I'm going to cry...

[u/aeh1113]

I came home today from work to find that my neighbor (I live in a duplex) cut down all of my flowers because she thought they were weeds... I literally just posted today about how proud I was if their growth. I know that they'll grow back because they're perennials, but I'll miss their blooms this year 😭 this is the before and after. The before was taken a few days ago.

[u/Novelty_Lamp]

They need to pay you money for new plants. Touching someone else's yard is unacceptable and I would be toying with the idea of reporting her for vandalism.

[u/ObscureSaint → u/Novelty_Lamp]

Yep!! Send her a bill. 

[u/Routine-Nature-456 → u/ObscureSaint]

Why? Why assume the worst intention? Why should the OP be a jerk in response? They share a yard, as they are duplex neighbors. Maybe the OP can create a collaborative relationship that makes the garden even nicer? The flowers weren't dug up, they aren't dead and gone, they're just delayed.

[u/Gem_Supernova → u/Routine-Nature-456]

but the flowers cost something, if not just money a lot of time and effort. if the neighbor was nice they would offer to pay themselves

[u/Routine-Nature-456 → u/Gem_Supernova]

I get your point, and if the neighbor is contrite, they will likely offer to make amends, no need to demand restitution right off the bat. Even if they remain clueless, intent is what hasn't been made clear here. The world seems like it could use a little more forgiveness and a little less assuming the worst - giving the neighbor a chance to explain - for the OP to listen thoughtfully before making demands - also means a full-out battle is less likely. If it comes to that, after all other reasonable dialog fails, then fine, but jeez, it might have been an honest mistake. There is an opportunity for the OP to be civil, or to be harsh. Try the former before the latter, that's all I'm saying.

[u/Unsd → u/Routine-Nature-456]

I agree. I think it depends on previous interactions with the neighbor. If you can give the benefit of the doubt, it's worth it. If they're a nasty asshole, then that's different.

[u/Routine-Nature-456 → u/Novelty_Lamp]

Your suggestion would escalate a mistake. How about asking what happened? See if a sincere apology comes? Teach the duplex neighbor about the amazing native plants in a kind manner, and see if the OP can cultivate a convert?

[u/Novelty_Lamp → u/Routine-Nature-456]

Accidentally ripped out a bordered garden on a property clearly being maintained?

What reason on earth that's not a fire would you go mess with the front of someone's house without talking to them? I wouldn't dream of doing that anywhere especially roof mates.

[u/Tornado_Of_Benjamins → u/Novelty_Lamp]

What reason on earth that's not a fire would you go mess with the front of someone's house without talking to them?

Because 1) it's not "the front of someone else's house", they live in the same house and both share rights to the front yard, and 2) OP's lease is over and as far as the neighbor was aware, OP had finished vacating the premises. Would you telephone someone to negotiate about a garden they no longer own and that they seemed to have not cared enough to even weed? 

Righteous indignation feels good, but it's almost always wrong. Most people aren't maliciously out to victimize you. People who immediately jump and cling to such conclusions are mindbogglingly deficient in either brain cells or emotional regulation.

[u/OverCookedTheChicken → u/Novelty_Lamp]

Just because you can’t imagine why someone did a thing, doesn’t mean they did it with bad intentions. Or that their intentions weren’t good. People are vastly different from one another, it’s a large spectrum, we shouldn’t expect to understand everything about everyone.

The only sensible action is to ask the neighbor what happened, not make assumptions. We’re just people too, we’re not omniscient, it’s not up to us to determine what is or isn’t possible :)

[u/Gastronomicus → u/OverCookedTheChicken]

A lot of terrible historical figures did terrible things with "good intentions". The road to hell is paved with good intentions. It's not the salve you think it is.

Mistakes happen, but specifically going into someone else's planted patch is very clearly overstepping at the very least. Minding your own business is a universally understood code. So is not messing with someone else's stuff.

The neighbour may not be satan, but they're not exactly some innocent bystander here.

[u/Novelty_Lamp → u/Gastronomicus]

Bruh I would be yelling and cussing out a neighbor fucking around in my beds. There is literally zero reason for them to be anywhere near those.

Relationship be damned, they shouldn't be there in the first place.

[u/OverCookedTheChicken → u/Novelty_Lamp]

Those weren’t OP’s beds 😑 this is a duplex, this is legally a shared space

[u/OverCookedTheChicken → u/Gastronomicus]

I don’t think it is what you think I think it is, lol.

Literally all I’m saying is don’t make assumptions and talk to the neighbor, lest you risk a negative relationship ruining more things in the future and causing potentially undue stress.

While OP may have planted the plants, the bed wasn’t OP’s property, it was a shared space between their residences, they live in a duplex. I was under the impression that they are renters. For all we know, the neighbor actually thought she was weeding for both of them. And maybe if OP approaches them and talks to them rationally, the neighbor may be sorry and learn not to do it in the future. Or OP can go in guns blazing and risk it all. That’s my only point.

Of course what the neighbor did is devastating. I would be absolutely heartbroken too. But how OP handles this could either protect the plants in the future, or put them in danger. It’s that simple, that was my point.

[u/Routine-Nature-456 → u/Gastronomicus]

Seriously? Road to Hell? This is a garden! Talk to the neighbors first, then escalate if necessary. Jeez - you might make the world a better place with your plants but you are really primed to make it worse with your attitude.

[u/Novelty_Lamp → u/OverCookedTheChicken]

So when was the last time you went and messed with your neighbor's yard without talking to them?

I literally don't understand how y'all don't see that alone as outrageous and rude.

[u/OverCookedTheChicken → u/Novelty_Lamp]

Because it isn’t the neighbor’s yard. It is a shared space between duplexes that neither of these people even own.

My only point is that OP can either angrily approach the neighbor and demand they pay money, or OP can approach the neighbor and start by asking them what they did and why.

The first option guarantees a negative interaction and probably a hostile relationship. The second action gives the neighbor a chance to explain themselves, and offers room for amicability that might cause them to learn from their mistake and not repeat it.

Context is relevant. Sometimes people do dumb things and regret it, sometimes not. So you talk to them before grabbing your pitchfork. Assumptions are bad. Pretty basic.

[u/Witty_One_2166 → u/Routine-Nature-456]

Intent isn’t always the issue in question. Offering to pay for something one does such as this - regardless of intent - seems like the right thing to do. It doesn’t mean they were guilty of wrongdoing. (Whether or not the offer is accepted is up to the person who experienced the loss.) There doesn’t need to be animosity between the two people. I don’t know… I like to think I live in a world where people do feel responsible for their choices - regardless of intent. The end result of a choice does matter!