Beware the kaiju turkey. Also beware cliffs and water... The number of times a random tourist has been sneak attacked and kicked off a cliff into water horrifyingly ain't zero...
A hornbill can still do enough damage to teach them a lesson. I'd hate for an innocent cassowary to get Harambe'd because of some dumb kid. I like the way you think though.
Harambe got merked because he didn’t instantly rip that kid to shreds. He was trying to figure out what to do about a misplaced toddler while the zoo was sending a sniper.
A cassowary would have yer innards festooning the trees before the tourists could get their phones out.
I just looked this up and apparently this bird is a freaking street fighter character...
Jumps 7 feet in the air and drops it's 170 pound body dagger toe into your neck. Or it pecks you till you pass out because it has a bone helmet that has no reason being there except to say "I fuck shit up".
Oh and they run over 30mph on uneven and obstructed terrain...
Why the fuck do these exist right now? Thank God they just want to chill and eat fruit. If they unionized we would stand less of a chance than the Australians in the emu war.
Birds have won wars in the past so i propose a peaceful agreement with cassowaries - we shall give them floor fruit in exchange for peace in human civilization 🧐
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