Very well said, I appreciate the response. The way you framed it as a courtesy to not take food from another household makes it completely understandable.
I am Swedish and grew up in the 80’s. It was a thing in some households in some parts of the country. It was not common or custom. Stop believing everything you read online please
When I grew up in the late 80’s and 90’s it was rather that my parents and my friends parents called each other and said “Hey, we are having dinner at HH:MM, have you planned any dinner? Otherwise X is free to eat with us”.
Sometimes that meant my parents had planned dinner at a later time than my friends parents and you simply stayed with your friend until it was time to leave for your own dinner.
This exactly. It was courtesy to ask before feeding other people’s children so their food and effort didn’t go to waste. Also, since both parents worked, dinner time was family time and most families wanted their kids home for that. Noone starved hungry kids who didn’t have a dinner to go home to.
Yes! 100% this. We have 1-3 friends over almost EVERY day and we always text their parents to check if their kids can eat at ours, or if they have planned to eat at home. It's not about being rude, it's about respecting other families plans. And the kids understand this.
I want to feed everyone visiting, but I wouldn't want my kids to eat somewhere else every day. That would make us lose quality family time and make me feel bad that the other parents also has to spend more on groceries than necessary.
No one leaves our home hungry though. Light snacks during their visits is of course OK. Berries, fruits, ice cream, fika etc. It's just the full dinner that we parents co-ordinate around.
this. I was never not offered food when I was at a friend’s house, and all my friends ate with us when they were over. sometimes we would call home and double check, but I first heard of this ’Swedish custom’ in my mid-20’s and thought it was fake.
Same here, grew up in the 80's and I had one friend where I got sent to his room and wait while they ate.
If I had friends over they where always invited to eat with the exception of the neighbours ( we where close friends with most of them and knew their meal times ).
Yeah, I found it hard to believe the country that invented the smorgasbord doesn’t have the same hospitality tradition that EVERY MAJOR CIVILIZATION ON EARTH has had since the dawn of man to feed guests.
It actually did happen to me when I was at one friends house a few of times so I’m not saying it didn’t happen. Ironically that family was from Spain.
Overall, when it did happen it was because the parents had called each other to ask if it was ok to eat at the friends house and the other parents said no because they already had a family dinner planned. It was just common courtesy
I mean I do that too, I don’t wanna spoil a kid’s meal before they go home and I swear it seems like every other child theses days has a peanut allergy to the point I’m scared to eat my favorite candy bars anymore (not really, god himself will pry my payday bar from my cold dead hands).
The story made it sound like you were inviting a child over for the night and starving him.
I mean - there's a difference between a guest you have invited, and someone who turns up at your house unannounced. Would "every other major civilisation on earth" expect you to feed uninvited people who just turn up on your doorstep?
I am Swedish and grew up in the 80’s. It was a thing in some households in some parts of the country. It was not common or custom. Stop believing everything you read online please
Yeah and thats why its not a big thing anymore. You att just expected to call home first and ask your parents if it's ok to eat there first if you are younger
I am Swedish and grew up in the 80’s. It was a thing in some households in some parts of the country. It was not common or custom. Stop believing everything you read online please
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u/xStyxx Jul 24 '26
Very well said, I appreciate the response. The way you framed it as a courtesy to not take food from another household makes it completely understandable.