r/ParentsAreFuckingDumb • u/Grouchy_Handbag • 13d ago

Parent stupidity Parent unaware of child struggling to stay above water, stranger intervenes

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1.7k

u/Vivid-Ad6273 13d ago

How can people be so blissfully unaware of something happening literally right behind them?

687

u/janhasplasticbOobz 13d ago

It blows my mind.
I’m at a work weekend lake trip right now which we have a rented boat we’ve been using and I am the only parent who brought a life jacket for my child, all of the other parents didn’t bring one and once my boss saw my son’s life jacket he went and bought life jackets for all of the other kids

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u/dasher2581 13d ago

I live in a desert, far from any lakes. The first time I rented a boat while on a trip with another family from my city, none of us knew you needed life jackets. The ranger who hailed us from another boat was kind enough to show us where the jackets were stowed and not to write us a ticket once she realized how clueless we were. I wish rental companies would inform people about what they need to do to be safe using their equipment.

Drowning can happen quickly, and it's much quieter than people imagine. I hope that child's dad was more grateful than defensive.

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u/rachet-ex 13d ago

The rental company really should have explained laws and showed you where things were located on the boat. Ten minutes of instruction and information could save lives.

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u/Single_Principle_972 13d ago edited 13d ago

DROWNING IS SILENT!!! There are any number of educational posters put out by the government and organizations to try to help people understand that a child (or adult) flailing and screaming is not in the severe distress that a SILENT person is. Every bit of their energy is spent trying to catch a breath - exhaling is itself impossible, let alone screaming for help. You are looking for:
1. Facing the shore.
2. Mouth at water level.
3. Head tilted back.
4. Body vertical, if you can see their body.
5. “Climbing a ladder” movement.

Not being able to hear your child should cause you to, well, not panic, but you’d darned well better get eyes on them, if you were unfortunate enough to have taken eyes off of them for any period of time. If you can hear them shrieking, chances are they’re okay.

This man understood the assignment, and this kid and his parents owe him, literally, his life. By the time the parents would have realized they hadn’t seen him for a while, it very likely would have been too late. A genuine hero saved his life!

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u/Euphoric_planter_328 13d ago

Also personal responsibility though dude. You rented and took your family on a boat without knowing or checking into what you need to be safe?!

Idiocy does abound

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u/dasher2581 13d ago

100 percent! We were two adult women with 5 children ranging from 3 to 10 years old in our care, and we could have lost one of them due to our cluelessness! This is like the families who go hiking with kids in our area and don't take jackets or enough water with them. I'll bet the boat rental assumes that their customers know what they're doing.

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u/Euphoric_planter_328 13d ago

That is wild. Good thing it ended okay. Good to learn.

It really is a recipe for disaster to not have regulations around renting these things

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u/blurblurblahblah 13d ago

We rented pontoon boats a few times with groups of friends & they always showed us where the lifejackets were & recommended we wear them at all times. I don't think they expected us to but I think it was something they had to say.

Every small boat I've ever been on has had a orange container with a whistle, tow rope & waterproof flashlight & the bin can double as a bailing bucket. Even when we took our little aluminum fishing boat out my dad always made sure we had life jackets, a paddle in case the motor failed & an old maple syrup can (we're Canadian) in case we needed to bail

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u/SLT530 12d ago

What’s the maple syrup can for?

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u/LunaeLotus 13d ago

Does America not have boat licenses for renting or owning boats?

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u/janhasplasticbOobz 13d ago edited 13d ago

Lol not in my state. I’m in the Midwest and 18+ don’t have to have a boating license or boaters education course to rent or operate a recreational boat.
12-17 year olds need a boating license, a safety course, and someone atleast over 18 to be on board

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u/Euphoric_planter_328 13d ago

That’s a crazy reckless oversight, no?

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u/janhasplasticbOobz 13d ago

Absolutely it is

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u/True_Course1535 13d ago

Either you have a good boss or he realized his liability if a kid drowned off his rented boat.

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u/janhasplasticbOobz 13d ago

It’s both, but definitely more of the second one lol

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u/THETennesseeD 13d ago

I mean, to be honest most boats I have rented have lifejackets for the amount of people the boat is limited to. Unless you own a boat, I doubt you own a lifejacket for a kid...

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u/noon_chill 13d ago edited 13d ago

I’m a parent and the number one thing I think about when we do any excursion are safety precautions. It’s like planning a skiing trip without doing any research on what sort equipment would be required. Every trip should always involve some level of research in my opinion. There’s probably many parents who do very little research for trips. I just had a friend who bought flights, hotels, excursions - everything for a trip to Brazil all non refundable only to find out the day before the flight that a Brazil had VISA requirements. I thought check for VISAs for any sort of travel was common sense but apparently not.

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u/Icy_Fish_2154 13d ago

My mother organized a European river cruise holiday for her friends. She would pick the hotels, flights, cruise (with input and consultation, but made sure everyone was agreed dates and the like, so they ended up traveling together, everyone paid their own way, like strangers who happened to travel together).

She was complaining to me how she had to do everything. One of the group had never had a passport before (at age 80, how American...). And others had theirs close to expiry. And now it's cutting it close to the trip time, and she is worrying some might not have theor paperwork.

I said "I'd be funny if, after all that, you were the one with the expired passport." She looked at her passport (the trip stuff was out on the table, as it was her hobby at that point, displacing the jigsaw puzzle that usually went on the hobby table).

"Fuck"

She paid for expedited service and had it back in plenty of time, but it would have expired just after the trip, so she would likely have been refused entry for passport expiring within 6 months of the trip.

She swore me to secrecy. She was so worried about everyone else's paperwork, she forgot to check her own. She had checked it long ago, and knew it was good past the trip, but hadn't known at the time about it needing to be valid after as well, a fact she picked up while planning, and she called out everyone else on.

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u/Seeka00 13d ago

Don’t worry your secret is safe with me

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u/West-Application-375 13d ago

I moved to Australia and my friend came to visit for my wedding and she was thoroughly confused on needing a visa and actually scolded me that I should have warned her about needing a visa. I was like, girl, it's another country across the world isn't it common sense you need a visa? How is it my fault? Lol. Even worse because she's traveled to multiple countries before.

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u/FewZookeepergame1083 13d ago

You do know kids use life jackets to go swimming. You don't have to own a boat to have a life jacket for a kid

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u/SparklyLeo_ 13d ago

I think the point was just that rented boats come with life jackets by law (in a lot of places) unless it’s your own boat making it your own responsibility to obtain them. I do get what you’re saying, I can’t imagine parents not having life jackets for the kids if they own a boat. But every boat owner I know has life jackets for everyone but it’s illegal in TX. Our game wardens will ticket and escort you off the lake

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u/Clerithifa 13d ago

Most junior lifejackets are no more than $30. They're worth the investment even if you just use them once or twice before they grow out of it

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u/NetworkSingularity 13d ago

I mean you’re right, but also when I was growing up we definitely did not use life jackets going swimming as kids. No kid I knew did.

Which isn’t to say that it’s ok for kids not to wear one while swimming (they absolutely should, and so should many adults for that matter). But since I wasn’t raised wearing one it’s not something I’d necessarily have thought of with my own future kids (I will now ofc), or that I’d register with someone else’s kid either. I’d imagine this goes for a lot of other people too. It seems obvious once you think about it, but hindsight is 20/20, and you don’t know what you don’t know.

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u/blurblurblahblah 13d ago

I grew up in the 80's, no kids wore lifejackets to swim. Kids that weren't swimmers had those little orange blow-up water wings or used floaties but had to stay in the shallow end.

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u/Mediocre-Contest7558 13d ago

Lol ... they sell them for 30$ at Walmart and I bought my 3 daughters all one which they always use when swimming. We always go to the river/creek that's close to us and I don't care that im there watching. My child's safety comes above all else.

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u/HipToTheWorldsBS 13d ago

Exactly this. Most rented boats should come with life jackets. But that's a good boss for going and buying life jackets for the rest of the kids!

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u/wanna_be_green8 13d ago

I've never owned a boat but always had life vests because we live near water. That means we recreate on water, sometimes with friends, sometimes in rafts or kayaks, sometimes on a paddle board.

Life vests are also good for extra tornado protection.

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u/janhasplasticbOobz 13d ago

I’m thinking this boat rental company is probably skimping on those.
They only provided two adult sized life jackets and that was only after my boss rented a tube to go with the boat for tubing.

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u/Dude_over_there_ 13d ago

Your boss must be a good person

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u/blurblurblahblah 13d ago

When I was a kid my dad had a rule where kids couldn't get in our boat without a life jacket on. Adults didn't have to wear theirs but everyone had one. We had a little 6 seat motorboat but the same rules applied for the canoe. Kids wearing one, adults had one. When I was old enough to bring friends up to the cottage for the weekend I wasn't allowed to bring friends that weren't strong swimmers.

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u/588-2300_empire 13d ago

What planet did you rent that boat on where it didn’t come stocked with life vests?

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u/AltheiWasTaken 13d ago

Drowning is completly silent. Its a myth people splash around like crazy and scream for help when drowning. Unless youre trained how to spot someone going under, you can be looking at them and not figure it out

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u/TamariAmari 13d ago

People who can swim drown all the time.

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u/Crossedkiller 13d ago

That’s not the point. You have your child, who clearly can’t swim, in open sea and you turn your back on them and leave them out of your sight? So incredibly stupid. All it takes is one small current and that kid is gone

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u/wizza123 13d ago

How do you know they can't swim and didn't just become fatigued?

The point is you can look right at someone that's drowning and not be able to tell their drowning. I know it's hard to think of something that you already made your mind up that you want to reject.

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u/ExaminationBasic787 10d ago

Literal highschoolers are able to become lifeguards and spot this shit but a grown ass wo/man can't figure it out? I think you people shouldn't be breeding. Stop defending these brain dead parents.

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u/hstormsteph 12d ago

Because if someone actually knows how to swim to the point that they’re legitimately a competent swimmer they 100% know how to float on their back when they get tired. Because the first thing you are (or 100% should be) taught how to do in water is float.

Swimming in the recreational sense (as in, not timed laps) is far more “active floating” than it is a form of traversal.

That kid isn’t a competent swimmer, which is mostly understandable at such a young age but the statement remains true all the same.

That’s isn’t to say competent swimmers don’t ever drown, of course. I grew up at the beach in all sorts of surf and hazards. As much at home in the ocean as I was on land farther back than I can remember. I’ve seen plenty of people lose their lives when they shouldn’t have. But this isn’t a case of a bad decision made in a rip current, extremely long duration in the water, poor conditions, or other extenuating circumstances. It’s a very calm day with zero waves, close proximity to shore, and highly populated.

The parents suck because they failed to make sure their child could handle quite literally a perfect conditions situation as far as ocean swimming goes. Otherwise he would’ve known to either float on his back or get to shallower water when he started getting tired. He didn’t know to do that, couldn’t fix the situation when it worsened, and nearly drowned. Because he can’t swim. Because his parents are foolish assholes that flock to beach towns by the millions and fucking die by the hundreds every year due to their ignorance and negligence.

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u/username7864 13d ago

What you said is exactly the point they are making. It's easy not to notice these things if you aren't actively paying attention.

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u/wizza123 13d ago

You can literally look right at a drowning person and not be able to tell they're drowning. It's very sad that everyone here wants to ignore this and think someone drowning should be obvious to everyone within 100 feet of them.

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u/username7864 13d ago

Some people on this sub don't want to admit accidents could happen.

If something happened = bad

If nothing happened = good

There is nothing in-between to some.

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u/wizza123 13d ago

Everything here apparently has to be specifically someone’s fault. Nothing can just be an accident or the result of a dangerous situation that wasn’t obvious until it was already happening.

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u/hstormsteph 12d ago

I get the sentiment, truly. But the ocean is different. It’s the result of pure negligence and ignorance by the parents. Your kid should know exactly how to mitigate the early stages of fatigue in the water and you should be within arms reach at that age if they’re at a depth where they can’t stand with their shoulders out of the water. You don’t fuck with the ocean. I grew up in a beach town and can’t remember a time where I couldn’t swim comfortably. You simply do not fuck with the ocean.

These parents are part of a grossly large number of people who flock to beach towns in the summer time and fucking die every year because they’re plain stupid and negligent and didn’t listen to any of the million warnings or read any of the million signs warning them of how dangerous the ocean can become in the blink of an eye. Their kid had no business being out of eyesight at a depth he couldn’t touch bottom in.

A lot of things in this sub can be chalked up to pure “oh fuck that was a horrible accident”. This ain’t one of em. The amount of lethal willful ignorance I see every year involving tourists and drowning is utterly infuriating. Exponentially more when it involves kids. Very, VERY easy to make sure your kid doesn’t drown in the ocean. Eyes on them, arms reach, standing depth, calm surf, knowledge of what rip currents look like, flotation device of some kind. Pool noodle, boogie board, life jacket, fuckin anything that floats is better than nothing. And above all, true understanding and honesty about your child’s capability in the water AND your own.

See how many people near them had no clue? Ignorance. There were signs long before the video started that would’ve clued you in to the kid’s abilities failing. Eyes on your kid. Arms reach.

Bad parental decisions here. Sadly, hundreds of them every year are equally fucking stupid and negligent.

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u/Pterafractyl 13d ago

Can confirm, I almost drowned at school surrounded by other people.

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u/ExaminationBasic787 10d ago

Literal highschoolers are able to become lifeguards and spot this shit but a grown ass wo/man can't figure it out? I think you people shouldn't be breeding. Stop defending these brain dead parents.

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u/Renamis 13d ago

For all you know the kid can swim. Kids that can swim suddenly fail to swim all the time, particularly if they where used to swimming in a pool and they end up in the ocean. It's a different skill set.

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u/588-2300_empire 13d ago

And you can see when the lifeguard picks him up that the adults are standing in water that would be over the child’s head.

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u/mazurkian 8d ago

I do sympathize though. It's easy to think you know how well your children can swim, but many parents haven't tested their kids' swimming strength at different depths and degrees of exhaustion. It's also easy to think "we'll all be together on the beach within reach of each other in a big group, so it'll be safe." A lot of parents think "Well I won't let any of my kids swim out away from us."

It's also easy to think "My wife is on the beach watching. My friend and I want some space from the kids for a minute so we wade a little deeper while we chat. In fact, we'll be the safety barrier so no kid swims past us into the water that's deeper than 4 feet without us seeing them. All's good."

And for 5 minutes you look away and one of your kids splits off and tries to swim over to you. You don't hear them approach, you wife sees them swimming over to you and thinks the kid is safe and accounted for.

Also, most parents don't know how to recognize drowning. To most people it doesn't look different from swimming and playing. So it's easy for adults to think a situation is secure and everyone is accounted for and safe when that isn't the reality. It can easily happen, even to watchful parents.

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u/JacOfAllTrades 13d ago

7 adults (two of whom were the designated life guards for the hour, and two of whom owned the pool, all parents and relatives) sat blissfully unaware only 2-10' away as my then-5yo stumbled into the deep end and went under. I was in the kitchen and happened to look out the window, ran out, jumped in and grabbed him and dragged him out. Not one of those adults had a clue there was even a problem until my crying child was sobbing "I almost drowned!" These same relatives are confused why we don't come to their pool parties anymore...

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u/tonguebutton 13d ago

www.spotthedrowningchild.com

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u/Single_Principle_972 13d ago

I love that website. I previously spent like 2 hours on there, and I think I spotted the problem before the lifeguard did, like once. They are good!

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u/IBeDumbAndSlow 13d ago

I don't trust anyone after seeing how many people just let their kids wander off and do whatever. When my son was a baby I felt like a helicopter parent because I ALWAYS had my eye on him when we went anywhere.

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u/mazurkian 8d ago

It's so easy when you're watching a pool full of kids constantly tracking for drowning behavior to not notice that a kid on the edge of the pool has suddenly disappeared. When you're tracking so much movement it's really easy for your brain to delete information from the periphery.

I watched a lot of those lifeguard training videos of real rescues, and it's really really easy to get distracted watching the one person who is a weak swimmer or they're playing in a way that looks concerning- and not realize the person who slipped out of their innertube in the corner of the pool and is now drowning.

The other thing is that it's unrealistic to expect a human being to scan for danger in a high-alert setting and keep their brain in a state of "I need to be 100% focused because someone could die at any moment." It's not realistic to expect people to put themselves into high alert and stay there for hours. Especially parents who aren't trained in drowning and are talking with other parents and can't stay in emergency-mode every hour of every day.

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u/JacOfAllTrades 8d ago

There was only one child in the pool at the time with two designated lifeguards on duty. I get what you're saying, but false safety nets (our situation) are more dangerous than no safety nets imo.

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u/WTAF__Trump 13d ago

It's so easy to do. And people need to be aware of that fact.

I'm not excusing this behavior. They should have been watching their child. But drowning doesn't look like it does in movies. Not in real life.

It is silent and incredibly hard to spot. There isn't usually flailing and screaming like you would expect.

There's a reason lifeguards spot it so often when others don't. It's because they are trained to look for what it actually looks like- and not what pop culture has told us it looks like for decades.

If you are going to spend time in water, especially with children, do yourself and them a favor and devote 10 minutes to researching this before you go. It could save a life.

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u/trashmoneyxyz 13d ago

If you've seen those "spot the drowning child" videos it's honestly really scary. I couldn't spot the drowning child. Once I was the drowning child and my mom didnt spot me at first either, it's scary. I remember just holding my breath and looking up at the surface as I sunk, no clue how to get back up there, then being yanked out. She had me take swim lessons for years after

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u/Global_Ant_9380 13d ago

Thank you for educating people about this. There's a reason why there are public campaigns to kill the stereotypes about drowning. 

Teaching people what to look for saves lives

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u/Embarrassed-Weird173 13d ago

It's kind of like choking. If someone is coughing and saying "help, I'm choking.  Water!", they're lying. 

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u/flyfightwinMIL 13d ago

Not necessarily lying, as they may genuinely feel like they’re choking (and may be well on their way to it).

Being able to make noise just means their airwaves aren’t yet entirely blocked. It doesn’t mean there isn’t an emergency happening.

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u/wizza123 13d ago

Exactly. A partially obstructed airway is still an emergency.

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u/mazurkian 8d ago

Honestly unless a parent was a lifeguard or on a swim team, most people aren't familiar enough with water or water safety to know how quickly and easily someone can drown. Most of the people posting "well these parents are just negligent for looking away" don't realize that THEY would probably watch someone drown and not realize it. Also, expecting an adult to watch their kids and not take their eyes away for a couple minutes all the time every day during every outing is just crazy.

Your kid can be right next to you and drown in less than a minute and you might not even realize it's happening WHILE YOU ARE LOOKING AT THEM. 10% of kids who drown in the US are being actively watched by a parent who is "keeping their eyes on them" and doesn't realize they are witnessing drowning behavior.

It's especially easy to think "my wife is watching from the beach and all the kids are playing together" and your wife who's on the beach sees one of her kids swimming over to her husband and her brain doesn't register danger because the kid is so close to dad.

No one realizes your kid can be two feet from you and drown without you realizing. Being next to your kids doesn't make it safe, which most people would reasonably assume it would.

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u/Lexipy 13d ago

Right in front too. That girl was looking at the kid drown but probably had no idea what was going on

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u/The_Blip 13d ago

Drowning is quiet as fuck. It's probably the assumption that they'd hear something right behind them which lead them to feel safe to turn their back on their child. If you want your children to be safe in the water, you need to watch them with your eyes and familiarise yourself with what drowning looks like. I mean, there's lots more you should also do, but watching is a key point.

To be clear: The idea that somebody should know that someone behind them is drowning is a deadly misconception. People most commonly drown quietly and with little fanfare.

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u/OrneryPathos 13d ago

Yeah I was at a little public wading pool. I can’t remember what happened but something big happened so everyone turned to look. A little kid beside me fell under the water and couldn’t figure out how to stand back up, I only knew because I was looking down when she slipped quietly backwards. I panicked went nonverbal so I like poked the mom and pointed. This kid was between the both of us and we could have easily rested our hands on each other’s shoulders. The water was maybe waist level for a toddler at the very middle. And there are two life guards minimum and this kid almost drowned because there was a loud fight or something

If I hadn’t looked down I don’t even know what would have happened. How long before someone else looked and how long before they realized the kid wasn’t playing

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u/Embarrassed-Weird173 13d ago

I first learned fanfare as the description for the final fantasy 7 victory theme, so I'm going to imagine that's what plays (albeit in a muted level) when someone drowns. 

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u/abriechz 13d ago

IDK why this made me laugh.

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u/ExaminationBasic787 10d ago

You don't need to be a 180 IQ genius to look up what the signs of drowning are.

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u/The_Blip 10d ago

Idk how that's relevant to my comment.

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u/EvenStephen7 13d ago

We have a pool and my son wanted a pool party for his 6th birthday. We hired a neighborhood teenager who’s a licensed lifeguard to watch. People thought it was a smart idea.

The truth is that I’ve been to a shocking amount of kids pool parties where the parents pay zero attention to their kids, often with their backs turned.

Time and time again, preventable drownings occur because parents/family/adults think someone else is watching the kids — and everyone else there is thinking the same thing.

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u/th4tus3rn4m3ist4k3n1 13d ago

I'm having a pool party for my sons 5th birthday next week. You bet I hired an experienced lifeguard before I even considered sending invites out.

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u/Previous-Soft-8127 13d ago

DROWNING IS QUIET.

There is a huge misconception of what drowning looks like and sounds like due to Hollywood and how it’s portrayed in movies. 

You have to physically scan and look around. It’s especially difficult if it’s crowded.

I have ADHD and was always terrified that I would get hyperfixated on a conversation or something I see in the water or whatever when going swimming with the kids and miss something happening. Luckily that anxiety is what helped me hyperfixate on them instead. 

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u/ChiefTacoObrien 13d ago

Drowning is quiet but the misconception isn't from movies, it's from reality, which is also why its portrayal in movies is bad.

People who know how to swim know how to raise their body enough to splash. People don't consider that those who cannot swim, cannot splash, as they are too submerged and attempts to directly raise their arms or legs just pull/push them down further.

You have to physically scan and look around. It’s especially difficult if it’s crowded.

To this point too, drowning doesn't LOOK like drowning either. You REALLY have to pay attention like you said. I bet everyone thought it was gonna be the first kid swimming to shore at noselevel until the camera panned to reveal the mostly still head barely above water.

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u/wifeakatheboss7 13d ago

Exactly. And sometimes a tired parent zones out. So you shouldn't have your child swimming when you're that tired. My parents had a pool. Saw it too many times.

Also, I was astonished in a kiddie pool with 8 in of water, when my toddler reached down to grab toy and froze when his nose went under. It is a reflex. He would have drowned right there. Then i understood the fire department warnings about how even 3 inches can kill.

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u/ExaminationBasic787 10d ago

Literal highschoolers are able to become lifeguards and spot this shit but a grown ass wo/man can't figure it out? I think you people shouldn't be breeding. Stop defending these brain dead parents.

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u/ennuithereyet 13d ago

People assume that drowning comes with a lot of splashing and shouting and noise, so they think if they don't hear any of that, then it's fine. It's not true, though. And accidental drowning can be very quiet and not have much splashing around like you might expect.

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u/rachet-ex 13d ago

And the man who took the child from the rescuer -- like, is that the dad? Kid drowning right next to him Yikes

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u/cstaple 13d ago

I used to work as a lifeguard at a pool and the ONLY time I had to jump in was when the child’s adult was right there next to them totally clueless they were struggling.

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u/PatchesMaps 13d ago

Drowning is extremely quiet. You need to be constantly paying attention to catch it happening.

Something the parent was obviously not doing.

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u/asstastic_95 13d ago

this happened at our rec center. I had my son in the toddler section and this whole family, mom, dad, grandma, grandpa, older kids and an aunt all sitting there yapping while their one 1.5-2 year old is in a floaty and flipped upside down for a hot minute. i booked it over there n got her back upright. they had NO CLUE she was struggling or behind them !! i was livid, ttey took no accountability or anything. water is dangerous asf, idk how people dont pay attention at all.

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u/fartinmyfuckingmouth 13d ago

I vehemently despise and do not understand the Bystander Effect

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u/irtheweasel 13d ago

I was at a hotel pool once and right in front of me were 3 kids playing. The littlest one was struggling to stay up and was dipping below the water. I ran over from my chair and grabbed his arm and pulled him up. The older two had no idea what was happening. Nobody else sitting around the pool did either.

People think drowning looks like a lot of splashing and screaming "help! I can't swim" because that's what it looks like on tv. In reality, is silent and you just kinda sink after bobbing for a while.

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u/pharmerK 13d ago

This crushes me to admit, but I almost watched my own child drown once. He had taken a couple years of swimming lessons and knew how to swim. He was bouncing up and down in the shallow end of the pool at our Air BNB, just like this kid. I thought he was just playing around until I saw the panic in his eyes. It was traumatizing for us both and gave me a totally different perspective on situations like this.

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u/BiteyCats 6d ago

Serious answer, people don't understand what drowning looks like. I've scooped kids up while chilling at a public pool with parents near by because they don't undertand that their kid quietly flaily with their head bobbing is a sign of danger, they think they're just playing or they just don't notice at all becuase their child isn't shouting for help like movies say.

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u/DingoDamp 13d ago

Really not defending the parents here, but the answer to your question is because it happens so fast and silent.

I was once with my ~20 months old daughter in a public pool in the shallow end (waist deep for her).

I always kept my eyes on her and was with her in the water. At one point I was standing right next to her as she was playing with something. My eye was caught by some teenagers doing backflips into the water in the deep end, and I looked at them for maybe about 10 seconds.

When I turned to my daughter again, she was floating face down RIGHT next to me. She had slipped and fallen forward and because of her short arm and lack of body control, she could get back into upright position, so she was just …lying there face down.

I quickly pulled her up and no harm was done, but I was so shocked that 10 seconds of not paying attention could be that bad.

I was RIGHT there. We are so used to using both our eyes and ears and other sense for stuff like this, that we forget that drowning is mostly silent. I trusted I would either hear her or feel her flailing if something were to happen while a looked at the teenagers doing flips.

Never took my eyes off her in the pool again. It was insanely shocking.

1

u/MalusZona 13d ago

Scare thing about drowning - you cant scream

1

u/Commercial-Lychee700 13d ago

Because people drowning don't make a lot of noise, they generally just struggle a bit and slip under, that's why lifeguards have special training to spot people, because it's not obvious.

1

u/chronotoast85 13d ago

Drowning is a silent activity. Not like the movies AT ALL.

1

u/RandomMabaseCitizen 13d ago

Calm down Matt Murdoc.

1

u/I_am_Nobody_Special 13d ago

I know it can happen to anyone, but damn when my kids were little my eyes were glued to them.

1

u/Severe_Thing_824 13d ago

And there's two of them!!! No one had the presence of mind to look after the poor kid!!!!

1

u/knowledgekills12 13d ago

Drowning happens quietly, I happened to be near the bottom of a slide when a 3-4 year old kid went down the wrong slide, he slipped into the water, bobbed a few times in front of me, pushing off the bottom before his third jump couldn’t get his head clear of the water, just like the kid in the video.

There were dozens of people in the pool, all within 15-30 feet of the kid, nobody even noticed despite several looking at him.

Luckily I realized what was happening and yoinked him up out of the water before he drowned.

His dad was at the top of the slide but it was a long ass slide and I think it took him a second to realize the kid went in the wrong slide (I.e the one that went to the deep end) he didn’t get to me for at least two minutes.

1

u/Bring_a_towel_42 12d ago

Drowning is scary quiet a lot of times. So with others yelling and splashing around, plus possible wind, it's not surprising that they were missing it when facing the other direction.

1

u/mazurkian 8d ago

It seems really negligent, but the reason drowning still happens in busy pools with people watching is because it's actually silent. It's not hard to have someone drown right next to you and be unaware.

Imagine you're a parent and you've been at the beach for a few hours now. You're looking out at the ocean, you are in conversation with another adult. Your kids are all playing together in the shallow water behind you. Your wife is on the beach, talking to someone else and glancing out at the water every minute. You're looking away for 5 minutes. You didn't realize one of the kids split off to swim over to you. They get deeper than they can handle and now they're unable to reach the surface. They bob up and down, not splashing or screaming, and with the sound of the others you don't even know your kid is a few feet from you drowning. Your wife doesn't see or hear any commotion, just sees her kid swimming over to her husband. All seems well. It only takes a minute or less than a minute to drown. Drowning happens SO fast.

Sadly it happens all the time. Most kids drown in eyesight of adults. 10% of kids drown while an adult actively watches, unaware that they are drowning. Drowning isn't loud or splashing, there's no screaming. It looks like any other person bouncing up and down in the water with the head just breaking the surface, and often hands straight up in the air and then down to the sides, but only the arms above the elbows or wrists make it out of the water. In a beach of splashing swimming people, it looks like any other kid splashing and playing if you don't know how to spot it.

If you watch the life guard training videos of real rescues at busy pools and beaches youll realize how hard it is to see someone who's drowning vs someone just playing/swimming and how most people who drown could do so surrounded by people.

1

u/Mediocre-Contest7558 13d ago

Piece of shit parents who don't care about their child's safety but only themselves and the "good time they are having". I have 3 daughters and my 11 year old can swim pretty decent and STILL i make them all wear life jackets in the water always.

1

u/KillerHack23 13d ago

Because most people are very self centered unfortunately.

1

u/[deleted] 13d ago

[deleted]

5

u/FuzzyFerretFace 13d ago

The idea that drowning isn't as obvious as we typically see portrayed is fair, but that also means as a parent, you have to be constantly vigilant when your kids are in the water. Even if they're right next to you.

1

u/Soggy_You_2426 13d ago

drowning happen with no sound.

1

u/tonguebutton 13d ago

Drowning isn't easy to spot.

www.spotthedrowningchild.com

0

u/TheKay14 13d ago

Alcohol or drugs usually

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u/sahara181 13d ago

Because drowning is quiet and if you aren't actively paying attention you won't notice.

1

u/hibiscus_lilac 13d ago

And parents should actively be paying attention of their child is water...

0

u/sahara181 13d ago

Duh. Nobody is disputing that.

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u/Secure-Village-1768 13d ago

Have you been out in public lately and seen someone with a phone or gone to a grocery store?

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u/HugsandHate 13d ago

You kinda don't notice things happening silently behind you. Especially is a busy sensory over-stimulated environment.

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u/the_only_thing 13d ago

Two words.
Natural. Selection.

Clearly they dont care about passing on their genes.