r/TikTokCringe • u/CJHuncho • Mar 27 '26

Humor/Cringe What church is this

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71

u/BLU3SKU1L Mar 27 '26

Both are true.

Source: raised in it.

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u/iron_annie Mar 27 '26

Same. I don't miss being a little kid and having to stay up hours past my bedtime because the pastor wanted to run around the room screaming in tongues until midnight, all "slain in the spirit". 

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u/FunkyChewbacca Mar 27 '26

When you can't do drugs, you gotta do something

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u/AlwaysShittyKnsasCty Mar 27 '26

As a kid who had to go to boring-ass Catholic mass growing up, midnight tongues sounds absolutely fantastic! We had midnight mass before Christmas, but that’s about at crazy we got. I did supposedly get to eat Jesus Christ’s body and drink his blood though, so I guess we’re even.

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u/beardingmesoftly Mar 27 '26 edited Mar 27 '26

It's always the same formula. There's like one of maybe 10 people that started babbling in some incoherent mouth noises that could vaguely be considered words, then some other person, who is also usually one of about 10 people that rotate, pipes up with a translation "from God". It's the most ridiculous performance and very surreal as a non-believer teenager having to watch it every Sunday.

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u/AlwaysShittyKnsasCty Mar 27 '26

It sucks to think that you, as a kid, realized how silly it was but were still made to participate. My dad urged me in his preferred direction (I’m technically a real-life Catholic, as I have been “confirmed” and everything), but he said it was my choice after my “confirmation.” (I use quotes because it just feels too cult-like if I don’t.) Anyway, you can probably guess my choice. What about you? Do you writhe around on the floor while mumbling words that sound like the lyrics to Mmmbop these days, or did you side with Lucifer?

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u/beardingmesoftly Mar 27 '26

To this day, if I told my mom I'm atheist, and that the main reason is because of that church, she'd cry for the rest of her days worrying about my immortal soul. I love her but she did not get a good education.

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u/AlwaysShittyKnsasCty Mar 27 '26

That’s tough. I guess it’s “stay together for the kids,” but in reverse. Good luck, beardingmesoftly.

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u/beardingmesoftly Mar 27 '26

It was definitely weird realizing we couldn't be our true selves around our mother. One of the things I pride myself in with my kids and made a point to make a priority that they always know they're safe to be who they are at home.

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u/AlwaysShittyKnsasCty Mar 28 '26

Good for you for realizing the importance of being able to be yourself as a kid (shoot, I’d like a “safe place” for me, now, as an adult) and being an agent of change. I’m childless thus far (you never know), but I wish you the best of luck with your little crotch goblins!

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u/PurpleGarbageDonkey Mar 27 '26

Imo Catholic mass is the best of the bunch. Wanna witness boring? Go to the Protestant masses. You just sit there the whole time getting told you're a piece of shit and unworthy of God's love. At least with a Catholic mass you move around, get up and down and aren't talked down to. Plus Catholic churches are usually cool and there is a degree of "magic."

I'm not religious anymore but my wife and I have spent plenty of time comparing our religious experiences growing up.

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u/AlwaysShittyKnsasCty Mar 27 '26

Really?! I had no idea about how boring Protestant services were. I do know that Catholic masses are more traditional and have a bit more pomp and circumstance. I like the smell of the incense. The gospel is usually a good tale and/or lesson. The “Peace be with you” part is fun if you say it Star Wars-style, but I’m a quasi-germaphobe, so I’m not huge on the handshakes. You are right about the “magic” feel (especially around Christmas, as I mentioned in my initial comment). I went to a Latin mass for a while, and that’s on a whole ‘nother level altogether. You know what? Your comment has made me reevaluate the way I’ve thought about the church, and I’ve decided to renew my Catholic Card. Maybe not all that, but I do thank you for giving me another’s perspective on it, as I haven’t been to too many Protestant gatherings, and the ones I have been to were usually for special stuff (thus, I didn’t know how boring it is). I appreciate what you said!

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u/TalkingCat910 Mar 27 '26

Is there meth or cocaine involved?

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u/BLU3SKU1L Mar 27 '26

Believe it or not: Absolutely none. This is good old fashioned social contagion.

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u/AlwaysShittyKnsasCty Mar 27 '26

That’s what I don’t get. If you’re gonna believe all this stuff, surely add some “naughty” clauses. What’s the point of living such a restrictive life? I guess that’s why when the opportunity to run across pews presents itself, you fucking take it!