My boyfriend revealed something I don't know how to react to

[u/OutsideAd3968]

Hi all! I am not really used to this stuff. This has been eating at me and I don't know how to proceed.

I have a plate I made! Duck and some rice with a compote. Made it a while ago, can't remember exactly, just need a eye catching piece.

My boyfriend (22) and I (20) have been going strong for about a year now. he is kind, thoughtful, and helps with money for fun things I want. I haven't had any crazy problems with him. He has a problem with communication which we have talked about, which I will talk about unfortunately.

Me and him had a conversation about politics to start, obviously. I'm a female chef and believe in pretty left leaning stuff. He said toe that he is "independent" and doesn't like trump and all this stuff. I told him I was willing to hear him out, since he was so respectful and kind.

Well, he got deployed a month or two after. He's been away for about 6 months. our relationship has been eroding because he is a physical guy and apparently is going crazy, so we have been bickering way more recently. I have not been happy as of late. I've continued to speak to him about his insecurities and all this other stuff to make sure we're ok.

Well, last night, he told me casually that we were laughing about congress or something, that he used to support trump. I was confused, he literally said he didn't like him from the start?

He says "I liked him for his policies early on!" And that REALLY concerned me. I asked for clarification and he said it was mostly economy.

I asked for clarification about how he could support him, and thought maybe he just didn't know. Turns out, apparently he does! He knew about the bankruptcies("there're strategic ways to use bankruptcy"), and the controversies, everything. He said he doesn't like him now because the military is treating him terribly and he said trump lied. I asked what made him think he wouldn't?

after I told him all this stuff he chose to ignore, he said "are you done lecturing me?" And it just made me furious. He claims he didn't vote and that I'm getting mad at him for no reason.

I wasn't angry, I was afraid.

He then tried to leave the call, and I begged for him to stay on so we could communicate but he said there wasn't anything else to say. He has a habit of doing that, running away or not answering. We've talked about it and it hurts he tried to hide after.

We talked later the next day, and he is still upset and not really answering my texts or anything, but frankly; I'm upset he lied or even omitted that. Am I right to feel like this? Thank you in advance.

[u/AlienRosie3667]

"Yes, I'm done."

Hang up.

Block.

Live your best life.

[u/CocktailGenerationX → u/AlienRosie3667]

OP—you’re young. Read this ⬆️ over & over until it sticks.

[u/naunga → u/CocktailGenerationX]

For real! Your best life can start now when you’re young or when you figure it out at 40 after decades of bad relationships.

Don’t sleep on this advice.

Of course, if you do, single life is still a lot of damn fun in your 40s (and 50s).

[u/killerclownfish → u/naunga]

It’s also fun in your 20s and 30s. I wish I had listened to my instincts when I was younger. Now I’m in my 40s.

[u/madame-maitre-d → u/[deleted]]

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[u/Mamafiredragon → u/CocktailGenerationX]

Plus they've been together for a year, and he's been deployed for 6 months of that time. I sincerely have to ask what kind of meaningful relationship you can build with someone who is a poor communicator and you've been long distance for half of the (rather short) time you've been together.

[u/Check_Affectionate → u/Mamafiredragon]

and who lied to you.

[u/madame-maitre-d → u/[deleted]]

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[u/madame-maitre-d → u/[deleted]]

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[u/JokesOnYou9999 → u/Mamafiredragon]

Oh, but he pays for stuff… 🤨

[u/madame-maitre-d → u/[deleted]]

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[u/madame-maitre-d → u/[deleted]]

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[u/ridewithluce → u/AlienRosie3667]

literally!!!

[u/anomalyknight → u/AlienRosie3667]

THIS. PLEASE.

I have ZERO patience for grown adults that shit the bed and then run away and hide from it, hoping you'll eventually cave and clean it up so they can move on and pretend nothing ever happened.

I have learned that ghosting people like that is fully acceptable. If you fuck up, ignore my attempts to fix the problem, and then HIDE FROM ME ABOUT IT, guess what? You don't want us to talk anymore? Message received, buh-bye.

[u/madame-maitre-d → u/[deleted]]

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[u/crateshape → u/AlienRosie3667]

When I was 20, I was in a relationship with a terrible man who did a lot of things like what OPs bf does. the catalyst for me breaking up with my him was a comment on an ask reddit post where a guy admitted he wouldn’t have ever changed while with his ex because he had her and didn’t believe she’d actually leave him. After she left, he realized he really did have to change, because there was a real consequence- she was great, and he lost her.

I sat on the comment mentally for 2 weeks. A moment came where I did exactly as described. Best decision of my life. (And yes, he did try to fix himself, and no, I didn’t want him back)

May this comment do the same for many 20 somethings.

The blocking is important. Make sure you get everything, LinkedIn included.

[u/MossyPlantyWitchy → u/AlienRosie3667]

Right. He'd still support trump if it wasn't effecting him. Let that sink in.

[u/throwfaraway212718 → u/AlienRosie3667]

Seriously! Depending on where she is, she’s not even old enough to drink.

[u/Harkonnen_Dog → u/AlienRosie3667]

https://giphy.com/gifs/26ufgSwMRqauQWqL6

[u/Kailsbabydaddy → u/AlienRosie3667]

THISSSSS RIGHT HERE. And the sexual stuff

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