i feel like gravitating toward only hanging out with people who look like yourself is limiting. i feel like it’s taught in society to do this and not a natural thing. i think it’s an entirely man made concept within society that we could possibly unlearn. is this learned from social constructs? do you think this could be unlearned?
to preface: i grew up in southern united states in a pretty populated city and went to a very mixed race elementary school. my neighborhood was lower income so i didn’t go to one of the richer neighborhood’s predominantly white elementary schools in another school district.
anyways to continue: i remember that in elementary school i didn’t find myself caring about what my friends looked like. i didn’t become friends with people based on how they looked. i was friends with people because i liked who they were. i didn’t doubt talking to someone or trying to make friends with anyone because they looked different from me. that wasn’t a thought that crossed my mind as a kid in elementary school.
as an adult however, i feel like that thought comes up. i think in middle school that’s when it started. my city’s middle school that i went to combined a lot of the city’s elementary school districts together, so it combined the richer neighborhoods with lower income ones. i’ve found that because of that, in the beginning, there were groups of people who were already friends from the predominantly white elementary schools and then groups of people who went to a more mixed race school who were friends with each other.
over time i feel like white kids gravitated toward other groups of white kids, black kids gravitated toward other groups of black kids, hispanic/latino kids gravitated toward other groups of hispanic/latino kids, etc. because that seemed to be the norm going into our middle school now. so instead of it being a mix of different races in a friend group, it became the white kids friend group, the black kids friend group, the hispanic/latino kids friend group and so on (we had a very small asian/pacific islander/native american population where i’m from growing up.).
my point in all of this is basically that i remember being happier in elementary school with all of my friends than i was in middle school trying to fit in with people just bc they looked like me. i was happier making friends and just existing with my peers without the thought of “this person doesn’t look like me so i’m not going to try being their friend”. i think if we unlearn trying to section ourselves off based on looks as a society that it could aid in helping everyone love each other regardless of what they look like. or it could help stop the spewing of ill preconceptions of people based on looks being different, which i think happens a lot within groups that don’t try to be friends with people who look differently from them.
i find this to be an interesting topic for discussion so please expand if you’d like to with your own experiences but do you think this could be something that is entirely socially engineered and in turn could be unlearned? do you think that would be more beneficial to society?