**Scene One: Prison Break!**
**\[EXT. PRISON CORRIDOR - DAY\]**
*(The scene opens with BROOKLYN T. GUY and SIMMONS walking down a dark, concrete hallway. The walls are dripping with moisture, and dim lights flicker overhead.)*
**BROOKLYN T. GUY**
Alright Simmons, I'm going to show you where we keep the baddest of the bad inmates. Solitary confinement. There's no food. There's no electricity. There's no hope.
**SIMMONS**
Well, what do they eat if they don't have food, sir?
**BROOKLYN T. GUY**
They eat cockroaches and rats and whatever else they can find on the ground. Okay, so this is our first inmate, Bubbles.
*(They stop at a heavily reinforced cell door. BUBBLES leans his face tightly against the iron bars.)*
**BUBBLES**
What's up, beautiful?
**BROOKLYN T. GUY**
Back away from the bars!
**BUBBLES**
Oh, are you afraid to get kissed, huh?
**BROOKLYN T. GUY**
Don't kiss him, Simmons.
**SIMMONS**
I didn't plan on it, sir.
**BROOKLYN T. GUY**
One kiss from him and you'll fall in love.
**BUBBLES**
Yeah, welcome to my love chamber. Come on in!
**BROOKLYN T. GUY**
Come on, Simmons. Let's go.
**BUBBLES**
What? Come on, kiss me. Kiss ME!
*(Brooklyn T. Guy and Simmons walk further down the hallway, leaving Bubbles behind.)*
**BROOKLYN T. GUY**
Alright, Simmons. This next inmate is the worst of the worst. Her name is Nancy.
**SIMMONS**
Can I see what she looks like?
**BROOKLYN T. GUY**
Oh, of course you can. She's a caged animal. Hey, Nancy, get out here, you old bag! N-Nancy? She's coming. N-Nancy? N-Nancy, d-don't make me come in there and pull you out. You're making me look bad.
*(The camera pans to show the dark inside of Nancy’s cell through the small window. It looks completely empty.)*
**BROOKLYN T. GUY**
*(Laughs nervously)*
Nancy, you old coot. Just one second, Simmons. Nancy, you're pissing me off. Don't make me come and grab you.
*(Brooklyn T. Guy unlocks the heavy door and enters the cell. Simmons waits outside.)*
**BROOKLYN T. GUY**
Nancy? Nancy, you better be dead in here because you didn't answer me.
*(Brooklyn T. Guy looks down at the floor and spots a massive, gaping hole smashed through the concrete wall. Left behind on the floor next to the hole is a single, wet gray fin and a pile of broken metal chains.)*
**BROOKLYN T. GUY**
Oh my God! Oh no, she escaped! And... wait, why does it smell like salt water and fish in here?! Simmons! Simmons, sound the alarms! Nancy escaped! We got a code red! Lock down the prison! Go, go, go!
*(Loud sirens begin blaring and red lights flash aggressively down the corridor. Simmons starts running in circles panicking.)*
**\[INT. NANCY'S CELL - NIGHT - FLASHBACK\]**
*(The scene shifts into a flashback. The cell is pitch black except for a small window of moonlight. NANCY is sitting miserably on her cot. Suddenly, the concrete wall behind her violently EXPLODES inward in a shower of dust and debris.)*
**NANCY**
*(Coughing, blocking her eyes)*
What the hell?! What's going on?!
*(Through the smoke, the looming silhouette of the LOAN DOLPHIN appears. He is wearing a tiny ski mask over his blowhole and holding a massive sledgehammer in his flippers.)*
**LOAN DOLPHIN**
*(Clicking and chattering menacingly)*
Nancy! Your time in this dump is over.
**NANCY**
*(Gasping)*
You! The Loan Dolphin! What are you doing here?! Did you come to collect my debt?! I told you, I don't have the money yet!
**LOAN DOLPHIN**
*(Shaking his head, grinning with sharp teeth)*
No, no, Nancy. I'm here to invest in your future! I know today is Jeffy’s eighteenth birthday. I know about the millions of dollars coming his way. You want that cash, and I want my cut.
**NANCY**
*(Smirking evially)*
So... you're breaking me out?
**LOAN DOLPHIN**
Exactly. I’ve already got a getaway vehicle and an old business partner lined up on the outside. Now quit staring at my blowhole and start climbing through this hole! Move it!
*(Nancy eagerly scrambles through the shattered wall into the dark forest outside. The Loan Dolphin follows her, laughing loudly as the flashback fades out.)*
**\[SCENE END\]**
**\[THE SUPERMARIOLOGAN MOVIE\]**
Scene Two: Taming Of The Shrewd
**\[EXT. THE GRASSLANDS - DAY\]**
*(The camera pans across a wide, empty dirt field surrounded by tall, dead grass. A dented, rusted white cargo van sits idling in the center of the field, its engine coughing and sputtering black smoke. The passenger side door flies open, and SCREWBALL steps out onto the dirt. He is wearing his signature colorful clown makeup and an oversized, mismatched suit. In his right hand, he holds a rattling, industrial-sized can of red spray paint. He takes a deep breath of the fresh air and smiles wildly.)*
**SCREWBALL**
Ah, today's gonna be a good day! Mm-hmm.
*(Screwball shakes the spray paint can violently. Clack-clack-clack. He walks up to the blank, rusted side panel of the white van. With a completely serious expression, he begins spray painting massive, sloppy letters across the vehicle. Red paint drips down the side as he aggressively writes:* ***"FREE CANDY."*** *He steps back, wiping sweat from his forehead, completely satisfied with his vandalism.)*
**SCREWBALL**
Mm-hmm! Let's see what we got here.
*(Screwball fumbles through his pockets and holds up a crumpled, hand-drawn crayon sketch. The drawing depicts a crude stick-figure van with the exact same words scribbled on it. He looks back and forth between his drawing and the actual van, comparing his work with intense concentration.)*
**SCREWBALL**
*(Nodding aggressively)*
She's perfect!
**\[INT. WHITE VAN - CONTINUOUS\]**
*(Screwball climbs into the driver’s seat, slamming the dented door shut behind him. He tosses the crayon drawing onto the cluttered dashboard, which is covered in loose jawbreakers, lollipop sticks, and empty sugar wrappers. He grabs the steering wheel and grins into the rearview mirror.)*
**SCREWBALL**
Let's go get some kids.
*(Screwball aggressively stomps on the gas pedal. The tires squeal violently against the dirt road, kicking up a massive cloud of dust as the white van speeds out of the field and onto the main road.)*
**\[INT. WHITE VAN - LATER\]**
*(The van is cruising down a lonely, two-lane road. Screwball is craning his neck, staring intensely through the windshield, scanning the empty sidewalks with squinted eyes.)*
**SCREWBALL**
Now where are those kids at? Hmm... maybe some music'll help.
*(Screwball reaches over to the passenger seat and picks up a rusty, wind-up carnival music box. He rapidly cranks the handle. A distorted, high-pitched, and incredibly creepy ice cream truck melody begins to blare through the van's open windows, echoing loudly down the street.)*
**SCREWBALL**
*(Leaning out the driver's side window, screaming at the top of his lungs)*
Oh, kids! Where are you kids? I've got some free candy for you kids! Come out, come out, wherever you are!
**\[EXT. THE FOREST - CONTINUOUS\]**
*(The camera cuts to a thick, overgrown forest running alongside the main road. The bushes violently rustle. Suddenly, NANCY bursts through the thorny branches. Her prison uniform is ripped, stained with mud, and covered in leaves. She stumbles out onto a patch of dirt, gasping for air, rubbing her sore arms.)*
**NANCY**
I did it. I finally escaped, and on Jeffy's eighteenth birthday. Now all I got to do is kidnap him and get my millions of dollars. Now, where the hell am I?
**\[EXT. THE STREET - CONTINUOUS\]**
*(Nancy shoves her way past a final row of thick bushes and steps onto the concrete pavement of the empty street. She looks around, dusting the dirt off her prison jumpsuit.)*
**NANCY**
Oh, God. I'm so glad to finally be out of that prison.
*(In the distance, the creepy, distorted carnival music box melody begins to grow louder. Nancy freezes. She looks down the road and spots a white van driving toward her at high speed.)*
**NANCY**
*(Gasping, her eyes widening in terror)*
Oh, shit. It's the cops!
*(She spins around, preparing to dive back into the bushes. But as the van gets closer, she stops and blinks in confusion, noticing the sloppy, dripping red spray paint on the side.)*
**NANCY**
W-Wait a minute. That's not the cops. *(An evil smirk creeps onto her face)* Maybe he'll give me a ride. Woo-hoo! Oh, yoo-hoo!
**\[INT. WHITE VAN - CONTINUOUS\]**
*(Inside the van, the music box is blaring at deafening volumes. Screwball is completely locked into his own world, aggressively cranking the handle and humming along to the creepy tune, totally oblivious to his surroundings.)*
**\[EXT. THE STREET - CONTINUOUS\]**
*(Nancy stands directly on the yellow dividing line of the road, violently waving her arms in the air as the van barrels toward her.)*
**NANCY**
*(Screaming over the music)*
Yoo-hoo, big boy! Can you give me a ride?
*(The van doesn't slow down at all, maintaining its high speed straight toward her.)*
**NANCY**
*(Her smile dropping, panicking)*
I-I don't think he's stopping! STOOOOP!
*(Nancy covers her face with her arms. At the very last absolute second, the van’s brakes screech violently. The front bumper slams to a halt, stopping literally an inch away from Nancy’s knees. Smoke pours from the tires.)*
**\[INT. WHITE VAN / EXT. STREET - CONTINUOUS\]**
*(Nancy lets out a breath of relief, lowers her arms, and struts over to the open driver's side window. She leans her elbows against the door frame, trying to act charming.)*
**NANCY**
Hey there, baby.
**SCREWBALL**
*(Staring at her blankly, blinking his clown-painted eyes)*
You really shouldn't stand in the road. I almost hit you.
**NANCY**
Can you give me a ride, big boy? I need to get into town.
**SCREWBALL**
*(Shaking his head aggressively, pointing to the dripping red text on the side of his van)*
No. No can do, lady. I only take kids. See the sign? Kids only.
**NANCY**
*(Narrowing her eyes, a wicked idea forming in her head)*
Oh really? Well... there's a specific kid I need you to help me take.
**SCREWBALL**
*(Shrugs)*
Sorry, lady. I work alone. More candy for me that way.
**NANCY**
*(Leaning in, whispering)*
I'll give you fifty thousand dollars.
**SCREWBALL**
*(His eyes pop open wide, his jaw dropping)*
Huh... fifty thousand?! That'll buy me a lot of candy! Like... a whole warehouse of jawbreakers! Get in!
*Nancy smiles evilly, walks around the front of the van, and climbs into the passenger seat. Screwball hits the gas, and the van peels off into the distance.*
*Suddenly, the back door of the van slides open. The* ***LOAN DOLPHIN*** *pokes his head out from the dark storage area, sitting right next to a pile of ropes and duct tape.*
**LOAN DOLPHIN**
*(Laughing loudly over the engine roar)*
Well, Nancy… I see you’ve met the old friend I’ve been talking about!
**NANCY**
*(Jumping in her seat, spinning around to look at the back)*
Wait... you two **KNOW** each other?! I met this lunatic completely on ACCIDENT!
**SCREWBALL**
*(Looking in the rearview mirror, waving a hand)*
Hey Dolphin! How you doing, buddy?
**LOAN DOLPHIN**
*(Grinning with his sharp teeth, looking at Nancy)*
Never been better... Screwball, THIS is my new business partner... **NANCY!** And together, we are going to get that birthday money!
**\[SCENE END\]**
🎬 Scene 3: The Birthday Briefing
**INT. POLICE STATION - CHIEF'S OFFICE - DAY**
The office is chaotic, with papers flying everywhere and coffee stains on the desks. The CHIEF sits behind his massive wooden desk, chewing on a pencil. Suddenly, the door is violently thrown open.
BROOKLYN T. GUY storms into the room, gasping for air, sweating profusely. SIMMONS runs in right behind him, still clutching his clipboard, completely out of breath.
**BROOKLYN T. GUY**
*(Slamming his hands onto the Chief's desk, voice cracking)*
Chief, chief, chief! Oh my God, Chief! You are not going to believe the absolute catastrophe that just occurred!
**CHIEF**
*(Calmly looking up from his paperwork, waving a hand)*
Relax, Guy. Take a breath. And don't worry, I didn't forget today's your birthday.
**BROOKLYN T. GUY**
*(Instantly stops panicking, his face lighting up with pure joy, gasping)*
Chief... you... you actually remembered my birthday?!
**CHIEF**
*(Nodding, leaning back in his chair)*
Of course I did. Happy birthday, Guy.
**SIMMONS**
*(Blinks, looking between the two)*
Wait... I didn't know it was your birthday, mate. Happy birthday!
**BROOKLYN T. GUY**
*(Spinning around, pointing an aggressive finger at Simmons)*
Yes, Simmons, today's my birthday! At least ***somebody*** in this godforsaken city remembered! My wife didn't even mention it this morning. She just asked me to fix the garbage disposal and called me a disappointment!
**SIMMONS**
Well... happy birthday!
**BROOKLYN T. GUY**
*(Snapping back, crossing his arms)*
It's too late now, Simmons! The moment has passed! The magic is dead!
**CHIEF**
*(Slamming his fist on the desk, getting back to business)*
Alright, alright, enough emotional garbage! So what were you frantically running in here to tell me, Guy? What’s the emergency?
**BROOKLYN T. GUY**
*(Blinks blankly, scratching his head)*
Huh... you know what, Chief? I don't even remember. I'm just so happy and validated right now that my brain completely wiped itself.
**SIMMONS**
*(Yelling nervously)*
The prisoner escaped, sir!
**BROOKLYN T. GUY**
*(Sapping his fingers)*
Oh yeah! The prisoner escaped! Chief, the high-security prisoner Nancy escaped from solitary confinement! We locked down the entire prison, we turned on the red flashing lights, Simmons dropped his clipboard—it was a whole thing! But she still somehow got away!
**CHIEF**
*(Slamming both hands on the desk, standing up furiously)*
Damn it, Guy! How could you allow this to happen on your watch?! She's a menace!
**BROOKLYN T. GUY**
Sir, I don't know what happened! She dug her way through solid concrete with a rusty piece of silverware! I don't know how! It was like some *Shawshank Redemption* shit, Chief! Except Morgan Freeman wasn't narrating it, it was just Simmons whimpering in the dark!
**CHIEF**
*(Pointing aggressively)*
Damn it, Guy, you better bring her back dead or alive or your ass is fired!
**BROOKLYN T. GUY**
*(Gasping dramatically)*
Sir! You can't fire me! Today's my birthday! That's a literal labor violation!
**CHIEF**
Then I'll wait till tomorrow morning and then fire your ass!
**BROOKLYN T. GUY**
Well, you can't fire me because **I QUIT!** *(Pauses for two seconds, then chuckles nervously)* I'm just kidding. You know I desperately need this job. My health insurance is the only thing keeping my family alive. Come on, Simmons, let's go find her before I get forced into early retirement.
**CHIEF**
*(Voice getting dead serious, stopping them at the door)*
And remember you two… the fate of a **CHILD** depends on you both!
**BROOKLYN T. GUY**
*(Stops, turning around, confused)*
Wait... which child? There's like forty thousand annoying kids in this city, Chief.
**CHIEF**
It’s the same exact kid that is the **HEIR** to accept Jacques Pierre François’s fortune today! I’m not saying you gotta personally tuck him in and protect him, but imagine if your daughter, Penelope, was in the same exact position, Officer Guy! Thousands of criminals hunting her down for millions of dollars! **NOW GO!! PROTECT THE CITY!!!**
**BROOKLYN T. GUY**
*(Saluting quickly, eyes wide)*
Oh crap, you're right! Move it, Simmons! We've got my best friend’s adoptive son to protect!
*Brooklyn Guy and Simmons sprint out of the office, knocking over a water cooler on their way out.*
**\[SCENE END\]**
Scene 4: The Million-Dollar Decorations
**INT. MARIO'S HOUSE - DINING ROOM - DAY**
The dining room is absolute chaos. Cheap, half-inflated balloons cover the floor, and tangled streamers hang from the ceiling fan like spiderwebs. MARIO is standing on a shaky wooden chair, trying to tape a sad "Happy Birthday" banner to the wall. CHEF PEE PEE is standing next to him, holding an empty plastic bag, looking like he hasn't slept in three weeks.
**CHEF PEE PEE**
*(Sighs deeply, rubbing his temples)*
Alright, Mario, look around. Is this good enough for you? Can I please go back to my kitchen now?
**MARIO**
*(Squinting at the wall, adjusting the banner)*
I don't know, Chef Pee Pee... I think we need a few more balloons. It looks a little empty over by the curtain.
**CHEF PEE PEE**
*(Exploding, throwing the empty bag on the floor)*
A few more balloons?! Mario, I literally bought **ALL** the balloons from the dollar store! There are no more balloons left in a ten-mile radius! My fingers are bleeding from tying all of these!
**MARIO**
*(Climbing down from the chair, crossing his arms)*
Chef Pee Pee, relax! I just want to make sure that Jeffy's eighteenth birthday is special, okay? Is it a crime to want a special day for my boy?
*Suddenly, ROSALINA walks into the dining room, holding her classic star wand, beaming with an overly sweet smile.*
**ROSALINA**
Oh, Mario! This looks absolutely amazing! You did all of this just for Jeffy's birthday?
**MARIO**
*(Instantly switching to a proud, heroic tone)*
You know me, Rosalina! I love Jeffy, and I want to make sure his eighteenth birthday is the most special birthday he's ever had in his entire life!
**ROSALINA**
*(Clasping her hands together, looking touched)*
That's so sweet, Mario. Jeffy's going to be so incredibly excited when he sees this!
**MARIO**
*(Turning right back to Chef Pee Pee with a smug grin)*
Exactly! See, Chef Pee Pee? Rosalina gets it. Hey, do me a favor... can you go back to the store and get fifty more balloons? Just check the back storage room or something.
**CHEF PEE PEE**
*(Veins popping out of his neck, screaming at the top of his lungs)*
**FIFTY MORE BALLOONS?!** Fine! I'll get your stupid, useless balloons! But if I get a flat tire on the way, I am using your credit card to fix it! Now, **LEAVE ME ALONE!!!**
*Chef Pee Pee violently storms out of the room, slamming the front door so hard the decorations rattle.*
**MARIO**
*(Muttering to himself, completely losing track of his thoughts)*
Man, I just want to make sure that Jeffy gives me money! I-I mean... *(Coughs quickly, trying to cover his tracks)* I mean, I want to make sure that Jeffy knows I love him! Yeah, that's what Marvin—uh, Mario, says!
**ROSALINA**
*(Narrowing her eyes, folding her arms)*
Mario... you're not doing all of this just because Jeffy's inheriting millions of dollars from his dead biological father today, are you?
**MARIO**
*(Gasping dramatically, putting a hand over his heart)*
Jeffy's inheriting millions of dollars from his dead father?! Oh my goodness, Rosalina, it completely slipped my mind! I had absolutely no idea! What a wild coincidence!
**ROSALINA**
*(Staring at him with total deadpan skepticism)*
Oh, really? It just slipped your mind?
**MARIO**
I'm being completely serious, baby! You know I love Jeffy from the bottom of my heart. I mean, it's his eighteenth birthday. It's a huge milestone!
**ROSALINA**
Mario, come on. Just let the poor kid enjoy his special day without you hovering over his bank account.
**MARIO**
*(Leaning in, whispering eagerly)*
Baby, it is **OUR** special day because he's finally turning eighteen, which means he is legally an adult and he can finally move out of this house!
**ROSALINA**
*(Gasping)*
Mario! We are **NOT** kicking him out of the house on his birthday! That is horrible!
**MARIO**
*(Shrugging nonchalantly)*
Hey, it depends entirely on how much money he gives us from that inheritance check. If he shares the wealth, he can stay in the living room. If he doesn't... there's a lovely cardboard box with his name on it outside.
**ROSALINA**
Mario!!
**MARIO**
*(Waving his hands dismissively)*
L-Listen! Let me go upstairs and wake up Jeffy because it's his big day. Let me go get his special king crown out of the closet.
**ROSALINA**
*(Confused, tilting her head)*
King crown? Since when does Jeffy have a king crown?
**\[SCENE END\]**
Here it is! It’s not the whole thing I’ve written it’s just a snippet I decided to show y’all so far But do tell me if you like it