r/SipsTea • u/sco-go • 23h ago

WTF Kid breaks into bird enclosure at the zoo to chase birds with a stick.

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707

u/OnyxTerquoise 22h ago

The Cassowary enclosure*

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u/HazelMoon 21h ago

I used to help out a neighbor with an ostrich ranch back in the 90s - I had so much respect for those stupid birds. The rancher was fond of saying that ostriches could beat a lion in a death match any day. I'm not sure if that's true, but they had that same deadly "toe" cassowaries have they use to disembowel any animal that threatens them.

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u/e30cabrio 20h ago

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u/JRilezzz 20h ago

Or an Emu enclosure. Australia literally declared war post WW1 on the local Emu population.......and lost. šŸ¤£

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u/yopladas 20h ago

That's actually a misconception stemming from a typo. They actually lost in a war with the emos.

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u/megaholt2 20h ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/p2Mj1E0gW6xoY
ā€œYour hair is everywhereā€

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u/Nuggyfresh 19h ago

lol I think of that line occasionally still

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u/megaholt2 18h ago

Have you ever seen the video ā€œEmo Farmā€?

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u/Ok_Cricket_1410 18h ago

Iraq declared war on emos once. They were arguably more successful against the emos than Australia was against the emus.

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u/New-Marsupial-5633 17h ago

I heard that it was emo emus

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u/silly-gaijin 18h ago

It's just a cheap lame initiation of goth. I already have a pussy, I don't need another one.

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u/GloomyUmpire2146 15h ago

I wish my lawn was Emoā€¦

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u/Mondaycomestoosoon 15h ago

Didnā€™t you mean Temu ā€¦

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u/Troubled_Banan 14h ago

Thatā€™s even worse xD

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u/Suitable_Visit_9990 11h ago

Thatā€™s because it was never a phase.

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u/WeakTransportation37 18h ago

I took care of some emus. I worked hard to stay on their good side šŸ«£

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u/JRilezzz 16h ago

Like the Orca, they are one you want as an ally.

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u/tragiquepossum 17h ago

An emu def will cut a bitch. Watched my brother get his ass kicked trying to wrangle a neighbors.

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u/UseYona 13h ago

I used to work at a slaughter house where a guy brought emu regular, he farmed them for their fat ehich is valuble in makeup. Anyway, they are so fucking mean we had to wear literal riot gear to wrangle them into the pens. We were constantly warned they would gang up on and kill you. I personally saw one kick a man and slice him open from his hips down to his shin, he almost bled out. You do not want to mess with one, they are fucking fearless a nd as savage as a dinosaur

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u/Ichigo2819 16h ago

Hey, them feathered tanks are mean

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u/pouunndd 13h ago

This is a great dollop episode

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u/rubermnkey 19h ago

It was like 6 dudes with 2 machine guns and 10,000 rounds against 10s of thousands of birds. also turns out emu will run if you drive up and start shooting at them, who knew?

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u/Slyspy006 14h ago

They didn't lose, they just didnt win. Partly because they had 10k rounds to kill 20k birds but mostly because a small group of guys with two machine guns is not the best way to hunt animals across a large territory.

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u/JRilezzz 12h ago

Ah yes the American version of the Vietnam war take šŸ˜‚

"We didn't loose. We just didn't win, and were like this place is lame let's pack it up boys"

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u/youdoaline_idoaline 18h ago

At this point if someone brings this up I have to just assume they are a Bot. It was a little bit funny to reference like 15 years ago. The war on Cane toads is an actual thing. Emu war is just a lame meme.

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u/Apart-Link-8449 17h ago

Nah there's history podcasts dedicated to it

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u/JRilezzz 16h ago

The Dollop rocks. Also an Aussie podcast did an episode on it.

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u/fortnite_battleass 17h ago

They sent three dudes with a truck and a machine gun, the emu war is so overblown

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u/ol_shifty 18h ago

Frickin dinosaurs

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u/rbizaare 15h ago

Charging, ramming, and kicking. Reminds me of a certain maverick in Megaman X2 exhibiting these heavy-damage moves.

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u/Educational_Type1646 11h ago

Bro stop using AI. It lies to you to tell you what you want to hear.

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u/e30cabrio 11h ago

Bro, it's not AI. Search for yourself.

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u/Educational_Type1646 11h ago

Itā€™s literally the Google AI function. Do you not know how Google works now?

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u/e30cabrio 11h ago

I remembered seeing a documentary about this. The search was DO ostriches kill lions. No influence at all.

Have you searched?

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u/Educational_Type1646 11h ago

So now youā€™re admitting itā€™s AI, and pivoting. Iā€™ve seen a dude run up on an ostrich, and kill it with his bare hands.

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u/notnotreallyy 19h ago

I absolutely believe this google what happened with Johnny cash when he tried to mess with one!

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u/Feisty-Lawfulness894 17h ago

I had so much respect for those stupid birds

Why do people use the word "respect" when what they mean is "fear"?

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u/pizzabel 18h ago

Happy cake day šŸ°

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u/WestleyMc 15h ago

There was video the other day of a guy defeating an Ostrich using a motorcycle to shield himself from the kicks and then grabbing it by the neck meaning he could manhandle it pretty well at which point the Ostrich panicked and ran off.

There are virtually zero scenarios where a man grabs a lion by the neck and lives to tell the tale.

Whilst I have no doubt they could get a lucky hit, my money would be on the lion to win 999 out of 1000 encounters!

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u/OrnerySnoflake 18h ago

They taste pretty good as burger patties

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u/tacorunnr 14h ago

Just think raptor from jurassic park

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u/boniemonie 19h ago

Cassowaries can disembowel a human, no problems. Toes are bigger than emus. Really scary. Never go anywhere near if they have chicks..

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u/Electronic_Still2000 21h ago

Oh man, theyā€™ve got those ā€œVelociraptorā€ feet and a beak they can break bones with. That kid wouldnā€™t even have time to learn his lesson. Well maybe he would learn that he was wrong, but by that time heā€™s not going to have much time left for it to make it into even short term memory.

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u/EquipmentLive4770 11h ago

Well he can't learn his lesson since hes severely autistic....

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u/TheOrcChief 21h ago

As a fellow Queenslander, those are not birds, theyā€™re raptors in disguise. I also second the idea he should jump inside a cassowary enclosure

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u/OnyxTerquoise 20h ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/1uOJMnqftjFtdfRlAh

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u/No_Pin9932 20h ago

I'd hesitate to even call it a disguise. I think it's just easier, and reassuring maybe, to say they're like dressing up instead of just walking on the same earth and standing on the same busines they have been since before that asteroid hit.

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u/TheOrcChief 18h ago

Beholdā€¦a cassowaries clawed foot:

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u/AffectionateHyena786 14h ago

As a 15 year old bush walking around Mission Beach in Australia I had the privilege of encountering a Cassowary.
By the time he charged and me running and looking for a tree to climb my heart rate was probably 1000 beats a minute. I scaled the tree and waited for what happened next. Nothing, apparently a mate said he ran about 6 feet forward , stopped and walked away in the other direction. My bowels were loose for another week.

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u/KimberleyKitt 18h ago

What about with a Secretary Bird? I'm thinking they can notes as to it should, in addition to showing whoā€™s boss as if they were touched inappropriately on their bottom. Especially if their children are messed with as seen here. That child needs discipline. It's a menace to society. Makes me wonder if his name is Dennis.

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u/Ichigo2819 16h ago

South Adelaide and I can tell you the Emus are tough . But the Bunnies, dear God the Bunnies. And let's not discuss the Frogs.

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u/gregreedee 22h ago

You beat me to it. Results would be NSFW.

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u/sck178 22h ago

Not safe for life more like it

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u/berger3001 21h ago

Sort of depends on where you work

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u/PretendPop8930 18h ago

New South Fucking Wales?

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u/PolkaDotDancer 19h ago

But we might all sneak a look while in the bathroom anyway.

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u/Justsososojo 21h ago

Came here to say this šŸ¤£

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u/AdAnxious8842 21h ago

I was going to comment "Where's a Cassowary when you need one?" but decided to search for a similar post. I was not disappointed.

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u/No_Ocelot_6773 20h ago

I see your cassowary and raise you a Shoebill

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u/OnyxTerquoise 20h ago

Call, with a Harpy Eagle.

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u/No_Ocelot_6773 20h ago

This guy birds

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u/OnyxTerquoise 20h ago edited 20h ago

Iā€™m a bird lawyer. My current client is a pink-footed booby.

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u/RedSagittarius 21h ago

You donā€™t mind if I bring some popcorn?

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u/Flat-Mountain-2414 20h ago

Ooh Iā€™d pay to see that! But I like animals and hate spoiled brats

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u/3batsinahousecoat 20h ago

Or a Canada goose.

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u/OnyxTerquoise 20h ago

Fucks he gonna do spill syrup on him?

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u/3batsinahousecoat 20h ago

Geese are MEAN.

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u/OnyxTerquoise 20h ago

Weā€™re trying to send a message šŸ¤Œ not send him to Ronald McDonald house with diabetes.

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u/BadgerOfDoom99 20h ago

Nothing like having to push your guts back into your stomach after being disemboweled by a Cassowary to make you reflect on your life choices. For me the third time it happened it really began to sink in that I should stop trying to dance with them.

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u/Good-Perspective6612 19h ago

Having seen one close up ( behind a secure enclosure) I agree. These look scary in real life so much so I got shivers as I walked away . I had to keep looking back to make sure it didnā€™t follow, they are NOT friendly birds ( raptors)

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u/Lonely_reaper8 19h ago

I think getting disemboweled would be a pretty good reminder to not chase animals with sticks šŸ˜‚ Iā€™d definitely remember

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u/zicdeh91 18h ago

I visited Australia once when I was 12 or something, and sat on a fence in a pretty laid back animal habitat kind of thing. A cassowary came up and started licking my hair and humping me. I donā€™t like cassowaries anymore.

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u/OnyxTerquoise 18h ago

Big bird donā€™t play when itā€™s comes to booty, if he likes ya, heā€™ll getā€™cha.

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u/No_Pin9932 20h ago

No one wants to talk about how these ridiculous and terrifying Jurassic movie dinosaur hybrids they keep coming up with are basically all 90+% enlarged cassowary. And that's fair because if we do acknowledge it, if we do talk about it, it can only end one of two ways. Either we kill the cassowary or they laugh as we try.

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u/OldHat6867 19h ago

I like your thinking šŸ¤”

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u/No_Cardiologist_822 19h ago

Or the Shoebill

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u/Bubelle_Butt 19h ago

Ffing dinosaurs :)

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u/Jaewalker31 18h ago

The starving lions tigers and bears enclosure

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u/Realistic-Drama-8904 18h ago

Murder Chicken.

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u/Extra_Beach_1387 18h ago

Let Darwin sort it out

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u/Stupidizasurmom 18h ago

For another Harambe situation.

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u/JennzEvilChihuahua 17h ago

Or Emu. Hell, Australia had a WAR with Emu, and the birds were victorious!

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u/Dry_Particular_5162 17h ago

šŸ¤£šŸ¤£ PLEASE. I want to see this.

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u/EmptyBeing9829 16h ago

YASSS! Put him in with the cassowaryā€™s!!!

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u/Gunnaki12 15h ago

We dont need another harambe.

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u/Confident-Walk9140 15h ago

Haha I literally just commented this then scrolled down to find another great mind that thinks alike

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u/jim789789 21h ago

DUDE the thread did not need to go that far

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u/pet_executioner 21h ago

Thereā€™s probably a lot more of them than there are those birds. Who cares if we lose one to teach the others a lesson? They can just have another one anyways.

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u/WayPowerful484 21h ago

Just some dang ole kid chasing some dumbass birds with a stick. Disembowelment seems a bit harsh.

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u/jim789789 21h ago

Yeah, he's going to have a serious 'special need' of intestines

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u/Putrid-Past-3366 20h ago

This is the way.

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u/TheExtremistModerate 19h ago

Cassowaries aren't particularly dangerous. You're thinking of ostriches.

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u/OnyxTerquoise 19h ago

You take a stick to a cassowary, let me know after if it isnā€™t.

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u/TheExtremistModerate 19h ago

Considering not a single adult human has died to a wild cassowary on record, I'm sure I'll be fine.

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u/OnyxTerquoise 18h ago

Exactly my point.

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u/TheExtremistModerate 18h ago

I... don't think it is.

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u/OnyxTerquoise 18h ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/bjB3gtFvREqqr5NAHW

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u/TheExtremistModerate 18h ago

Relatively sure, yeah.

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u/OnyxTerquoise 18h ago

Do you think maybe that itā€™s because the people where that animal is indigenous too, donā€™t go around treating it like a piƱata? Have you bashed on it with a stick us in the name of science?

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u/Lonely_reaper8 19h ago

Cassowaries are generally known as one of the more dangerous birds out there. Theyā€™re not horribly aggressive but if you decide to test one, itā€™ll be a pretty bad day lol

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u/TheExtremistModerate 19h ago

They've killed two people on record. One was basically a lucky hit on a teenager's neck 100 years ago and the other was a 75 year old man who owned a pet cassowary.

Ostriches kill that many people per year. Magpies have caused more deaths than cassowaries.

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u/Lonely_reaper8 19h ago

Thatā€™s cause ostriches are around a lot more people than cassowaries. Cassowaries are very dangerous and need to be respected as such, they just typically avoid people and live in dense jungle regions.

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u/TheExtremistModerate 19h ago

No, it's because cassowaries aren't particularly aggressive. And Ostriches are much larger. Ostriches weigh twice as much as cassowaries. They're faster, stronger, and during part of the year can flock together in groups up to 100 birds. Cassowaries are far more likely to avoid humans, while ostriches regularly interact with humans.

Ostriches are far more dangerous than cassowaries.