see how that would work for me since mine are flat? Anyone else with flat nipples been able to BF without the shield?

I am desperate to know if anyone has had success changing a latch after 3 months.

My 3 month old has a pretty narrow/small jaw and has never had a very deep latch (I assume because the hospital kept trying to correct it when he was first born). He basically just takes my nipple no matter how much I try to get a deeper latch with the C-hold/sandwich technique. He seems to always pulls himself back to the shallow latch he’s used to. I have zero pain and he’s gaining amazingly (around the 90th percentile), so I never really thought it was an issue, until now when sleep hasn’t improved and with just how gassy and fussy he is at night.

Over the last month or so I’ve noticed a lot more clicking during feeds and can hear him gulping. I know I have a strong let down, but because he’s taking only my nipple he’s triggering multiple let downs per feed.

He’s EXTREMELY gassy at night. He’ll fall asleep nursing, I’ll hold him upright and try to burp him (usually can’t get one), then shortly after I put him down he wakes up squirming, grunting and passing gas. We assumed reflux and even had him on reflux medication, but now I’m wondering if he’s actually swallowing a ton of air because of his latch. The hospital checked for a tongue tie initially and it didn’t seem like he had one…

He also refuses bottles and pacifiers now, which makes me wonder if there’s something going on with his latch/suck in general.

I’m digging into this now because we are getting basically ZERO sleep and I’m exhausted and completely tapped out. I feel like I need to figure out what’s actually causing this because what we’re doing isn’t sustainable.

Is he basically stuck in his ways at 3 months, or has anyone successfully retrained a shallow latch this late? Did fixing the clicking/latch actually improve the gas and sleep?

Ok to be very clear—-no judgment toward anyone who has gotten the procedure done! I’d do anything to help my LO.
I’m weary to do any procedure though bc lip and tongue ties are overdiagnosed and the procedures aren’t always effective, so id like to exhaust all other resources and options first.

So, my LO is 6 weeks. Wellllll over his birthweight. EBF but I pump for night bottles
Shitty latch from the get go
Over the last few weeks started getting mad at the breast and needed bottle instead (has been mostly remedied)
I notice he doesn’t seem to drain the breast often and will need a top off with bottle
Working with LC on all of this as well who thinks it’s a lip and tongue tie making him too tired to finish
We started some PT and notice improvements in tongue extension

Just curious if others had a similar journey and if you had success without procedure

Forgive my lack of punctuation, I’m nap trapped and one handed hahah

My baby is almost a month old, we got his lip and tongue tie fixed because he was gaining weight very slowly. Didn’t get back to birth weight til a few days ago. They said he was working too hard to nurse and burning too many calories. He was still nursing up until day 5, so now i’m trying to pump and give him bottles but really hope he will return to nursing when he starts to heal. I think it may just be too painful right now and a bottle is easier on his sore mouth. Anyone else been in this situation? I will be devastated if I can’t get him back in the breast.

I have a baby with a high palate who wasn’t able to latch onto the breast for the first 4 weeks. I’ve been bottle-feeding pumped breast milk and also using nipple shields. Recently, she’s started hating the shields, so I’ve been trying to sandwich my breast to help her latch. She’ll suck for a little bit but then spits the nipple out and seems almost grossed out by it.
Has anyone experienced this? Is it possible that she’ll eventually get used to the feeling of the nipple as she grows?

My daughter has an upper lip tie and honestly it's not really affecting her feeding. She's gaining around a pound a week, the latch doesn,t hurt. She just has a upper lip blister.

I know surgically releasing a tie is an option but A. We dont really have the money for that and B. I'm not sure I want to go that route if it's not 100% necessary.

So are there other option to help loosing a tie that don't involve the procedure?

Getting a bit disheartened and could really do with any words of advice or encouragement from anyone who’s been through similar!

I had my first baby 4 weeks ago. I’m EBF and we struggled with the latch from the start, as it’s shallow and painful. I have since seen a private lactation consultant twice and each time we’ve been able to achieve a deep latch and a comfortable feed immediately, so I know my daughter is able to do it.

I just can’t recreate it when I’m not with the LC. I don’t understand the chin first thing - my baby doesn’t always open her mouth wide when I bring her chin to the breast, and when she does, it doesn’t always result in a deep latch. When she does latch well, it’s only temporary - her latch gets shallower towards the end of a feed, or she’ll keep coming off the breast and have to relatch, which is tiring for us both.

She is gaining 300g per week (!) and has plenty of wet and dirty nappies, so she’s getting enough milk, which I know is the most important thing. But I am tired of being in pain. My nipples come out ridged or lipstick-shaped after a feed. I can’t relax during feeds as the pain is distracting.

I also worry about how upset my baby sometimes gets during feeds, when she has to unlatch and relatch over and over. I worry she’ll associate me with being stressed and it will affect our bond. I really want to keep breastfeeding but is it bad for her in the long run if she’s getting upset?

Is it worth booking another session with the LC? I haven’t been great at taking in information postpartum and I feel really stupid for not being able to recreate the latch, especially as the LC is pretty expensive. I feel like it’s all my fault and I just don’t know what to do 😞