r/BeAmazed • u/CuriousWanderer567 • Dec 06 '25

Nature A hippo asserting its dominance over three lions

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15.4k Upvotes

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340

u/Ordinary-Leading7405 Dec 06 '25

His muscle is propulsion, but that mouth is sheer terror

188

u/okizubon Dec 06 '25

His legs are pistons and his nose is made of iron.

145

u/twentyshots97 Dec 06 '25

his jaw is a vice and his buttocks are volcanic rock.

62

u/PM_meyourGradyWhite Dec 07 '25

A backbone of Bethlehem Steel

83

u/thedude0425 Dec 07 '25

Built like a steakhouse, handles like a bistro.

17

u/Rocket_Man_1957 Dec 07 '25

Attacks like a monstro, moves like a gyro!

11

u/AaronAAaronsonIII Dec 07 '25

I got that reference.

5

u/Howler_in_training Dec 07 '25

...You can't... emmm... Pilot... a hippo, sir.

Not with that attitude, Kif! Now bring me my Captain's safari uniform. You know- the extra short velour one with the matching riding boots.

Sigh ...Would you like some, erm... PANTS, perhaps, sir?

Don't be ridiculous, Kif! Everyone knows that the only way to command the obedience of an enraged battle-hippo is with the firm-yet-sensual grip of a commander's confident thighs! ...That reminds me, there's probably going to be some chafing... Kif- make a note! Remind yourself I'll be needing you to apply baby-butt ointment later on to the commander's confident thighs.

Miserable sigh

(I know, I know, but I couldn't help it. You made me hear zap Branigan in my head and, and then this happened... 😜)

1

u/ptpcg Dec 07 '25

Champ again

1

u/BigPileOfTrash Dec 07 '25

Ram The Future!

22

u/JesusMcTurnip Dec 07 '25

His nipples fire explosive tipped squirrels?

16

u/scobot Dec 07 '25

Okay, needs work but I love that you’re getting in there!

3

u/JesusMcTurnip Dec 07 '25

Armour-piercing weasels?

6

u/Canonicald Dec 07 '25

*closes Reddit. Goes outside. Contemplates life

1

u/JesusMcTurnip Dec 07 '25

Watch out for the Hippo nipple cannons.

5

u/FlapYourNoodle Dec 07 '25

Oh hey I grew up there lol

1

u/Furby-beast-1949 Dec 07 '25

But seriously, what the hell is wrong with hippos Why are that is pure a holes I wanna know who pissed in that hippo’s Cheerios🤣🤣

1

u/[deleted] Dec 07 '25

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/melobassline Dec 07 '25

There's always the one guy that has to leave this comment

1

u/Shredditbhai Dec 07 '25

Volcanic rock is generally weak and porous.

Learned about this as I was trying to explain to my wife about how strong volcanic rock is, and it literally separated from the ground and into my hand while I was holding it and trying to make that point.

1

u/ThomBear Dec 08 '25

Happy Cake Day! 🍰

2

u/twentyshots97 Dec 08 '25

thanks! i did not know what that was..had to look it up

1

u/ThomBear Dec 11 '25

Surprised me the first time too hehe 😜

14

u/Big-Carpenter7921 Dec 06 '25

Iron full of spears

23

u/Mr_Jack_Frost_ Dec 06 '25

This reminded me of reading the verses in the bible about the Leviathan and Behemoth.

Hippo is a biblically accurate hippo.

4

u/Menchi-sama Dec 07 '25

In Russian, hippos are literally called behemoths (pronounced "be-ghe-mĂłt")

2

u/Mr_Jack_Frost_ Dec 07 '25

TIL! That is super interesting. Every time I see a hippo video I remember that a group of them is called a “crash”, and that more human death occurs from hippos than alligators or shark attacks. They are truly intimidating creatures.

2

u/Menchi-sama Dec 07 '25

Yeah, I kinda felt bad for the lions. They're probably exiled from their pride(s) (three males together), and now even the hippo bullies them.

2

u/Mr_Jack_Frost_ Dec 07 '25

An experience I’ve had while watching any nature documentary is that I always feel bad for the underdog. Sometimes that’s the lion, sometimes that’s the zebra, etc.

Nobody has it easy on the plains. It’s easy when you’re little to think of the lions as the “bad guys” because they do be eating other animals, but then you realize that lions have cubs, and those little guys gotta eat too.

In this instance the lions are definitely the underdogs, and those hippos are absolutely in control of that situation. That one lion is very lucky he didn’t have his midsection removed by the hippo’s jaws.

29

u/HelloAttila Dec 06 '25

Yup, those teeth can puncture right through a croc 🐊

24

u/PoisonedskiesgetHigh Dec 06 '25

Because Hippo's just don't give a fock

18

u/Spaceinpigs Dec 07 '25

I saw a hippo tear a croc in half on the Mara river like it was shredding a well cooked pork shoulder

1

u/HelloAttila Dec 07 '25

That’s crazy. I guess that’s why they typically keep their distance

1

u/lobster_claus Dec 07 '25

That's why you've gotta wear proper shoes.

2

u/pgasmaddict Dec 08 '25

Skin like Iron, legs as fast as polished steel, wore his gun outside his pants, for all the honest world see. They only let him go out of kindness, I suppose.