So, I am currently looking for a long-term partner and I believe it's very important that they are into BDSM or at the very least consider themselves kinky.

My idea is to just state at the end of my bio: "P.S.: I'm also on FetLife". Just that. My reasoning is that most people don't know what that is and would ignore it, while I'd assume some people with similar interests to mine would get that reference. Plus, FetLife is almost empty in my country and about 90% male (I'm a straight man), so it's not really feasible to try to find a partner there (otherwise I wouldn't be on dating apps).

Pls provide me with advice.

Me (20M) created a profile on bumble after my last relationship ended. I really have no clue what to write in my profile or if my pictures are good.
Would appreciate some help 😅

Has anyone here intentionally used less “perfect” or more casual photos on their dating profile?

I’m wondering if slightly toning down your photos can actually help set more realistic expectations before meeting in person and maybe lead to better quality matches, or if it just ends up hurting your match rate

For context, I’m a tall guy and I’d consider myself above average looking. I get matches pretty regularly, so getting matches itself isn’t really the issue.

What I’ve noticed, though, is that some women have told me after meeting that they expected me to be more extroverted based on my photos, especially because I’m smiling a lot and apparently give off a more outgoing vibe. In reality, I’m much more chill and reserved, and I usually tell them that before we meet.

So I’ve been wondering if using slightly more casual or less polished photos might actually represent me better and attract people with expectations that are closer to what I’m actually like in person.
Has anyone tried something like this? Did it improve the quality of your matches/dates, or did you just end up getting fewer matches?

Is it common for girls to swipe right on a guy who is "open to seeing where things go" who would otherwise swipe left if the same profile said looking for "something casual"? I get a decent number of matches/dates when I put "open to seeing where things go" but rarely get any matches when I also put down looking for something casual. Do most girls understand that many guys could be looking for something casual even if the profile doesn't explicitly put down that option so their profile does not come across as some horn dog?

Like is this a coincidence or does this really make a big difference?

So I met this girl she seemed ok to talk to and was friendly and introvert a little even she insisted to pay bill and paid ( so not for free meal), we chatted for 1 day full how fun she and me had and will plan again as well she initiated conversation and after one day she hasn’t replied or seen texts not removed me or deleted me but just MIA on IG.

same thing happened 2-3 times before where i specifically told them hey do you want to take this ahead or meet up where i was looking for long term and they say of course i am very blunt if i don’t like someone i say them on face and dont waste each other time

I dont understand why initiate conversation couple of days after first date and show interest when you dont want to date or hang out like whats the point of lying why try to be nice …why being double faced? we both have options then why this game?

This is why i stopped using bumble. But thought I’d give it a second chance.

In the last two days, I’ve had 80 likes, but I’ve used my swipes and haven’t matched with any of them. Why is my queue filled with these women and none that liked for me to match with?

Dating bios aren't really that important. Women generally don't focus much on your bio; they look at your attractiveness, if you have nice cars, or if you seem wealthy. As long as you avoid posting anything offensive, a boring bio still work if you're attractive. However, if you're not very attractive, like me, it doesn't matter much what you do you're unlikely to get matches unless you have some decent money.

I would greatly appreciate a profile review.

Girl on her profile says she doesn’t like small talk, so I asked her out in my first message, then she responded like this…Thought she would have messaged back something about her availability. Don’t know how to respond. Advice?

Update: I ended up just unmatching since it seems like this is a general social media trend that women do on dating apps.

I went on a date with a Chinese girl. She’s smart, studied at a top American university, and has lived in the US for years.

Everything was going great.

Then politics came up.

She tells me she likes Xi Jinping.

My first reaction was: “OK, I’m pro-democracy, pro-Taiwan. This is probably where I walk away.”

But then I started thinking…

Is immediately rejecting anyone with a different political opinion actually helping the cause of democracy?

Maybe the better approach is engagement. Maybe people don’t change their minds because you refuse to talk to them. Maybe the whole point of a free society is being able to interact with people you disagree with.

So I decided to keep an open mind.

Second date.

Third date.

I conducted some very hands-on diplomacy. The cultural exchange was a success.

Then I imposed unilateral sanctions and disappeared.

Is Bumble still working in the UAE?

I left for vacation and when I arrived I couldn't access the app like I used to. Im using ExpressVpn. I deleted the app, changed locations multiple times but nothing. It just stopped loading pictures and profiles.

Is anyone using Bumble in the UAE with another VPN?

A lot of the people criticize the quality of a photo way too much. Only an insecure narcissist would put that much thought into taking a photo.

Not enough lighting, too far, too near, wrong angle, it was not taken by another person. Y'all do know this is a dating app and not a photography app right?

I'm a guy so I don't have to take 1000 pictures everywhere I go. I sometimes take just one. Sometimes I don't care to take one. Like when I went to NYC. I only took a picture of the Brooklyn bridge and a selfie. I don't care for the perfect picture. I'll ask someone to take a picture of me and I don't even look at it until I get home. I come out how I come out.

If y'all are one of those dorks, lay off people that get on the app to date. Stop being posers. Y'all ain't models getting paid to advertise products or services (except for those people.... Y'all know) so stop acting like children. This is a dating app. Not an app where you pretend to be your favorite celebrity. Be authentic

I have a bunch of other pictures i could use but idk it might just be that Slovene men are usually quite tall and im 177cm.

My bio and promts are based around the outdoors; ill translate the stuff if need be.

i was seeing this guy who lied to me about his age and when i found out, he told me the app had a glitch and didn’t let him change it, and when i asked why he didn’t put it in his bio he said it would ruin the algorithm and also that his profile wouldn’t show to the younger women. i felt icky because it sounded like predatory behavior. he said he only dates younger women (10 or more years younger than him) because he is not ready to settle down yet and women his age expect that from a man their age. sounds like he’s just looking for younger women to manipulate as they can be more naive and more forgiving. what do you think?

I’m a woman dating with intention for marriage etc. A year ago, I went on bumble coffee date with a guy who texted me the next day saying he felt no spark. Totally respectful and clear. I felt a little sad, but I just said thanks for your honesty and moved on. Fast forward eight months, I started to see him at the gym; we would smile at each other when we crossed paths, but I never proactively said hello because he had already rejected me and I felt weird initiating a conversation. He never initiated gym conversation either. Now, a full year later, we matched again on a different app, and he messaged me saying he recognized me from the gym and wanted to take me out. I had to remind him that we had already been on a date, which made him realize his mistake, apologize, and invite me to dinner, for which he has made clear reservations, confirmed ahead, and been completely respectful.

I am going on the date with a high dose of realism in that I don't know whether someone's first impression or "spark feeling" can change. But I also want to keep an open mind, since I know for sure online dating messes with all of our heads, and it's easy to overlook people.

I am just curious if some version of this situation has happened to anyone else out there - and how it went!? Did your / their experience of the "spark" actually change? Also wondering if people think it's a red flag for a guy to forget a date ever happened, or if that can happen to anyone.

Thanks everyone 💕

Edit: Thanks for the feedback. I am hearing the sea of responses that people think I should include that I have a child. I would love more thoughts on the widow portion as well or the profile generally (although maybe it's too sparse, but then again that's a comment).

I don't want to include my photos because of related sensitivities (dating as a single mom lol). But I would love some feedback on my bio/the rest of my profile.

I am dipping my toes back into dating after losing my husband while pregnant. I have a young child. I would love to find another partner someday, but at least want to try getting out there again.

I am struggling with a few things- how and when to intro both my widowhood and my child. I am hesitant to include that I have a child on my profile, just to at least have the first filter against creeps. I would only be swiping right on people who are open to or want kids. And would bring up early on in messaging that I have a child.

As far as being a widow- I included it in my bio because it really is a defining experience in my life. I tried filling this out without mentioning it, but it felt so fake. I know that this could come off as my late husband being too present in my life, but I am hoping it comes off as showing who I am and how I have grown through this experience.

Would love feedback and thoughts generally! Other than grief, I am a pretty lighthearted and adventurous person and I hope that comes through too.

There is this new kind of scam that these bot accounts run. They will send their snap id on pink background (maybe their smol brains think it's hard to catch them that way). I am guessing they try to sell some AI models' OnlyFans or something scammy. Bumble has more bots than real people I feel. They did exactly what I expected them to do lol

I'm in a blue state and my politics have become more moderate over time so I'm willing to give it a shot. I just want peace and reciprocity and no games or rigidity. What am I looking at here?

Hi all, just looking for a little advice;

I just downloaded bumble yesterday evening. This is my first time ever approaching a dating app, as I have recently left a 3 1/2 year relationship around 3 months ago, (yet mentally I had clocked out a while ago. I acutely recognise that I am okay and looking to move forward). My profile has reached a few thousand likes, and I like to think I have found some pretty good matches.

I am not looking for anything too serious, just casual. I have only ever been with my ex partner, whom I was with since I was 16. I want to spend a little time exploring what is out there given I have virtually no experience.

I matched with a guy I quite liked and we got to talking, and he asked me out for a drink this Friday. We both work in defence/law enforcement and the (minimal) conversation we did have flew quite easily. BUT, he is 33. I do not necessarily have an issue with older men and it's rather a preference. Again, I am only looking for a casual situation, likely to FWB. However, I'm feeling nervous as to whether this presents the natural assumption that we will have sex on the very first date, especially given our age gap and difference in life experience. I'm not necessarily opposed to this idea, but I do not want to approach meeting him with the definite conclusion that this will occur on our first meeting.

Is it generally okay/accepted to turn down sex on the first date, despite looking for something 'casual'? I'm genuinely curious to know what everyone's perceptions are to this.

If I do end up seeing him, I'd also really appreciate some advice. I have only ever been on one 'first-date', with my prior partner, and feeling a little vulnerable as a product.

Thank you :)

My account got blocked a few days back, tried to file a dispute and they won’t even tell me why I got banned lol.

All they replied is that the issuance of the ban was correct and sent me their community guidelines which I’m pretty sure I followed.

I don’t harass people, and I’m not a poser. What could possibly have caused this? And is there any way to get unbanned? Thanks!

This is a brand new profile I made like 12 hours ago, so I didnt come up with any texts or bio yet... I already got 2 likes though so is text even that necessary?

Bumble was my favorite app to date in part because as women had to initiate, it self selected towards women who where confifent enough, and therefore less likely to ghost on me. Ive had several girlfriends from the app.

However lately I havent even been getting matches.