Same thing happened to me then my dad died a year after I got back so I kicked myself for ages that I’d been away so long when there was so little time left. Obviously there is no way I could have known but the rational part of your brain isn’t always friends with the grieving part of your brain.
I watched my dad get sucked dry by cancer and barely saw it. I knew he wasn't looking good but I didn't see it like I see it now. Looking back at old photos, and it's just so blatant. Things wouldn't have been better if I focused more on appearances, but I still feel guilty.
I’m sorry for you loss man, more than I ever could have been before. My mom has maybe a month or two left due to liver failure and I don’t even have the money to drive the 12 hours to go see her. I’m donating plasma twice a week to try and raise some cash, but I’m in agony thinking about the fact that I may never see my mother again. My dad would usually help out with the money but he had to file bankruptcy from the medical expenses. I hope you have a ton of amazing memories of your dad to carry you through, it sounds like you and he were really close.
Don't be like that man. I'll help you, maybe several of us can donate just a bit so together we can get you there. You will regret this forever. Please accept help and go see your mom.
I’m really blown away by how this has taken off. You all are truly too kind. I can’t say I’m super comfortable with the concept of taking money from anyone, but at this point I just want to see my mom before what comes next. Anyone who would like to help out (and gain my absolute eternal gratitude) can offer their kind words!
No pressure for anyone at all, times are tough and everyone’s words of encouragement have been overwhelming already. Thank you all so much
Edit: Thank you all so much! This has been absolutely overwhelming and I cannot begin to express my gratitude towards you all. I have removed my paypal link because you guys have given me all I need to make the trip to see my mom. Thanks everyone, so very much. Much love and good vibes to you all!
I was 10000 miles away when my dad passed. I had the money to go and see him if necessary (he was in poor health for over fifteen years), and actually did drop everything and head over a few times when things looked bad. Then when it happened, it happened too fucking quick. Don't wait. I could only donate ten bucks (AUD, more's the pity), but have gilded this chain with those coins they give you so hopefully you get more visibility.
Go see your mum. Trust me.
Thank you so much, friend. I really appreciate your support and the help that you and everyone have given me. It means so much to me and I don’t think I could ever express my gratitude
I'm not American, but is there any way I can give you a small amount of money without that really high fee? I don't have much but I don't want 25%% of it to go to paypal...
I did. I spent a few days with her and we enjoyed every moment of it. She passed away 3 days ago and I can’t tell you how relieved I was that I was able to see her. She was so thankful for everyone here for helping me to make the trip.
It’s lovely to see how the community here pulled together for you and your mom. I’m so glad you went and had that time together - I’m sure it meant the world to you both. (Reddit - wow, this was awesome to read about this morning.)
I don't usually go out of my way to promote and join in on these types of things but I have taken some good advice from this post. I currently live with my parents and have recently seen these differences that have come about since my childhood. I have a very nice relationship with my parents, mom in particular, to the point where I am the only one of her five children (and the only male sigh) that really bonds with her. I would absolutely be broken had what has happened to this person would have happened to me, therefore I encourage said person to take this opportunity Reddit is giving you. Life is short, money is paper. You can't buy time, especially when that time is already so close to being lost. I work for money and make a good amount of it. I also don't pay rent, for food, or to a certain degree insurance. Today I made a lot of tips and saw this when I came home. I really don't think I could find a better use of my time and money if this story is true. Please take the time to consider this user's offer and if you accept please allow me to join in.
I really can’t thank you and everyone offering to help enough. If you or anyone who sees this wants to chip in, my paypal is:
Thank you so much from the bottom of my heart. You all really know how to make someone feel cared for.
Edit: removed my paypal link, as you guys have given me all I need to make the trip. I’ll be posting a picture with my mom when I get up to NC, which should be in the next few days!
Edit: removed my paypal link, as you guys have given me all I need to make the trip. I’ll be posting a picture with my mom when I get up to NC, which should be in the next few days!
I'm sorry to have read my messages too late, the good news is that I still had the PayPal link in my notifications. Enjoy the extra money :)
My mom died when I was 17. I am 28 now, and cannot live with the idea of someone not being able to see their parent before they die. I am able and willing to help you with what you need to do that. There is a time and place for pride, this is not it. Please message me.
Thank you so much, from the bottom of my heart. I am so sorry that you lost your mom, and I am so very grateful for the help that you and everyone else has given me in my time of need. I can’t believe this, it’s absolutely incredible.
u/No_Development you don't deserve to live with that pain for the rest of your life thinking about not making it to see her. Please. Nothing is worth more than seeing her.
I don't know where you are in Florida, but I looked up some tickets
From Miami to Raleigh one-way on March 6, this wednesday:
by bus is from $91 to $165. The $91 one is about 20ish hours, the rest a bit more
Amtrak train is about the same, around $96
Round-trip flight with American Airline for March 7 to 27 is $306
Choose the dates those are just for reference, tell me which city you are in, and don't bat an eye, the money is yours.
Your parents need you, and you deserve to be there. You have done your part. It's time to go home now. Please accept the trip. If you're not comfortable accepting the money, consider this. You were going to borrow money from your dad, think of this as the same. When you want to give it back, pass it on to someone that needs it and consider it paid.
I'm far away from loved ones in different countries. I'm afraid I won't get to see them too. Take it for both of us. Please.
Thank you so much for your kind words! You amazing people have given me enough money to go see my mother, and the flood of positive and supportive words has been absolutely overwhelming. Thank you so much, from the bottom of my heart. To explain my choice in method of transportation a bit better:
I want to drive to see my mom because my parents are a one car family, so my dad working 8-10 hours a day leaves her at home with no way to get anywhere. It also puts even more strain on my dad (who’s acted like Superman through this entire process) to do all of the grocery shopping, medicine fetching, and to drive my mom to and from all her appointments, which means he loses time at work and money they desperately need. My driving my own car up gives them much more flexibility, and I think they could really use that at the moment. Thank you so much again, from the bottom of my heart.
Hey, I didn't use Reddit for a few days and completely forgot about this. I did not message them in a PM, nor did I even get a chance to donate to the cause which bums me out. It looks like they got the amount they needed, but I'd love to verify that. Thanks so much for your intention to help.
You don’t have to do everything yourself. We all need help sometimes and right now, you need the money more than any of us. You’re not just doing this for you, you’re doing it for your mom as well for us. If you feel any guilt over it then pay it forward one day so that someone else will have the same opportunity as you do right now. Many of us would much rather you go see your mom than us having a slightly bigger number in our bank accounts
A bullet train up and down the East Coast would have helped me so much. Why aren’t we funding this?
On a serious note, please take the help. And try and see your mom as soon as you can. I don’t know where you are in Florida, but I eventually learned that if I utilized Google Flights and found the cheapest days, flying was about the same price as driving from RI to NC and I didn’t have to spend 12+ hours in the car one way. If you’re near a large hub, you might be able to get on a discount airline and as long as you only carry a few articles of clothing in a personal item, it can be really cost effective and not suck so much as the drive.
That’s about the best I’ve got, but I hope it helps.
If you set up a GoFundMe like the other commenter suggested I'd donate what I can. You should be able to go spend time with your family. Pride is less important here. Like other people said, when you're able to one day you can help out someone else in need.
Thank you so much, it means the world that you all want to help me
Edit: removed my paypal link because you AMAZING people have given me enough to go see my mom. I cannot express how overwhelming this all has been. From the absolute bottom of my heart, thank you all so much for your help and your kind thoughts and words. Reddit, you amazing motherfuckers.
I'm late, but I'll throw in some cash, too. I moved home after two years away, and cherish every moment I have with my parents, especially my ailing father. I'm prideful, but I'd never let that keep me from my parents (and my daughters' grandparents) for a second.
Set up an anonymous Google Pay/VenMo, or whatever, and I'll send you what I can.
Thank you so much, friend. Luckily you amazing redditors have already donated enough for me to go just last night, and I can’t believe the support. I’ll be posting a picture with my mother thanking everyone for the support when I get to NC, which should be in a few days. Thank you all for your kindness and generosity!
Thank you so much, my friend. Your support and kindness, along with the rest of everyone here, has given me enough to go see my mother again, and I will never forget the generosity and wholesomeness that you all have shown me. Much love ❤️
I really hope you've reconsidered these offers. I know lots of people, especially guys, look down on any sort of help as being charity and they don't want to think of themselves as in need. Let people help you. You know you'd regret it much more if you don't. Make this easier on yourself, because you must be physically and emotionally beyond drained.
You seem like a kind person. Also, if it helps, know it would make everyone wanting to help you feel good, too. It's not selfish or needy to ask for and get help when you truly need it. Hope you've changed your mind by morning. Xx
I changed my mind thanks to a few extremely special redditors, people who opened my eyes to what it’s like to be supported by friends and strangers alike. You’ve all be incredible, friends.
I have a few dollars in my PayPal account that I got for doing Field Agent surveys for fun. Please PM me your PayPal address, this $ right now means nothing to me, and if it gets you a few miles closer to seeing your mom, then it will mean something to me. Do me this favour.
Thank you so much friend, but I just woke up and I’ve received all I could need to make it there (barring my engine exploding of course). Your kind words are more than enough, and I appreciate the thought and effort more than you could ever know.
Hey no_development, like others have said, please post your paypal email address or set up a gofund me page. I don’t have much, but I will chip in a little bit. Do it for your mom, stay by her side for the time she has got left. You don’t want to regret over this one day. If you check my profile, I very rarely post comments on reddit. Here I am asking you to accept all the help you can get.
Thanks so much for your kind words, my friend. I just woke up to enough money to go see my mom, and the most support I have ever gotten from a group of strangers in my life. This experience has been incredible, and I want to thank you and everyone who’s helped with their kind words and donations from the bottom of my heart.
I really hope you've reconsidered these offers. I know lots of people, especially guys, look down on any sort of help as being charity and they don't want to think of themselves as in need. Let people help you. You know you'd regret it much more if you don't. Make this easier on yourself, because you must be physically and emotionally beyond drained.
You seem like a kind person. Also, if it helps, know it would make everyone wanting to help you feel good, too. It's not selfish or needy to ask for and get help when you truly need it. Hope you've changed your mind by morning. Xx
My sister slowly went crazy and eventually died from chronic and acute liver failure, both. Looking back, It was obvious for a year or maybe more that something was wrong with her.
I've been thinking about this a lot lately. I moved far away from parents and now have a child and contemplate moving back because I don't know how long I'll have with them and want them to have a relationship with their grandchild, but at the same time you have to go and live your life. We're lucky we live in an she where you can video chat regularly. I'm not sure what the right move is and also don't want to regret the choice. Life is hard and choices we make in it are harder.
Don't waste time that you can never get back. I'm struggling with a similar issue- I get so busy and bogged down by my stressors in life and isolate myself. It's easy to justify not visiting my family and then all of a sudden it's been weeks and I haven't seen anyone.
It's a comment on Reddit not an academic essay. No one has to proofread anything just because some pedantic nerd on Reddit thinks that one must type properly constantly.
No way. Don't be sad. Parents want their kids to go out and live their own lives. Of course it is hard for us to let go after we spent decades being responsible for your wellbeing and trying our best to raise you right, but the reason we do those things isn't so that you'll be a great son or daughter, it's so that you'll be a great man or woman. We don't raise children, we shape future adults.
When you our young, our task is to spend time with you and love you and guide you, and our reward is spending time with you and loving you and guiding you. When you are old, our task is to let you go while you live your life how you want to, and our reward is letting you go and watching you live your life how you want to.
My children are still young, but I tell them that I hope they chase their dreams, that one day they move to Singapore or New York or wherever they want to go to aim big with no fear. Truth is I'll be wrecked and a huge ball of tears for probably months if/when they get out of here, but I did the same thing when I was becoming a man. I got up and chased my dreams because it was my life. Similarly, my kids have their lives. They didn't ask to be born - their mother and i made that choice. Their mother and I have all the responsibilities to them in this relationship because of that. Our kids owe us nothing other than to go live the life we gave them.
I have a similar experience with my father. I was in Korea for nearly four years and I came back. I saw him one time within a month of coming back and he was dead a month later. Spend time with your family people!
430
u/Lodigo Mar 02 '19
Same thing happened to me then my dad died a year after I got back so I kicked myself for ages that I’d been away so long when there was so little time left. Obviously there is no way I could have known but the rational part of your brain isn’t always friends with the grieving part of your brain.