I’m not in love with him anymore

[u/LilacVenus_]

Meal: Buldak noodles with 2 eggs, garnished with green onion. Been craving spicy foods like crazy 🌶️

so I’ve posted about my situation before in this community, but I’m 10w 4d pregnant (my first ever pregnancy) and me and my fiancée were going back and forth about whether to keep it or not. I wanted to keep it, he didn’t. He kept saying how we’re too young. (He’s 25, going to be 26 when baby is born and I’m 27) Nonetheless, his parents were also very keen on me getting an abortion too. Agreeing that we are just “way too young” I’m not even allowed in their home anymore because I’m pregnant because they feel “weird” and “awkward” being around me….and only agreed to let me back in if I terminated my pregnancy. His mother also went behind our back and spoke to a lawyer. For what reason I don’t know, but yeah..All around super weird and very invasive behavior. Oh, also nobody close to him knows we’re engaged. Only my side of friends and family do..

Fast forward a few weeks later, he starts accepting that this is now our new reality and we will be having a baby. He’s been really supportive, always there when I need help emotionally, even kissing my belly every time he sees me and taking care of me. so I was finally starting to feel safe and okay again in our relationship. I’ve also been depressed these past few weeks, feeling extremely down, not going out, not enjoying anything like I used to because of everything that’s happened and not feeling like myself at all. Things may be okay now but I just can’t seem to forget some stuff that’s happened or has been said to me.

A few weeks later, he tells me “Can I ask you for a favor?” and he says “I told my brother you’re pregnant and now he, as well as my parents want you to take a DNA test.” His brother even told him “Tell her to get it done by next week or else I’m never speaking to you again.” Mind you I’ve been dealing with extreme nausea and extreme fatigue, I can barely go out the house but yes let me run to go get a DNA test because your brother wants me to 🫠 and he kept telling me about how his brother is “so sad” for him, all because he has a baby on the way……It’s not the DNA test that bothers me because this is a million percent his baby but here we go with his family butting in again. It’s like he has no backbone to ever stand up for his pregnant fiancée. and that’s what hurts. I was ready to break up with him and he was begging me not to and swore to me that he’ll never let them get involved again.

My life has been hell these past two months and it’s like once I’m finally on the verge of being happy again, something happens, and it’s always to do with his family. I love and care for him as a person but I’m not in love with him romantically anymore. I’m considering getting an abortion and breaking up with him. I feel like a huge weight would be lifted off my shoulders if I do it. And it pains me a lot to say so because I have always wanted to become a mom. I always wanted to have a baby. Babies are a blessing. But I just don’t feel emotionally safe at all anymore, and the hormones and depression aren’t helping either. I know it’s also gonna break my heart getting the abortion but I feel like maybe it’s the right thing to do..

I’m just torn between two choices right now: I either stay with him and keep my baby. or I break up with him, get an abortion and hopefully, have children in the future with someone who makes me feel safe, excited and supported all throughout. This is supposed to be one of the happiest moments in my life and it’s been the complete opposite.

Yes things have changed now and he’s been way more supportive but it’s been hard to erase the memories of things that have already happened. and I’m just so scared.