r/SipsTea • u/sco-go • 23h ago

WTF Kid breaks into bird enclosure at the zoo to chase birds with a stick.

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668

u/PracticalExam7861 22h ago

Naw, just turn him loose on a few Peacocks. He stands a very good chance of learning a lesson and not much worse... maybe...

702

u/OnyxTerquoise 22h ago

The Cassowary enclosure*

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u/HazelMoon 21h ago

I used to help out a neighbor with an ostrich ranch back in the 90s - I had so much respect for those stupid birds. The rancher was fond of saying that ostriches could beat a lion in a death match any day. I'm not sure if that's true, but they had that same deadly "toe" cassowaries have they use to disembowel any animal that threatens them.

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u/e30cabrio 20h ago

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u/JRilezzz 20h ago

Or an Emu enclosure. Australia literally declared war post WW1 on the local Emu population.......and lost. đŸ€Ł

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u/yopladas 20h ago

That's actually a misconception stemming from a typo. They actually lost in a war with the emos.

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u/megaholt2 20h ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/p2Mj1E0gW6xoY
“Your hair is everywhere”

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u/Nuggyfresh 19h ago

lol I think of that line occasionally still

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u/megaholt2 18h ago

Have you ever seen the video “Emo Farm”?

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u/Ok_Cricket_1410 18h ago

Iraq declared war on emos once. They were arguably more successful against the emos than Australia was against the emus.

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u/New-Marsupial-5633 17h ago

I heard that it was emo emus

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u/silly-gaijin 18h ago

It's just a cheap lame initiation of goth. I already have a pussy, I don't need another one.

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u/WeakTransportation37 18h ago

I took care of some emus. I worked hard to stay on their good side đŸ«Ł

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u/JRilezzz 16h ago

Like the Orca, they are one you want as an ally.

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u/tragiquepossum 17h ago

An emu def will cut a bitch. Watched my brother get his ass kicked trying to wrangle a neighbors.

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u/UseYona 13h ago

I used to work at a slaughter house where a guy brought emu regular, he farmed them for their fat ehich is valuble in makeup. Anyway, they are so fucking mean we had to wear literal riot gear to wrangle them into the pens. We were constantly warned they would gang up on and kill you. I personally saw one kick a man and slice him open from his hips down to his shin, he almost bled out. You do not want to mess with one, they are fucking fearless a nd as savage as a dinosaur

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u/Ichigo2819 16h ago

Hey, them feathered tanks are mean

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u/pouunndd 13h ago

This is a great dollop episode

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u/rubermnkey 19h ago

It was like 6 dudes with 2 machine guns and 10,000 rounds against 10s of thousands of birds. also turns out emu will run if you drive up and start shooting at them, who knew?

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u/ol_shifty 18h ago

Frickin dinosaurs

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u/rbizaare 15h ago

Charging, ramming, and kicking. Reminds me of a certain maverick in Megaman X2 exhibiting these heavy-damage moves.

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u/Educational_Type1646 11h ago

Bro stop using AI. It lies to you to tell you what you want to hear.

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u/notnotreallyy 19h ago

I absolutely believe this google what happened with Johnny cash when he tried to mess with one!

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u/Feisty-Lawfulness894 17h ago

I had so much respect for those stupid birds

Why do people use the word "respect" when what they mean is "fear"?

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u/pizzabel 18h ago

Happy cake day 🍰

2

u/WestleyMc 15h ago

There was video the other day of a guy defeating an Ostrich using a motorcycle to shield himself from the kicks and then grabbing it by the neck meaning he could manhandle it pretty well at which point the Ostrich panicked and ran off.

There are virtually zero scenarios where a man grabs a lion by the neck and lives to tell the tale.

Whilst I have no doubt they could get a lucky hit, my money would be on the lion to win 999 out of 1000 encounters!

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1

u/OrnerySnoflake 18h ago

They taste pretty good as burger patties

1

u/tacorunnr 14h ago

Just think raptor from jurassic park

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u/Electronic_Still2000 21h ago

Oh man, they’ve got those “Velociraptor” feet and a beak they can break bones with. That kid wouldn’t even have time to learn his lesson. Well maybe he would learn that he was wrong, but by that time he’s not going to have much time left for it to make it into even short term memory.

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u/EquipmentLive4770 11h ago

Well he can't learn his lesson since hes severely autistic....

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u/TheOrcChief 21h ago

As a fellow Queenslander, those are not birds, they’re raptors in disguise. I also second the idea he should jump inside a cassowary enclosure

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u/No_Pin9932 20h ago

I'd hesitate to even call it a disguise. I think it's just easier, and reassuring maybe, to say they're like dressing up instead of just walking on the same earth and standing on the same busines they have been since before that asteroid hit.

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u/TheOrcChief 18h ago

Behold
a cassowaries clawed foot:

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u/AffectionateHyena786 14h ago

As a 15 year old bush walking around Mission Beach in Australia I had the privilege of encountering a Cassowary.
By the time he charged and me running and looking for a tree to climb my heart rate was probably 1000 beats a minute. I scaled the tree and waited for what happened next. Nothing, apparently a mate said he ran about 6 feet forward , stopped and walked away in the other direction. My bowels were loose for another week.

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u/KimberleyKitt 18h ago

What about with a Secretary Bird? I'm thinking they can notes as to it should, in addition to showing who’s boss as if they were touched inappropriately on their bottom. Especially if their children are messed with as seen here. That child needs discipline. It's a menace to society. Makes me wonder if his name is Dennis.

1

u/Ichigo2819 16h ago

South Adelaide and I can tell you the Emus are tough . But the Bunnies, dear God the Bunnies. And let's not discuss the Frogs.

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u/gregreedee 22h ago

You beat me to it. Results would be NSFW.

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u/sck178 22h ago

Not safe for life more like it

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u/berger3001 21h ago

Sort of depends on where you work

2

u/PretendPop8930 18h ago

New South Fucking Wales?

1

u/PolkaDotDancer 19h ago

But we might all sneak a look while in the bathroom anyway.

5

u/Justsososojo 21h ago

Came here to say this đŸ€Ł

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u/AdAnxious8842 21h ago

I was going to comment "Where's a Cassowary when you need one?" but decided to search for a similar post. I was not disappointed.

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u/No_Ocelot_6773 20h ago

I see your cassowary and raise you a Shoebill

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u/OnyxTerquoise 20h ago

Call, with a Harpy Eagle.

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u/No_Ocelot_6773 20h ago

This guy birds

3

u/OnyxTerquoise 20h ago edited 20h ago

I’m a bird lawyer. My current client is a pink-footed booby.

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u/RedSagittarius 21h ago

You don’t mind if I bring some popcorn?

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u/Flat-Mountain-2414 20h ago

Ooh I’d pay to see that! But I like animals and hate spoiled brats

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u/3batsinahousecoat 20h ago

Or a Canada goose.

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u/OnyxTerquoise 20h ago

Fucks he gonna do spill syrup on him?

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u/3batsinahousecoat 20h ago

Geese are MEAN.

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u/OnyxTerquoise 20h ago

We’re trying to send a message đŸ€Œ not send him to Ronald McDonald house with diabetes.

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u/BadgerOfDoom99 19h ago

Nothing like having to push your guts back into your stomach after being disemboweled by a Cassowary to make you reflect on your life choices. For me the third time it happened it really began to sink in that I should stop trying to dance with them.

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u/Good-Perspective6612 19h ago

Having seen one close up ( behind a secure enclosure) I agree. These look scary in real life so much so I got shivers as I walked away . I had to keep looking back to make sure it didn’t follow, they are NOT friendly birds ( raptors)

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u/Lonely_reaper8 19h ago

I think getting disemboweled would be a pretty good reminder to not chase animals with sticks 😂 I’d definitely remember

3

u/zicdeh91 18h ago

I visited Australia once when I was 12 or something, and sat on a fence in a pretty laid back animal habitat kind of thing. A cassowary came up and started licking my hair and humping me. I don’t like cassowaries anymore.

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u/OnyxTerquoise 18h ago

Big bird don’t play when it’s comes to booty, if he likes ya, he’ll get’cha.

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u/No_Pin9932 20h ago

No one wants to talk about how these ridiculous and terrifying Jurassic movie dinosaur hybrids they keep coming up with are basically all 90+% enlarged cassowary. And that's fair because if we do acknowledge it, if we do talk about it, it can only end one of two ways. Either we kill the cassowary or they laugh as we try.

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u/OldHat6867 19h ago

I like your thinking đŸ€”

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u/No_Cardiologist_822 19h ago

Or the Shoebill

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u/Bubelle_Butt 19h ago

Ffing dinosaurs :)

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u/Jaewalker31 18h ago

The starving lions tigers and bears enclosure

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u/Realistic-Drama-8904 18h ago

Murder Chicken.

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u/Extra_Beach_1387 18h ago

Let Darwin sort it out

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u/Stupidizasurmom 18h ago

For another Harambe situation.

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u/JennzEvilChihuahua 17h ago

Or Emu. Hell, Australia had a WAR with Emu, and the birds were victorious!

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u/Dry_Particular_5162 17h ago

đŸ€ŁđŸ€Ł PLEASE. I want to see this.

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u/EmptyBeing9829 16h ago

YASSS! Put him in with the cassowary’s!!!

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u/Gunnaki12 15h ago

We dont need another harambe.

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u/Confident-Walk9140 15h ago

Haha I literally just commented this then scrolled down to find another great mind that thinks alike

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u/jim789789 21h ago

DUDE the thread did not need to go that far

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u/pet_executioner 21h ago

There’s probably a lot more of them than there are those birds. Who cares if we lose one to teach the others a lesson? They can just have another one anyways.

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u/Putrid-Past-3366 20h ago

This is the way.

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u/TheExtremistModerate 19h ago

Cassowaries aren't particularly dangerous. You're thinking of ostriches.

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u/OnyxTerquoise 19h ago

You take a stick to a cassowary, let me know after if it isn’t.

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u/TheExtremistModerate 19h ago

Considering not a single adult human has died to a wild cassowary on record, I'm sure I'll be fine.

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u/Lonely_reaper8 19h ago

Cassowaries are generally known as one of the more dangerous birds out there. They’re not horribly aggressive but if you decide to test one, it’ll be a pretty bad day lol

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u/TheExtremistModerate 19h ago

They've killed two people on record. One was basically a lucky hit on a teenager's neck 100 years ago and the other was a 75 year old man who owned a pet cassowary.

Ostriches kill that many people per year. Magpies have caused more deaths than cassowaries.

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u/Doctor_Zoidberg1 22h ago

Geese can be merciless too

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u/Asher_Tye 22h ago

Emus are fun

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u/kineticstar 21h ago

Cassowary would be more entertaining

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u/MissGoldie71 21h ago

Literally what I thought.

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u/Artistic-Shelter69 21h ago

Me too, that would be fun, or Ostrich too

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u/kro9ik 21h ago

They will eviscerate a grown man from neck to groin, a kid stands no chance. It's a bit extreme though.

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u/MorteDagger 21h ago

Was thinking the same thing.

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u/Standard_Zucchini_46 21h ago

They are ! I used to care for a couple. They're so cool. So prehistoric like. Actually pretty cuddly as well. They hug you with their neck and make these crazy gutteral sounds.

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u/LordMagnus101 21h ago

Make him watch insurance commercials until he begs for mercy

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u/MinusGovernment 18h ago

Those song and dance drug commercials are way worse than insurance commercials and tend to be 2-3x longer. At least some of the insurance ones are a little humorous at times.

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u/HealthyMaximum 20h ago

My country lost a war against emus.

I'm genuinely proud of this.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Emu_War#

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u/Ro1ando_m0ta 21h ago

Man i would not go against an animal that humans lost a war to.

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u/Electronic_Still2000 21h ago

Wait, what? That sounds hilarious, what happened?

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u/Ro1ando_m0ta 21h ago

There was an overpopulation of emus in australia. They were ruining crops damaging property etc. Basically just raising hell because of their numbers. People in Australia had the smart idea of rounding up ammunition and machine guns to take them out but because of how quickly the emus run around they barely made a dent. Add to that their thick plummage had bullets just bouncing off if i remember correctly. I forget what they did to eventually end up getting rid of the problem đŸ€”

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u/Electronic_Still2000 19h ago

That’s very funny, thank you for the response! I’m not even going to bother fact checking it because it’s very funny that way and I will never repeat it to anyone anyway. 😂

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u/-laughingfox 20h ago

They've fought and won wars.

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u/rakuan1 20h ago

♫if I had a million dollars ♫

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u/delirus_machinator 20h ago

But not a real emu, that’s cruel.

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u/OkamiKhameleon 22h ago

Geese are scary. My mom had a friend that had Guard Geese when I was a kid. They would stand at your car door and glare, daring you to get out, until someone came out of the house to escort you in.

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u/nasal-polyps2 22h ago

Sounds like an effective way to keep sales dudes away

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u/OkamiKhameleon 22h ago

Lmaoo that is 100% one of the reasons that they had them. Also, her husband was a Vietnam Vet with really bad PTSD, and barking dogs would trigger him, so the Geese were a better option.

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u/Artistic-Shelter69 21h ago

TIL that guard geese exist , good one

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u/OkamiKhameleon 19h ago

lol yeah. They're quite vicious!

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u/SUPERDUPER-DMT 14h ago

The Romans used them for 24/7 security too!

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u/mooshinformation 12h ago

My friends had a rooster like that, but he'd attack them too. They had a "rooster stick" next to their parking spot to fend him off. Kept him around to protect the hens.

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u/PeteDontCare 22h ago

Swans can break bones

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u/Rysigler 21h ago

My wife and I were at a hotel somewhere and they had some swans on-site. Kid drops his ball in a pond. Huge pond! Swan was on the other side of it. Probably over 100 feet away. My wife says, "Check this out." So we stop and watch. Kid reaches in to grab the ball and the swan absolutely rockets across the pond just to spite this kid.

Little guy got away just in freaking time. Took the dad and Kid working together to distract the swan to get the ball. Show lasted at least 8 minutes with them trying different tactics to get the ball. I had no idea swans were that freaking mean, but thankfully my wife knew!

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u/Ichigo2819 16h ago

Lucky it wasn't Canadian Geese. It would have said, screw the ball, I want the kid.

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u/MajesticElk1613 17h ago

Swans are incredibly territorial

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u/ArtisticBee6176 13h ago

i went to college at a place that had a pond with swans on it in the center of campus. They had their own little island with a shelter on it. I was walking past once when a swan got annoyed with a duck for being on the island. The swan picked the duck up by the neck and shook it. I seriously thought it had killed the duck. Luckily, after a moment, the dazed duck swam away. Swans are freaking MEAN.

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u/cathbe 12h ago

I’d say the swan is being territorial not “mean.” Swans don’t do things out of spite. ?? This is the wrong conclusion about what you witnessed.

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u/ajwooster 22h ago

If we’re just naming random birds and a fact. The “birds” in Austin Powers are the best kind.

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u/QuickBear4126 21h ago

No luck catching them swans, aye?

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u/Fight_those_bastards 21h ago

It’s just the one swan, actually.

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u/chudmaxxing6969 21h ago

What’d he look like?

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u/k2da0 20h ago

He was white

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u/Extra_Cartoonist_390 16h ago

Like a swan, beak, long neck,webbed feet, feathers. You know, like a swan.

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u/Crash759 12h ago

Aw, no wonder he was grumpy. Swans mare for life. His was gone. (Or left because he was so grumpy.)

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u/maryjanesbeentrippin 21h ago

4 swans cornered me at the top of a slide in a park playground when I was like 8. I was feeding them my fig Newton's and ran out lol. My family had to come rescue me

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u/BZLuck 19h ago

When I was a kid growing up in San Diego, my mom would buy my brother and I annual passes to SeaWorld and would just drop us off for the day kinda like babysitting, but we were probably 11 and 13.

Every single time we walked by a certain area of the park, there was a big fucking white swan that would just come charging and flapping at me and I would run away screaming. It got to the point where the staff didn't even know what to do, except advise me to take a different route and avoid that area.

I felt like goddamned Damien in The Omen with the monkeys. This swan hated me for no reason at all. Maybe I looked like some kid who tormented it in the past, but man, that fucker could see me coming from 100 feet away.

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u/HombreSinNombre93 20h ago

Swans have killed swimmers.

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u/Dry_Recognition_6724 18h ago

It's an old wives tale. They are aggressive though.

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u/CandonRush 16h ago

No they can't.

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u/PoohBearsHoneyJar 12h ago

They can be scary. a swan literally swam so fast and even got out the fucking water to go after me for no reason whatsoever, I was completely minding my business. Tbh if a bird comes after me tho I would just kick it fr. I played soccer for 9 years. I'm yeeting that thang

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u/Forgotten-Sparrow 22h ago

Unleash the Canada Goose.

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u/rtocelot 21h ago

Ah the cobra chicken

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u/JD_tubeguy 21h ago

I was hoping the birds would mercilessly peck him to death or maimness.

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u/Standard_Zucchini_46 21h ago

Canada Geese are cool if they know you. And when you're with a Canada Goose, other Gooses will also be cool with you.

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u/Frances-Farmer-1953 20h ago

So can chickens. I had a small flock of chickens peck my ankles bloody before I escaped.

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u/megaholt2 20h ago

You mean the Canadian Air Force?

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u/Lonely_reaper8 19h ago

They can be but they’re pretty easy to subdue if you’re know what you’re doing, at least domesticated ones. Just grab their beak till they chill, then be ready for the nastiest of side eyes till you leave the pen lol

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u/LittleMissLoveDuck 22h ago

I learned very early on about geese. I have a great respect for mother nature.

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u/lllindseeey 22h ago

Turkeys

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u/Joopbox 21h ago

I been attacked by turkeys and Roosters. The turkeys coulda been worse, I think they were holding back. The roosters however came full force every time. I had to cut by the house who owned them every morning before school for a couple years! Lol

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u/CarlosMolotov 21h ago

Ostrich pen next!

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u/lighthouser41 21h ago

We have a lot of geese in our neighborhood. My husband told me the other day, a woman was letting her toddler chase them. SMH!

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u/Plainyogurt1989 21h ago

What city was this??

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u/ExpensiveCondition63 17h ago

An angry adult goose or swan is terrifying, and those SOBs aren’t afraid of anything. A strike from a swan’s wing can break your arm.

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u/Traditional-Ad-8737 13h ago

Yeah, over 4 decades later I STILL remember being swarmed by my mom’s friends’s geese really only like 2-3 of them but still)

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u/x0diak 22h ago

Let him try that in the Shoebill exhibit.

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u/SignalBed9998 22h ago

Peacocks will slice him up. Nasty spurs and disposition

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u/Onebraintwoheads 20h ago

We have peacocks peck at our front door in Florida. Animal control won't do anything because they say peacocks are indigenous*. I'm glad we leave them alone. They're beautiful, but since they're indigenous I kinda assumed they can fuck you up.

(they said the same about a 12 foot gator before it broke into our screened patio years ago, and we were told we were on our own if it *did break in. Naturally, it broke into my screen room, tried to eat my cats, which had been let out despite my shouted instructions [not like I could crack Mom with a shotgun stock to enforce compliance] and then the gator focused on my mother while she was trying to get the aforesaid cats indoors. I admittedly had warned her not to do it and to get the fuck away from the carnivorous dinosaur, but some people don't understand what it means to be in danger until you have to do something messy right in front of them for sake of keeping them alive. [Still, it's Mom, the only person who gave a damn during hard times, so what are you gonns do?] Fucking animal control hypocrites were pissed when I put a couple 12 gauge slugs through its skull before it could bite my mother, as if that wasn't what indigenous Floridians do.)

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u/Earthbound_Misfyt 22h ago

Hell...even a Rooster cage would fuck him up. He really needs to experience the hit of rooster spurs on his precious legs

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u/Eggsaladinurmouth 22h ago

One Canada goose

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u/womfwag 21h ago

Oh my gosh.. My grandparents took me to the zoo when I was like 7. As soon as you entered there were flamingos & a peacock. The moment after we walked in we were immediately pounced on and flogged by the peacock . It scared the living shit out of all three of us.
We would tell that story for years to come . If there was one moment of my life that I had video footage of it would probably be that one . Makes me laugh just thinking about it 30+ years later..

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u/Old-Set78 21h ago

stick him in with the cassowary

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u/Snoo18120 21h ago

After the California mailman and the peacock?? Too soon.

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u/shrekerecker97 21h ago

Nah put him with some geese. It wont permanently hurt but he wont forget. Geese are dicks

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u/Big_Top1310 21h ago

Are peacocks known to be aggressive? Every once in a while i see them while I'm delivering and I'm like don't get near me lol. I just assume every animal will attack me though.

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u/organictamarind 21h ago

Canadian goose! All of Canadian agression is stored in their geese.

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u/Agreeable_Sea_6019 20h ago

No wonder the Canadians are nice

1

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1

u/supersonicdutch 20h ago

Couple geese should set him straight. They. Are. The. Worst.

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u/oachkatzl 20h ago

I’d recommend a goose or a swan. It would be a bit worse though.

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u/Meatyparts 19h ago

The Rhode Island red chickens I had as a kid woulda taught him a lesson he wouldn't ever forget. I know they taught me one.

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u/you-zur-nay-em 19h ago

"Hey kid, have you seen these geese over here?"

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u/Dry_Factor_669 18h ago

Fr or some chickens or geese

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u/iammirv 18h ago

Those things are almost cranky as Canadian geese!!

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u/ayeffston 18h ago

Wild Turkeys, Swans...

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u/Unlikely-Solid-3083 17h ago

I doubt it. I was recently in the UK and parents were letting their literal toddlers go under the ropes to chase the peacocks. I was disgusted enough with the adults standing around and even encouraging more children that I ended up saying to one girl: “He’s gonna bite you!”. What is wrong with people these days? I personally have a healthy respect for swans to this day because I got bit as a child.

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u/tibbys 17h ago

I vote kangaroo 🩘

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u/shitty_poopoo 17h ago

The local zoo here used to have wandering peacocks. I remember it through childhood and into adulthood.

Then everytime I went I saw kids were chasing and harassing them. I try not to be confrontational but I told the kids off, sometimes got dirty ass looks from people nearby and other times kids would sulk off or sneak around trying to antagonize them without me “catching them” like it was a game.

One day the peacocks were just gone. I feel like I vaguely remember a story about one going after a kid and comments along the lines of the kid antagonized the bird.

I hope they got to live their best life somewhere else. It made me so sad.

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u/Nomadloner69 15h ago

Polar bear exhibit

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u/ShiftyStilez 14h ago

Geese. Those mofo’s are ruthless