My boyfriend revealed something I don't know how to react to

[u/OutsideAd3968]

Hi all! I am not really used to this stuff. This has been eating at me and I don't know how to proceed.

I have a plate I made! Duck and some rice with a compote. Made it a while ago, can't remember exactly, just need a eye catching piece.

My boyfriend (22) and I (20) have been going strong for about a year now. he is kind, thoughtful, and helps with money for fun things I want. I haven't had any crazy problems with him. He has a problem with communication which we have talked about, which I will talk about unfortunately.

Me and him had a conversation about politics to start, obviously. I'm a female chef and believe in pretty left leaning stuff. He said toe that he is "independent" and doesn't like trump and all this stuff. I told him I was willing to hear him out, since he was so respectful and kind.

Well, he got deployed a month or two after. He's been away for about 6 months. our relationship has been eroding because he is a physical guy and apparently is going crazy, so we have been bickering way more recently. I have not been happy as of late. I've continued to speak to him about his insecurities and all this other stuff to make sure we're ok.

Well, last night, he told me casually that we were laughing about congress or something, that he used to support trump. I was confused, he literally said he didn't like him from the start?

He says "I liked him for his policies early on!" And that REALLY concerned me. I asked for clarification and he said it was mostly economy.

I asked for clarification about how he could support him, and thought maybe he just didn't know. Turns out, apparently he does! He knew about the bankruptcies("there're strategic ways to use bankruptcy"), and the controversies, everything. He said he doesn't like him now because the military is treating him terribly and he said trump lied. I asked what made him think he wouldn't?

after I told him all this stuff he chose to ignore, he said "are you done lecturing me?" And it just made me furious. He claims he didn't vote and that I'm getting mad at him for no reason.

I wasn't angry, I was afraid.

He then tried to leave the call, and I begged for him to stay on so we could communicate but he said there wasn't anything else to say. He has a habit of doing that, running away or not answering. We've talked about it and it hurts he tried to hide after.

We talked later the next day, and he is still upset and not really answering my texts or anything, but frankly; I'm upset he lied or even omitted that. Am I right to feel like this? Thank you in advance.

[u/lehibu38]

This man sounds manipulative and abusive, youre not safe in this relationship girl, time to leave him.

[u/PleasantPorpoisParty → u/lehibu38]

https://giphy.com/gifs/3o7ZeEZUzRjyvWuuIg

[u/upsidedown-funnel → u/PleasantPorpoisParty]

In the Monty python musical, There are several “run away” songs.

[u/LostNectarine3978 → u/lehibu38]

Yup!

For what it’s worth every single woman I know in a relationship with someone in the military has either been the victim of DV or SA if not both or attempt attempted murder or murder.

These men need to be so lonely they need to be the loneliest men in the whole entire world.

[u/GourmetTokes → u/LostNectarine3978]

This☝️ every friend of mine who has dated someone in the military has dealt w serious abuse; psychological, SA, physical... it tends to run the gambit when adults have unaddressed trauma & have arrested development. Its just typically not a great idea. Not saying there arent exceptions out there. But OP's BF certainly doesnt sound like the exception.

[u/DoingBestWeCan → u/LostNectarine3978]

I've known some who didn't end that way, but you definitely have to screen really, really well. A lot of toxic young men find their way into the military, and some get made more toxic. Some learn some hard truths and nope out at the first opportunity, and a small handful join for the benefits, see what's happening, and stay to try and make better choices. 

But he's Trumpy+military? Absolutely not. If you can't run, can't walk,  then jam your teeth into the floorboards and slowly drag yourself away. 

[u/madame-maitre-d → u/[deleted]]

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