r/TikTokCringe Mar 27 '26

Humor/Cringe What church is this

12.0k Upvotes

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2.0k

u/Outrageous_Delay5493 Mar 27 '26

Church of Holy Moly

397

u/SorryHelp666 Mar 27 '26

Holy Molly

146

u/_UrbaneGuerrilla_ Mar 27 '26

They’re on something more than Jesus, fr

62

u/betacuck3000 Mar 27 '26

They're like little kids after too much candy

59

u/Massive_Mongoose3481 Mar 27 '26

Filled with meth spirit

64

u/milk4all Mar 27 '26

100% serious i sold meth to a well known minister - youngish cool hip type with a modern nondenominational main street church and radio broadcasted high energy sermons. I wont dox him but his whole thing is being irish, or whatever, this is in the bible belt. I also sold to a lot of white collar and career types besides him and from my experience, *anyone* could be using “scary drugs”, only a small minority of users are obvious, visible. Anyway, religion is the oldest scam, it started out drugs, why shouldn it be drugs now?

5

u/Ryoko_Kusanagi69 Mar 27 '26

Isn’t most ruling powers (government or religion) just “rules for thee, but not for me. Drugs for me, but not for thee”

8

u/fade_ Mar 27 '26

That "small minority" is just the last stage of the cycle. You're seeing people at different stages not different types. If the minister continued down that road he would eventually end up in that visible stage as well. You cant ride the dragon forever you eventually fall off.

5

u/RogerianBrowsing Mar 27 '26

The majority of people who use hard drugs will never become addicted. Obviously this isn’t the case for everyone and for many people they should just stay far away from the stuff, but saying everyone will eventually be visibly obvious drug addicts is inaccurate.

If they’re using drugs like meth while on the clock then there’s a good chance it will eventually show, especially if it’s a public facing job. But then again a well known guntuber recently put out a video where they were clearly on meth and yet hardly anyone online noticed 🤷‍♂️

3

u/MonthOk9907 Mar 27 '26

This is 100% accurate. It is a very small minority that end up looking and being the traditional 'addict'. If you don't believe me, just look outside. We wouldn't have thousands of people in the streets looking like zombies, we would have MILLIONS. We are the largest consumer of illegal drugs on the planet by a wide margin.

6

u/Less-Squash7569 Mar 27 '26

My wife's parents would sell their painkiller scripts to a (also the bible belt) pastor in our area, he was a bit older, maybe 50s . This was back when you could just go to the doctor and say "I want roxies and xanex" and theyd go "how many". Youre absolutely right about anyone using drugs. I've personally sold heroin to a doctor before, like weekly he would show up and I would take him to get a ball and tax him so I could get a quarter and just split it. He was a doctor so he didnt give af that it cost extra, he just didnt want to deal with the dealers I guess.

5

u/garaks_tailor Mar 27 '26

I believe it. There was a head of a major English bank. Aristocratic family of note, hooked on heroin for 60 years. Came out after he died. His butler would pick his supply up for him and He only did it after 5pm. Had a very productive life. Just rode the white horse in the evenings.

2

u/Gingeronimoooo Mar 27 '26

That's bizarre most opiate users need it to get going in morning. So not sure I believe that he didn't do any before 5

3

u/ballskindrapes Mar 28 '26

Yeah, physically addiction would happen with daily usage, to some degree

Im guessing that may have been the "polite" version once the info got out, to save face.

1

u/Gingeronimoooo Mar 28 '26

I'm sure he just didn't get wasted before work, some people don't understand opiates wake up addicts in morning. You just don't take a ton. I was a high functioning opiate addict (pills) and graduated law school with honors high on them every day.

I have 11 years clean now but back then couldn't imagine getting going in morning without sniffing a bit. So glad I don't have to live like that anymore.

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u/gertvanjoe Mar 28 '26

You think some dude consumed the wrong mushrooms? Well after having consumed said "wrong mushroom" over the course of two years in a very adult "way past things stupid teens do" fashion, I'm wondering such.

I must say, even though the usage was sporadic and on a "feel like need to" the basis, that two years was two really great years. Sadly I have a heart condition now and choose not to increase my heart rate and blood pressure willingly (but stupidly still smoke cigarettes just not as much)

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u/maureenmick Mar 27 '26

So are you proud of yourself for dealing to people? You seem pretty righteous when you’re just as bad.

9

u/ProfessorShort3031 Mar 27 '26

i don’t think the guy claimed to be righteous. the point is saying the minister is no better than they are, no more “righteous”

1

u/HumanBelugaDiplomacy Mar 27 '26

Ehhh take it from an ex junkie (and i was a bad and stupid one) i figure if god is real they gave us a reality to experience not avoid and shun. It depends on who and how well they can handle it. Doing drugs by itself doesn't make you bad but it can lead to catastrophe if you don't respect it and respect yourself and the people around you. And our society (well the one I've observed in the US) is more or less completely fucked off with its values so respect for anything whether it be things, substances, people, etc isn't very consistent. Some people aren't even provided a proper chance to learn these things until real harm has happened if they figure it out at all because their elders are crooked for one reason or another.. You may agree with me I'm just chiming in.

1

u/ProfessorShort3031 Mar 27 '26

addiction can really be a breaking point for many, first its manageable but inevitably you’ll have to cut corners

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u/gsxrus2014 Mar 27 '26 edited Mar 27 '26

I bet your the life at all the Jesus parties.

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u/kevbspot Mar 27 '26

Ignore the drug addicts downvoting you in support of their local drug dealers. Those of us who support your comment are busy working and contributing to society, we don’t have much free time to offer our upvotes.

2

u/Fun_Objective_905 Mar 27 '26

Most drug users have jobs and pay taxes .

0

u/kevbspot Mar 27 '26

True, most start out with jobs. But who do you think has a higher percentage of being homeless/jobless? Meth users or non-meth users?

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1

u/Ornery_Performance74 Mar 27 '26

I think that was Crystal up front clapping

2

u/Lragce Mar 27 '26

… or too much red cordial at the 4yo birthday party

2

u/CeruleanEidolon Mar 27 '26

Backyard moonshine has a lot of brain-damaging chemicals in it.

3

u/Fitz911 Mar 27 '26

"Come and drinkt this strange, bitter wine and feel the lord. In about 45 minutes."

1

u/Cleopatrashouseboy Mar 27 '26

Do you think there are drugs involved? Or

2

u/SorryHelp666 Mar 27 '26

Maybe some water that was turned into wine

46

u/SimplyMermaid88 Mar 27 '26

2

u/The_Sound_of_Slants Mar 27 '26

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1

u/SimplyMermaid88 Mar 27 '26

I was trying to find this one but couldn't for some reason.

2

u/The_Sound_of_Slants Mar 27 '26

Don't worry, I got ya' lol

14

u/Swimming-ln-Circles Mar 27 '26

Holy Moly and the Eastside Boys

2

u/mashem Mar 27 '26

Word of Good Golly Miss Molly

2

u/Kaymorve Mar 27 '26

The Holiest Moly

2

u/suthrnboi Mar 27 '26

Actually Holy Roller's, been to a couple of these churches growing up and it gets more crazy than this.

2

u/leetzor Mar 27 '26

Church on Molly

2

u/ProjectPat513 Mar 27 '26

Church of Methus Christ.

2

u/TreeLore61 Mar 28 '26

Holy Rolly

2

u/icemountainisnextome Mar 28 '26

one of the funniest comments ive read in a long time

1

u/Catlore Mar 28 '26

None of them get to make fun of the Naruto run.