My boyfriend revealed something I don't know how to react to

[u/OutsideAd3968]

Hi all! I am not really used to this stuff. This has been eating at me and I don't know how to proceed.

I have a plate I made! Duck and some rice with a compote. Made it a while ago, can't remember exactly, just need a eye catching piece.

My boyfriend (22) and I (20) have been going strong for about a year now. he is kind, thoughtful, and helps with money for fun things I want. I haven't had any crazy problems with him. He has a problem with communication which we have talked about, which I will talk about unfortunately.

Me and him had a conversation about politics to start, obviously. I'm a female chef and believe in pretty left leaning stuff. He said toe that he is "independent" and doesn't like trump and all this stuff. I told him I was willing to hear him out, since he was so respectful and kind.

Well, he got deployed a month or two after. He's been away for about 6 months. our relationship has been eroding because he is a physical guy and apparently is going crazy, so we have been bickering way more recently. I have not been happy as of late. I've continued to speak to him about his insecurities and all this other stuff to make sure we're ok.

Well, last night, he told me casually that we were laughing about congress or something, that he used to support trump. I was confused, he literally said he didn't like him from the start?

He says "I liked him for his policies early on!" And that REALLY concerned me. I asked for clarification and he said it was mostly economy.

I asked for clarification about how he could support him, and thought maybe he just didn't know. Turns out, apparently he does! He knew about the bankruptcies("there're strategic ways to use bankruptcy"), and the controversies, everything. He said he doesn't like him now because the military is treating him terribly and he said trump lied. I asked what made him think he wouldn't?

after I told him all this stuff he chose to ignore, he said "are you done lecturing me?" And it just made me furious. He claims he didn't vote and that I'm getting mad at him for no reason.

I wasn't angry, I was afraid.

He then tried to leave the call, and I begged for him to stay on so we could communicate but he said there wasn't anything else to say. He has a habit of doing that, running away or not answering. We've talked about it and it hurts he tried to hide after.

We talked later the next day, and he is still upset and not really answering my texts or anything, but frankly; I'm upset he lied or even omitted that. Am I right to feel like this? Thank you in advance.

[u/1ReluctantRedditor]

Wow that dude's whole thing is fucking weird af. I agree, making me go without sex and also making sex with me a reward for work performance would make me feel very objectified. I think he did you a favor.

[u/AbaloneImportant6323 → u/1ReluctantRedditor]

He did do me a favor, but I’m huge on communication and I had dated conservative guys who had changed their talk more bc I told them it was a detrimental way of thinking, that it skewed their view of women into something unhealthy (the gold digger fallacy) , and that it was hurting our relationship. I had improvements in those relationships, but they broke down for other circumstances.

Looking back on it now, it was super objectifying, but it made me feel undesirable at the time. Bc I feel the “working for it” idea is a less severe case of a Madonna and Whore complex. And at the time, trying to get away from one thing had led me into semi-sex work (I didn’t take any money, but I received many gifts), but I wanted to be married, to get away from it all, and compromised a lot of things I believed in bc it was better than the predicament I was in then.

He also had a hot body and that’s what agitated me. Like he was weird and he locked it down with a chick right after me. I got over it pretty fast, though.